Let’s face it, we’ve all had those certain girlfriends or boyfriends who we just needed to get rid of from our lives. Sometimes it is even a husband or wife that needs to go. It does not matter if you’re gay, straight, or what have you. We all have people in our lives that need to be removed…or at least put in another place in our lives.
Sometimes we run into the kinds of people that just do not fit. It happens to us all in the world of dating. There are many times in which a relationship ends peacefully after one of you just does not feel the same about the other. Sometimes it takes something to bring a spark back, but many times there is no spark and the relationship must end. These things happen. That is why we date, to find the right guy or girl for us.
However, there are then the relationships that get really out of hand. We all have those crazy breakup stories, right? Someone we had in our lives for a short or long period of time that wasted part of our lives? There are several things that could lead to a breakup, but these fifteen things were probably somewhere in the ballpark of why you broke it off with your now insignificant other.
15. They Were Lazy
Being lazy can be interpreted in different ways. Sometimes being lazy is totally cool. You just worked a long, hard week and you want to have a lazy Saturday and/or Sunday. There is nothing wrong with that sort of thing, right? Well up to a point, yes. If you and your lady or gentleman made plans for the weekend and you blow them off to stay home….then that can be an issue.
Sure, you may be able to have a nice night in watching Netflix and chilling. However, you cannot do this every single weekend. If every time she sees you, it’s all about staying in and never doing anything…he or she is doing to get annoyed. This is more of an issue for men, as we tend to have the biggest lazy issue. Usually, if our person wants to stay in, we can find things to do (hint hint) but we’re also going to want to go out have fun with our person too.
The best thing either side can do is simply avoid the laziness. Go out and have fun. If you don’t want to do this every weekend, that is totally cool…don’t. But to never go out or even work hard, there is an issue. Laziness is attributed to more than going out. It can be an issue when it comes to making money, helping to contribute to the place you share like not doing dishes, taking out the trash, or doing laundry. All of these simple things can easily be done, and should not be something you’re lazy about.
14. They Stole Your Clothing
This seems to be an issue mostly when it comes to women. There are many times in which you may steal a guy’s shirt or jacket. Sometimes men happily hand them over because we have others. Then there is that one shirt or pair of jogging pants that you steal from us that we really like. This is not so much of an issue when you live with a person. It is an issue, however, when you don’t and find that she has a closet full of your stuff! However, men also have a theft issue.
There are many times in which men steal women’s underwear. If you’re a female, there is a good shot this has either happened to you or you know someone it has happened to. Men will, for some reason, want to steal the stuff. Sometimes men do it for a conquest reason or to show friends. Sometimes they do it to have a piece of the girl with them at all times. Of course, there have been creepier reasons too.
Regardless, there is a big reason to leave the relationship if these things happen. Sometimes you can talk it out with them and issues may go. But typically they do not, and you need to go as soon as you can. Trust me, no one would blame you for it either.
13. You Were Just Their Placeholder
Some of you have been lucky enough to not have experienced this sort of issue. Men and women both have been known for this one. You know that guy or girl that you dated who broke up with you and ended up with someone else pretty quickly? This may not have been due to them cheating on you (and we’ll get to that), but it could have been because you were, in fact, a placeholder.
You may have realized this during the relationship. Maybe you were realizing that they were using you to get close to your friend that they truly liked. You also may have seen that they had that one special friend that they really wanted to be with, but settled for you instead. If you realize this and feel like you need to move on, why shouldn’t you? You’re not the focus and you know it. Why be a placeholder when you can move on and be with someone who wants to be with you?
12. They Were Very Clingy
I think we’ve all had this one…or perhaps we WERE this partner. A person who is clingy can definitely be a tough quality to have in your partner. This is normally an issue for people who rarely date or happen to be in their first or second relationship. It seems to happen when you are younger, but people can still have issues with it throughout their life. Many people think just women do this, but you would be surprised how many women report issues with their man being clingy.
There might be a psychological reason behind it. Sometimes you can talk to your partner about it and they might back away a bit to give you some space. However, some people are dangerously clingy. There have been several instances reported by divorced women and those in long-term relationships regarding a clingy ex who would follow them to work, show up randomly there, or rarely let them go out anywhere without them, even to a store. This is a major issue and can easily want to make you get out of a relationship.
