Relationships are a beautiful thing, because they have a way of making people develop feelings that words can’t express. People start getting into romantic relationships as soon as adolescence kicks in, and they start developing lovely feelings of infatuation towards the people they admire or those they feel closest to. Although everyone has his or her own experiences when it comes to relationships, we can all agree that the feelings that result, especially in a new relationship are so great that we wish they could last forever.
In a bid to explain their conduct or feelings in relationships, people have come up with ways of labeling situations in ways that are not necessarily true. The problem in passing a blanket label over a relationship situation is that every relationship is different, and something that works in one relationship might not necessarily work in another.
For example, people have these common beliefs that “all men are dogs,” meaning that they will always cheat on their women at some point, or that women are overly possessive and jealous. Although a number of men, regardless of how big or small, have cheated on their women, and a number of women are overly jealous, it is not fair to assume that all men and women follow suit.
These are 15 conclusions that people often make about relationships that are not necessarily true – and believing them can end up driving you insane. In fact, people have no reason to believe in these 15 myths, because they are often misleading and can cause a good relationship to turn into a disaster.
15. Since Someone Loves You, He Or She Will Never Leave You
Do you believe that love conquers all? It is true; love is the solution to all the problems we face in the world. The way of love demands that we love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves, and do the same to those that consider us their enemies.
Love is the language that everyone on the planet understands, and when an individual repays hate for love, he or she has already won whatever battle was supposed to ensue. However, when it comes to relationships, it is immoral to carry yourself irresponsibly due to the fact that you know that your partner will bear it because he or she loves you.
The truth behind love conquering all lies in accepting the other person for who he or she is, not in expecting the other person to accept you when all you are being is selfish and insensitive. Believing that someone will never leave you just because he or she loves you is a myth, on the contrary, he or she might leave you because he or she loves you too much to begin hating you.
14. The Best Relationships Are Between Two Opposites
Are you one of those people who believes that you can only fall for a man or a woman who is very different from whom you are? Numerous people believe this, which is one of the reasons you will find church girls going out with the most rebellious boys in town. However, this rule might apply to magnets, but it is not a fact when it comes to relationships.
The truth is that people who are different from us look attractive and fascinating in a way, but that should not be enough reason to get into a relationship with them. The relationship might be fun and exciting in its initial stages but, as it progresses, the chances that the two will drift apart are high.
Being with someone like you will definitely lead to much less friction, your shared core values will make the other person a strong support for you, and the similarities will eventually lead to more positivity in the relationship.
13. Couples Who Go Through Premarital Counseling Have Better Marriages
It is very important for a couple to go through premarital counseling classes before they get married, because these classes prepare them for what to expect and how to conduct themselves in marriage. However, going through premarital counseling classes does not automatically mean that a couple will have a happier and longer marriage compared to one that did not.
Premarital counseling, just like any other form of counseling, requires people to make a deliberate effort to solve their problems. Therefore, since a couple does not receive a secret formula to solving problems and avoiding divorce, they are not necessarily better off than those who do not go through it.
The important thing is for the two people in a relationship to try to understand each other to the best of their abilities. Holding on to the traditional pillars of marriage, which include love, communication, and understanding, will surely lead to success – whether a couple went through premarital counseling or not.
12. If He Truly Loves Me, He Should Know How I Feel
This often applies to women in relationships, where they suddenly shut down and expect the men in their lives to automatically know what’s going on. In many instances, men are to blame for the cold war, because they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. However, expecting the men to know what their women need and how they feel might be a tall order.
The fact that someone is in love with you does not automatically mean they know how you feel all the time or even have the slightest idea of what you need. In fact, we cannot claim to know that we understand what we feel all the time or even know what we need, so how can we expect someone else to know?
11. The Romance Never Fades In People Who Are Truly In Love
When you fall in love with someone, the excitement that comes with the new relationship is amazing, a feeling that we always hope will last forever. However, this feeling is temporary and is largely due to the release of pleasure chemicals in our brains, which fade as we become more familiar with our partners.
People often interpret the end of the excitement and romance as a sign that the relationship should end, which is a terrible way of looking at a relationship. Anyone who is mature enough for a long-term relationship knows that the lovely feelings and romance need rekindling and that both parties have their part to play.
If you think that the romance in your relationship will never end, you believe in a myth that will land you in great disappointment. However, you can fan the flame of romance once again by doing the things that the two of you love doing.
10. Shacking Up Will Help You Prepare For Marriage
For people who might not know what “shacking up” is, this term refers to people living together before getting married. The idea behind this “living together” is to determine whether the person you are thinking of getting married to is the right person for you.
However, studies show that the couples who live together before marriage are less likely to marry compared to people in a relationship who have never lived together. In addition, the couples who eventually get married tend to be less committed and less satisfied in their marriages compared to those who did not live together. Besides, the period that the couple spends living together is what is supposed to be the honeymoon phase, and they end up starting their marriage from a more difficult phase.
Furthermore, couples who eventually get married after living together do so because they already have children or because they are used to sharing rent, as opposed to getting married just because they want to get married.
9. Fearing That You Might Be With the Wrong Person Is a Sign That You Need To End It
Some people end relationships as soon as they start fearing that they might be dating the wrong person. Although it is important to go with our gut feeling, we should know when to follow it and when to ignore it. Whenever you feel uncertain when it comes to the person you love, it is important to investigate and find out if what you are feeling is real or not.
It is common for people to feel uncertain when it comes to making the decision of whom to spend the rest of their lives with, but the doubts often have little to do with the other person. If you are one of those people who fear commitment or being vulnerable to someone, then you will feel those feelings regardless of whom you are with.
