Since the dawn of time, human beings have been fascinated by fantastical places where people could see odd creatures that are not native to the real world. Back in the Middle Ages, older humans used to tell stories about mythical creatures that defied the realm of possibility and places very different from our world that could harbor such creatures. These days, we pick up books, watch movies, and play video games, hoping to catch a glimpse of creatures like that. Little did we know that there is one place where you can find fantastical beasts or at least a barrage of creatures that you never thought existed in this world. That place is Walmart.
You don’t need to hope that every time you open a wardrobe’s door, you’ll finally get your chance to go to Narnia in order to see something amazing that you thought would be impossible to see on Earth. You just have to go to your local Walmart, sit down in some aisle, and wait for it to happen. Walmart is a place unlike any other. Every time you walk through those sliding doors, you’re not walking into an ordinary store; you are walking into a new dimension. The things that happen at Walmart do not happen anywhere else. Just go to Target and see if you can experience anything like the memes we are about to show you.
So sit back and relax because after reading this piece, you will want to take your Pokedex along the next time you make a Walmart trip.
18. You Need A Better Home, Bro
Walmart is known for having an impressive cast of characters that are always there to amaze any newcomer whether they like it or not. However, to some people, Walmart is not just something you see. It is something that you experience and something that can change you. This is exactly what happened to this poor fella. Anyone who went to college at some point experienced being intoxicated and having one of their friends suddenly decide that it would be a good time to take a trip to Walmart.
Unlike places like McDonald’s where you just go to grab a bite to eat and then leave, Walmart is a spot where some people like to hang out. There is almost always too much to look at, and it is nearly impossible to leave the store without buying anything. So, do you think it would be much of a stretch to see some drunk guy walk into a Walmart, jump onto one of the couches, and claim that this is his new house?
17. Just Another Tuesday At Walmart
Since we’re on the subject of making Walmart your new home, this might be a good spot to talk about a couple that took that entire idea to a new level.
We know how much being inside a Walmart can change a person. Now, imagine if you actually lived in an attic above a Walmart. It is almost like imagining a scientific experiment that the Russians would come up with during a new Cold War. They would be hoping to install sleeper agents to live inside Walmarts just waiting for the right time to attack. Unfortunately, the reality of what would happen is exactly what you see in the picture. It looks like these people have been awake for at least the entire two years that they had been living inside that Walmart. And might we add that cooking meth on a hot plate might have just been one of the least worrisome things they probably did inside that Walmart?
Words are not even enough to describe this picture. Can you even come up with an idea of what to say about what might be wrong here? Perhaps it’s the fact that a grown woman is wearing what we can only assume is a children’s costume of SpongeBob SquarePants. Maybe it’s the fact that she thought it would be okay to leave her home wearing that. Or, we could go one step further and claim that the real problem here is not that she was wearing that costume (or maybe it’s a dress) inside Walmart but the fact that she had the sharp sense to wear yellow sandals to match her outfit. That was just golden. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous you look. As long as your clothes match your shoes, you can go to Walmart, and no questions will be asked.
15. A Piggyback That Would Kill You
The biggest fuel for Walmart memes on the Internet that does not involve people’s outfits is the trend of people making fun of the poor men and women who go around Walmart driving those little electric carts. A word to the wise, we’re not making fun of these people because they might be a little bit overweight and getting onto one of those carts helps them get around the aisles faster. We are making fun of them because at some point, the human race needs to know that it has to stop.
There is nothing wrong with driving one of those carts on your own if you need to do it, but catching a ride on one of your friend’s cart? Come on. You can do better than that. Either way, if things keep going like this inside Walmart, they might indeed need to make a carpool lane before we start getting traffic jams.
14. The Greatest Invention Ever
We have to give credit where it’s due. The good folks who entertain us at Walmart with their amazing existence also have other qualities. A major one of those qualities and one that could change our world, is their ability to innovate. No, we’re not talking about simple scientific innovations like space travel and renewable energy. We are talking about things that are way more important. Because, think about it, the human quests for space exploration and clean energy are relatively new. We can almost guarantee that before our ancestors ever dreamed about biofuels and spaceships, one caveman thought about human mutations at some point, and one of those mutations has to do with him wondering what it would look like if a cave woman had breasts on her back.
13. The Hero We Deserve
Meet Shane, arguably the most famous Walmart employee of all time. He is one of those Internet celebrities who no one really knows is real or not. But 99 percent of the people who hear about his antics hope that Shane is a real person and that someday, he will run for office somewhere.
