We have all done it. Well, most of us have anyway. Dating a crazy chick is sort of a rite of passage for guys. You haven’t really lived until you have done it, which is kind of a funny way to put it, because sometimes you won’t live after you have done it either. At first, it is always fun dating a crazy chick. They tend to like to party, and they are almost always good in the sack; most of them are even funny too. But then, sooner or later, you wake up one morning thinking about how much you want to break up with her, but you are kind of scared. And that is not a good feeling at all, my friends
I have dated numerous crazy chicks in my life; I am still friends with a few of them. Others I have blocked on social media and if I see them in real life I run across the street as fast as I can. How do you know, though, if the new woman in your life is totally nuts? Well, there are a lot of signs, I broke down 15 of them below, but I could have gone on forever.
The fact is, it is pretty easy to tell if the chick you are hanging out with is crazy. The issue is, do you really care? Because when it comes to women, once you go crazy, it’s hard to go back. Here are 15 signs you are dating a crazy chick.
15. She Is Always The Victim
This one is a big one. Of course, most of us have had bad things happen in our lives, and of course sometimes things have gone down that have hurt us. But when you are dating a crazy chick, it is everyone. It could be her parents that victimized her, it could be her boss or her coworkers, it could be her friends or it could be her ex-boyfriend. One thing for sure, it is never going to be her; it is always going to be someone else that caused the problem. So for a little while you are going to feel bad for her, maybe you will even want to protect her, but sooner or later you are going to figure out the pattern, and worst of all, you will realize that sooner or later she will be sitting around telling all the same sorts of stories about you.
14. She Hates All Her Exes
A lot of us don’t like our exes. That is normal, for the most part anyway. Maybe your ex cheated on you, maybe he or she was not nice to you, or maybe your ex lied to you all the time. But here is a pro tip. If she does not like any of her exes at all, then it is not the exes, it is her. A sane woman should at least have one ex that she still gets along with. Remember what I said about being a victim? Also, she will have a lot of them. If a woman has been divorced or engaged two times or more, then you should run. Or also, if when you go out to the local bar, it seems like she has dated half the guys in the room and has a problem with every single one of them? Yeah, dump her as soon as possible.
13. She Says Everyone Doesn’t Like Her
I am sure you are starting to see a trend here. It is not just that she does not get along with people, it is that it is always someone else’s fault. I mean, she is just so nice all the time right? Why is it that people don’t like her? Oh, maybe it is because she is totally crazy, do you think that could be it? Another thing to look out for is a lot of intense but really short friendships. Like her social media is just blowing up with all of these different posts and photos about her and a certain friend doing things all of the time and then all of a sudden that friendship is over. Here is the thing, if you like her and think she is great but she is telling you that no one else does, who do you think is wrong, you or everybody else?
12. She Hates Her Coworkers
This is assuming your crazy girlfriend has a job of course. Another big sign of a crazy chick is that she either is not working, or can never hold a job for very long. But if she does in fact have a job, then if she truly is a crazy chick she probably tells you constantly about how awful somebody is at work, and how she is so much better at her job then this other person. Just like in every other situation you are probably going to feel badly for her at first and listen to her patiently. Then sooner or later you are going to tire of her constantly telling you about all of the awful things going on at her job, then finally you are going to realize that there actually are no awful things going on, and that she is just totally insane.
11. She Spies On You
Here is something that is good knowledge to have, not just with crazy chicks, but with people in general. Suspicious people usually tend to be suspects. People that are paranoid about others stealing from them,are often thieves themselves. On the same note, crazy chicks that do all sorts of crazy things, and would bang any of your friends in a heartbeat, are often really suspicious that you would do the same thing. They are constantly going through your phone and your email, and are always questioning you about where you have been, what you have been doing, and who you have been doing it with. If you are dating someone who is overly suspicious, she is probably a crazy chick.
10. She Gets Attached Too Soon
We all know this type. Maybe you have gone out once or twice, and maybe the last time you went out you got lucky and spent the night. Then you went back over to her place again the next night, because you had so much fun. To you this is just having fun and seeing where things are going to go. To her, you guys are going out and probably going to get married. She starts calling you “baby” and looking deeply into your eyes all the time. She wants to meet your folks and when you sleep over on a workday she starts making you lunch all the time. Now maybe to you this all sounds like fun. If so, it is probably because you have not gone out with a crazy girlfriend. I promise you that if you have you would feel differently.
9. She Has No Female Friends
This is a rule that applies to every single crazy chick since the beginning of time. Now, I am not saying here that a woman that does not have a lot of female friends is a crazy chick. I am saying that a woman that does not have any female friends is a crazy chick. This is a huge warning sign. And it does not count if she has no female friends but she hangs out with guys all the time that are “just friends.” Because they aren’t. They are guys that are either want to have sex with her, or have in the past and think that it might happen again. No matter how you slice it, if you are a woman and you have no female friends, you are a crazy chick. Don’t shoot the messenger.