11. They Called You Unpleasant Names
I don’t think most of us really get upset with pet names our significant other comes up for us. However, there are some that we may not like and do not have the heart to tell them. Then there are some names they call you that are just horrible. If they talk to their friends about you in a bad way or talk to you in a horrible way, calling you bad names such as a**hole, b****, and so on….you may not be in a healthy relationship.
Relationships are about respect. Calling each other these names because you’re angry is wrong. If they are being a certain way, then you may feel that there is a right to call them out on what is upsetting them, but there are healthier ways to do this and you ideally do it in the privacy of your home.
Doing this on a regular basis is horrible to do. Again, this is all about respecting them and calling them bad names on the regular is not doing that whatsoever. That said, if you’re being called names then you probably feel you would be treated better by someone else. You’re probably right too.
10. They Borrowed Or Stole Money From You
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, truthfully, there is not. Asking your significant other for some help financially every once in a while is not wrong. This is especially true if you are in a long, healthy relationship. However, asking for money early on in the relationship can be a sign that they are with you just so you’ll take care of them. This is clearly a bad thing. However, the worst part might be knowing someone took money from you without asking, or, well, stealing. Some might even call it being robbed.
Men and women have both been known for doing this. They’ll enter a relationship with someone they know has a good job and makes good money, then they will use their charm and possibly sexual charm to make sure you give them what they want. All of this is being done to simply rob you blind. Seriously, do you think those playmates really LOVE Hugh Hefner? I mean seriously people. That being said, if you see this happening to you then you may need to get out of a relationship. If you already have exited it, a hardy high five to you!
9. They Pitched Fits All The Time
You may have experienced this or know someone who has. There are some people who go through relationships with, shall we say, “emotional” people. Whenever something does not go their way, they end up crazed pitching fits all the time. Obviously being upset in a relationship is going to happen. People are going to fight and they’re going to be upset with the other. This is completely normal.
What is not normal is a person just going nuts and pitching a fit all the time. For example, they may not get to go to the restaurant they felt was best. Instead of getting over it, they might complain the entire time and make things rough on you. They may whine and this can get really frustrating. This happening one time might get old, but happening more than once? Clearly, that is breakup worthy as you definitely don’t need to have that kind of person involved in your life.
8. They Blamed You For Things You Did Not Do
You would be surprised how often this comes up with people who break up. Sometimes your significant other will make a mistake and instead of living up to it, they blame you for the issue. Perhaps they might lose something and accuse you of stealing it, instead of trusting that you did not do anything. Sometimes issues with their brain might come up and they blame you for things that never actually happened.
In one case, a woman was dating a man who had undiagnosed mental disorders. She did not know this when they got together, as everything was fine at first. Then major problems began, as she was told she did things that never actually happened from stealing to even leaving the home. Of course, sometimes, it does not take extreme examples like this to make you realize you want to leave.
7. They Were Terrible With Your Parents
We all have that time when our parents want to meet our special someone. Sometimes we feel really weird about it and we’re very afraid how they will take to our significant other. What if they don’t like them? What if something weird happens? A lot rolls through our minds and it is often tough to get through. However, what makes it worse is having a terrible person to take home to mom and dad.
There are many cases where you bring home a guy or girl and your parents do not like them for random, sometimes dumb reasons. However, there are others that are perfectly reasonable. Such as if they are rude to your parents or they act badly towards you in front of them.
Often times, whether we may like it or not, the approval of our parents dictates whether or not we keep someone in our lives and this has led to more breakups than you would think. In fact, it is one of the top reasons people tend to call it quits. Why do you think it made it so high on our list?
6. They Had Horrible Jealousy
This is a big one that I think most everyone has experienced at one point or another. Remember dating that one guy or girl that seemed to be jealous over every single person you spoke with? Lord help you if you spoke to someone of the opposite sex that you were only friends with. It would be World War III all up in your home! Both men or women have the capability of becoming overly jealous.
There have been several cases of men actually keeping their woman at home so that they could never go out and even look at another guy, simply out of jealousy. There have also been cases of a woman going with her man everywhere he goes so that he does not speak to or look at anyone else. This is horrific behavior that neither partner should do or put up with, but for some reason they do. It is best to leave that kind of relationship as it only gets worse and worse over time.
