Attraction is a crazy thing in life. We can’t negotiate who we’re attracted to, nor can we always control it. Though everyone is human, it never ceases to amaze me how often we tend to be totally baffled by the opposite sex. Women often can’t figure out what men are attracted to, and men often have a hard time trying to figure out how to attract women.
A lot of things that people find attractive are just plain common sense. Things like being polite, happy, and seeing women as people rather than props, for example, go a long way if you’re attracting a girl. If you’re attracting a guy, looking good matters even more. Even things like being educated and somewhat fit can make a massive difference in how many dates you pull.
However, not everything is totally obvious – and that’s actually why there have been tons of scientific studies about what attracts men to women, and what makes women attracted to men. And, this has been a field of study that has been getting increasingly popular over decades…with some results actually being useful if you are single and looking to mingle.
The bottom line is that there are a lot of factors in attraction, and some of them have actually been quantifiably measured by people in lab coats. Some of these factors can be changed, while others can’t. For better or for worse, scientists have found that the following things can make a massive difference in whether or not a girl is into you.
15. A Wedding Ring
Studies have shown that women are more likely to want to date a guy who already is taken, primarily because the fact that he’s been selected by another girl often signals that he’s got some good qualities that women may want access to. This phenomenon of being attracted to mates already selected by others isn’t just a human thing – it also happens with guppies.
That’s why it’s often called “the Guppy Effect.” Among humans, it’s often just called mate poaching, and it’s very real. One study showed that a group of women were given a computer simulated guy who was supposedly unattached. Around 56% said they’d pursue him. When they were told he was attached, that number bounced up to 90%. So, if you want to have better success attracting women, wear a wedding ring.
14. A Sense Of Humor
Got a sharp wit and an even sharper sense of humor? Well, we’ll cut to the chase on this one. That often-repeated line that women love a man who can make them laugh is very, very true. Researchers at the University of Kansas recently found an interesting phenomenon that happens when two strangers meet. According to him, the more times a man tries to be funny and a woman laughs, the more likely it is that she’ll want to date him.
The study went on to suggest that the reason why guys try to be funny around girls is because they might be trying to get her to show her cards. A similar study also showed that women would be more likely to call someone intelligent and extroverted if he was able to elicit a giggle out of her. Whoever said dating isn’t a laughing matter was totally wrong.
Yes, it’s true. I can’t lie, nor can I mince words. Women, on a whole, tend to want men who are taller than they are. Only 4% of all women would be okay to be in a relationship where the girl is taller than the guy.
According to surveys and studies, there are several reasons why this is the case. One of the most commonly cited reasons is because women tend to conflate height with strength and security. This actually is true for both genders, and is why many tall men are often considered to be “natural leaders.” Others just say that it’s due to masculinity, social roles, or even just something they can’t quite put into words.
12. Heavy Stubble And/Or Beards
Hipsters and bikers rejoice! Multiple studies have shown that women are statistically more likely to be attracted to men who have beards, and rated “heavy stubble” as the most attractive kind of beard out there. So, if you rock Wolverine-style stubble, you probably have gotten quite a few girls checking you out.
If you have a full beard, there’s also some equally good news out there for you to celebrate. Full bearded men are seen as healthier and also better father figures than men who are clean shaven or stubbled. The same study also showed that the more beard you have, the more masculine you’ll be perceived to be.
11. A Guitar
If you’re one of those guys who used to play acoustic guitar in college, this probably will not surprise you in the least bit. A study that was published in The Psychology Of Music showed that women are more than three times more likely to want to give their number to a guy holding a guitar than a guy who’s holding a gym bag.
The same study tried to see how girls would react to men messaging them on Facebook, and the results were also similar. 28% of girls responded to the guy with the guitar, while only 10% responded to the guy who was empty-handed in his profile pic. The reason why this is might have something to do with how women perceive musicians. Musicians are often seen as more intelligent, emotional, and passionate.
10. Avoiding Netspeak
Men who are using the Internet to get dates need to learn how to spell things correctly and practice good grammar. Why? Women find intellect to be a turn on, and netspeak like “ur” and “wat” portray men as dumber than they really are. Moreover, it’s also backed by numbers in a study done by OKcupid.
The dating site recently ran algorithms on the messages that got replies. What they found out was that the average person will have 37% of their messages replied to. If you use netspeak, that number can shrink down as low as 10%. The only exceptions to this rule were “lol” and “haha,” which actually improved chances of a reply.
You remember those crazy Axe deodorant commercials from back in the day? According to one study done in the UK, there may be a whiff of truth to those commercials. Women who smelled the clothes of men who wore Lynx deodorant (an Axe-like brand) rated the men as more attractive overall – even when they didn’t actually come face-to-face with the men and were just presented videos of them.
But, it might not actually be something contained in the deodorant that gets women into you. Men also reported a slight boost in confidence in the following days after the experiment. That confidence boost may have been what made the big difference in how women viewed them. However, there’s also another caveat to this study: women stopped being more interested in men once the men actually spoke in the videos.