8. She Parties Too Much
Personally, I like to party. Therefore, I have always attracted two kinds of women. There is the kind that wants to fix me and get me away from the party scene, and then there is the kind that wants to party right along with me. Sadly, I have to admit that no matter how much fun the latter are to hang out with, they are always, and I mean always, totally crazy. Now I am not talking about a woman that enjoys an occasional gin and tonic or a couple glasses of wine. I am talking about the chick that drinks all night, will try any drug put in front of her, and when she stays over, it always seems like you are missing a little bit of money from your wallet. Chicks that party a lot are awesome…if you are planning on never seeing them again.
7. She’s New Age To The Extreme
This one can be a bit tricky. Some chicks that are all new age are actually very down to earth. They look at things in a spiritual manner and they are not all into money or looks, and that is a good thing. But if her name is Clover, she is really into crystals, and she talks about how much she likes dragons, and puts all sorts of photos of herself up on social media doing yoga when she lives alone (yoga selfies are so uncool) you know that you are dating a crazy chick. This type of crazy chick is much less dangerous than many other types, but can be even more irritating than most. While you are not likely to have your tires slashed by this type, after you listen to her talk about astrology for a while, you will want to slash them yourself.
6. Insecure About Her looks
A crazy chick that is not that unattractive and is constantly insecure about how she looks is irritating. A crazy chick that is hot and is constantly insecure about her looks is absolutely unbearable. I had a girlfriend once that was totally gorgeous, but she always said she was too fat and was worried about being the hottest woman in the room. Listen, some of us guys may be shallow. Okay maybe almost all of us guys are shallow, but that is nothing compared to the way that some of these crazy chicks are when it comes to their looks. They blame guys for their insecurity, but in reality they do it all the time themselves. And hey, I am not talking about all women, I am just talking about crazy chicks. You know who you are. Actually, you probably don’t.
5. Calls And Texts Constantly
This type of crazy chick is super-irritating. Now I know some of it is cultural; some women of a certain age are used to being totally attached to their phone and they text their female friends this much too. When it gets irritating quickly though, is when they expect you to be the same way. Just because you text me 15 times an hour does not mean that I have to text you 15 times back, and if I don’t it does not mean that you can start texting me things like “where are you?” or worse “Are you okay?” I want to say “Well actually, I would be okay if you would just leave me alone for a few minutes. I just went to the store for some milk and am coming right back, I am not on some mining expedition in Iceland. Leave me alone for crying out loud!”
4. Gets Angry…A Lot
When I say that your crazy girlfriend gets angry, I am not talking about ignoring you, or even starting an argument. I am talking the type of angry that makes you have 911 on speed dial. I used to hang out with one crazy chick. She had everything on this list, partied too much, was great in bed, I could go on and on. But this one is what makes me think of her the most. One time she pulled over and tried to push me out of the car in the middle of nowhere, and another time, what seemed like a normal argument quickly turned into me ducking things that were being thrown at my head. Do not play around with this type of crazy chick, just end the relationship and run away as soon as you possibly can.
3. Really Adventurous In Bed
Listen, I hate to tell you this one. I really do. In fact, I almost left it out because it really does stink so much, but it is true. There is an old expression that goes something like “crazy in bed, crazy in the head” and I have to admit that this is true. All of the women, and I mean all of them, that were really adventurous in bed, that were up for anything at any time, well, all of them were crazy. Conversely the women that I have gone out with that held good jobs, were stable, and were the typical good marriage material types, all of them were pretty awful. If you are a woman you can get mad about me saying this all you want, but when you really think of it, it just makes sense. I am adventurous myself, and I am crazy as all get out.
2. Cries To Get Her Way
This one might need a little more explanation than some others in that there is nothing wrong with a woman who shows emotion and who cries when she is sad. What I am talking about is when someone manipulates you by faking a mental breakdown. If you have never seen this happen then congrats- you have never dated a crazy chick. Well, you should not be totally happy about that, there is the whole “good in bed” thing that you missed out on. Regardless, if you are dating someone that completely breaks down in hysterical tears every time some issue goes on that causes even a little bit of stress, then guess what, you are dating a crazy chick. But you probably knew that.
1. She Lies
This one should go without saying, but you know what? I am going to say it anyway. Now, you might not know this at first of course, it depends on how good she is at lying. But sooner or later you probably start catching her being dishonest. Some of these lies might be small, like where she went for lunch, others might be huge, like she might be lying about what she does for work, how much money she has, or even things like whether or not she has been married before. A good rule of thumb would be to get out of the relationship as soon as you catch her lying, even the very first time. You don’t owe her anything and if she is going to lie about something small, then something bigger is going to happen down the road. With crazy chicks, you always know something worse is on its way.