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15 Tinder-Date Confessions That’ll Make You Squirm

High Life
15 Tinder-Date Confessions That’ll Make You Squirm

Dating, including the feeling of butterflies when you kiss your date for the first time, can be a fun experience. Meeting someone new can be exciting for a lot of reasons. You think about the future and what that date could mean. There’s a lot of stress that can come with a first date as well. Are you going to sleep with him or her on the first date? Is he or she going to be normal? Will he or she be a good kisser?

It’s easy to start thinking the worst about your date because you’re going out to meet a complete stranger that you met on Tinder after all. But for the most part, you usually go out, the date is fine, and you realize that dating isn’t so bad after all. Well, for some people, that’s just not the case. Some people go out on a first date and then regret leaving their house. Or maybe it isn’t dating at all; maybe it’s dating apps like Tinder that collectively get all the freaks together and send them out loose in the world. These poor people went on Tinder dates and didn’t feel the butterflies on the first date.

It’s just another case of the first dates not working out the way that you want them to. You might be surprised to hear these terrible date stories, some that involve being peed on or men with wives. Or how about the guy that wanted to be breastfed by his date? Oh, the list goes on.

15. His Date Smelled Really Bad

We’re just warning you that this one is really bad. Hopefully, no one else experiences a bad date like this one. This guy just wanted a hookup, though, and he got more than he bargained for. “I downloaded the app when I was pledging my fraternity. The brothers wanted us to just swipe right for every girl we saw and invite them to parties. I saw this decent-looking girl and just sent an extremely vulgar request for sex without really thinking about it. She surprisingly agreed and met me in my dorm the next day. She was much bigger than her pictures showed, but I just thought “f*ck it.” Worst. Decision. She had the worst-smelling vagina; it literally made me gag. To make it worse, she forced a 69 on me. I could barely breathe in that smelly bastille. The smell was sour like old milk that was dropped in sweat. After f—-g, she asked me to eat her out; I told her it’s not my thing, and she called me an a$$hole and left! I showered twice and couldn’t get the smell off of me. I had to throw away my sheets and requested for a new bed from the dorm.”

14. She Made Him Feed Her Baby

This girl was getting lucky with a random Tinder hookup while her baby was sleeping in the other room. If that wasn’t inappropriate enough, when the baby got up to eat, she made her date for the evening hold the baby. Talk about a weird situation! And the girl may have some obvious screws loose. She obviously just needed to get laid in between the feeding times for her baby. Who invites a strange guy over when they have a baby anyway? “After we did the deed, she had me hold her kid while she made formula. Talk about awkward” (Whisper). That’s the truth. This girl has no boundaries when it comes to bringing strange men into the house when she has a sleeping baby. She should’ve asked the guy to leave so that she could take care of her child properly.

13. Kissing Cousins Are a Match

It would be pretty awkward if you matched with a cousin of yours. What on earth are the two of them thinking? In the case of this guy, he claimed that his swipe was just a joke, but he sure was shocked when he got the match. “I was on tinder this weekend at my family’s 4th of July party and got my only female cousin on my screen. I clicked yes as a joke… it was a match. We never talked about that” (Thought Catalog). Yes, that would be a little weird. Hopefully, she was just doing it as a joke as well. The problem is, if they were both joking, they probably would be laughing over the moment instead of avoiding talking about it. Maybe they’ll become kissing cousins after all. Who knows what could happen in the future?

12. The Guy Who Ordered Four Drinks to Start… for Himself

Sounds like a real winner. Who goes out on a first date and orders drinks like he’s at a frat party? “Online is my preferred way to meet men, but I’ve had some truly awful dates. My worst was an American guy from Tinder. He showed up in flip-flops, ordered four rum and Cokes for himself because it was happy hour, then spent the rest of the evening telling me, in great detail, about all his past Tinder dates. Later, his colleague showed up, and all of us ended up watching football. I felt like a third wheel!” – Annabelle (HerWorldPlus) What a complete loser all around. Not only does he gets plastered, but he also invites a friend to their date and then talks about his past dates. Poor girl! This guy needs to get a clue or stay off Tinder.

