Walmart shoppers are always at the butt end of jokes on the internet. The jokes are not without merit, as many of the shoppers that frequent Walmart are worthy of some internet ridicule. It’s gotten to the point where shopping at Walmart has become a meme. Again, this isn’t unjust, as real-life Walmart shoppers are just as striking as the ones you’ll find on Reddit.
The real travesty here is how much Target is praised by the internet and the media. People think it’s funny to call it “Tar-jay” as if it is somehow superior to Walmart. Target is thought to attract a higher-class discount shopper than its ugly twin. To be fair, shopping at Target isn’t usually the madhouse that Walmart is, but that doesn’t mean the clientele is any fancier.
In fact, Walmart and Target attract the same kind of people. There are your run-of-the-mill weirdos in both of these stores, shopping alongside normal people like you and me. Target is like the Burger King to Walmart’s McDonald’s. It’s no better, but everyone thinks it is.
It’s time Target is exposed for what it is: Walmart’s twin sister with a better shade of lipstick.
15. Denim Witch
This has got to be the most awe-inspiring look on this entire list. Setting aside the fact that it’s nearly impossible to tell the gender of the person in this picture (leaning female), this is just a fantastic Target outfit.
Never were the similarities between Target and Walmart shoppers so evident than in this photo. This person is wearing a denim wizard hat, which has got to be one of the rarest types of wizard hats. The belly shirt with a protruding gut is a nice touch as well, and the elegant tattoo brings the look together.
The best part of this photo is that we assume that that kid belongs to that person. They’re in the toy aisle, so it’s a fair assumption that they are buying something for the child. That is not a given, though, as she could be searching for a sweet new wand for herself.
14. Dead Kids For Sale
It looks like some lucky shopper is going home with a fully-matured six-year-old at a substantial discount. The upfront cost probably doesn’t cover the years of expenses down the road, but this shopper may be able to get a good deal on a warranty. There’s nothing worse than getting home with a defective toddler.
Kids never really like shopping. There’s usually a carrot at the end of the stick in the way of candy or a toy. But if there isn’t, then expect the kids to act the way this boy is acting. This isn’t a Target-specific problem, but that’s—in a sense—the purpose of this piece. Lethargic kids who are waiting to get their head smashed by a passing carriage are present at any store.
13. Natural Habitat
Here, we see a wild Target shopper in her natural habitat. This one has grown her hair to a preposterous length in order to intimidate other predators away from her position at the discount rack.
Someone walking around with hair down to their ankles isn’t an everyday sight, and if it weren’t for the target carriages, people may think this was a Walmart snap. Well, Target is not immune to people with crazy-long hair wondering their food isles.
The real question here is, “Is her hair even real?” As a male, it’s hard to determine the distinction between real hair and extensions most of the time. It seems improbable that this woman let her natural hair drag on the floor behind her, but it may be equally strange to pay someone to make you look like a yeti from behind.
This is one of those people who you rarely find in the wild. Undoubtedly, this woman wanted to look unique. She certainly hit that one right out of the park with this outfit.
This is the exact type of person that every Walmart montage contains, but many of these ridiculously dressed individuals get their items at Target as well. If it weren’t for the blurry Target sign in the background, it may be assumed that this woman was indeed seen at a Walmart.
This look is something else. Her hairstyle is head-scratchingly distracting and her massive earrings are almost expected. I was dying to know her take on marijuana. So thankfully, she displayed it on her t-shirt. I don’t think anyone would have been able to tell that she smokes pot had it not been for her shirt.
11. Watermelon Safety
Apparently, according to this photo, kids are just as important as watermelons. Making sure your kid doesn’t fall out of the carriage is priority 1A, but priority 1B is making sure your watermelon makes it home safely. The second priority is making sure you have enough noodles for the entire neighborhood.
This isn’t the most absurd photo on this list, as it looks as though there is no room left on this lady’s cart. The only option is to put the watermelon on the top of her items, or place it in the seat. Still, it’s pretty funny to see a woman scolding her child as a watermelon sits obediently in its seat. “Why can’t you be more like your brother, Kevin?”
10. King Swagger
It looks like the king of Swagville couldn’t trust any of his subjects to handle a return for him at Target, so he had to go in person to confront them himself. Thankfully, he had his trusty Morphsuit pressed and his going-out crown prepared.
For those who don’t know, Morphsuit is a brand that specializes in making those full-body spandex suits. Essentially, this guy is wearing a black version of Charlie’s Green Man suit from It’s Always Funny in Philadelphia. That’s one way to modestly show the world what your dangus looks like.
9. Snacks on Snacks
When you’re shopping, especially with a child, you usually want to make sure you don’t need to make another trip. Going back to the store because you forgot something is one of the worst things that can happen to you on a normal day (meaning a non-tragic run-of-the-mill day). This shopper was making sure this didn’t happen, even if it meant drowning his/her son in Cinnamon Toast Crunch boxes.
This picture shows the real Target behind the facade they put on to their shoppers; down to the graffiti etched in the side of the plastic cart. People go to Target for the same reason they go to Walmart—the deals. The prices are about the same; meaning, you’re bound to see a few carts filled with snacks and a little boy’s head peaking out of the rubble.
