To be frank, I’m almost baffled at the notion that gold digging or the act of dating someone for the benefit of money and/or gifts, is considered by some to be a new age phenomenon. Quite the contrary, all throughout history a variety of women (and of course some men) of all ages and hailing from all backgrounds have dated and even married men based solely on their ability to provide financially. In fact, studies have shown that it is essentially natural for women to select their partners based on their ability to provide given that men are viewed as the providers and women as the nurturers in nature as well as society.
Nevertheless, there is a huge difference between wanting to ensure your future offsprings are taken care of and making sure you never have to work for anything for the rest of your life. In the case of the latter, gold diggers are people who date, commit to, and even marry people based solely on their ability to provide financially. However, they are also typically not very forthcoming about this fact. In fact, they are typically seasoned in the ability to act interested and to pretend to be genuinely concerned with a mate’s well-being as a means of securing more money and resources for themselves. That said, are you dating a gold digger? Well, there may not be a way to know for sure, but the following is an overview of 8 signs that the woman you love is just digging for gold. For good measure, we’ve also added 7 signs that the woman you’re dating is truly a rider.
8. She Only Shops Designer
While enjoying the finer things in life is not necessarily an indication of gold-diggerism, it certainly doesn’t help. Indeed, it is not the fact that they like or even prefer nice things that presents the problem, it’s the fact that she likely demands it. For instance, if you have the type of woman who won’t even sleep in certain brands, can’t be caught dead in non-Pink workout clothes (or whatever the higher-end equivalent may be), loudly exclaims when gifts aren’t up to her standards, etc. she just might be a gold digger. This is especially true if she also either doesn’t work or hardly ever pays for her own clothes. This means that she not only expects the finer things out of life at all times, but she also expects for you to pay for them; the epitome of digging for gold. Unfortunately, she probably also looks great in them, so you’re too distracted watching her go to actually ask her to leave…
7. Gold Digger: You Make A Lot Of Money And Take “Care” Of Your Women
The next trait actually has little to do with the woman at all. Many men don’t realize the role they play in attracting gold diggers into their lives. However, a woman can only use you for your money if you allow it. Are you the type of man who buys super lavish gifts and makes it a point to make sure your significant other feels financially secure and spoiled? If so, odds are that you have likely dated many gold diggers throughout your lifetime. We are what we attract. You may not realize it, but by using money as a means of attracting women, you are essentially giving them the green light to use you for it. In other words, the same way no one bats an eyelash when a scantily clad woman gets taken advantage of (though they certainly should!) the same should be said for men who flash large amounts of cash and spend lots of money on women. This doesn’t mean that no woman will ever appreciate such things. However, by making your financial status a focal point, you are a sitting duck for women who are on the prowl looking for a well-to-do man to take care of them.
6. All Her Future Plans Involve Finances… Yours
It’s cool to plan a future with someone you care about, but are you sure you’re even in the picture?! Seriously, there’s a huge difference between being told something like, “I can’t wait to get married and have babies” and “I can’t wait until you take me to Paris”. This is not to say that your girlfriend or wife can never want you to do nice things for her. However, if she’s the type to demand a certain suite in a hotel or seems to expect you to essentially love beyond your means to please her, she may be a gold digger. To be clear, pretty much all women like nice things, but many of us will trade in those things for the chance at true love and a partner you feel you can go the distance with. If you worry that she may dump you because your Valentine’s Day gift isn’t expensive enough, it’s likely because she is digging for gold.
5. She’s A Total Primadonna
In addition to that, your girlfriend may be a total diva in situations that don’t call for such things. Actions such as inappropriately sporting stilettos, wearing clothes far too dressy for the occasion, never ever appearing before anyone without makeup, or even taking hours to get ready to do the simplest things can all be an indication that you’re dating a gold digger. This is not to say that women who enjoy the spotlight are innately gold-diggerish. However, there does seem to be a correlation between women who are gold diggers and those who feel the need to always keep up appearances. Overall, unless she’s in the entertainment industry or has some other reason for always leaving the house looking like a Hollywood starlet, constantly obsessing over her appearance and how people view her puts her in the realm of gold diggers as she will likely expect you to do or buy certain things only because she fears what people will say if you don’t.