11. She Went After His Credit Card Information

Tinder is probably a great place for con artists. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone got ripped off by someone on the internet. This girl, though, didn’t waste any time going after his credit card information. We’re not sure why this guy decided to bring her home. Maybe he was hoping that he was going to get lucky. Too bad she didn’t have the same idea. “She excused herself to use the restroom, caught her in the den rifling through my work and financial files looking for credit card and banking information” (TheThings). This girl has a set of balls for sure, but that might be a simple lesson to not invite a complete stranger into your home. First dates are better left to restaurants and movie theatres. That way, you don’t have to worry about being ripped off until at least the second or third date.

10. When He Asks If You Can Have Babies Soon

Now, this is something that usually happens when a girl goes on a date. Ladies have that whole biological-clock issue, and when it starts ticking, they tend to go a little crazy. But in this case, it was the man who wanted to know how soon they could start making those babies. Probably not the best first date conversation to have, but that’s just us. “The guy legitimately and seriously asked me if I would have children with him and if we could start trying soon. No. Just no” (The Things). These are the kind of guys that you need to run away from quickly. If the guy was at all serious, he should know not to ask something like that on the first date. He may have some screws loose, and hopefully, the girl asked for the check right away.

9. Scary Stripper Equaled Good S-x

We would recommend not having sex with strippers, but that’s just us. Guys seem to do this sort of thing frequently enough, though you usually end up with something weird happening to you. In the case of this guy, he had an interesting run-in with a stripper that involved meth and a boyfriend, but he did say the sex was really good, so there’s that. “My friend f*cked this stripper with half a shaved head and facial tattoos. She told him that she had been smoking meth all morning and that she had a boyfriend. We later found out that she’s also pregnant. My friend said it was the best sex he’s ever had in his entire life” (Thought Catalog). We’re not sure what she did to him, but usually, meth heads don’t look very pretty, so we’re not sure what he was thinking. He better hope that the boyfriend she has doesn’t find out about him.

8. He Tried to Pick Up the Girl at The Next Table

Some guys just have no class when it comes to taking a girl out. What kind of jerk checks out another girl while on a date? Some guys are just born losers, and we feel bad for the girl that had to date this one. “Like roulette, sometimes you strike; sometimes you meet random d*cks. I was in Tokyo for a business trip and had one free day, so I met up with a guy from Tinder. He turned out to be a weird pervert who kept steering the conversation towards my sexual fantasies. After he realized I wasn’t up for a random kinky sexual encounter, he proceeded to pick up a girl at the next table” (HerWorldPlus)! This guy sounds like a real winner, first trying to get kinky with his date and then ditching her to hang out with another girl.

7. She Begged Him to Move in Right Away

Well, this is probably where all those crazy-girl stories come from, you have to watch out for the crazy girls. “I ended up matching with a girl and talked to her for like two weeks and exchanged numbers and FB info. She was pretty, seemed really cool, and we shared a lot in common. Eventually, she said we should hang out, and I said ‘sure.’ We met up at a mall and just walked around and talked for about an hour, and I left. After I left, I knew I wasn’t going to pursue her. Over text, she seemed pretty cool, but in person, she was just…off; idk, I can’t really explain it. Anyway, within two mins of me getting back in the car, she texted me, wanting to know my real opinion on her now. Kinda weird, but whatever… she seems weird, so I just replied, saying ‘yeah, she’s cool and whatever.’ Big mistake. Over the course of the next 2 hours, I received over 80 texts, about 10 calls, and a couple VMs, all of her crying and saying I need to move in with her and her Dad because she’s suicidal and I needed to take care of her. I was blunt with her in saying ‘no’ and ‘this can’t go on anymore and stop contacting me,’ but nothing changed. I had to delete my FB profile, block her number, etc. I deleted the app after that.”

6. He Wanted Her to Breastfeed Him for Real

You know you’ve just entered crazy town when a guy you go on a first date with asks you if you want to breastfeed him. If it were us, we would probably have called the police immediately. He, for sure, has a body in his freezer somewhere. This guy went on a date and tried to tell his date that he was a baby and wanted to be breastfed. He has some psycho sexual issues for sure. “He told me that he was an adult baby and wanted me to pretend to breastfeed him. I ran for the first time in a long time” (Whisper). Talk about a shocking thing to say. We’re not surprised to hear that there’s an adult baby running around. It’s a sick situation, and we feel bad for the girl who got all dressed up for a date from hell.

