Is becoming exclusive a good thing for a relationship or should things remain the way they are? Preferably, becoming exclusive is the idea behind getting into a romantic relationship, since not knowing where you two stand can be the worst experiences a “would be” couple can go through. Some highlight the advantage of being single as having the option of seeing anyone they want without having to deal with a jealous significant other, but these singles end up becoming homewreckers even without knowing it.
Becoming exclusive is one of the best things that can happen to a couple in love while getting and staying married is the overall best; however, getting to these stages does not come without its challenges. Becoming exclusive is a sign to the world that you two are now together and that you are committing to do all you can to remain faithful and true to each other. This decision is supposed to be a trait of the mature since immature people cannot handle exclusive relationships.
This article highlights 15 things that guys stop doing when they become exclusive, some of these should, without a doubt, stop while others stop and yet the other person expects them to continue. For some of these things, one or both parties stop doing them out of respect, others out of maturity, others because they love the other person deeply, but others stop because someone got into a relationship with a jerk.
In your opinion, which of these things should not stop even deep into marriage?
15. Wearing “Pick Me Up Clothes” At Social Gatherings
The day you become exclusive, you have a moral obligation to change the way you dress because dressing says a lot about you. We expect single people who are searching for love to dress for the part, but an individual who is now in an exclusive relationship must send out the right message. “Pick me up clothes” are those hot and attractive clothes that exaggerate what you have, clothes that are so powerful they can turn the heads of everyone in a party. This does not mean that people in exclusive relationships do not have the right to wear the latest fashion; it just means that they have to be careful not to send out the wrong message. You have to stop wearing these extremely revealing clothes regardless of whom you are with because by wearing them you will be putting yourself and your significant other in a tight spot.
14. Playing Hard To Get
Playing hard to get is a game that decent women have been playing for centuries and among other things, this game is meant to separate the jokers from the serious guys. To a man, who truly loves a woman, the chase is always worth every effort and it can make him treasure her even more. However, women have to know that as soon as they become exclusive, the games have to stop. This next stage of the relationship needs the two to be inseparable because any complications here can make a wonderful man think that the woman is not for him and then back off in search of another who will accept to be his. Playing hard to get has its place, it is just not in an exclusive relationship.
13. Flirting With Each Other
Flirting hardly hurts anyone, and it surely makes the parties involved in the flirting to feel good about themselves. Flirting is one of the things that guys stop doing once they become exclusive, yet they are not supposed to stop. Flirting might be a behavior that most people use to attract a significant other for amusement purposes but it should not end just because it has achieved its purpose. Couples who become exclusive need to hear those sweet and lovey-dovey words from each other because such words and actions make a relationship fun and exciting. If the two in a relationship stop flirting with each other and continue flirting with other people outside of their relationship, this will likely spell the end of that relationship.
12. Buying Flowers (Appreciating The Little Things)
When a man is looking to sweep a woman off her feet, he will do all sorts of things including buying her flowers and candy to win her heart. However, as soon as the two become exclusive, most of the things the man used to do start fading out for various reasons. The same applies to women because they also stop trying to act or look as attractive to their men as much as possible and both forget that the little things also matter so much especially now that the two are exclusive. The surest way for your relationship to succeed is to keep doing the small things that your significant other likes; the moment you stop doing those things marks the beginning of the downfall.
11. Surprising Each Other
Have you ever walked into a room and suddenly everyone yelled “Surprise”? Aside from the shock, the feeling that follows will blow you away when you realize just how much people love and care for you. The same feeling is great especially in a relationship because it shows the party being surprised just how much the other person thinks about them. That feeling of not knowing exactly what to expect from your significant other usually stops as soon as a couple becomes exclusive, a trend that leads exclusive relationships to become predictable and boring. Most guys see the graduation into exclusivity as a license to let go of all the effort they used to put into wanting to win a girl’s heart, but that should not be the case. Keep the surprises coming, especially the good ones.
10. Giving Each Other Their Full Attention
When a man wants to get a woman, he is always attentive to everything she does no matter how insignificant. A man pays attention to what his potential woman says, how she says it, and even why she says what she says because the process of winning her over requires such keen attention to detail. On the other hand, the woman gets to enjoy this period of the relationship so much, thinking that it will last forever, only for the man to start focusing on sports and work as soon as they become exclusive. The shift in focus is not that the man loves her any less; it is just that he is a natural hardworking and a lover of sports kind of a person and he is just being himself.
