For those of us who like to have the whole world at our fingertips, Tinder is really the ideal app for meeting people. It’s an instant fix for anyone looking for love, friendship, or even just to break their boredom and check out the people in their area who have some common interests and are looking for someone to hang with. But for all of it’s up sides, Tinder and other apps and websites designed to help people meet each other can obviously be used by people in whatever way they choose, and you can never really be sure who you’re talking to until you meet them face to face. And hell, sometimes that regulation hottie you’re swiping right on isn’t who she seems to be. She isn’t even necessarily a she.
So how exactly do you suss who’s the real deal and who’s a faker? And how can you spot the difference between a girl who is just trying to put her best foot forward and a dude who’s trying to pull one over on you? You can never underestimate people’s level of crazy, and it’s no surprise that someone who uses an app like Tinder that allows them to play whoever they want to get someone else’s attention might mess with you, but there are some particular hallmark behaviors of dudes who are pretending to be chicks that are especially important to look out for, and that are much easier to spot once you know where to look. So what are the signs you need to see if you want to know if your Tinder date is actually a dude?
15. “She” Only Posts Steamy Photos
Okay, it’s not that unusual for a girl to want to look hot in the pictures she posts on social media, and she probably wants to look especially attractive in the photos she uses for dating sites and apps. But if she only puts overtly sexy come-hither shots in her Tinder profile, then something is amiss. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, especially if they’re trying to drum up some romantic interest, but if you’re swiping right on a girl who doesn’t have any pictures of herself doing normal human activities, then it’s time to consider who you might really be talking to. Even Victoria’s Secret models are posting images of themselves doing everyday things, so someone who only posts photos that belong in a Victoria’s Secret catalog isn’t trying to get your attention because she’s a real girl who wants a real connection. It’s an easy tactic to get a dude’s attention, which is why a dude trying to get some attention might go for it.
14. “She” Is Clearly Out Of Your League
Women have a bit of a reputation for caring more about interior beauty than exterior, which is a well-earned stereotype, generally speaking. And even if you’re a five, it’s not impossible to snag the attention of a ten. But apps like Tinder are all about the first impression, and frankly all about whether or not your picture makes her want to know more about you, or at least see a little more of you. So if you’re a Jonah Hill lookalike and getting swiped right by the next Megan Fox, it’s time to ask yourself if this match up is legit. There’s nothing wrong with swinging for the fences when it comes to dating, but a good rule of thumb is that if you’d be too intimidated to make a pass at her in person then you probably shouldn’t expect her to make a pass at you online.
13. “She” Likes It When You Immediately Take The Conversation To The “Next Level”
Tinder is all about making a romantic connection with someone new, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little “romance” to blossom from your Tinder matches. But the keyword there is connection. Any real girl, regardless of whether she’s looking for a longterm relationship or just a fun date or two, is looking for someone to hang out with that they at least think they could like. You both already know that you’re interested in some flirtation, so usually people want to look for some other common grounds to connect to each other on. Plus, when it comes to the ladies, a little politeness can go a long way. So if you jump into some conversation that wouldn’t make it past the censors within the first five minutes of chatting and she rolls with it or even raises the stakes, then there is a very decent chance that you’re not talking to a lady.
12. “She” Wants To Plan A Hookup Before You Even Meet
Generally speaking the social media dating game tends to favor women, but one major downside of apps like Tinder is that it completely flies in the face of the stranger danger fear that all women are socialized to have. Every girl on earth who has ever arranged a date with someone they haven’t met in person has considered the idea that she might be going out for a pleasant drink tonight and waking up in the morning being told to put the lotion in the basket or else she gets the hose again, so all girls like to take at least some basic safety concerns into consideration before meeting up with someone in private. So, if you meet a girl on Tinder who wants to meet you alone right off the bat and isn’t a 6’2″ Amazon with some serious training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, chances are that she isn’t actually a she.
