It can be quite a tricky task trying to figure out whether a woman likes you or wants you to go away. More often than not, a woman will give you signs as to how she really feels, but she won’t say it outright. Why do they make things so complicated? Maybe they don’t want to seem desperate (because they know that guys, whether they admit it or not, like a challenge and put more value on a woman who is harder to get). Or maybe they’re just shy.
Fortunately, there are some things that a woman does subtly that you can learn to pick up on. Once you’ve learned these little signs, you’ll likely be able to tell whether any girl you’re talking to wants you to stay or go away. That way, you can make a move or quit wasting time (whichever is more appropriate). Here are 8 signs a woman wants you to stay, and 8 signs she just wants you to go away and leave her alone.
16. STAY: She Never Brings Up Other Guys
Sure, you should pay attention to the things she says, but you should also pay attention to what she doesn’t say. If a girl doesn’t bring up other guys (a boyfriend, a guy she is interested in etc.) then she’s subtly letting you know she’s available. If she wanted you to know she isn’t available, you’d be hearing about her perfect (and strong) boyfriend or husband. Of course, she could ask you if you’re available (which would make it obvious that she is) but most girls wouldn’t outright ask this, in hopes of not appearing too desperate.
But, it can get tricky because some girls will bring up other guys even if she is interested in you. She’ll say that there’s some random guy that’s after her (but won’t hint that she’s committed to him or interested in him). This is her simply bragging. She wants you to believe she’s desirable.
15. GO AWAY: Her Feet Face Away From You
Many guys just pay attention to a women’s face and her words, completely ignoring her subtle body language cues. Did you ever think to look at a girl’s feet as she talks to you? Well, you should! The direction in which her feet are pointing reveals the direction in which she wants to go. Her feet are pointing towards another guy (even though she’s talking to you)? Well, looks like you’ve got yourself some competition. If her feet are pointing anywhere other than towards you, it’s not a good sign.
If she’s stiff around you, it’s also another subtle sign she wants you to go away. When a girl is interested in a guy, she’s more playful and open (unless she’s incredibly shy, but you can usually tell the difference).
14. STAY: She Runs Late, But Looks Great
It’s no secret that women like to look good (for themselves and for the men they’re interested in). But, how can you tell if a woman is making an effort to look good around you, specifically? Pay attention to the time. Is she late to the date you had planned (or to the meeting she knows you’ll be at)? Does she still look amazing (like she put in a lot of effort to look that good)? If you answered “yes” to both questions, then that girl is definitely into you. Seriously, do you think she’d bother to put on an extra coat of mascara even though she was short on time? She wouldn’t care!
When you’re with her, does she ever head to the washroom and come back with her lips covered in a fresh coat of lipstick? Again, this is a subtle sign that she’s making an effort to look good because she’s interested in you. Next time it happens, compliment the lipstick and she’ll probably be blushing like crazy.
13. GO AWAY: Her Texts Are Close-Ended
You may be thinking, “Great, this girl is replying to my texts… that must mean she’s interested.” But, not so fast, buddy. You’ve got to pay attention to what she’s saying in her responses, rather than become overly excited just because she’s responding. If you notice that most of her replies are “k” or “lol” or “sounds good” or anything else that’s close-ended and doesn’t really give much insight into her feelings then take it as a sign that she wants you to go away.
If a girl wanted to keep talking to you, she’d ask follow-up questions and she’d tailor her responses such that you can actually reply without sounding awkward or forced. And perhaps you should make a note that “k” is never a good sign (in case you didn’t already realize that).
12. STAY: She Stares At You
Ever notice that when a girl is looking at a nice pair of heels through the store window that she stares at it and there’s literally a twinkle in her eyes? Of course you have. That’s because women (and men) look at the things they like longer than they would look at things they don’t like. Seriously, this is a basic fact of psychology. Why wouldn’t she want to look at you if she likes you? The only reason would be if she is shy, but even so, you’d likely catch her watching then adorably looking away.
If she also maintains eye contact with you, then it’s a done deal. Women use their eyes to flirt—eye contact means she’s attracted and interested in you and what you have to say.
11. GO AWAY: She Shows No Respect
The most obvious sign that a girl wants you to go away is her literally telling you to go away. But, there are other things she can say to you that basically translate to “go away.” If a girl isn’t showing you respect, she definitely doesn’t want you around (if you’ve been in a relationship with her for years, this may just be her way of acting out to get more attention or to get what she wants, although it still isn’t right). If you just met a girl and she’s saying things like “shut up,” calling you names, rolling her eyes when you talk etc., just go away. Seriously, she doesn’t want you anywhere near her.
10. STAY: She Asks About Your Interests
If a girl even bothers to make an effort to get to know about your interests, you can take it as a sign that she wants you around. You can usually tell if someone is asking you questions just to be polite. If she asks what activities you like and seems to show interest in any particular one (by raising even more questions about it, or revealing that she’s always wanted to try it), it may be her way of hinting that she wants you to invite her to do it together. If a girl didn’t care about you, she wouldn’t bother getting to know you. Asking about your hobbies and likes or dislikes means she’s curious, really wants to get to know you on a deeper level and is interested in spending more time with you.
9. GO AWAY: She Uses Her Phone A Ton
If you’re talking to a girl and you feel like you have to compete with her cell phone for her attention, it’s not a good sign. Are you really that boring that she’d rather scroll through the same Instagram photos over and over again than listen to you? Probably (well, to her, at least). Most women (and people, in general) will hide behind their phone to avoid others or to avoid being bored out of their minds. So, if her face is constantly buried in her phone when you’re around or when you’re talking to her, she probably just wants you to take the hint and leave.