8. Wearing Red
For centuries, red has been a color that has been associated with sex, love, and masculinity. No wonder women love a man who wears red! A study was conducted that involved women rating photos of men in front of black backgrounds and red backgrounds. The men’s photos were rated on a hotness scale of 1 to 10. Men pictured with a red background were rated as a full point hotter than men who had no red in the picture.
Another experiment had 55 women look at a man wearing a green shirt, and a man wearing a red shirt. Much like with the first study, the women chose the guy in red over the guy in green way more often. There’s multiple reasons why this could be, but most psychologists say that we may just view the color red as a status symbol.
Aretha Franklin isn’t the only one who wants a little respect when she comes home from work. Contrary to what “Nice” Guys tend to believe, girls really don’t want to be with a guy who treats them like dirt. In a survey cited by ABC News, a whopping 84% of girls had listed their “must-have” quality in a man as treating women with respect.
What’s interesting about this is that only 57% of guys said that they prioritized a woman who treated them with respect in the exact same survey. Moreover, while 40% of guys said that they wanted a girl who looked physically attractive as a “must have,” physically attractive features weren’t even mentioned among women as a “must” quality in a mate. Respect trumps looks – at least if you’re trying to attract women.
6. Body Odors That Are Different Than Hers
Humans are naturally wired to be less attracted to people who may be close relatives to them, and one of the most common “signals” that bodies can send out is their natural scent. Your natural scent is influenced by a set of genes called the Major Histocompatibility Complex, or MHC. In one study done by researchers in Brazil, 29 men were told to wear patches that collected their sweat for 5 days.
Women were then given the patches and told to smell them. Researchers then asked them to rank the patches in terms of how “sexy” they smelled. What ended up happening is that women who smelled patches from men who had MHCs similar to their own recoiled in disgust. Meanwhile, women who sniffed up guys who had unusual or exotic MHCs ended up getting a little turned on.
The study also revealed that women who married guys with similar MHCs were more likely to fantasize about other men when they’re ovulating. Women in these marriages also were way more likely to cheat. Sadly, your MHC makeup isn’t something that you can change.
5. A High Shoulder To Hip Ratio
This trait is also called a V-shaped torso by scientists, but most of us call it being broad-shouldered. When you have a high shoulder to hip ratio, your body is signaling that you have high testosterone and that you also happen to be healthy. Men with V-shaped torsos typically have more girlfriends and kids than their more slender-shouldered bros.
Interestingly, how broad-shouldered and muscular men need to be is often overestimated by guys. A study showed that that vast majority of women would prefer a body type like the men featured in Cosmo over the hyper-juiced guys of Men’s Health. Moreover, the same set of studies also showed that men are now way more likely to beat themselves up over not being “swole” enough to get a girl interested than they would have been in past years.
4. A Deep Voice
There’s a reason why Barry White’s baritone crooning is associated with babymaking, and it’s because women love deep voices. For the most part, people didn’t know why until a study from University College London. Their research revealed that women pick guys with deeper voices because they perceive it to mean that the guy’s larger and stronger.
Another study also showed that men who have deeper voices also tend to have much higher levels of testosterone than their squeaky-voiced counterparts. If you haven’t guessed from a number of the other entries in this article, having high amounts of T will skew things in your favor if you’re a man on the prowl. High testosterone is something that women are genetically wired to seek out in a man because it means that he’s more likely to be able to give her healthier babies.
You know that old suggestion of trying to go for a walk with Fido when you’re trying to meet a nice girl? According to one small study, this may actually be true. The experiment had men try to pick up girls while walking a puppy, then try the same endeavor without ol’ Fido by their sides. What the researchers found out was that women were way more likely to talk to the guys who had dogs than the guys who were just all by their lonesome.
There could be multiple reasons for this, including the fact that the dog may actually be a good reason to approach someone. But, let’s just be real here. Dogs are cute, and girls love cute, fuzzy animals…as well as men who tend to be nurturing towards them.
2. The Right Questions
Ever meet someone who you just meshed with on an uncanny level? That instant connection actually can be mimicked, according to Arthur Aaron, a psychologist at SUNY Stony Brook. Through years of research, he had created a series of 36 questions that would make you feel a connection to the person who you talked to that would feel stronger than a lifelong friendship in around 30% of all study participants.
You’re probably wondering what some of the questions are. Some of the questions he tells people to ask include “What does friendship mean to you?” and “When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?” Obviously, these need to be asked in the right settings and in the right order – but the information is out there if you so want to use it.
Doing good things just because they’re the right thing to do really does pay off. The Journal Of Social Psychology recently published a study that showed that real altruism tends to be a trait that is “significantly preferred” among women who were looking for long term spouses. Things such as donating to charity, helping others in need, and even just giving people a pep talk all would signal altruism for a potential mate.
Men also were found to be more attracted to women who displayed signs of altruism rather than those who decided to play “Mean Girls” among others. However, the levels of attraction men experienced were nowhere near as high as they were for women. That being said, this study actually shows some quantifiable proof that nice guys (and girls) really don’t finish last after all.