The issue of what husbands and wives talk about is a slippery slope sometimes. What to watch on television, where to eat for dinner and what movie to go see are all pretty safe ground. But when the conversation turns to certain topics, that’s when things start to change. There are dozens of things that men know not to ask their wives. We, men, get the handbook early in life that details the many things you can’t ask your girlfriend or wife. We know to always avoid questions like “have you put on some weight?”
But no one should for one second think that there aren’t some touchy subjects that women don’t want to touch with a ten foot pole either! While men have a tendency to be a little less touchy about most topics, that’s not always the case and there are more than a few questions that we sure don’t want to get asked! In the spirit of full disclosure and keeping an open and honest line of communication though, I’m more than happy to address the elephant in the room and talk a bit about those subjects. So here it goes…15 questions that ALL wives are too chicken to ask their husbands!
15. The Mystery Of Mr. Johnson
So I am going to lump all questions about the lower floor of the male mechanics into one. It fascinates women to no end that men walk around accompanied by “Mr. Johnson” all day. One secret that men harbor though is that we really do not have much knowledge of what others are working with besides ourselves. Male restroom code of conduct requires us to keep our eyes on the wall and under no circumstances are we to look around! We are a little sensitive about anything related to this particular topic of conversation and greatly appreciate it if we can keep the topic of conversation AWAY from this general area. Wives, please understand that while we know you probably have lots of questions, the best bet is to Google your questions. It’s nothing we are really comfortable discussing.
14. Are You Really Sad When I Cry?
So every now and again ladies need their husbands to be there for them when they get a bit emotional. There are many reasons why a wife would cry and without getting into the gender role debate too much, let’s just establish that typically ladies are willing to cry a little more than men. The question that burns in the back of the minds of most wives is: Does he really care if I am crying. Simply put… it just depends on why you are crying. Men can’t always be sympathetic to an emotion that we don’t understand, but the safe answer is definitely that your husband/partner is upset that you are feeling sad. But please do not get mad at him for not crying along with you.
13. How Do I Look? (And Mean It)
This is the age old trap that husbands tend to find themselves facing. Every husband knows that the answer to this question is always with something very positive. When wives ask the question, they already know what the answer will be from their husband or partner. But what about the women that really want to know and would want an honest answer? They are scared to ask for the truth because they are afraid of the Pandora’s Box that could be opened if the answer was anything but amazing! On the other side of that coin, husbands will ask the same question every now and again and get a totally honest answer from the wife. Sure, this is a big double standard, but honestly, husbands have gotten pretty used to it by now.
12. Are You Attracted to Anyone Else?
Insecurity in relationships is nothing new and it is not uncommon. Wives (and husbands also for that matter) never ask this question because they are afraid of what the answer will bring. Truthfully though, it is pretty normal for all people in relationships to still find others “attractive” but the difference between noticing a person’s attractiveness and dwelling upon it are two different things. But wives seem to often feel even more insecure in this area and are often way too afraid to ask this question. Honestly, husbands don’t really want to know either, so the question tends to be neutral ground that is usually avoided. But if the subject ever does come about and the question is asked, be open and be honest. Your relationship will be stronger for the honesty.
11. Are You Excited When I Call?
Talking on the phone is so 20th century! Well, there are still people that enjoy this lost art, though I can’t imagine why. Still, there are wives the world over calling their husbands to chit chat and see what’s happening. Now ladies, please understand that most men do not enjoy talking at length on the telephone. Still, husbands and boyfriends love to keep the peace and they also want to make sure that you are generally always happy. So when you call, we always act very glad to hear your beautiful voice. But the answer to the question “are you excited when I call” is (if we’re being honest) a big no, if you intend to linger on the phone. It’s not that your man doesn’t enjoy your voice or talking to you, it’s just that the phone isn’t how he wants to accomplish this.
10. Do You Want Another Baby?
The answer to the “do you want any more children” question isn’t always “no.” But the reason wives are scared to death to ask the question is because of the unknown. Chances are ladies, if you are curious about this, then you are probably wanting or at least considering the idea of having another child. Because of this, the wife would desperately hope that her husband is on the same page as her. If this is not the case then it opens up a big can of worms and leaves the potential for some big disappointment. So this question remains one of the biggest ones that lingers out there for wives. Sure, they’ll eventually get the courage to discuss the topic, but it is not at all an easy subject.
9. Do You Still Love Me?
On a very serious note, this particular question is absolutely terrifying for wives. Truth be told, it is terrifying for husbands also. Husbands are just as scared as women to ask and both wives and husbands are extremely afraid of what will happen if they get “no” as an answer. So many couples just keep trudging along unhappy and with no spark because they are afraid to communicate with one another. No one asks this very important but very terrifying question! If wives and husbands would prepare themselves for the honest answer and not overreact at the answer, they could plan for next steps. Either moving on or rebuilding the love are the only options, but being honest with one another to answer that basic question is very important.
