To a lot of you guys out there, women seem pretty complicated. I know, there are a lot of you that get the whole thing. I am not talking to you. But the rest of you need a road map to figure out how to make your lady happy. Let me rephrase that: you need a road map to make any lady happy. Most of you could not pick up the woman you desire if your life depended on it.
It isn’t that hard once you know what type of woman you are dealing with. Each type is vastly different, but with that said, it is rather silly how easy it is to please any type of woman once you identify her. And once you do you are on easy street, whether you are looking for a one night stand, or whether you are looking for a relationship. Of course you are going to have to jump through a few hoops to do that; nothing is easy in this world. But think about it, haven’t you been jumping through hoops for a long time anyway, without getting any results? You are still spending your Saturday nights watching Netflix alone, or going to Buffalo Wild Wings with your buddies to watch the game. To heck with that. Identify what type of woman you are dealing with, and move in for the kill, and if you have a girlfriend already, then just use these identifications to keep her off your back. Here are 15 types of women and how to get lucky with them.
15. The Party Girl
All right, some of these are easier than others. The party girl is not hard to figure out, whether you are trying to hook up with her for the night, or whether you are going out with her; she is only interested in one thing, and that is getting messed up. Of course this is fun in the short term, but in the long term it gets a little tiresome being hungover all the time, and checking your wallet to make sure you are not missing a $20. There are obvious positives though, which include she is pretty darn easy to hook up with.
How to Hook Up With Her: If I have to explain this one to you, then you truly are in trouble. To hook up all you really have to do is be able to hang with her, and put up with her, longer than all the other guys. Because the last man standing wins.
14. High Maintenance
A lot of us are attracted to the high maintenance type, and why not? She always looks totally killer. Her hair is perfect, she uses “on fleek” in the correct way, she always has all of the most fashionable clothes on. The negatives are obvious though. One is that she expects you to look almost as good as she does, but never better. And also she needs a lot of attention. This is the type of woman that is going to bum out if there is another woman at the club that is hotter than her, and needs a ton of attention.
How to Hook Up With Her: To hang with the high maintenance girl, a man needs two things; to have a lot of money, and to be very complimentary. If you buy this girl expensive things and tell her she is gorgeous, you are so in.
13. The Nerd
If you are the right kind of guy, you simply can’t beat a chick that is a nerd. And by right kind of guy, I mean a guy who is also a nerd. She is going to love you just for being you, as long as you don’t mind her binging on old episodes of Dr. Who, or the fact that she has been playing World of Warcraft for the last seven hours. In fact this type of girl is really kind of a dream, as long as you like that kind of lifestyle.
How to Hook up With Her: If you meet her in a club, just start talking about things like how your PVP Assassination Rogue is the best, and how much you thought The Phantom Menace was a let down. Then when you drive her home, just slow down near Poke Stops, and you are going to spend the night for sure.
12. The Psycho
The psycho is the kind of girl that you pretend seems kind of normal at first, but the reality of the whole scene is, you pretty much knew she was nuts all along, and you went for it anyway. Why? Because you are nuts too. She will get overly attached pretty much right away, stare at you when you sleep, became really angry at you for no reason and text you angrily all night, then the next morning tell you that she loves you and offer up some mind blowing sex.
How to Hook Up With Her: You might say to yourself, umm why would I want to do that? Well, because the psycho is pretty much always amazing in bed. How to hook up with her? Just pretend you understand her and do not judge her. Yep, that is pretty much all it takes.
11. The Dullard
Now it would be easy to confuse the dullard with someone who has different interests than you do. Don’t make that mistake. A dullard is someone who is not interesting to anybody. This type usually has super low self-esteem, tends to be shy, and has no real interest in anything. This type usually does nothing but work a lot, go to a yoga class after work, then watch TV until she goes to bed. She also usually has cats. She does not like to take charge and is usually a follower.
How to Hook Up With Her: You probably have already guessed this one. If she is a dullard that likes to follow, then just be interesting and be a leader. This type usually is totally amazed that you are interested in her, probably because the truth of the matter is, you aren’t.
10. The Grumpus
We have all met this type of chick before. If you are at a club, the music is too loud and it is too crowded. If you are out to eat the food is taking too long. If you are home watching TV there is never anything on. When you ask her about work she will tell you how awful everything is there. Basically, pretty much everything stinks all of the time.
How to Hook Up With Her: Well, let’s be honest, you are not going to want to hook up with her for more than one night, because she is just totally awful. But if you do, just agree with her about how terrible the club is and offer her a ride home. While on the way home listen to her complain about her mom. Then when you get her back to her place, you might get lucky. Of course she is probably going to complain about your performance, too.
9. The Housewife
The housewife does not want to be single, not even a little bit. What she wants is a man and a home to take care of, and soon after she is going to want kids as well. This makes her much more willing to overlook your flaws, because for her the biological clock is always ticking, and every man that she may meet is a potential mate. While this is scary in the long term, in the short term, not so much.
