We, humans, have come a long way since the bat-her-on-the-head-and-drag-her-by-the-hair caveman courtship rituals. So here we are today – in our westernized society, where well-groomed and cock-sure single males have to work less and less to “win” their women’s hearts. Traditional courtship is no longer on the agenda. The days when a man picks up a woman and woos her by offering her material gifts and promises to love her till death do they part are gone.
Nowadays, the most widespread approach “chasing” women is showing off. Most guys believe that bragging is the magnetic force through which they can attract the girls. Some behaviors which aim at gaining a woman’s interest are, in fact, a subconscious device to boost men’s egos. Showing off your abs or recklessly spending money on designer clothing and fancy restaurants are, of course, effective moves, but not all girls fall for this. Truth is women ARE attracted to money and abs, but even a bigger truth is that they are just NOT attracted to men who brag about them. Yes, some find braggadacious suitors fun, but most women would rather go for the come-as-you-are type of guys. Modern girls just don’t have time for BS!
We hope the following 15 entries will work as an eye-opener for those guys who think that bragging about their manhood or about how much their Italian leather shoes cost will get them laid for sure.
15. Bragging About Your Bedroom Life
This type of talk – bragging about how many chicks you’ve banged or how many have generously offered themselves to you because you are so-o-o irresistible – goes well in the gym’s locker room or in the company of President Trump. If you talk about your ex-girlfriends or lucky lays in front of your prospective ones things probably won’t work out for you. The girl usually lets the guy talk as much as he wants about former conquests, but deep down she already knows he is just feeding his bravado. If you still think that bringing up ghosts from your amorous past is an exciting topic that will make her see in you the attractive guy many women before her have, then go ahead! But keep in mind that just as men hate being measured up against their significant other’s exes, so do women.
14. Taking Risks
Showing off your riskiest tricks with the skateboard or bragging about having no fear of driving after five beers is again a no-no in front of the ladies. It is scientifically proven that males take more risks when someone is watching. For example, male pedestrians are more likely to cross busy roads if females are watching. However, women, historically being those who make sure the children are well fed and safe, find such behavior outrageous. They don’t see a Batman or Jason Bourne in your risk-taking performances. To them, taking risks is not sexy, but rather a cause for injuries and even death. So, next time when you decide to perform a dangerous move to impress a woman, remember that she can hardly picture dating or even marrying a guy who could die any moment because of his reckless disposition.
13. Bragging About Eating At Fancy, Expensive Restaurants
Once a basic requirement for supporting our biological existence, food has now become something we have the constant urge to celebrate and photograph. “I can’t believe you’ve never dined at this place facing Central Park! That’s been my favorite spot recently. It has great ambiance and I know the chef himself. Great guy, and the food is decent. I mean, it’s OK to pay three hundred for a five-course meal, no?” You further support your experience in eating lamb salad with fregola and drinking mimosas by posting loads of pictures on Instagram and Yelp, expecting the girls to be swept off their feet. And they will be! Only by your arrogance. Our tip: When a nice lady approaches you with the question “Can you recommend any good places to eat around here?”, don’t start an endless bragging monolog. You only mention a name and suggest she joins you there if she’s free. Anything else is a thumbs-down move. And really, nobody cares how much you paid for the fancy lamb salad!
12. Bragging About Fights You’ve Been In (And Occasionally Won)
Yes, it happens that a grown man gets into a fight, whether it’s a drunken brawl in a bar, or a necessary measure to protect his own or somebody else’s honor (or life). But under no circumstances should you be bragging about beating up people. Girls are not really impressed by the fact that the karate lessons you were taking for a year have proven useful for once. Or many times, depending on your stand-up fighting history. We can’t agree more that kicking somebody’s ass, especially if they deserve it, is fun to watch, but it’s not like that for all. We don’t want to fall into the trap of social stereotyping here, but women are not as a rule big fans of Jean-Claude Van Damme and the Three Ninja movies. For women, hearing about punching out a guy’s tooth is as exciting as missing their period.
