One of the hardest things about this world is that we, as human beings, have to be able to come together and understand each other, while never fully being able to know what’s going on inside somebody else’s head. Telepathy is not something we have, so we have to rely on empathy instead, hoping that our understanding of the human race and the world around us is enough to get us through day-to-day life. This reaches a whole new level of difficulty when applied to romantic partnerships, as a whole new level of emotion becomes attached to the situation.
This is why so many people feel they can use secrets and manipulative behavior to twist people around their little fingers when it concerns romance and sex. However, it can also be pretty standard for a loving couple to have at least some secrets that they keep from each other. We decided to throw together a list of the things that husbands often lie to their wives about, whether they’ll admit it or not.
Ready to see what your husband is lying to you about? Think your marriage — or future marriage — can take that strain?! Well, we’re about to find out!
15. They’re Not As Secure As You Think
It’s a generally held belief that the Western world spends a lot of its time making women feel insecure about themselves so that they’ll buy products, while men are given a much easier ride in this respect. They’re also taught from a young age, either explicitly or implicitly, that as men, they should try and drown their emotions, never think of them, and not care about how they look or feel. Sadly, this doesn’t make the feeling go away, so while your husband may have thick skin when it comes to how he looks, sounds, or acts, you may be surprised to know that there’s a huge chance that the man inside that thick skin is a lot less secure than you think. We live in a modern world that understandably expects more from men than to just be strong, gruff, breadwinners. Men can be openly emotional and women can be more than mothers, but we’re still trapped in a transitionary period that leaves men unable to fully express themselves, with your husband most likely included.
14. You May Not Always Be The Woman On His Mind…
As annoying as it may be, we’re all human beings, and every human being is inherently flawed. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being, which means there’s no such thing as the perfect husband either. This means that while we would never condone anything on the scale of betraying or cheating, you’ll probably have to accept that you aren’t the only woman your husband thinks about sexually for your entire marriage. We have to remember that there’s a huge difference between thinking about something and doing something, so to get angry at someone for merely having a thought is pretty ridiculous if you ask us. Honestly, this is the sort of stuff that can ruin relationships, and we think it’s because there isn’t enough of a realistic expectation when it comes to the level of expected fidelity. You cannot police someone’s thoughts. It’s just not possible.
13. You May Not Know Everything About His Past
Some relationships are built on absolute trust and honesty, with both of those involved totally comfortable with the concept of talking about everything from their past, but this isn’t true of everyone. There are some people out there, perhaps people like your husband, who don’t feel that they can tell you everything about their past, or maybe they just don’t want to tell you. There’s nothing wrong with this, and you should really accept that if you’re looking for a lasting and fulfilling relationship. While it may seem frustrating at first, almost as if he’s keeping something from you, you have to understand that this isn’t coming from a negative place; it’s just who he is. If you can’t accept that, then maybe it’s time to move on and find a different husband. It’s tough, but these are the sorts of realities you have to face if you realize you’re just not compatible.
12. All Of Your Flaws May Stay Secret
We know there’s this belief about men that they all sit around together chatting about your various different flaws and what could be better, but this just isn’t true of a lot of men — or at least of the sort of men that you want to be getting married to anyway. As we’ve said before, we can’t speak for all men here, but there’s a big chance that none of his friends know about the third nipple or the odd mole that you think is hideous but he thinks is quite cute. A lot of husbands have respect for the boundaries that their wives want in place, and you shouldn’t always believe the stereotype when it comes to figuring out what people are like behind the scenes. If you don’t believe us and you feel you can trust your husband, just ask him, and we bet you’ll be surprised by the answer he gives you.
11. How Much Is He Flirting Behind Your Back? You’ll Never Know…
This is an odd one, and it changes entirely based on whatever relationship you’re discussing. Some people just accept that flirting is such a fluid part of social bonding and personal connection, to the point where many people have their own definitions of what flirting even is. Seriously, this, like every other thing on this list, is something that you sort out by sitting down and having a frank discussion about with your significant other. If you can trust him, you should be able to sort this out pretty quickly. We personally have no problem with a little flirting here and there, as long as that’s as far as it goes. Anything beyond a little wry smile and a witty comment, and you’ve got yourself a problem on your hands. Seriously though, with love and trust, there should be no worry about a little flirting. It’s all part of being alive if you ask us.
10. He’s Probably Spending Some Time On His Own If You Know What We Mean
One of the oddest things we find accepted in popular culture when it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman is the stereotypical expectation that women will hate the fact that men spend… “time on their own.” We know that you know what we mean about a little personal time, so we won’t bother going any further. Personal time is all part of being a human being and is merely a sign that you’ve got a healthy mentality toward the world of sex and close romantic relationships. Has anybody actually had a problem with that before in the past? If not, why are American films painting bored housewives as being offended when their husbands fantasize about other women? It’s not as if these wives are totally innocent themselves! Are we going to sit here and pretend that wives aren’t having a little private time as well?! Don’t be ridiculous.
9. They’re Not As Dependent As You Think Either
Believe it or not, your significant other would be very unlikely to just fall apart if you were to disappear for a week, and yet this is what many people feel would happen on both sides of the sexes. Unless you’re a woman going out with a man who’s completely dependent on you — and if you are, you shouldn’t be with him — then you’re married to someone who had to look after himself before he was with you. The only men who don’t adhere to this rule are those who come from such a privileged background they’ve never had to do anything for themselves. We can’t speak for everyone, but we know that we personally wouldn’t want to be with people who lived their lives like that. We’re sure this doesn’t apply to everybody, but do you really want to be with a man who can’t do anything for himself? It’s not worth it.
