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15 Stupid Things Only Jerks Do

High Life
15 Stupid Things Only Jerks Do

Guys aren’t born jerks. There’s no gene that makes someone a jerk by birth. Have you ever seen a 3-month-old baby and thought “Man, that little guy is a jerk!”? No, of course you haven’t.

Guys can be transformed into jerks for a variety of reasons. Some their fault and some completely out of their control. Those reasons include: Being bullied as a kid, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, “late bloomer”, being rejected, being below average in other areas–and the long list goes on and on.

Do women find jerks especially attractive and seek them out? No. So then, why does it seem like women are only dating the jerks? Perhaps they seek to tame the bad boy or maybe they like a good challenge. A jerk’s overconfidence can be appealing to some, and yet at the same time, repulsive to others. Nobody likes the exact same things. It’s unfortunate that so many great guys get pushed aside while she goes looking and finds yet another jerk to date.

You can tell a girl wants to date a jerk when she becomes borderline obsessed with the notion that she will be the one that he will settle down with and change his ways. It’s not going to happen. You don’t want to date someone with a desire to change them. You want to date someone whom has a personality and characteristics that you already admire and desire. Never date someone with the expectation that they will change. You will just be left disappointed and single.

Here we have curated the Top 15 Things That Only Jerks Do!

15. “You’re So Vain”

Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” was probably written about you. Yes, we’re talking about you.

“You’re so vain you probably think this song is about you….”

When you walk into a room, does everyone start talking about you? Do all of your family and friends want to be you? Do you like the sound of your own voice? If you answered yes to all 3 questions, then Congratulations! You have a greater than average chance of being a jerk!

Let’s get one thing straight, the world does not revolve around you. If you think it does, consider your bubble now burst. There are 7.5 billion people on Earth. That’s 7.5 billion people that don’t care about your latest Instagram gym selfie. That’s 7.5 billion people that don’t want to know you’re watching Breaking Bad. That’s 7.5 billion people that don’t give a rat’s behind about you!

If you are the type of person that needs cold, hard facts before you believe something, here you go: In the later half of the 16th Century, Copernicus, determined that the Earth revolved around the great ball of fire in the sky, the sun. The Earth takes 365.2 solar days to complete its orbit around the sun. Nowhere in the history books does it say the Earth took a break revolving around the sun to come revolve around you. If you find a source that claims otherwise, they are either full of it or the author of that said source is soon to be more famous than Beyonce.

14. Poor Tipping

Unless your service was awful, there is no excuse for not tipping or being a terrible tipper. If you have never worked in the restaurant industry it might be a little more difficult for you to understand, but the waitstaff really do work their butts off! It’s a very physically exhausting profession with little to no reward.

Waiters and waitresses barely make a base pay of minimum wage. Some probably don’t even make that. Tips from customers are their paycheck. You not giving an adequate and deserving tip is a huge slap in the face. Depending on the establishment, that person may be working for only a 4-hour shift. You’ve just taken an hour of their time and aren’t giving them compensation for it.

If you are out on a first date and pull this jerk move, you have just completely and irreversibly ruined your chances at landing a second date. Being rude to people in the service industry is a huge turn-off. Waiter, bartender, restaurant host, fast food cashier–these people all deserve the same level of respect as everybody else. They don’t have easy jobs. Being a jerk just makes you look arrogant, mean, and not a nice person to be around.

13. Kiss & Tell

It’s never really cool to kiss and tell but jerks take it to the next level. Pictures and messages that are sent between you two end up being shared with all of the jerk’s friends. He’ll dish all the dirty details including the ones only made up in his head.

If you’ve experienced this type of jerk behavior first-hand, then you know the best thing to do is rise about it. The only people that believe the crap coming out of a jerk’s mouth are other jerks. It may be easier said than done but don’t stress out. There will eventually be someone else for them to pick apart and help them take their dirty minds off of you!

Keep things in your relationship private. It doesn’t need to be announced around the store.

12. Suddenly Single

A jerk will go out to the bar or to a party and suddenly become single. Girlfriend? What girlfriend? If you don’t want a girlfriend due to having to be committed and stay faithful then don’t have one! Don’t encourage or pursue a relationship with someone either. You don’t need one.

Guys that go off on weekend vacations to Vegas or spring break down in Cancun are notorious for suddenly forgetting they were in a committed relationship. It’s amazing how quickly it happens. Out of sight, out of mind? To jerks, that is the absolute truth. These jerks are impulsive, demanding, and entitled!

11. It’s a Numbers Game

There are well-known college fraternities out there that have giant wall-size bulletin boards with color-coded push pins scattered all over it. What is it? Some sort of game? You could say that.

Every new hook-up gets a push pin. Each guy has a different color. The more a guy gets, the more ‘of a man’ he looks to his friends. So, when out at the bar or coffee shop or wherever he decides to prowl around, he is not looking for someone he can converse with or that he finds even remotely interesting and wants to get to know. He is just looking for someone to hook up with. He wants to add another pin to the wall and get a high five from his friends.

He will say anything and everything he thinks she wants to hear in order to reach his goal. After he has sweet-talked her and they hook up, he will stop returning her texts and phone calls. She will be ‘ghosted’ and left confused and hurt. He will be enjoying the looks of approval from his friends and will already be on to find the next push pin. Only one type of guy plays this game, jerks.

10. Throwing Friends Under The Bus

Stop putting people down and throwing your friends under the bus. It isn’t cool. It is in no way, shape, or form making you look even remotely cool. You’re just making yourself look like an asshole. Only jerks do that to their friends.

Instead of putting someone down, try lifting them up. Say something positive. Do you really need to one-up them on everything? That isn’t making you look impressive. It is making you look like a jerk, so if that’s your intention, then you are doing a really good job at it.