4. She Is Very Comfortable Letting You Foot The Bill
Moreover, although it is not uncommon for men to pay for dates and other activities when trying to woo a woman, is this the only way you can prove you are worthy of her time? In other words, does she seem to assume that each and every interaction you have should involve you spending a relatively large sum of cash? Is she cool with just kicking it on the couch occasionally, or do you have to roll out the red carpet each and every time you go out? To be clear, some women (and even some men) are just old fashioned and believe that a man pursuing a woman is the right way to do things. However, if you can’t even seem to get a minute of her time unless you’re prepared to buy it, odds are, she isn’t really as interested in getting to know you as she is in getting to know your wallet.
3. She’s Ungrateful And/Or Entitled
In keeping with that notion, she is likely also a ridiculous brat whenever she doesn’t get her way. For instance, if you take her out all the time and the one day you are busy working she either accuses you of cheating or not loving her enough, this is a good indication that you may be dating a gold digger. Gold Diggers are highly manipulative. Their sole goal is to get what they want at all times and they will go great lengths to make it happen. This means, although they love spending your money, they will not be considerate (or even bright enough) not to interfere with your business. Gold Diggers often feel that you are useless without them, so why would you need a job if you aren’t spending money on them? Sound crazy? Perhaps, it is. Either way, this is how a self-interested person thinks. It’s truly all about them.
2. She “Allows” You To Cheat… For A Small Fee
Pay close attention to this one, fellas, or it just might go over your heads. If you are in a relationship in which you seem to be stuck in a cycle of cheating, getting caught, and making it up to her with lavish gifts, guess what? She may just be a gold digger. I know, it sucks to realize that you may not truly be in control. However, this is often the case when you are in a relationship with a gold digger. To be clear, most women prefer not to get cheated on. However, it is often the game of a gold digger to get with a man who clearly has issues with infidelity. They will then start arguments over every woman they see you have any contact with, search through your phone, etc. all in hopes that they will catch the smoking gun they’re looking for. However, the telltale sign of a gold digger is that once they uncover the evidence, they will simply demand that you buy them a gift to make up for it, likely withhold sex for a time, then continue on like nothing happened… until the next time. The relationship often continues on like this for quite some time because rather than realizing he is being used, most men actually feel like they’re getting away with something and “lucky to have her” when it’s usually the other way around. To clarify, many women forgive their mates for cheating in this society. However, if the only way to make up is with money or gifts, she just might be a gold digger.
1. She Uses Her Body As A Reward Or Weapon
Lastly, one of the top ways to tell you’re dating a gold digger is that she uses sex as a reward or weapon. To be clear, yes, many women have taken to using these methods anyhow. However, in the case of a gold digger, this is her main and often the only method of negotiation. Odds are, she is very pretty but doesn’t have much else to offer you. So rather than allowing you to come to that realization and move on, she keeps you distracted with sex games. On the one hand, this works out great when you are spoiling her as you likely get it as much as (and sometimes anywhere) you want. On the flip side, if she is not happy with you, she likely won’t let you touch her at all. You may not even have done anything wrong, but if she hasn’t gotten a gift in a while, she will start some drama to create a reason for you to have to make up with her.
7. Rider: She Doesn’t Care How Much You Make
One of the top ways you can tell you’re with a good woman is that she doesn’t care how much money you make. This is not to say she’s OK with you being an all-out bum. However, if you temporarily lose your job, make less than her, have to take some time off due to illness, want to go back to school, or anything else that can negatively impact your finances, she will not bat an eyelash with regards to standing by you. She will not demand that you become the top sales rep at your company, but she would be totally happy for you if you did. In short, although money plays a role in every relationship, the rider does not let such things dictate how they treat you or where your relationship is headed. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that these women don’t like to be spoiled on occasion as well.