8. Sweet Kicks
There’s something to be said for being as comfortable as possible when you’re returning something at Target. You can’t go too hard at this guy for staying comfortable, but it appears that he probably thinks he looks good in his bright pink slippers. You know what they say, comfort first, pink second.
These slipper-shoes were a trend about ten years ago, and they were usually worn by teenage girls even in their heyday. This guy just loves pink, and he doesn’t care who knows it. His fluffy shoes—which appear to be official Adidas merchandise—perfectly accentuate his massively oversize shirt and his baggy pants. The best case scenario is that this guy lost a bunch of weight. He bought some new pants, but they were too big and now he’s returning them. You know what? Good for this guy.
7. Big Cat Lady
Fashion statements are a big part of the Target vs. Walmart shopping experience. These ridiculously trashy outfits are usually thought of as a staple of Walmart culture, but Target is no stranger to the aggressively unfashionable.
This lovely lady seems to have an affinity for big cats. Apparently, she assumed that big cats will match if you put them together. She’s got some leopard print on the dress, tigers on the leggings, and finishes it off with the most out-of-place accessory of all—a plaid hat.
This kind of outfit isn’t even that unique. I’ve seen at least two women wearing something very similar. These are the type of women who ride around in a scooter and still think they’re 22 years old, even when they’re pressing 60. More power to her, though, as she fully embraces the cat-lady lifestyle with a full big cat outfit.
6. Fashion Forward
This man is truly something else. He’s rocking the Target colors fabulously, which is probably unintentional, and his entire outfit just screams, “Look at me.”
There is quite a bit going on with this man. First, there are the obvious Daisy Duke cutoff shorts, ripped v-neck, and sparkly-red track jacket. I’m not a fashion guy, but I find it hard to believe that the whole outfit is something you’d see on the runway. This seems like more of a thrift store outfit to me.
The most confusing aspect of this photo, assuming that the subject was trying to be somewhat fashionable, are the mismatched socks. This guy went through the trouble of picking out the most ridiculous outfit imaginable and finishes it off with two different socks. I would say, “Look at the balls on this guy,” but if you look too hard, you might actually see them.
5. Female Coolio
There are a ton of trashy outfits on this list, and this is not one of them. The term “swagger” is thrown around rather liberally, but this woman epitomizes it.
The heart in the hair is hilariously perfect, sending out good vibes to the other shoppers at her local Target. The highlight of this woman’s ensemble, though, has to be the Cheerios racing jacket. That is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen someone wear, and I need to get one ASAP. I won’t be able to pull it off, but I’m not sure anyone really can.
4. Open Carry
Gun laws are different from state to state, but I doubt anyone’s first thought is that these photos took place in Connecticut. They were undoubtedly captured somewhere in the south, where people can never be too safe when going to their local Target.
These days, people feel more vulnerable than ever. Those among us who are more heavily armed sometimes choose to express their second amendment rights in public, either to protect themselves or flaunt their dominance. Sure, having your gun on you may make you feel more comfortable, but it’s making everyone else shy away from you; not to mention the fact that it’s complete overkill. A pistol would sufficiently protect these people in any type of situation they’d encounter, and it’d be much less evasive to all of the beta humans who don’t walk around with guns strapped to their backs.
3. Avid Gamer
Sometimes, you have to try out a game before you buy it. But there’s a reason why the stand on the GameBoy is only so high. They’re meant for kids to use while their parents are shopping for toiletries, not for balding men with cellphone belt clips to be gaming their heart out for hours on end.
Video games are great. I’m not going to trash this guy for enjoying a good video game on his day off. Obviously though, he’s overstaying his welcome on the game. As soon as you go to your knees to be more comfortable, you should know you’ve been there too long.
There’s something a little weird about an adult playing a Game Boy as well. If you asked me what an adult GameBoy fan would look like, I’d draw a picture of this guy, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are other game systems in the same area with longer controllers he could be playing. Just weird all around.
2. Bag Poncho
This man in his bag suit is rather perplexing, but there has to be a reasonable explanation. I can’t imagine that this guy is just a goofster due to the serious look on his face, which means there should be a function that these bags are serving.
While it may not be the case (this man could be auditioning for the Target mascot, for instance), it is probably raining outside. Assuming that’s correct, this man has fashioned himself a poncho made out of plastic bags from Target.
Walmart shoppers are often characterized as poor, while Target shoppers get away with their discount shopping without ridicule. If this man is protecting himself from rain using plastic bags instead of buying a poncho for $3.00, which he’s 20 feet maximum away from, then he’s bringing shame to Target shoppers everywhere. Of course, he could be dressed this way for some other crazy reason.
1. Business On Top, Party On the Bottom
Well, as they say, it’s 2017. Apparently, this man’s feet identify as a stripper, but the rest of his body identifies as an accountant from Montana. Making fun of this man for rocking platform heels in a Target checkout may be considered “problematic” at this point, but we can ruffle some feathers if you don’t tell anyone.
This guy is just a meme waiting to happen. Off the top of my head: “When she tells you to walk a mile in her shoes,” “When you want to get in to the ‘women only’ showing of Wonder Woman,” “When your Tinder profile says you’re 6 ft.” I’m not a meme creator, but you get the point.
As far as practicality, there is virtually no reason for this man to be wearing those shoes. He’s even too tall to comfortably load his items on the checkout counter with them on. This is one of those pictures of a shopper that is so strange, it could only be Target.