11. “She” Sends You Generic Chat Bait
There are only so many ways to get a conversation going, so it’s to be expected that a girl might start off your interactions with some standard pleasantries. But Tinder is about finding people that you’re attracted to who share some of the same interests as you do, and the whole beauty of the app is that you get a quick list of someone’s greatest hits so you can decide whether or not you want to see more. So, if you’re talking to a woman who is legitimately interested in you as a person then she should actually demonstrate it in your conversation (as should you!). The personal info you include in your profile is an easy jumping off point for a good conversation, so if someone you’re talking to only says vaguely enticing things and never brings up anything specific to your profile then it’s a pretty obvious warning sign that you’re not talking to someone real.
10. “She” Doesn’t Have Any Other Social Media
Not everyone likes to link all of their social media accounts together, and it’s reasonable for some people to want to be a tad more cautious with an app that’s designed for meeting strangers. But if you’re chatting with a girl for more than a few days and have shared any significant personal information with each other, then it shouldn’t be that difficult to find her on Facebook or Twitter… that is, if she’s a real person. Luckily, in this day and age it’s almost impossible to have a photo that exists online that can’t be found with something like Google image search, so if you can’t find someone anywhere else besides on Tinder, or if you find someone’s Tinder photos that match up with someone else’s social media, then it’s a safe bet that you’re dealing with a fraud. And, if someone is willing to go to those lengths to catfish you, then there’s about a 50/50 chance that said catfish is a guy.
9. “She” Only Wants to Text
As I said, there’s probably a 50/50 shot that anyone trying to catfish you might be a dude, but there’s a pretty easy way to figure out which way that coin might land. Obviously the best way to know whether or not you’re dealing with someone who is who they say they are is by sharing some real time photos or video chatting with them, but you can at least pretty conclusively say whether or not you’re talking to a female if you hear someone’s voice. I guess there’s always a chance that you could be chatting with a girl who just hates talking on the phone, but if someone flat out refuses to speak to you ever then it should certainly arouse some suspicion. Even in the best case scenario you’re talking to a girl who you can never actually talk to in real life, but the more likely situation is that you’re not talking to a girl at all.
8. “She” Agrees With Everything You Say
If a woman is interested in you obviously she’s going to try to find some common ground to relate to you on, but conversing with a yes man (or yes woman) is unrealistic and ultimately kind of a snooze. And I guess it’s always possible that you could get really lucky and find someone who is your absolute perfect match in every single way, but the likelihood of swiping right on someone who agrees with you on absolutely everything is pretty small. Plus, most people who are trying to meet someone new want to create an actual conversation, so someone who isn’t adding their own input into the discussion and is just agreeing with everything you say and telling you what you want to hear is more that a bit suspect. As the old saying goes, if something sounds too good to be true then it probably is, so if someone is telling you everything you want to hear then what you should be hearing is a warning bell.
7. “She” Never Has Any New Photos
Some people consider vanity to be a sin, but even the most pious women enjoy taking the occasional selfie and sharing their new haircut or awesome girl’s night out on social media, so if you’re checking out a Tinder profile that has a fixed few photos to share then you’re almost certainly looking at a fake. If someone is continually active on any kind of social media then it’s to be expected that their social media will change and grow as time goes on. But if someone is continually active on something like Tinder but nothing about their profile ever changes or updates then it’s definitely a reason to be concerned. In this day and age it’s downright bizarre to be off the social media grid, and it makes no sense to sign up for Tinder without putting it to good use, so if someone’s profile is stagnant for a long time then they’re either not using the app at all or they’re not who they say they are.
6. “She” Describes Herself As Your Fantasy Girl
You know, it’s actually really easy to spot a real woman versus a fake baiting profile of a girl sometimes, because real girls usually sound like real girls. It’s awesome to find the profile of a girl who shares a lot of your interests or has the same sense of humor, and it’s certainly not impossible to find a great match with a real person on Tinder. But if you meet a lady who seems to be telling you everything you could possibly want to hear then it should set off some alarm bells for you. Women are people, not toys at Build a Bear Workshop, so if the woman you’re chatting with seems to tick off every box you ask her about then “she” is almost certainly lying to you. And there’s a reason that they’re called “fantasy girls,” because they’re a fantasy that exists in the minds of dudes. So then, if you’re talking to the kind of woman who only exists in a man’s fantasy, who do you think you might really be talking to?