5. She Killed His Toad

Some women will do just about anything for some angry make-up sex, but this girl may have gone just a little too far. “We went to dinner at a Japanese steak house and had a good time, drank some sake. She suggested we go back to my place (woo!) She follows me to my house, and we make out in my driveway for a few and start to move towards the house; I’m excited. So we are on my front porch, and she goes ‘Ewww, what’s that?’ and points to this baseball-sized toad that hangs out on my porch; it’s been there for two years Anyways, I explain he is cool. She walks over to him, looks at me, like intense eye contact and proceeded to slowly stomp on my toad. Now, at this point, I was experiencing several emotions: shock, anger, rage. I shouted at her ‘wtf, why’d you do that?’ to which she replied, ‘I wanted to make you mad so you’d f*ck me hard.’ I was speechless while I processed what I had just witnessed. I told her to get the F*ck off my property, she flips out, we yell back and forth, I sprayed her with the hose, and she finally leaves only to show up 20 min later topless on my deck in the back yard. Cops came; she cried her way out of trouble with them and left” (Thought Catalog).

4. He Continued to Swipe on Tinder During Their Date

This guy was completely disrespectful to his date when she decided that he would continue swiping right on Tinder while he was out on a date. This guy has a huge ego and needs to be put in his place. This poor woman hasn’t had much luck on Tinder; that’s for sure.”The first person I met on Tinder peed on me. The second one called me the next day and accused me of drugging him at the bar. This was especially weird because he left alone without even saying goodbye to me. The third met me for lunch and was actively swiping on Tinder matches during the meal. Ironically, I am still using Tinder” (Thought Catalog). It’s a given that if someone is on Tinder, then they’re probably talking to other people as well. But he didn’t need to continue doing it while he was on a date.

3. She Hid His Clothes

Usually, there are some warning signs of a stage-five clinger, but sometimes, it catches you by surprise. This poor guy didn’t stand a chance. “I messaged this Indian girl late one night and ended up going to her place at around 6 am. She lived on the first floor of some dorms in a college across town. We got down to business immediately and slept after. She seemed pretty cool. I woke up naked with a tight elastic band around my ankles (basically tied up my ankles). She had hidden my clothes. She insisted on spending the day together, but to make sure I didn’t run away, she didn’t tell me where my clothes were. So we’re sitting around; I’m still naked after 3 hours. She’s fully clothed now and asking me all about myself. To make things even stranger, she wrote down each of my answers to her questions. I waited until she left to use the bathroom, then I searched the entire dorm for my clothes. I found them in the refrigerator in the vegetable drawer. I got dressed SO damn quick and jumped out of the window” (Thought Catalog).

2. Showed Pics of His Wife and Kids

Well, this one seems completely bizarre. Usually, guys who cheat on their wives aren’t normally so upfront about it. But maybe he thought she would be into it. “He showed me a pic of his wife and kids. The f**kkk” (Whisper). Well, at least he was honest. But there’s nothing worse than getting excited for a date only to realize the guy isn’t exactly single. That’s just a huge disappointment all around. We feel sorry for his family and wonder what excuse he made to leave the house. Usually, guys try to hide that they’re cheating, so we’re not sure why this guy thought it would be okay to show his date pictures. It would be the last thing a girl would want to see on her date. But at least it saved her the trouble of realizing he was a douchebag later in life.

1. He Let His Twin Brother Take Her Out

Some guys just need their head examined. This guy thought it would be cool to let his twin brother use his Tinder to get dates for himself as well. This is why it’s just never a good idea to go out with a guy who has a twin. They’ll spend their lives playing jokes on you. “I’m an identical twin. My brother was visiting me at school, and I invited a girl I met on Tinder over. He doesn’t use Tinder but obviously didn’t want to be alone for the night, so I used the app to get him a girl, too. She thought he was me the entire time all the way up until she left the next morning. Right before she left, she asked my brother a question about my rugby team that he just couldn’t answer. I got some angry messages afterward” (Thought Catalog).

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