If long-term romance has eluded you or if you want to know how to hold on to that good woman you have, then you should keep reading.
Men are usually simple creatures of comfort. Women, however, are a bit more complicated and any little thing you say, don’t say, do, or don’t do, could change her mood and land you on the couch or in the dog house.
We have compiled a comprehensive list which can serve more as a guide to help you keep her and not drive her into the arms of another man. There is no guarantee that she won’t be looking for love in all the wrong places, but you can reduce those odds. If you read our list and take our advice, you will lessen the chances of doing something stupid and winding up having to take cold showers and perhaps constant arguing before bed.
Since the list was limited to 15 things, we didn’t include “not being a dummy.” This should go without saying that a man needs to get an education. No woman wants a dunce. The Beatles may have said, “All you need is love,” but there’s a bunch of stuff you need to do, and not to do, to keep that love.
Love is blind. These rules can apply to same-sex couples as well. The J. Geils Band was wrong. Love doesn’t have to stink, and Nazareth was wrong because love doesn’t have to hurt.
15. Romance Her
Sometimes, she may want to just get down and dirty. But most times, this is not the case. She wants to be romanced. Don’t just expect to take your clothes off and get down to business. A nice candlelight dinner is a good start. Send her flowers, and not only when you are present to get the rewards. Send them to her at work or give her a lovely single rose when you guys go out to eat. Telling her you love her while you watch football, drink beer, and eat pizza is not her idea of romance. Take note of that! Take her to a movie and park a block or two away so you can walk to the theater together. While you’re at it, hold her hand along the way. Write her a poem or a love letter and leave it on her pillow. This is especially good because the next time you upset her, she will recall that poem or letter and read it again. The next thing you know, everything has turned out better. This is the gift that keeps on giving…to you.
14. Show Interest
Ask her about her day. Get to know her likes and dislikes and show her you know them in subtle ways. If you guys are out ordering and you know she likes her drink to be ice cold, tell the waiter to put more ice when you order her favorite beverage. If she doesn’t like certain spices, speak up. She will notice that you were paying attention. Not knowing her is a sure-fire way to push her away. She wants someone who notices her and cares about her wants and needs. Ask questions so you can better understand the situation as it makes you appear interested. If you don’t pay attention to her, she will find someone else who will take the time to notice her, and mind you, they are out there looking. A woman will often want you to know what’s going on with her without ever telling you. She wants you to be sensitive enough to know what is wrong without her having to tell you about it. If you are paying attention, you will do just fine.
13. Listen To Her
Listening is different from paying attention to her. At least, it is different to her. Paying attention involves noticing her. Listening to her is about letting her vent and gossip about the neighbors. When she wants you to hear her, she will tell you what’s wrong. You won’t need to guess as with paying attention to her. Listen to her when she speaks and indicate that you are listening with eye contact and an “all right” or “wow” as she blabs all this nonsense you don’t care about. Don’t play video games while she’s talking either. This will make things bad for you. As we said, listening and paying attention are two very different things in the world of women, but they go hand in hand with each other. You can pay attention to her and hear the words, “You’re not listening to me!” You can also listen to her and be told, “You’re not paying attention!” We don’t make the rules, THEY DO. So, pay attention and listen, or she is going to seek the attention and the ears of another.
12. Love Stinks…Don’t You Stink, Too
Boys will be boys. They will often wear the same shirt or shorts for several days in a row. Women do not like this as they clearly want a man who’s clean and presentable. They want other women to see you and be jealous of her having you. Be clean, wear clean clothes, and spray some sexy cologne on yourself. Even if you are a construction worker who gets dirty at work all day, when you come home, take a shower. Let her notice that you are bone-weary and dirty from working hard, but now that you’re at home with her, it’s time to take care of yourself. Stay neat. Stay groomed. Trim your beard if you have one. You don’t want her complaining about your stubble, do you? Clip those claw-like toenails and get rid of the dirt (that’s probably been there for ages) under your fingernails. If you’re always a dirt bag, she may come home to you at night, but occasionally, she is going to look for something different. You certainly don’t want that to happen.
11. Get Off Your Lazy Butt
If you are among the few men who have a sugar momma because you are the boy toy, that’s totally fine. However, you can’t force her to be your sugar momma unless it is something you know she wants because she told you. So, quit being a lazy S-L-O-B and go out there and get a job. This is a two-way street, though. You don’t want a high maintenance gold digger who expects you to work while she goes shopping and gets mani-pedis every day. Again, that is unless this is the type of relationship you both want. If she is the sugar momma or you are the sugar daddy, both cases are unhealthy. This only goes to show that you guys are superficial with low morals. She is probably going to cheat on you in both instances because she has no character. You won’t care in this case because you have no character either and you are probably cheating on her too. You should both be contributing to the relationship. Keep that in mind.