Supposedly, Shane is from Gary, Indiana, and he works at a Walmart deli. The most interesting part of his job, however, has nothing to do with the sandwiches he probably puts together. Shane became famous on the Internet because of the countless messages that the Walmart management sent him, asking the hilarious employee to quit doing whatever comical mischief he was up to this time.
This is one of the few times where we have to agree with management. Shopping for meat at Walmart is already an iffy topic for many people. Imagine what would happen to these poor folks if they walked up to the food aisle and started finding samples labeled as “mystery meats.”
12. Brutally Honest
Here is yet another trait of Walmart. A lot of stores–not only in the United States and Canada, but all over the world–have the bad habit of overplaying their products. What we mean by that is even though the stores know that a product is at best subpar, they will advertise it as if it was made out of diamonds. That is just part of the business of advertisement. What really matters for them at the end of the day is to sell more stuff.
Walmart, on the other hand, has apparently reached a point where they sell so much stuff that they just don’t bother to lie to their customers anymore. Take this particular price tag as an example. The first thing we have to agree with is that if you are buying a sweater for five bucks, the odds are pretty high that it’s not the most beautiful sweater your friends will ever see. But, for the store to put a price tag naming it “ugly sweater” is one hell of a boss move.
11. The Walmart Kind Of Thieves
In most days, if not in every day, we occasionally run into a new story or a Facebook post that will make us stop and say “WTF!” That is just part of life in this digital age that we live in. But, don’t be mistaken. These things have always happened. The difference is that before the Internet, we have usually never heard of these WTF stories when they happened away from the communities we live in. With that in mind, there is an interesting common denominator you will find in a lot of funny new stories, and that is Walmart.
Most stores have crazy stories about people who try to steal stuff and horrible things happen, burglaries gone wrong, or any other kind of ridiculousness. But when you read the headline “Cookie dough can explodes in woman’s v*gina during shoplifting incident,” what is the first store that comes to your mind? Yeah, we all thought the same thing when we read the headline.
10. Funny Or Sad?
Should we laugh or should we cry? This is one of those instances in which that little dark side of your heart really wants you to laugh your a*s off, while the human and compassionate side of your heart just wants to cry and feel sad for this person. We are 100 percent against body shaming and speaking ill of other people, but we can’t help but admit that the little dark side of our hearts was tingling and itching for us to show you guys this picture. Be honest with yourself, could you imagine seeing someone like this in any place other than Walmart?
We have talked about the little electric Walmart carts and how people overuse them, but this is one of those times where it seems like the little cart was the one who needed some help. Ouch, sorry about that one. It just seems like none of us are immune to the Walmart effect.
9. Fried Chicken Warranty
Guess who’s back for a little more partying? Yes, it’s our buddy Shane. And this time, he decided to be a good friend to the people who enjoy eating fried chicken. What would your reaction be if you were about to pay for your items, and the cashier who was scanning them for the prices suddenly stopped after scanning the packet of fried chicken–the one you couldn’t wait to eat during dinner while watching an episode of Game of Thrones that you missed–and that cashier asked you, “Sir (or ma’am), would you like an extended warranty for your fried chicken?” LOL.
We would just stop and stare at him before starting to roll on the floor laughing. Seriously, is there a better Walmart character than Shane? Geez! Now we’re just wondering how much we would have to pay for the fried chicken extended warranty. But leave it to Walmart management to ruin a perfectly good joke.
8. Slurpees Over Babies Any Day
Some people just shouldn’t have children. And as destiny seems to have it, most of those people are avid Walmart customers. There are so many individuals in the wrong on this image that we don’t even know where to start. First (and obviously) is the fact that the woman decided to just leave her baby on the floor in order to get a Slurpee. If that doesn’t tell you that she has her priorities straight–which only means that her child wasn’t even a part of those priorities–we don’t know what would. Second, we think that baby is actually a doll, which would make things a little bit easier to understand, but it would completely ruin the joke. So let’s just not even consider that theory.
By now, some of you might’ve stopped and wondered, “Wait, this is not a Walmart. This is a 7-11.” That’s an inquiry we would promptly answer with a question of our own: Do you doubt that something like this would happen if they decided to put a 7-11 inside a Walmart?
7. We Need More Cashiers
If there is one thing everyone who has been a customer at Walmart complained about at some point, it’s the fact that regardless of how many checkout lanes they have inside one of those massive stores, at any given time during the day, it seems like only 1 percent of them is working. So yeah, we have to agree with this disgruntled meme maker because whenever we go into a Walmart at 3 o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday, it seems like we have to wait in line for an eternity because there are only two or three cashiers working.