8. STAY: She Touches You
Have you ever noticed a girl placing her hand on your shoulder when she’s showing sympathy or laughing at something you said? Does she touch your arm when talking to you? Does she often “accidentally” brush up against you? Does she find reasons to touch your face or your hair (“Hey, is that hair gel? I’ve always wondered how it feels!”). Pay attention next time you’re around her. If she does any (or all) of the above, chances are that she’s interested and wants you to stay.
Think about it—girls are very picky about who gets into their personal space. Anywhere within 18 inches of their body is reserved for people they are intimate with (or want to be intimate with). She wouldn’t touch you or go anywhere near you willingly, unless she really wants to create a bond. And touching definitely creates a bond (thanks to the hormone, oxytocin).
7. GO AWAY: She Has Many Excuses
This shouldn’t be considered a subtle sign, but it is, because many guys will believe a woman’s excuses and not think much of them. If a woman can’t meet up this Friday, that’s fine. It could have just been short notice and maybe she had other plans. But, if she can’t meet up the next Friday or Saturday and seems to be booked fully for the next five months, she’s just making excuses. No one, we repeat, no one is that busy. Even if she has kids, a full-time day job, a part-time work-from-home job and yoga classes every week, she can still invite you over to spend some time with her (or ask you to join her in one of her classes). There’s just no way that she can spare a minute for a guy she’s not interested in. Of course, she’s likely just throwing all these excuses your way in hopes that you’ll give up and leave her alone.
6. STAY: She Laughs Often
It’s not a completely subtle sign, but it’s one that may be overlooked. If a girl laughs at everything you say (funny or not), it means she enjoys your company and wants you to stay. She wants you to feel wanted. We mean, who doesn’t like when their jokes are appreciated?
If she’s smiling at you constantly, it means the same thing. Research on smiling shows that we smile to show others we are submissive to them and non-threatening (i.e. we won’t slap them if they come near us). And you should note the signs of a fake (or nervous) smile vs. a genuine smile. If the lines around her eyes are noticeable and you notice the sparkle in her eye, the smile is definitely a real one.
5. GO AWAY: She Flinches At Your Touch
If you’ve been talking to a girl for a while, you’d probably want to kick things up a notch and get into her personal space. So, you start off slowly, by placing your hand on her shoulder, either to comfort her or to express that you think she’s hilarious. Or, you place her hair behind her ear, like you’ve seen in those movies your sister watches all day. Most girls wouldn’t mind either of these actions, especially if they’re into you. They would blush or let you know they’re okay by getting into your personal space, too.
But, what if a girl flinches when you touch her? Maybe you startled her… or maybe she wants you to leave her alone.
4. STAY: She Wants To Be Alone With You
If she accepts your offer to give her a ride home (and she knows it’ll only be the two of you in the car) or if she asks you to come over to “fix her leaky pipe,” she’s clearly not resisting to being alone with you—and that’s a good thing. This means she’s comfortable around you and probably wants to get to know you more. She’s also finding reasons to spend even more time with you, so of course she doesn’t want you to leave! Remember, she could have gotten a ride from anyone else (or called a cab) and she could’ve asked her dad to fix her pipes, but she chose you instead.
This is a very useful sign, because most women show it without realizing it. Even if you approached her when she was alone and she continued to stay, it shows she’s interested. Even the most frigid of women can’t control this. They might act cold towards you and you’d think she isn’t interested, but ask yourself why she’s still there if she’s so opposed to you.
3. GO AWAY: She Takes Days To Respond
You text a girl and she doesn’t respond right away. Maybe she’s busy at work or in the shower, right? Yes, that’s possible. But, five hours go by and she still hasn’t responded. Maybe her phone is dead, right? What about if a day goes by? Did she lose her phone? No. The girl just doesn’t want to talk to you. Take it as your cue to leave and find someone else.
Most people live on their phones—they have all their social media apps on it, their schedule is right there on the home screen, their phone is their calculator, alarm clock and notepad. It’d be really foolish to think that someone didn’t see your text for two days (unless they were out of the country or the area the live in had a really bad storm). Stop overthinking it! When you’re interested in someone, you reply to them right away (or within the hour, so as not to seem too desperate).
2. STAY: She Mimics You
It’s well-known that we mimic those we admire. If you have an older sibling, you probably tried to copy them when you were younger. If you have a celebrity role model, you probably try to dress the way they do. And if there’s a guy that a girl is interested in, she’ll try to mimic him, too.
Do you find that she suddenly has an interest in the same music that you like? Does she agree constantly with your opinions? Does she mirror your actions (smiles when you smile, leans in when you lean in)? If so, she’s interested and wants you to stay. Mirroring can be difficult to notice, though. Women don’t only mirror actions; they mirror voices and intonations too. For example, she’ll lower her voice if you lower yours, if she’s interested in you.
1. GO AWAY: She’s Monotonous
Did you know that when girls talk to someone they’re interested in, their voice changes? It’s true; a girl’s pitch will become higher when talking to a male she finds attractive (and it makes sense because males are attracted to higher pitches). That’s why it’s important to pay attention not only to what she’s saying, but also to how she’s saying it. So, if you notice that the girl you’re talking to suddenly sounds like Mariah Carey, that’s a good thing.
However, if she sounds uninterested or monotonous, she most likely wants you to leave. Some people (unfortunately) just have a naturally monotonous voice, but you can usually tell when someone only sounds that way at certain times.