10. Don’t Go Broke
This is another one of those situations that seem like something else but isn’t. You can work and have a good job but still have no money. Do not…I repeat, DO NOT…live beyond your means. You need to manage your finances and show responsibility for unforeseen situations. This is called providing financial security. If she doesn’t feel safe, then she will definitely seek it elsewhere. Don’t spend all your money on video games and sports collectibles. You need to have money in the bank. Having no money creates a different mood as having some cash in your hands does. You don’t need money to be happy, but you need money to be secure. You can make her happy without the greens, but you can’t make her feel secure. This is not a risk you should take because eventually, she may grow up and want that security. If you can’t provide it, someone else can. And if she does find that someone, you’ll definitely be landing into the dumpster.
9. Hold Her To Hold On To Her
You need to snuggle sometimes. Just like in the game of chess, you may need to sacrifice a piece. That piece is, well, your piece. If you can tell that she had a rough day and is not “in the mood,” then suggest holding her. She will reward you for being extra-sensitive to her needs and desires. You should also hold her after “the act” sometimes. Do not just turn over and go to sleep. Some guys are jerks at heart. There is not one guy out there who does this because he just wants to. Sometimes, it just comes out naturally. You sure don’t want some other guy cuddling her, do you? So before some other guy does, make sure you do it first. The best defense is a good offense.
8. Sensitivity Training
It’s okay to cry when the puppy dies at the end of the movie. Just make sure she sees it and don’t be a jerk about it. You are a guy, so you don’t always have to tell the truth. Tell her you were out with the guys and you saw a kid on the street that looked so sad you had to fight back the tears, so your buds didn’t see you. This makes you look sensitive and vulnerable. It humanizes you and puts you at her level of civilization rather than looking always like a gorilla. Tell her it is a beautiful day or send her a text that you wish she has a great day because she deserves it. All of this encompasses sensitivity. Accept diversity and the differences of others. Open the door for an old person and make a kid smile if you want to keep her smiling.
7. She Can’t Get No Satisfaction
We shouldn’t have to tell you this one. If you can’t satisfy her under the sheets, you can be certain that someone else will. This doesn’t necessarily refer to the size or the motion in the ocean either. You need to make sure her needs are met in bed. It’s not only about you. Don’t get angry or scratch your head wondering where you went wrong if you are selfish in bed. You may need to do things you don’t like to do, but that’s part of a relationship. Unless you want to be Hand-Solo, take care of her in this area.
6. Remember Those Important Dates
This covers several categories. If you don’t remember her birthday or your anniversary, then you are no other than an insensitive jerk. This is okay because you probably really are an insensitive jerk. The key is that you don’t want her to know that you are or ever let her see that side of you. Do what you need to do so you can commit these dates to memory. This is all part of being sensitive, knowing her, and paying attention. The entire world knows when Valentine’s Day is. Your girl won’t be immune to cheating if you are among those who don’t know when Valentine’s Day is. This falls under the “not knowing her and not noticing her” category and makes you appear selfish.
5. Never Talk About Your Exes
She does not want to hear about your ex-girlfriends or your conquests, even if she does ask. She is testing the waters and trying to get a confession out of you. If you ever make the fatal mistake of saying someone else’s name during intimate moments, you can forget it—all bets are off. If you are stupid enough to call someone else’s name out during this time, she is likely going to do the same. The only difference is that she will be with that someone else when she does it.
4. Don’t Look At Other Girls
DO NOT get caught looking at other girls. I repeat… DO NOT GET CAUGHT. We would say just don’t do it, but we know you can’t help it (you are only human). The old rule of “you can look, but you can’t touch” is a trap. The truth is, you can’t even look. They just say that to trick you into looking. If you are always looking, she will “one-up” you by looking and probably even touching. Don’t even think about it, because she knows what you are thinking.
3. Be Good To Your Mother
You can tell if a man is good by the way he treats his mother. No matter what personal differences you and your mother have had growing up, she is the reason you are here. She carried you in her belly. She changed your diapers, clothed you, and fed you. You also need to treat her mother good and get along with her, too. Don’t get too close to her mother though, or your girl will feel like you are ganging up on her. If you are not good to your mother, she will have doubts about the relationship and go looking for an upgrade.
2. Maker Her Laugh
Women like a sense of humor in guys. Although, this absolutely does not mean cracking jokes about others and picking on them because this makes you look like a complete jerk. Make jokes about yourself once in a while, too. This shows that you do not think you are perfect and recognize your flaws. Have you ever heard about the healing power of laughter? If you can’t put a smile on her face with humor, then you probably can’t please her in other areas. She will recognize this and get it on the open market of love.
1. Kill Her With Kindness
This should apply to every aspect of your life, and not just in love. Most girls do not like jerks, so don’t be one. Embrace diversity and the differences of others. Be open-minded and practice positive thinking. Try to recognize thinking errors and correcting them. Approach situations with an open mind. Practice things like compromise, caring, understanding, and empathy. This will make you a better person, and you will get further in every aspect of your life. If you try to live by this single rule over all others, everything else will fall into place.