8. Could You Please Make More Money?
Men have a gender role (for better or worse) established in most societies as being the primary financial provider. Every man doesn’t make a lot of money though and money is very often a huge point of argument in marriages. One thing that wives are really not comfortable asking their husbands is if they could just make more money. Sometimes this comes in the form of asking if they would look for a higher paying job. Sometimes it comes in the form of telling their husband to ask for a raise at work. Either way, it sends a message of inferiority and it drives men crazy! This is not a conversation that men want to have, but yet a lack of income puts a huge strain on a marriage. The “not enough money” club has a lot of members…so it’s a common tale.
7. Do You Like My Parents?
So wives, if you are not really close to or fond of your parents, then this may not be a burning issue, but for those of you that love, cherish and are close to your parents, you undoubtedly want your husband to feel the same way. Most wives in this situation just go on blissfully believing that everything is ok and their husband loves their parents just as much as they do. But deep down, wives are way too afraid to have this conversation and ask the question, for fear of a negative answer. How can the marriage be strong if he doesn’t like your parents and appreciate them as much as you? The bottom line is that the marriage will still be fine whether the husband loves your parents or not. The marriage is about the two of you…not the parents.
6. Am I Less Attractive Than When We Started Dating?
This is another question similar to “do I look okay?” Feel free to ask the question: “Am I less attractive than when we started dating?” The answer will undoubtedly be “of course not honey!” If the husband is smart he’ll say “no sweetie, you are more attractive.” But what scares women to no end is the idea of negativity. This isn’t a question that women usually want an honest answer to, but it is a very scary subject. Wives want to be attractive, for their own self esteem, but also to still look great for their husbands. The easiest thing to do is just avoid the question all together, just in case of getting the answer you don’t want. But truthfully, if you have a good relationship with your husband it won’t matter.
5. Can I Take a Trip Without You?
Husbands and wives get to a point where they don’t have to be with each other all the time. They crave some time alone every now and again and for good reason. But what about when wives want to go on vacation with friends, family or even…alone? Taking a trip (especially for leisure) without your husband is something of a touchy subject. What will he say…and will he be offended or angry? Asking for that time away could be taken out of context and wives are very afraid of that. Truthfully though, if you are honest and ask, the answer will likely not be as scary as you think. Regardless, you’re a grown woman and have every right to have some alone time or time with others if you want!
4. Have You Ever Cheated?
This is such a scary question to ask. If this is a question that creeps its way into the mind of a wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend, it is hard to get it out. Something may be headed down a bad road if the question lingers too long. Definitely, the question “have you ever cheated” is very scary. Wives, you may be thinking that you can’t handle the truth, or you may be thinking “what if he’s lying to me?” Regardless, being honest and open is important and having the conversation is also important if you feel like this is a real problem in your relationship. The same goes for husbands, who are not any more comfortable asking. Sure it is scary, but it is very necessary to potentially save a relationship.
3. What Gets Your Motor Running?
You know what I mean, right? The idea of what gets your husband excited about your physical relationship is the topic here. This can look very different for different people and oddly, it is a topic that is not often discussed by married couples. Maybe it is because wives are too afraid that their husbands may be a little “incompatible” with them when it comes to the physical relationship. This is one question though that wives just don’t ask very often. It can be a somewhat embarrassing thing to discuss if you don’t often talk about it, but for a healthy marriage and general relationship physically, it is important to have these discussions and ask these questions. Don’t worry, it won’t be nearly as weird or uncomfortable as you think.
2. Have You Ever Found a Man Attractive?
Men have a tendency to be extremely insecure when it comes to discussing the appearances of one another. While women are notorious for talking with one another about how beautiful other women are and talking about each other’s positive and negative physical qualities, men aren’t quite wired the same way. One question that wives would like to ask, but are too afraid of what the honest answer would be, is if their husband has ever found another man attractive. If the answer is yes, then is he…ya know? This question plagues a lot of wives. If the husband were to ask the question (and men certainly aren’t afraid to ask) then we already know the answer. Come to think of it, there aren’t just a whole lot of questions husbands are afraid to ask of their wives.
1. Living Will Conversations
How about the conversation about what to do in the event of medical emergencies? The idea of a “living will” establishes what should be done in the event that a person is not conscious to make serious medical decisions for themselves. But wives (and husbands too, for that matter) are really afraid to talk about things like this. “Hey honey, under what circumstances do you want me to pull the plug” doesn’t really come up easily in conversation. Men do not usually like the idea of being out of control and truthfully, severe illness and end of life decisions are not really comfortable conversation topics. They are important to discuss and it is well worth the effort, but wives sure do not look forward to trying to bring it up.
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