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10 Naughty Video Games From The Retro Era

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10 Naughty Video Games From The Retro Era

While it isn’t all that rare to see nudity in a video-game these days, it is rare to see genuine x- rated material. Most modern games use nudity to “adult up” a game meant for mature audiences, but the plot-lines are still typical video game scenarios.

In the days before video games had a ratings system, games featuring sexuality weren’t just displaying some nudity, the plots of the games themselves were entirely x-rated in nature, right down to the plot-lines, some even bordering on the edge of (and even falling into) tastelessness.

Let’s take a look at ten of these adult games from a bygone era.

10. Bachelor Party -Atari 2600 – 1982

via: atariage.com

via: atariage.com

It’s hard to believe that the Atari 2600, a home console gaming system released in 1977, would have had the graphical capability to make a game detailed enough to portray nudity in a way that needed to be deemed “adult”.

The game itself is just a clone of a game called Breakout. The player controls a paddle that slides across the bottom of the screen, much like Pong, and directs a ball into a series of bricks at the top of the screen. When the ball hits a brick, it breaks, and sends the ball back to the paddle. Bachelor Party added a twist: the ball is a nude man and the bricks are nude women. When the man hits the paddle he goes erect, and after hitting a woman he goes soft, presumably because he just had sex with her.

A reversed version, Bachelorette Party, was also released.

9. Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em – Atari 2600 – 1982

via: gamesdbase.com

via: gamesdbase.com

This game is not for the easily offended. If you take a modern game like God of War, which features full frontal nudity, the nudity portrayed by a few pixels in an Atari game couldn’t be considered more than just “suggested nudity”. It’s the object of Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em that makes it so offensive.

A man is on a rooftop, masturbating. The players control two nude women on the ground below who must catch the man’s falling ejaculate on their bodies. If a player misses four times, they lose the game. However, a player can gain another turn by earning, wait for it, 69 points.

This game also had a gender reversed version where two nude mail prisoners had to catch the breast milk of a witch.

8. Bubble Bath Babes – Nintendo Entertainment System – 1991

via: ebay.com

via: ebay.com

This game is a bit like puzzle games in the vein of the tried and true classic, Tetris. The goal is to steer a series of rising bubbles so that matching colored bubbles would touch. If enough bubbles of the same color are touching, all of those bubbles disappear. If the player is able to eliminate all the bubbles, they are rewarded with glorious 8-bit, full frontal nudity.

This game was pretty tame when compared to some of the x-rated offerings on the Atari 2600 but the game is notable for being one of five most sexually explicit games to be released on the original Nintendo. The game is also notable for its rarity. Completionist Nintendo collectors have been known to pay up to $1000 for a copy of Bubble Bath Babes.

7. Cathouse Blues – Atari 2600 – 1983

via: atarimania.com

via: atarimania.com

This game doesn’t have as much of the full frontal as other games on this list, but once again it’s the object of the game that really adds that “adults only” level.

The object of Cathouse Blues is your male character must visit a bank to withdraw money and visit a number of prostitution dens to sleep with seven different women before the cops catch you. The game was released in the first adult 2-in-1 video game cartridge along with a version of Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em, renamed to Philly Flasher.

Once again, a gender reversed version of Cathouse Blues was released. The female version was simply titled Gigolo.

6. Burning Desire – Atari 2600 – 1982

via: gamesdbase.com

via: gamesdbase.com

Brace yourselves, the fact that Burning Desire is an actual game that people played just might blow your mind. This is the actual scenario a player is put into when they put the Burning Desire cartridge into their Atari 2600:

A completely nude man is flying over a jungle that for some reason or another has erupted in flames. A nude woman is trapped on the jungle floor. The man must release on the flaming trees to put out the fires (unfortunately this is all true), and when all the flames have been extinguished, you know, with semen, the helicopter lowers to the ground, the woman grabs on to the nude man’s “unit”, and she is then flown to safety.

Once again a gender-reversed version was made and at one time was actually released with Burning Desire in a 2-in-1 cartridge. This version was known as Jungle Fever. Once again, the female character lactates in lieu of ejaculation.

5. Hot Slots – Nintendo Entertainment System – 1991

via: gamesdbase.com

via: gamesdbase.com

Hot Slots is one more out of Nintendo’s five game library of x-rated games. The cartridge itself is very unassuming and might give a child the idea that this is just a simple slot-machine game. There isn’t one scantily female on the actual cartridge label.

Players are given the option to play three different slot machine games that themselves aren’t of an adult nature. What you win is where the x-rated elements come in. Players are given women wearing anything from bathing suits, lingerie, to totally nude as prizes for a slot well played. The women are accompanied by racy word balloons with comically adult comments like, “Score some more and I’ll let you play with my lucky slot!” and “You’ve been a good boy. Now you can play with my plump prize plums!”

4. Honey Peach – Nintendo Entertainment System and Game Boy – 1990

honeypeach1

At first glance, a Nintendo fan might think a Nintendo game called Honey Peach is a new Wii U game that focuses on Princess Peach. This is far from the truth.

Honey Peach is a “Rock, Paper, Scissors” game with a rule set similar to strip poker. The loser in each match is made to remove an article of clothing, even the male avatar used by the player. Sorry ladies. There is no gender reversed version of Honey Peach.

An interesting catch to Honey Peach is that in true video game fashion, a player could enter a cheat code to jump ahead instantly to their favorite 8-bit girl, because who wants to play six games of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to see a specific naked cartoon woman?

3. X-Man – Atari 2600 – 1983

x-man

X-Man has nothing to do with Marvel’s X-Men comics and is actually the only game that publisher Universal Games (which has no affiliation with Universal Studios) ever made.

In X-Man, the player once again assumes the role of a fully nude, fully erect, male character. The male, who we assume to be the titular X-Man, must traverse a maze, protecting his erect unit from the worst enemies a penis could have: scissors, teeth, and of course, crabs. Once the player beats the game they are actually rewarded with a new mini-game, a rhythm based sex-simulator with a pixelated, virtual woman.

It is said a copy of the game could fetch an extremely high price from a collector, as there are only 20 -45 copies said to be in existence.

2. Divine Sealing – Sega Mega Drive – 1991

via: mobygames.com

via: mobygames.com

Divine Sealing was an adult game that appears to have been made purely for the sake of making an adult game, since it isn’t even that much of a game.

The game itself is a very crude first-person shooter. The players don’t pick up any special weapons or buff items, they only have one gun in their arsenal, and there are only five short stages. The stages themselves aren’t pornographic in nature. Once again the player is rewarded with nude images, but thanks to the fact that Divine Sealing is on the Sega Mega Drive (know as Sega Genesis in North America), the once 8-bit or less images are now done in a hentai style and in glorious Sega 16-bit graphics!

1. Custer’s Revenge – Atari 2600 – 1982

via: gamesdbase.com

via: gamesdbase.com

While this game isn’t any more graphic in its portrayal of nudity than other games on the list, and while the idea itself isn’t any more outlandish than other games on the list, this game was considered to be racist, and was also accused of promoting sexual abuse; mainly because the game was racist and promoted sexual abuse.

One can assume Custer is getting revenge for Little Big Horn, which would mean he’s dead, so we can add necrophilia to the list of the offenses in Custer’s Revenge.

A totally nude General Custer, complete with obligatory x-rated Atari game erection, must cross the screen to sleep with what is presumably an unwilling Native American woman, as he must dodge arrows to get to her and she’s tied to a pole. When the game was purchased from the original publisher, a slight modification was made: the Native American woman was now holding out her hand in a “come hither” gesture, as if this small change made everything okay.

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