When you put someone else down, you’re really just showcasing yourself. You’re telling a lot about yourself by doing that to someone else.

9. The Waiting Game

Don’t play games. If you want to talk to her, get in touch with her. It’s 2017, there’s no reason to play the 3-day, 4-day or even 5-day waiting game. It isn’t going to make her more interested in you, it’s going to make her annoyed.

If you’re interested in her, pick up your phone and either text or call her. Even if it’s just to tell her that you had a really nice time on your date. She will definitely appreciate it.

As for Facebook and their constantly updating messaging, yes, she can now see when you open a message and let it sit without responding. That is the worst! She will wonder if she did or said something wrong. She will assume that you’re not interested—and that’s fine if that’s what you want. But if not, for Pete’s sake message her back!

8. No Filter

Jerks have absolutely no filter. Whatever is on their mind, good or bad, is going to come out. They don’t care who they offend in the process. If a girl walks into the room that’s well-endowed and a jerk is in the near vicinity, chances are she will be encountering him shortly.

Now alcoholic people do tend to lose their inhibitions and say whatever is on their mind–but the difference here is that a true jerk does it all the time. He has zero inhibitions or sympathy. If he offends someone with something he does or says, it’s their problem–not his.

Honesty is an important part of any relationship. However, there is line between being honest and being downright rude. With jerks, there is no line separating honesty and rudeness.

7. Look Into My Eyes

It was Voltaire that said “The eyes are the windows to the soul” and truer words have never been spoken. Jerks must know this to be true as well because they will do everything and anything but look you directly in the eyes for longer than a millisecond–if that! It’s almost as if by looking into your eyes, they think that you’ll penetrate their soul and figure out what’s really going on in their heads.

Jerks will look at the floor, their phone, people behind you, their buddies, or their drink–but will definitely not look directly in your eyes. Find a guy that looks into your eyes and chances are, you have a definite keeper. Eyes tell a lot about a person.

6. 12 Items Or Less

See that sign above the cash register? The one that says “12 Items Or Less”? Yes? Okay. Well that doesn’t apply to everyone else but you. Believe it or not, that also applies to you! Crazy, isn’t it?! So, when you stroll up with a shopping cart spilling over with grocery items, and start emptying out your cart in that checkout lane, there’s going to be some people that aren’t too happy about it. Namely, those people that have “12 Items Or Less”!

You need to go to a lane that is designated for people that have over 12 items–probably any other lane besides the one you are currently standing in. It doesn’t matter if there are waiting lines 15 people deep at all the other cash registers, you need to push your cart over to one of those lanes and get at the back of the line–no taking cuts.

5. We Interrupt Your Conversations to Bring You…

We interrupt your conversation to bring you some very important information.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

You have impressively managed to make interrupting conversations part of your everyday…every conversation thing. You do it so much that you don’t even realize you are doing it–and even if you were called out on it, that probably wouldn’t matter too much to you. It’s their problem not yours, right? They shouldn’t be talking in the first place. Especially if it has nothing to do with you! Talk about mansplaining!

Announcing you have to leave the group to go to the bathroom, make a phone call or talk to the red head at the bar is in your mind as important as the President’s Inaugural Address.

4. Fight Club

Maybe he catches someone looking at him or in his general direction. This would be all he needs to jump up and announce he’s ready to fight. Deep down he probably knows the other person has no interest in fighting with him so he puts on a more flamboyant display of his well-crafted physique. He’s all show. His slap couldn’t hurt a fly, but being the jerk that he is, he wants everyone to believe he’s got the fighting spirit of a Roman gladiator in the body of a Greek god.

Now on the other hand, you have the jerks that have no problem actually fighting. They have less bloated showmanship and follow thru on their ridiculous threats. They’ll fight someone over anything and won’t leave the fight until pulled off by friends or the police. They’ll laugh over it for the next few months, especially if they were intoxicated. An intoxicated fight is somehow downright hilarious and deserves to be told and re-told to every friend and at every get-together–even if it’s in the church.

3. “Did it hurt?”

Jerk: “Did it hurt?”

Female: “Did what hurt?”

Jerk: “When you fell from Heaven…”

Not all guys who use pickup lines are jerks. There are the adorable, shy guys that do rely on pickup lines to try and start a conversation. You can tell the difference between a shy guy and a jerk within seconds of him opening his mouth.

The jerk will come across as overconfident and arrogant. The pickup lines will be either crude or cheesy. The jerk will continue to use the same pickup line over and over again. He might even forget he already used it on you and use it on you twice in one night!

Shy guys will only use cheesy pickup lines and might be stumbling over their words and shifting their weight back and forth as they talk to you. They aren’t jerks. They are just shy. Forgive them for they know not what they do!

2. Where’s Your Face?

Jerks spend all night with their phone in their face. They’re watching and sharing YouTube videos, taking selfies, texting, etc. Stop it! Put the phones down. To take a quote from the 1986 classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

Jerks don’t care what’s going on around them. They’re only interested in themselves. Having a phone shoved in your face all night just makes you a big jerk. It comes across like you are disinterested in anything or anyone around you.

1. Cheating

Yes, cheating on a significant other is definitely a jerk move but this isn’t just referring to only that form of cheating. Cheating during a CrossFit workout just so your name can be #1 on the leader board or taking credit for someone else’s work at the office are both definitely jerk moves.

If you’re going to cheat or you’re just keeping her around while you wait for something better…don’t! That’s a huge jerk move and that isn’t fair to her! Break things off. Clean break. Don’t pull the on-again-off-again thing. She’s not the one for you and you are so not the one for her.

Jerks cheat!

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