How to Hook Up With Her: While it may seem a tad unseemly, basically you just have to pretend you feel the same way about settling down. Even if you meet her in a bar, just lay the whole “Boy the single life stinks, I can’t wait to settle down” line on her and you are in, at least until she gets to know you a bit better.
8. The Pleaser
The pleaser is going to do pretty much everything in her power to make you happy. Even the first night she meets you, she is going to want to make sure you get home safe. If you get lucky with her, the next morning she will be ironing your shirt, making you breakfast, and cleaning the trash out of your car. She also will probably attempt to please in the bedroom as well. This sounds great, right? Well, for a few weeks, then you are going to feel smothered and want to run far away.
How to Hook Up With Her: Just let her take over. If she likes you, she is going to let you know, probably by standing a foot in front of you, looking you in the eye and smiling like a maniac, and once she does she is going to try and show you how lucky you are.
7. The Stalker
We all know about stalkers, but just about all the time one is brought up, it is thought to be a male. Let me tell you, there are woman stalkers out there as well, and when you meet one it is more than a little creepy. This type basically just decides you are totally the one for her whether you like it or not, and after a date, or a roll in the hay, makes it their life’s mission to be your girl, even if you want nothing to do with her.
How to Hook Up With Her: This one is easy. If you have a stalker, and for your sake I hope that you do not, you don’t have to do much of anything to hook up with her. In fact you don’t even have to leave the house. Just look out the window right now if you want to see her.
6. The Nympho
This is basically a woman who wants to get down all the time. This one is kind of a tough one. Of course, this whole piece is about hooking up, so why would you not want to hang out with a woman who likes to do the deed all the time? Well, because it is kind of nasty, right? It is like that old expression “Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.” And yes, I know this whole thing is a total double standard, and no I do not care. This girl is easy to take home, but once you are there, you are probably going to wish you were not.
5. The Jealous Type
The jealous woman is no fun at all long term, not even a little bit. She will always be totally insecure, and will hate any other woman that you talk to; she might even be jealous of other women that are around you that you don’t talk to. She could also be jealous of your friends, your family, your job- it’s possible that she could be even jealous of your dog. The only, and I mean only, positive about this type of person is that she is easily manipulated.
How to Hook Up With Her: Well, it is pretty easy. When you talk to a jealous woman at a bar, she is probably not going to be all that interested. That is until you start talking to another woman nearby, or even better, the jealous woman’s friend. Before long she will be falling all over herself to take you home.
4. The One That Needs Attention
This one is always pretty easy to spot when you are out in the club, or anywhere else for that matter. She is always looking totally fine, always on the dance floor, always making big gestures and bringing attention toward herself. This night, and every night, is totally about her, and don’t you forget it. This type tends to be kind of fun in the short term, as long as you can handle how shallow she is.
How to Hook Up With Her: To hook up with this type, you need to have two abilities. First of all you need to give her all that attention that she seeks, and to make her feel special. Second, you also need to be able to get a lot of attention yourself, but not quite as much as she does. If you can do both of these things, you are in.
3. The Good Girl
The good girl is a lot easier to hook up with then one might think; it just takes a little time. This woman is tired of guys always trying to play her. She wants a nice guy, she does not just want to jump into bed right away, she wants someone who likes her for her, and that she might have a future with. When she is out on the town, she is open to meeting a guy, but tired of getting hit on.
How to Hook Up With Her: You have to be patient. The first time, just talk to her and make her laugh, and ask for her number. Then take her out once or twice, and be cool; again making her laugh and being flirty, but not pushy. By the third or fourth time, you are in. Here is a pro tip, nice girls want to do what everyone else wants to do. They just want to feel okay about themselves afterwards.
2. The Boss
The boss is a very particular kind of woman. She is going to want to feel like she is in charge. While you are flirting with her, she is going to want to think she is running the show, she is going to want to feel like she is the one making the decision for you to stay over, and she is even going to want to feel like the powerful one in the bedroom.
How to Hook Up With Her: This might seem hard, but it really isn’t. Let her feel like she is the boss. Who cares? You know what is going on; the reality of the situation is that she is really insecure. Let her feel like she is the one in control; when the time is right you can just flip the script, and become in control. This type of chick is almost always the one that says “Call me?” when you are leaving the next day.
1. Miss Perfect
This particular woman is excellent in the sack, is understanding of all your faults, likes to party (but not too much), doesn’t mind you going out with the guys and loves to clean. She is also smart, super funny, and totally gorgeous. She is super wealthy and always encourages you to follow your dreams, even if it means her paying most of the bills. Or you know, all of them.
How to Hook Up With Her: I would suggest either selling your soul to the devil, or attempting to find a genie in a bottle, because otherwise you are pretty much sh*t out of luck. I would shoot for one of the other 14 types of women on this list. They may not make you happy, but at least you now know how to hook up with them. You’re welcome.