Match The Creepy Killer Kid To The Horror Movie
It’s a well known, scientific fact that children are evil. Just look at them. They’re incomplete, devoid of regular human emotion, and they’re just primed to take over everything. As they get older – as they grow sentience – they come to understand just how much power and control they have. They find new ways to manipulate, get what they want out of their elders, then like some foreign being with malicious intent, move on to their next conquest. Soon, they reach the metamorphosis, when their bodies morph and contort, little by little, growing to look like us more and more. Through their continued manipulation, they obtain our latest technologies. They consume our media, insidiously putting in place the newest trends. Their video games turn them into trained killers, their phones are used to create secret communications we need an Enigma machine to decipher. “Own” becomes “pwn.”
And yet we refuse to eradicate them. Rather, we send them to institutions and teach them our ways, hoping they’ll take heed and not repeat our mistakes that led to their existence; that perhaps this time, lessons will be learned. For if they will dominate society when they hit that most desired demographic of 18-35, surely there is some wisdom we can impart before fading into insignificance.
Alas, it’s too late. They’ve fully formed and overtaken us. And they’re mating.
Like most disasters, Hollywood has been ahead of the game in warning us of such dangers. The “creepy kid” subgenre of horror is one of the most reliable in generating easy scares. The juxtaposition of supposed innocence and pure evil is something to which anyone can have a visceral reaction.
So how many tykes and toddlers have haunted your dreams? Take the quiz to find out.
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