Economists would be happy to tell you that this is not a hiring economy. But come on, Walmart, you can spare some money to hire a few extra cashiers. If they had to wait less in line, people would probably even buy more of your “mystery meats.” And yes, we would like all of your cashiers to be named Shane. #ShaneForCEO
6. Walmart, Where There Are No Limits
Remember how we said that we are 100 percent against body shaming? We still stand by that statement. But even here, we need to draw a line. People need to understand that there are limits. After all, this is not Soviet Russia; or maybe it is, and we just haven’t gotten the memo yet. Nevertheless, why would anyone think it would be okay to walk into a store dressed like that? Sure, we know it is a Walmart and that there doesn’t seem to be any rules inside that wretched little world. But even in there, this lady seems out of place.
Let’s take a deep breath and calm down because there might be a silver lining to this outfit. If everyone went to Walmart dressed in a similar fashion, it would be harder for people to shoplift. But other than that stretch of an opinion, it is hard to support the use of this particular outfit anywhere other than a beach or maybe a park.
5. The Greatest Sporting Event Of All Time
Yes! 1000 times yes! If this were only a video game, it would undoubtedly be the biggest success in E3. Even if they made a real event, if NASCAR decided to make the Walmart 500 a reality, it would absolutely draw in a large crowd. To add to the perfection that is this picture, they seem to be at a trailer park. Just how perfect is this meme?
We have finally found a reason why those little electric carts exist other than to carry overweight people around the store and block the way of people trying to get stuff in the soda aisle.
Now, all we need to do is find some investors who would be willing to overlook some safety measures and allow the teams of heavy drivers with years of Walmart driving experience to slap in some Formula One engines inside these death machines. Basketball, football, baseball—all other sports would pale in comparison to the huge success that the Walmart 500 would be.
4. Grow up
Again, we have to talk about limits. It is understandable for a little kid to want to climb into his or her parents’ cart and play around with the items, because walking around the store would be too boring for them. It is even understandable for drunken college kids who steal supermarket cards to blaze through the streets on them, one person pushing and the other waiting to die inside the cart.
But for a grown a*s person to climb into one of those carts–which actually doesn’t appear to be what happened in this picture because it seems like she managed to somehow squeeze herself in through the back–that is just plain wrong. You are an adult. It is not okay to just lounge in the cart while your friends (or parents) push you around while they are shopping. Limits, people. At some point, everyone has to realize that there are limits to what we can do while living in a society. And yes, that does apply to Walmart.
3. Walmart Classy
Who knew? Apparently, it is possible to be overdressed for Walmart. And just when we were thinking that the next time around, we would go there rocking trap hoodies and bow ties. But then again, a tight dress, an alarmingly small thong, and the classic skid mark right up the middle could be considered overdressing in many places.
There is one question we would like to ask this woman, but we don’t think we will be able to. We just wanted to know if it hurts. We talk about people embracing their bodies, but this is the complete opposite of it. That looks painful, to say the least. It is almost as if someone tied a rope around her and pulled as much as they could. Seriously, you have to look out and make sure none of your organs are getting squished in.
2. The Miracle In The Alcohol Aisle
We have trash-talked Walmart enough. It’s about time that we bring to you an instance in which the most notorious store in the world was a place where a miracle happened. And, as fate would have it, that miracle occurred in the alcohol aisle.
The odds are pretty much stacked against this being a real miracle, as the reality of the situation was probably that this woman had some kind of surgery and could still get up, just not walk around too much. But at the end of the day, this is Walmart, and Walmart is where amazing things happen. From Shane’s mystery meats to a grown woman lounging in a cart as if she was a little kid to the million-dollar idea that was the Walmart 500 sponsored by NASCAR (hopefully an event that will become a reality), we have proven to you that Walmart is a place where the laws of physics and society don’t belong. So, would it be really much of a stretch to imagine that a miracle like this could happen just so this woman could reach the top shelf of the alcohol aisle which, in Walmart, is where we suppose the boxes of wine are.
1. The Deep South
It has already been established that going into a Walmart can be just short of an otherworldly experience. Sometimes, it might feel like you have picked up Rick’s portal gun from the show Rick and Morty, fired it accidentally, and ended up being transported to another dimension. But, even that ridiculous scenario might not be enough to put up a fight against the experiences some people have when they go to a Walmart in the Deep South in terms of what they might find there.
For goodness’ sake, if someone told you a joke describing this exact picture, would you, even for a second, consider the possibility that this happened in the real world? But, there we have it, folks. There are no limits to what can happen inside a Walmart. A regular person would have an easier time believing that somebody walked into Walmart and saw a zombie than believing this very picture. We have nothing else to add. Walmart won!
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