9. Thinking About Each Other All The Time
An individual who falls in love has a hard time thinking about anything other than the other person for the first few weeks after meeting, a feeling that one should enjoy for as long as possible. The feelings and thoughts towards the other person increase upon knowing or having an idea that the attraction is mutual, a situation that occurs before any of them has the courage to DTR (define the relationship). However, the sad thing about this story is that shortly after becoming exclusive, life gets back to usual and the thoughts towards each other go down to a level that allows them to function in society as normal human beings. This should not always be the case in exclusive relationships; each party should strive to think of the other as often as possible.
8. Going Out As Much As They Used To
Going out is one of the highlights of any relationship, since going out entails doing a lot of fun stuff and it gives the two potential lovers an opportunity to put their best foot forward. Couples that prioritize going out for dates always seem so happy and stay in love for so long, a situation that everyone would want to be in. However, whether for financial reasons, work commitments, or any other situation that might prevent going out on dates on a regular basis, people reduce their frequency of going out on dates a short while after becoming exclusive. This is one of those situations that none of the parties involved wants to stop going out, it is just that life is a bit more complicated for the average individual to sustain such a lifestyle.
7. Giving Flattering Compliments
Every man knows that he should always give a compliment to his woman every time he sees her, something that will always melt her heart and give her the confidence to look her best all the time. A man will even give a woman a compliment even when she is having her worst hair day, a few flattering words that will let her know that it is not the end of the world and that she still remains to be the reason he is alive. However, just like everything else on this list, a man will find it hard to keep up with the compliments because he feels as if he has said it all. Sadly, compliments will be spaced out to times when she buys a new outfit or when she changes her hairdo.
6. Avoiding Criticizing Each Other
When a man meets the woman of his dreams, she is perfect in every way. Even when his boys try telling him of the woman’s shortcomings, he will be blind to them all and see her as an angel. Unless if a woman is a psycho and love here fails to conquer all, a man in search of a woman’s heart is relentless and blind to all faults. However, when the man becomes successful in making her his own, his eyes become open to all the faults he was not seeing before and in some cases points them out in a not so loving manner. As important as it is to open up your heart to the one you love even with regard to what you feel they need to change, exclusivity invites criticisms and genuine complaints that are never too easy to take in.
5. Hating On People In Relationships
Some single people have the habit of hating on people in relationships, especially those with high PDA (Public Displays of Affection). The hate can come from a past relationship that ended badly or the fact that they cannot seem to get what everyone else seems to be getting. Most of these single people try showing their friends just how cool being single is but most of them are usually hurting and jealous on the inside. The moment these people get into a relationship, especially in exclusive relationships, they put an end to all the hate and start acting all in love. It takes time for these once “single and loving it” people to let it out in public that they find relationships cool too since they eventually gather the courage to proclaim their new stand.
4. Forgiving Each Other For Everything
Forgiveness is one of the foundations of meaningful relationships because holding on to grudges is the fastest way to not only kill a relationship but to give you sleepless nights and unnecessary heartache. Before people become exclusive, chances of forgiving each other for anything are very high, since they always imagine that the person will change as soon as they become exclusive or that they might not even hook up. The sad thing is that as soon as the couple decides to become exclusive, the rules for engagement change and hardly does a word or an action pass without someone demanding an explanation for the same. Although people in exclusive relationships do eventually forgive each other, those who are still in undefined relationships can get away with far worse things.
3. Keeping Their Word
Women would rather be in a relationship with a man who keeps his word as often as possible as opposed to one who has everything else but cannot keep his word. When a man says that he will be there for his woman or he will pick her up from work, he would absolutely move heaven and earth to make sure he keeps his word. Since all men know this, they always strive to achieve a perfect record as long as they are trying to win over the heart of their dream girls. However, a short period after becoming exclusive, some men do not strive as much to keep their word while others hardly show any effort, which is never a good thing in any relationship.
2. Taking The Effort To Hide All Their Flaws
Regardless of how highly you think of yourself, you do have flaws that if someone were to find out about on the first date, you would never qualify for a second. The interesting thing is that most people know about their worst flaws and one way of dealing with them is usually to hide them. When a couple becomes exclusive, the two become comfortable with each other to the point of letting all their guards down and exposing their flaws. Some relationships do end at this point but others soldier on depending on how understanding the other person is. It is important to reach this level of intimacy in every relationship but this in no way means that the individual should stop working on his or her flaws.
1. Seeing Other People
This is the most obvious things that have to end when a couple becomes exclusive and no explanation is needed here. The unwritten contract between people who enter into an exclusive relationship clearly spells out that none of them has a right to see someone else until the exclusive relationship ends, otherwise it is not an exclusive relationship. The terrible thing with people these days is that they do not honor each other to the point of sticking to the terms of the contract, which is why we hear of so many people cheating on each other. Maturity dictates that you can see as many people as you want before narrowing down to one, a point from which you must willingly commit to seeing only the one.