5. They Were Not Over Their Ex
One of the worst situations you may ever go through is being with someone who simply is not over their ex. Your job is to not be their rebound from who they were with before. Your job is to try to make a relationship work like any normal human being would do. However, there are issues when you run into people who are not over their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. This can be difficult to go through because you’re not going to want to be the one they talk to about how fun it was with their ex.
You want them to make memories and moments with you, not remember some from their past. This often happens with people who jump into a relationship when they were not ready, usually after a long relationship with someone else. But remember that this is not your responsibility to help them get past someone else so they can be with you. It is good to move on from someone like this as they are certainly not ready to date, much less try to be committed to someone else.
4. They Didn’t Respect You
This is actually one of the top reasons many get out of long-term relationships over short-term ones, however, it can be done in short-term ones as well. The reason it tends to happen more for long-term couples is due to the level of complacency that they may feel in their relationship. Many people often get tired of the other person and do not appreciate what they have when they have it. They just want to be to themselves and the romance is often gone. In turn, respect is not given.
You may face disrespect both in how they speak to you, and how they treat you. If they call you names like we mentioned earlier, do not consider you when going to the store, or little things like this…there is a problem.
We’ll talk about other issues with respect upcoming, but what is so sad is that respect is so easy to give. All you really need to do is simply treat someone how they should be treated. Which is like a special someone who is taking time from their life to spend it with you. How could you not appreciate and respect that person?
3. They Looked Through Your Phone Without Your Permission
Possibly a pet peeve for anyone is when someone looks through your phone. This can be an even bigger problem if it is your partner that is violating your privacy.
Remember the respect we spoke about earlier? There is such a lack of it when someone looks through your phone at your private texts, FB/Twitter messages, and emails. Some people may say they have nothing to hide, so it isn’t a big deal for them. That may be true, but there should be no reason a person would go through another person’s phone.
If you just so happen to need to use someone’s phone, all you have to do is ask them and they will most likely say yes to using it. Most of us would have no issue if a person asked. However, not asking means we know you’re snooping and that is a no-no in relationships. Obviously, relationships are about trust, and you should not violate that by looking through their phone when they leave it near you. While this may not seem like a big enough deal to break up over to some people, to today’s generation it is a big deal and one that many feel leads to other issues down the line.
2. They Were Abusive
Probably one of the biggest reason people leave relationships is due to abuse. We all have either experienced or know someone who has gone through this. It is one of the most horrific things anyone can go through in a relationship. While society may seem to center more on men as the abusers, you would be surprised to know that men are also abused in relationships as well.
In 2010 a national survey was done by the Center for Disease Control and Department of Justice. They noted in the last 12 months of that year that “More men than women were victims of intimate partner physical violence and over 40% of severe physical violence was directed at men. Men were also more often the victim of psychological aggression and control over sexual or reproductive health. Despite this, few services are available to male victims of intimate partner violence.”
There are support groups for all people who are abused, including men. However, men often times do not like to report these issues to the police because it makes them seem weak. They are clearly reporting as real a crime as a man hitting a woman. But sadly, in this case, the seriousness of the problem does get overlooked.
Men often do not attend support groups for similar reasons in that they don’t want to seem weak for being abused by a woman.
Some say women are the ones we focus on here in abuse cases because we tend to hear more from them than you would men. Again, this is by design due to men not reporting them openly as often. Plus it rarely makes press for men unless it is a crazy Kathy Bates from Misery situation. So be aware that this is an issue for both genders and terrible for either.
1. They Cheated
The number one reason many people end up leaving their partner tends to be cheating. Obviously, abuse is right up there with it, but cheating will always be number one for people simply because of how horrible it is to go through. It is really one of the hardest things you could ever find out, especially if it makes you feel that you’re not enough for your partner. They needed someone on the side because you could not give them something they felt they needed. Cheaters often come up with excuses for why they did it, and this can often lead to them blaming their partner.
However, at the end of the day, there is no excuse good enough for cheating. If you make a commitment to someone to be their only one, you must be that. If you do not want this and you tell them that, usually the relationship will end and you can move on and have fun with other people. Sadly this does not happen because people enjoy their home life and don’t want to screw that up. Yet they will still run around on their partner anyway.
Many people assume men cheat more than women, but this is actually very inaccurate. According to a study done by Indiana State University, the cheating between the sexes is actually almost dead even.
Regardless of why people do it, cheating often ends relationships more than any other factor. Do your best to avoid doing it.