8. Cuddling Is Something They Love
Just like everything on this list, we’re talking in generalizations here, but you’ll find that most men actually love to cuddle once they get down to it, even enjoying being the big spoon from time to time. This goes back to what we were discussing earlier, where men feel as if they can’t enjoy things that we’ve been told are particularly “soft” or “feminine,” but if the enjoyable act is cuddling, most men will be able to look past that nagging feeling in the back of their heads. All of this being said, you may not be with a man who feels comfortable with you talking about this sort of stuff with your friends. If you care about their feelings, this may be something you would want to think about because if it ever got back to your husband, you may find yourself in the middle of a serious argument that you never wanted.
7. There’s A Big Chance He Doesn’t Trust You
Just as you may have had troubles in the past that have led you to not trust people you end up in relationships with, your husband is likely to have dealt with similar issues that may result in him having less than full confidence in you. Is this alright? Of course not, and we’re not saying that you should feel guilty for doing nothing, but just be aware that his trust levels may be a little dodgy, and you may have to have a conversation with him about this if you’re hoping to open him up to the relationship in a major way. Sure, you should’ve done this well before getting married, but sometimes, love rushes you off of your feet and into something major before you know it. Another thing to be aware of is his friends. If his friends see women as monsters, it won’t be long before he starts to see you that way as well.
6. We’d Keep Your Phones Close To Your Chest If We Were You
In this one-sided world that we live in, it’s usually women who are painted out to be the snoopers in a relationship, but we’re here to tell you that just because you’re married to a man doesn’t mean you don’t have to worry about him taking a look at your tech. Ever since the invention of cell phones, it’s become a lot harder to trust your partner not to snoop into your life, and if he does, it’s a total invasion of your privacy, which shouldn’t be swept under the carpet. Just because it’s a new form of technology doesn’t mean that it’s any different from following you around or asking your friends what you’re getting up to while he’s not around. Without that trust, you don’t have a worthwhile relationship. This is a sad truth that a lot of people aren’t willing to accept, but if you do, it’ll make life much easier in the long run.
5. They Think They’re Smarter Than You
Yet another throwback from a time when men were considered far better than women, this is something that you’ll only find in the husband that you really shouldn’t have ever entered into a relationship with in the first place. Not only could we write an essay on the idea that the term “smarter” is in and of itself a subjective one, but it’s also so demeaning for somebody who supposedly loves you to consider himself smarter than you, whether you agree with him or not. Honestly, you should never hang around people who make you feel that they’re more intelligent than you, whether it’s your husband, your family, or your friends. Those are the sorts of people who won’t be content until they’ve ground you down into submission, most likely because they have an insecurity about who they are and what they can offer in this world. Not worth it.
4. Husbands Would Rather You Made Less Money
This, once again, keys into the idea of masculinity and what it means to your husband to be a man. Hopefully, you managed to bag a man who doesn’t feel that his worth should be based on such archaic concepts as who should be the true bread winner in the relationship or that he even has to prove himself as a “man” purely because of the gender he was born into. Remember, you’re both just human beings, and if your husband can’t see beyond the fact that he’s a man and you’re a woman, this speaks to an insecurity that he has rather than you being insensitive. There’s nothing wrong with a woman making more than a man in a relationship, something that all men need to grow up and realize. The very fact that this sort of thing is up for debate just highlights how we’re still not truly equal.
3. You May Never Know How Much He Actually Makes
Now, we can actually imagine a lot of women reading this and laughing at the concept their husband would ever be able to keep their annual income a secret, as they’re actually the ones in the relationship who are tasked with making sure that all of the financial needs are sorted out. Obviously, you’re the people who really don’t have to worry about this, but if you know nothing of what your husband makes and he keeps his bank statements close to his chest, then it’s pretty likely you actually have no idea how much he’s making. The number of marriages and relationships split up by money actually makes us really sad. It’s an evil construct that we let rule and ruin our lives, purely because we’re told that it’s one of the most important aspects of being alive. Doesn’t anybody else think that this is absolutely insane? Money should be done away with.
2. He Probably Has Some Female Friends You Don’t Know About
We’re just being honest here, but there’s a major chance that he hasn’t told you a comprehensive list of all of his female friends, but this isn’t as sinister as you think it is. It’s not that he’s hiding them from you, although that may be what he’s doing and you should definitely talk to him if you think he’s being shifty; it’s most likely that he’s just not bothered to mention everyone. Just as he’ll have women in his life you don’t know about, he’ll have men in his life you don’t know about as well. This is just how life is. Depending on what they do for a living and how sociable they are, it’d take a whole lifetime to relay exactly how many women men see on a regular basis. We’re not saying don’t be suspicious, but it’s definitely not too much of a red flag if you ask us.
1. Look, He Just Doesn’t Like Your Parents
Now, for a lot of wives, this is a big one, but there’s very little we can help you with here. If your husband isn’t keen on your parents, that’s just something that you’ll have to accept as long as he’s willing to be civil and makes sure that he doesn’t put you in the middle. This is when it can get pretty toxic — having a husband who’s willing to emotionally blackmail and emotionally manipulate his partner merely because his in-laws are getting in the way. It can be difficult, but we promise that it will eventually become easier. On the plus side, it means you’ll never have to worry about your parents hogging your partner if they never want to be around each other, and this will make the holiday season a lot easier as well. We know this just sounds like we’re trying to spin a bad situation here, but this is a really tough one!
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