The best course of action here is to deal with your fears or insecurities and then make the right decision about your relationship. If the problem is with the other person, then you might need to end it.
8. Love-Making, In-Laws And Money Are the Leading Causes Of Fighting Among Couples
What would you say is the leading cause of fighting and/or divorce in married couples? Fighting to the extent of considering divorce is serious, and this means that the cause of such fights has to be huge. Although some of the biggest fights that couples go through are linked to sex, in-laws, and money, they might not necessarily be the cause of most of the fights.
You will be surprised to find out that couples fight over the smallest of things, resulting from their inability to connect emotionally. One person might be saying something, but his or her loved one might understand those words in a very different way.
Although these three are common causes for divorce, a couple needs to learn how to deal with the little fights that usually make no sense. The small senseless fights often push two people in a relationship further from each other, and leave them vulnerable to divorce.
7. Having A Baby Will Solve All Our Problems
When couples are saying their marriage vows, they innocently commit to sticking with each other through sorrows and in good times, with the only thing that can separate them being death. However, since every couple goes through challenges in the relationship that they feel are unique only to them, they tend to forget their vows and choose to let the smallest things come between them.
Childless couples who keep fighting might think that the solution to their problems is having a baby – a solution that barely works, if ever. Although a baby is a bundle of joy, it can complicate a relationship even further.
Raising a child is a lot of work and, in addition to taking up almost all the time for the relationship, most couples express higher levels of marital dissatisfaction upon the birth of their first child. Therefore, a baby might actually cause more problems as opposed to solving any of them.
6. People Who Love Each Other Do Not Hurt Each Other
We often believe that there is no way that someone can claim to love us and then do anything to hurt us. This belief is usually uninformed, because human beings are not perfect and they will eventually let you down. So when your loved one hurts you, will you leave them? Furthermore, will you expect them to forgive you when you hurt them, or will it be a sign that you do not care for them anymore?
Everyone in a relationship needs to understand that, more often than not, the mistakes that people make are about their shortcomings, and are not necessarily a malicious plot to hurt their loved ones. Actually, people usually try to do everything they can to avoid hurting each other, it is just that they eventually fail and end up doing so.
5. Good Communication = Happy Relationship
You must have heard that good communication is the key to a successful relationship, which is true, most of the time. For a relationship to work out, a couple needs more than just great communication skills, so we can correctly say that good communication is one of the keys to a successful relationship.
However, it is important to understand that, in a relationship, over-communicating can strain it to the point of even breaking it. This means that it’s a good idea to shut up at times for the sake of the relationship.
If your partner talks in their sleep, leaves the toilet seat up, wears too much makeup, or refuses to cook or clean, it is a good idea to talk about it at first, but let go of the issue as soon as you realize that talking is not helping. It would be easier for you to know that the person you are in love with or building a future with has some weaknesses that you can live with.
4. Jealousy Is a Sign That You Truly Love Your Partner
Many people think that one way of knowing whether they truly love their partners is by developing feelings of jealousy in relation to how their partners act around their friends or strangers. However, jealousy is never a good thing, because it can kill a relationship faster than anything else can.
If your man looks at another woman and appreciates how she looks, it is important to see his compliments for what they are, and not to see as if he has an agenda with her. Jealousy makes someone look far less attractive than he or she truly is, and it is a sign of insecurity.
A great way of beating jealousy is being confident about who you are and just how valuable you are. The moment you start believing or acting as if other people are more valuable than you are, or that your man or woman values someone else more than he or she values you, you are setting yourself up for failure.
3. Having More Money Will Make The Relationship Happier
A couple can be tempted to think that the reason they are not as happy as they thought they would be is that they do not have enough money in the bank to fund a happy lifestyle. Since a couple doesn’t live in the big house they wanted to live in or drive the cars they wanted to drive, this can be used as an excuse for a failing relationship – an excuse that is as ridiculous as it sounds.
Although external factors have some impact on our relationships, they are not the only reasons why a couple is failing. Many couples think that if they had more money, children, or even time, things would be great, but that is not necessarily the case.
Often, people need to look into their relationships to find solutions to their problems. External factors, even if they were to turn out as we would want them to, would never resolve the conflicts or result in a drastic improvement in the relationship.
2. Conflict Will Usually Lead To a Breakup
It is a common belief or assumption that, if two people love each other deeply, they will never fight, because disagreements and fights are a sign of incompatibility and a failing relationship. However, the above belief or assumption has very little truth in it (if any).
Regardless of how compatible two people are, they will have to go through conflict at some stage in their relationship. The fact that two people in a relationship are unique beings is enough to lead them to some form of conflict, because they have grown up under different influences and gone through different experiences to become who they are.
Therefore, since it is not possible to avoid conflict, it is important to realize that it can bring the two people closer if they decide to handle it in a mature and healthy way. Therefore, conflicts are part of relationships, and it is up to a couple to decide whether they want the conflicts to end the relationship or to help build it.
1. Getting Married Will Solve All Our Problems
This is possibly the worst myth anyone can believe, because marriage is not a solution to any problem, but a commitment to sticking together despite the problems. Many people expect that when a person gets married, he or she will stop cheating, stop drinking, or stop doing something else that the other person absolutely hates – expectations that will always fall through.
Although people get married for all sorts of reasons, the only reasons that should matter above all others are whether the two are truly in love with each other and whether the two can tolerate each other. If one of the parties in a relationship cannot live with the other person as they are, then there is no reason why they should get married in the first place.
People often continue to be exactly the same as they were before getting married, a fact that people with terrible misconceptions need to understand.