6. She Doesn’t Mind Paying Her Way
In addition to that, a true rider doesn’t mind paying her way… at least sometimes. As aforementioned, many men and women believe that men should pay for things just as a means of courting or wooing a woman. However, in the case of the rider, if you are running a little low on funds here and there, she will not hold it against you. In fact, she may even insist that she be allowed to pay sometimes or surprise you by taking you out and treating you special for a night. The point is, although she realizes her power as a woman, she also realizes that relationships work best when these actions are reciprocated. Therefore, you will never have to worry about her purchasing the most expensive item on the menu without having any money in her bag. She will also often do things such as offer to pay the tip or maybe even split the bill. In this age, what more could you ask for?!
5. She Is Career/Goal Oriented
Moreover, another sign that she’s a rider is that she has a genuine, unique set of goals that involve helping both herself and others. In other words, although plotting to be America’s next top Instagram model is certainly an ambitious undertaking. However, unless she will be using some of the proceeds from her new-found fame to benefit others, she doesn’t qualify. Overall, a true rider will not only be ambitious in some regards, but she will also be very passionate about her causes and helping others. No matter if she wants to save the animals or feed needy children, good women are often driven by an innate sense of purpose which translates into everything they do, including their relationships. She will not only have huge goals, but she will also include you in them as much as possible.
4. She Is Supportive Of Your Goals
Finding someone who supports you through thick and thin is hard to find. Nevertheless, that is exactly what a rider does. She won’t down you because you secretly dream of being a rapper or clown you because you have ambitions of being the next Chef Ramsey. In fact, she will likely go great lengths to help you achieve these things. One of the best things about being with a true rider is that she only wants the best for the both of you. This means that no matter how low or high you aim, she will likely be by your side. Of course, this is within reason. She may not sit idly by while you become the world’s next top homeless person or condone you quitting your job in favor of a cocaine binge, but other than that, she’s typically on board.
3. She Doesn’t Fight Dirty
This one is major. Many people discount the role that knowing how to argue plays in a healthy relationship. No matter how compatible you are or how well you get along, you will argue and disagree. And honestly, in many relationships, occasional spats occur much more frequent than one would hope. Either way, it is not the fact that you argue that is the issue, it’s how you argue that can cause some problems. For instance, if she is the type to make a scene, break things, use violence, or anything of that nature, she just might be a gold digger. In addition to that, if her go-to method of winning an argument involves long stints of “the silent treatment” (not that you mind it so much) and things of that nature, this is also a bad sign. On the whole, a good woman will want to resolve any conflicts that arise as quickly and easily as possible. If it seems like your woman enjoys arguing, it’s likely because she’s using this as a method of manipulation. You can’t really take the time to ponder on her true character when you’re too busy defending your own.
2. She Wants A Family
In this day and age, it seems that people want everything besides an actual family unit. For instance, many want to have kids but never wish to be married. Others wish to be married but never want to have kids. I am not saying these people are bad people, however, you have to listen to what she is telling you as well as what she isn’t. On the one hand, if she says she wants to have kids but not get married, maybe she just doesn’t believe in traditional marriage. On the flip side, it could just be that she doesn’t believe it will last and sees no reason to get the courts involved. Likewise, if she says she wants to get married but never have children, it could be because all of her goals with you involve being carefree and having fun and she either doesn’t want that level of responsibility ever, or she just doesn’t want it with regards to your relationship.
1. You Trust Her
Last but not least, many people discount the role that your own gut instincts play in a relationship. Nevertheless, your instincts should never be ignored. Feelings such as love, infatuation, attraction, etc. are all fleeting. However, trust is something that tends to endure. If you feel you can trust her, you just might be right. Moreover, if you are not the type to trust every woman you date, and you feel you have finally found someone who you believe is trustworthy, it is likely a great sign. Although men aren’t known for having the best intuition, we all have an innate ability to sense when someone means us harm and when they don’t. Although it could ultimately mean you are better off as friends than lovers, if you have a woman in your life who you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to and never worry about them getting out, she is certainly a rider.