11. Stop Bragging About How Good Your Favorite Sports Team Is
Unless she is Kate Hudson who was mega passionate about NBA in How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days (2003), there is no use trying to impress her by the number of wins your team holds this season. What is more, constantly using the pronoun “we” when referring to you and your team, will make her uneasy at some point. For those who are not sports fans, the overuse of this pronoun sounds very disturbing. Women just don’t get how a grown man, an architect, a lawyer, or a truck driver, feels fulfilled when associating himself with a bunch of other guys he’s never actually met in person. If you don’t want the opposite sex to look on you unfavorably, we strongly recommend that the “we” pronoun should be avoided outside the bars after a Sunday game.
10. How High Your Tolerance For Alcohol Is
The problem we have with this one is that nowadays most girls can drink even more than you! Which, of course, can put you in an awkward position – to be beaten in your own sport is not fun at all. If this is not the case, however, all a girl will hear when you keep saying that you had ten beers and 15 tequila shots the previous weekend is, “I’d rather waste a hundred bucks on whisky and peanuts than buy you a decent meal in a restaurant.” Bragging about how much alcohol you can get down your throat doesn’t make you a hero, but it sure makes you pathetic. Your buddies may not see you in that light, but when the girl you are dating asks them how you are as a person, the only thing they can come up with will probably be, “Well, he is good at beer pong…”
9. Your Money
At some point during a conversation, the money topic will eventually come up. When a well-off guy wants to win a girl over he finds it necessary to mention his six-figure salary. On many occasions that works. However, the truth is that yes, women love money no less than men do, but they expect much more from a guy than just an impressive bank statement. You’ve certainly heard that most women and even Miss Universe herself, when asked what they look for in a man, will give you one and the same magical formula, “He must be considerate, loving, and have a sense of humor.” If you constantly brag about your money, or your car, or your clothes, then you probably don’t have anything else to offer.
8. Your Abs
For most well-built guys, having abs is like being a Jehovah’s Witness – they so much want to share the good word with the rest of world that they go around knocking on doors showing their spectacular six pack to everyone. We are sorry (but not really) to burst your bubble, but if you are over 20 and you are looking to make your love life more intense, you should start worrying less about your six pack and more about the people you communicate with. Besides, there is no scientific evidence that women are attracted ONLY to fit guys with abs. They are attracted to all sorts of men, really, and if you aim at winning over a girl who will be interested in you just for your perfect body, then you’ll end up with a shallow “Beach Barbie.” So, look for something else INSIDE yourself that you are equally confident about and then, you’ll be on the right track.
7. Whoever Said You Were “The Biggest” Probably Lied
In Western culture, women are seen as sexy if they are skinny, have a flat stomach, large breasts, and are curvy at the same time. With guys, the standards are quite lower, and still, there is one thing that has remained for decades, if not centuries and millennia – the size of the male… “member”. Studies have shown that women DO prefer a slightly larger penis. However, if you think that your member is a topic every woman enjoys on the first date, then you got the whole alpha-male thing all wrong. Here is the biggest downside of constantly bragging about your manhood: It is absolutely possible that your penis is not as huge as you think it is. What probably happened is some girl lied to you to make you feel better, “Oh baby, you are so big!”, and after this moment the delusion just stuck with you. Our advice: Keep it simple, keep it quiet, keep it intense. Girls don’t need to know the end of the movie when it hasn’t even begun yet. Nobody does, really.
6. “I Used To Be In A Band, You Know”
Kids used to make fun of you because you had a Backstreet Boys poster on your bedroom wall. But only you knew the true reason – you’d stare at the poster for hours daydreaming of how crazy girls would be about you if you were one of the boys. After all, you did have a fine head of hair, a decent collection of jeans, and some awesome moves! Eventually, you shifted to pop rock because you wanted to sing “You’re Beautiful” to someone…just like James Blunt. So you talked your folks into buying you a drum set, or a few guitar lessons. Or both. However, ten years later, you still suck at this and that’s why it’s probably high time already that you stop bragging about “being in a band”. It simply doesn’t work for women who were teenagers 10 to 15 years ago.
