One thing has never changed. A sweet ride immediately makes you one cool dude. It is one memory every guy has. He pulls into his high school’s parking lot, gets out of his car, and the dude with the coolest car seems to always have the hottest chicks around him. If that guy with the awesome car was you, you have no idea the pain you caused so many of the other guys in your class. Most of us were the ones dreaming of the cars. We had posters on our walls and knew someday we would have the cash to pick one up and become the king of the parking lot. For most of us, we grew up with a less than eye catching car. We were forced to settle with whatever we could get our hands on that would get us from point A to point B at the lowest cost possible. Of course, these cars never got the girls and never had all our friends wishing they were us. In some cases, we were a bit embarrassed to be seen in our own vehicles. Most everyday cars are not embarrassing. They may not be the best thing in the world, but one can deal with it. However, there are a few cars that some would rather walk or ride a bike than be seen in. They are atrocious in every way and barely deserve to be called an automobile. Their body style is completely underwhelming and they might as well have a lawn mower motor under the hood. This list talks about the absolute worst of the worst. For those of you who had one of these, hopefully by now you are sporting a new set of wheels. After all, nothing says cool like a cool car. Unfortunately, nothing says loser like an uncool one.
10. AMC Gremlin
The Gremlin was a two door subcompact car produced in North America by the American Motor Company. It was considered to be the original American made fuel economy car. Its design has served as a basis for modern day research on alternative fuels and power systems. Its major competitor was the Volkswagon Beetle. The AMC Gremlin had much less interior space than the Beetle despite being a bit longer. It was also a bit faster than other subcompact cars being produced at the time. Instead of a smaller engine, the Gremlin came equipped with a straight six cylinder. Unfortunately, AMC decided to use a cartoon gremlin as the car’s logo. There is really only one vehicle that can get away with this: a Plymouth Roadrunner. AMC’s Gremlin does have one redeeming quality. Because they are hard to find in good condition, it has become a popular car to turn into a hot rod. Many mechanics find it funny that its engine compartment can squeeze a 409 cubic inch engine block in it.
9. Smart Fortwo
The Smart Fortwo is one of today’s most popular city cars. A city car is a car that, due to its small size and lack of power, is designed mostly for use in urban areas. Smart is a division of Daimler AG. The Fortwo was first introduced in 1998 and is currently in its second generation. It comes in a three door hatch-back model or as a two door convertible. It is very popular because of its estimated 55 miles per gallon. However, with only a three cylinder engine, it is incredibly weak and won’t get you anywhere fast, or in style.
8. Ford Pinto
The Pinto was Ford’s subcompact car from 1971 to 1980. It originally only came as a four door sedan, but in 1972 Ford started producing hatch-back and wagon models. The Pinto did not lack power in comparison to many of its competitors. It had a four cylinder engine which was adequate for its very light body. In its ten years of existence, Ford sold three million Pintos. Unfortunately, it was never cool to be seen in and then became even more of a joke in 1978. In 1978, Ford found itself in the middle of numerous lawsuits over the Pinto’s fuel tank design. It was considered highly unsafe. Years later it was discovered that the fuel tank was actually safer than most of the automobiles on the market at the time. This did not help because by this time the Pinto had already been replaced by the Ford Escort.
7. Mercury Grand Marquis
The Mercury Grand Marquis is not uncool because of how it is built. The Grand Marquise comes with either a 5.0L or 5.8L V8 engine which delivers a good amount of power for a full size sedan. Instead the car is uncool because of who typically drives it. It is the ultimate old person car. Mercury knew this and even attempted to update the car to appeal to a younger crowd in 1998. It did not do what was intended and it is still a car for those with many years under their belts.
6. Geo Metro
How was the Geo Metro not going to be on this list? It is definitely one of the most popular fuel economy cars ever made. It was made by the Japanese auto manufacturer Suzuki and jointly marketed with the help of GMC. It was sold in the United States from 1989 to 2001. Originally it came with a three cylinder engine, but had to switch to a four cylinder engine in 1995 due to decreasing sales. In 2008, years after the car stopped being produced, the Geo Metro became one of the most popular used cars in North America because of its high gas mileage. However, being seen in one was still not very popular.
5. Renault 5
The Renault 5 is a super mini car produced by the French automaker Renault. It had two generations throughout its lifetime. The first was from 1972 to 1985. The second generation was introduced in 1984 and produced through 1996. Only the first generations were ever sold outside of Europe. The name for the Renault 5 in the United States was “Le Car”. It came in three door or five door hatch-back models. Le Car had a 1.4L four cylinder engine with hemispherical combustion chambers. Make no mistake: this was no Hemi. The Renault 5 was always criticized outside of Europe for being terribly underpowered.
4. Fiat Ritmo
In the 1970s Fiat gained a reputation in North America as being one of the worst automobile manufacturers in the world. The joke is Fiat stands for “Fix It All the Time.” This started with the failure of the Fiat 128. It was then succeeded by the Fiat Ritmo. The Ritmo reused many of the old parts from the 128 and would have problems all the time. In the United States the Ritmo was known as the Strada because Ritmo was a brand of sanitary wipes. The Ritmo was actually even worse than the 128 in some cases. This new Fiat was one of the worst handling cars of all time due to having 65.5% of its weight distributed towards the front axle .
3. Subaru Justy
The Japanese auto company Subaru produced the Justy from 1984 to 1994. It was a subcompact model that came in either 1.0L or 1.2L straight three cylinder engines. The three cylinder engine never had enough power to get it to accelerate at an acceptable rate. In 1990, the Justy became the last car sold in the United States to be made with a carburetor.
2. Yugo GV
The Yugo GV is the American name for the Zastava Koral. Zastava was a Yugoslavian auto company that was a subsidiary of Fiat or “Fix It All the Time” as it is known in the United States. The Yugo GV was actually designed in order to replace the Fiat 144. The standard Koral came with a 0.9L engine, however the model released in the United States had a 1.1L engine. It only came in three colors: red, white, or blue. Being designed by Fiat it should not come as any surprise that the Yugo GV had engine problems. They were notorious for needing a new timing belt almost every 40,000 miles. Timing belts should not need replacement nearly that often.
1. Reliant Robin
The Reliant Robin is easily the most uncool car ever made for three major reasons. Those three reasons are each one of its wheels. Yes, the Robin only has three wheels. The reason? It allows the vehicle to be taxed as a motorcycle in the United Kingdom. The company never even attempted to sell this car in North America, and for good reason. Since its debut, the Robin has become the butt of numerous English jokes.