5. “She” Asks For Photos In The First Convo
Okay, maybe you’re hotter than Chris Hemsworth/Pratt/Evans/Pine combined, and some girls can’t help themselves from asking for more. But even if you’re a perfect 10, it would be a little strange for a real girl to ask you for sexy photos in your first interaction for a couple of reasons. Firstly, women get a metric ton of unsolicited photos from dudes on dating apps all the time. Most ladies wouldn’t even think to ask for them because they already get more than they’re looking for without asking, and because frankly some guys can get really aggressive if they think a woman is even slightly interested in them. So even if you’re super hot, any normal girl would probably want to get a read on you personally before taking the conversation to that level. Secondly, a lot of women DO get guys asking for personal pictures in the first conversation, and it’s usually really off-putting. Real women aren’t going to ask you to do something that they’ve been asked to do and didn’t like being asked to do.
4. “She” Asks You For Something Before You’ve Met
If hundreds of people were gullible enough to fall for a heartfelt plea from a Nigerian prince, then it stands to reason that some of the more unscrupulous people in the world might try some smaller scale scams to get something out of a few unsuspecting victims. And honestly, if someone wanted to do that then playing off someone’s emotions and desires would be a pretty effective way to get what you’re after. People looking for love often focus on the good aspects of their romantic prospects and minimize the bad, but if someone is asking you to do something significant for them or to give them something significant before you’ve even met face to face, then it’s time to ask yourself if the person you’re talking to is really after a love connection. And since women tend to get more attention on social media dating sites than men do, it’s only logical for scammers to pretend they’re a girl and see how many men will fall for their scam.
3. “She” Says She’s Not Like Other Girls
Well, of course there’s the pretty obvious interpretation of this statement. Clearly if you’re a dude then you’re certainly not like the other girls on Tinder, who are presumably actually girls. But trying to play the “cool girl” is so last season, and anyone who sees women as something more than a hive-minded monolith of Stepford wives wouldn’t look at themselves as some kind of non-girl. Real girls have girlfriends, and sisters, and aunts, and moms, and they actually see all of these women in their lives as fully formed people that they have commonalities and differences with. Real women know that there are lots of women like them, so if you’re talking to someone who says that they’re a girl who is the lone special snowflake out of all of womankind, then they are most likely not a woman. And not only are they probably a man, they’re probably kind of a jerk.
2. “She” Swipes Right On Everyone
The social media dating game for men vs. women tends to look a lot like the dating game of quantity vs. quality. Men like to throw out a line to nearly every woman that appeals to them, but women tend to be a lot more selective about the bait that they want to take. And honestly, why wouldn’t they be? If Tinder is your own personal boy buffet, why would you stuff your face like it’s your last meal on earth? A lot of women are inundated with dating offers as soon as they sign up with a dating app, but even those who aren’t can afford to be a little selective and actually go for the guys who appeal to them specifically. So if you meet a lady who apparently likes every man she lays eyes on, it’s a definitely a red flag that something here isn’t quite right.
1. “She” Has No Real Info In Her Profile
It’s normal for anyone to want to create a playful profile to catch someone’s eye, and it’s even more normal for people to want to hold some information close to the vest on social media profiles that anyone and everyone can see if they want to. But if a lady has no real identifying information in her profile then it’s more than a bit sketchy. Any real live girl is going to have some tidbit of real personal information on her profile, and if she doesn’t, then at best she’s just browsing Tinder for fun and has no plans to meet anyone in real life, and at worst she probably doesn’t exist at all. Every girl wants to create her own online safety net, but if the girl you’re checking out is harder to pin down than James Bond, then it’s probably not because she doesn’t want to be found, but because she can’t be found.
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