5. She Doesn’t (Or Shouldn’t) Care About Your Flashy Car
No two opinions about that – owning the RIGHT car can definitely help you get noticed. From here on, however, you need to try keeping a low profile. You have no idea how many women started dating guys with a Lexus while thinking they were driving a Toyota! The bottom line here is that the opposite sex doesn’t necessarily see the car itself, but the man behind the wheel. Although you may be thinking the opposite. Looking at the car someone drives is a guy thing, and only they can recognize an old eight cylinder or a Porsche, or Ferrari. So, in case you don’t want to impress a guy (and we are not judging here!), our advice is not to brag about the price of the car, but clean it, get some decent stereo, and eventually you’ll come to realize the bar isn’t as high as you thought!
4. Your Cooking Skills
Every woman on the face of the earth will admire you if you can make a crab cake from scratch. Just like Gordon Ramsey. But we doubt this can happen. Maybe in another dimension, you are a successful chef of a three-Michelin star restaurant, but in this one, you’re just an imposter pretending to know stuff about cooking while you really don’t. We can literally see the girl you’ve invited over for a homemade dinner chewing her raw chicken breast through a forced smile while her date (that’s YOU) enthusiastically promise her she’ll “taste heaven” when dessert is served. We believe that most guys brag about their cooking skills because they truly believe boiling an egg without getting second degree burns constitutes excellent cooking. Unless you think it’s absolutely impossible to screw up do not invite the woman you fancy over to dinner at your place! On the other hand, if she thinks raw chicken and noodle soup from a cup is OK, then she really is a keeper!
3. Bragging About Your (Alleged) “Talents”
Whether it is a trophy which you won in a school tennis tournament a zillion years ago, or telling jokes, or ventriloquism, most guys are likely to boast about their accomplishments. Especially in front of sexy girls. There is nothing wrong about being proud of one’s special skills. But according to a survey carried out by Lancaster University, half of the men who participated in it confessed they often claim to be talented in areas they are actually not! Psychologists say that the reason why men brag about talents originates from the traditional male and female roles. In the past, men were the ones who brought home the bacon. They still nurture the intrinsic need to boast in order to achieve success in their workplace. And, of course, to make themselves look good for the members of the opposite sex.
2. Don’t Brag About Others Being Worse Off Than You
Let’s be honest here, we all celebrate the shortcomings of the friends we once had an equal start with. When we notice that they’ve gained weight, or married harpies, or better yet, never got promoted in the lousy job they have – we can’t help but gloat. And we have no intention to judge you about taking little twisted pleasures in your life. However, when you express your spiteful joy in front of a woman with the purpose to look bigger than you actually are in her eyes, that is already pathetic. Or at least, this is what she’ll think. Other people’s misfortune does not necessarily make your own life a success. Girls will tolerate you smirking about your friends’ shortcomings for an appropriate amount of time. But what happens if they meet those people and, when getting to know them, realize it’s not them who’ve messed up, but you?
1. Saying You’re “In The Game”
The shyest guy at a girl’s party is far from the worst news! Oh no! The only thing that surpasses the nerdy guest nobody but the hostess talks to is the guy who’s acting like the coolest at the place. If you usually choose this tactic to win the attention of tipsy chicks at a party, keep in mind that you’ll be interesting to them for 10 to 15 minutes tops. After that, they will be already too drunk to tolerate your nonsense. You should NOT underestimate women’s douchebag radar because even when they are drunk they are capable of spotting a loser no matter how many drinks they’ve poured in themselves. Although some of them might actually appreciate your effort to look like a genuinely confident guy, they will never tell you what you already know in your heart. And that is – there is nothing worse than someone acting like something they are not.