As there are plenty of things that go into heart-pumping, sheet grabbing, rolling over panting in ecstasy love-making with your partner, there is also “I can’t wait for this to be over” moments. Or at least there is for woman. And often times it’s not typically uncommon for women to come onto a man who ends up having no idea how to perform in bed, a man who has no idea how to perform that benefits the both of you. You know, the ones who neglect foreplay or the guys who are only in it to “win it” or rather he’s only in it for his ending result, not caring about how the woman finishes.
Despite what you may think, you could very well be the guy who is every woman’s worst nightmare, when it comes to certain bedroom activities, that is. Perhaps you may think you know everything there is to know about this dirty deed, but you’re wrong, my dude. No guy knows “everything” when it comes to pleasing a woman and that could simply be because women don’t always know everything they desire – or it could be because you’re not paying enough attention to the details.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not throwing every man into this category because some of you are fantastic at knowing just how to rock our worlds, but on the other hand, a good amount of you certainly cannot. And like I mentioned, women don’t always know what it is they want in bed, sometimes all they know is that they want it, and they want it now. I know, women are confusing, but that doesn’t mean she (and all her friends) don’t know you suck in the sack, because they surely do.
So, gentlemen, before the word gets spread around town that you’re not a very good lay, allow me to introduce you to the mere basics of being “good” or rather, “better” in bed by enjoying this exclusive scoop on how to improve your performance under the sheets, directly from the girl world.
15. “In It To Win It”
Yes, I mentioned this in the intro because it’s important. During the deed, having an orgasm is not the “end all, be all” of sex. Finishing should not be the only thing you’re focused on achieving, whether it’s a one night stand or a relationship, this can be a red flag. Not only does this make you a lousy lay, this also make you a selfish one. Either way, you’ll finish, but she might not finish, because that’s the unfortunate reality of being a woman. Don’t worry about that being your goal because in the end, it’ll feel even better than it would have in the first 15 minutes.. or less.
14. Know Her Name
The fact that I had to list this at all is embarrassing. Guys… Know her name! I get it, we’ve all been there, but you have to be smart enough to not say anything if you’re not 100% sure you’re right. It’s probably in your best interest to stick the trick back in the bag and pull for another. It’s not a good idea if you’re trying to talk dirty to her and end up using some other girl’s name. It’s not exactly flattering to call out the wrong name and it’ll probably give her the idea that you don’t exactly give a fu** about her or her needs. And don’t be surprised when she doesn’t give a fu** right back and kicks your a** out before you accomplish your one and only goal of finishing.
13. Rough And Tumble
No, we’re not implying that you suck in bed because you want to have rough sex. We’re implying that you suck in bed when it comes to it being rough because despite the fact that you watch porn stars take it like champs, you have this idea that everyday women can’t. It may be the only thing about adult films that turns both people on equally. So when a woman demands for you to give it to her, do just that. Don’t worry, women aren’t made out of glass, you’re not going to break them. She can handle it, especially if she’s asking for it. I mean like… don’t punch her in the face or anything, but still.
As long as we are on the subject of “rough,” if you’re with a woman who likes a spanking, then for the love of god, spank that woman. And do it often because it’ll certainly keep her going. Obviously communication is key, so check in to make sure it’s something she’s totally into and then go for it. Spank her, dammit!
Although she may be begging for it, if it persists for too long and you grow tired, or maybe you don’t, take a minute. Slow down every now and again to caress her body and her face. Kiss her and tease her and touch her and get her to shake between the legs before you go at it again. It’s the element of surprise that ultimately gives women the best big Os.
12. It’s Oh So Manly
Yes gentlemen, moaning is manly. It’s the biggest turn on ever and it’s incredibly sexy to women. So don’t be embarrassed by holding it in, please, let it out! Of course we’re aware that you’re enjoying yourself, but when you express yourself by being audible, it takes women to a whole new level. Allow yourself to become comfortable with this idea because when you moan or talk dirty, it really encourages women. Mention how you’ve been wanting her all day or admit to how good she feels.
It’s not about reassurance for women, it really isn’t. Like I said, it’s about encouragement, for the both of you. Because believe me, you’ve got it twisted if you think your girl isn’t going to play off of it too. It’s a win win situation. You talk dirty to her, she’ll talk dirty back. You allow yourself to moan, her moaning escalates. Confidence has always been sexy to women, but confidence in bed is like fu**ing sorcery. You don’t even know your own strength.
Having sex is very mental for women and they can often get lost inside their heads without the right amount of enthusiasm. You want a woman to be in the moment with you during sex, and having passion is going to guarantee she doesn’t drift off somewhere else. She has got to feel like you have to have her, that all you want is her or you might just explode. Passion allows the two of you to push each other to the brink before even getting it on.
Act like she is the hottest thing, or this is the hottest thing you have ever experienced. Especially because it’s no secret that women can have a hard time with confidence or insecurity, but when you apply the right amount of raw passion, it eliminates all of those ideas and gives her the determination that she needs, passion that enhances encouragement and enthusiasm, the kind that has you kissing her like crazy and making her feel like she is the only one that you want.
10. Slow Down, Roger Rabbit
A woman is not a construction site, so don’t treat her like one by pretending as if your fingers are a fu**ing jackhammer. Seriously, it’s a major set back. If a woman wanted you to treat her like that, she would have no problem asking for it. So, a piece of advice, a woman’s V does not need fixing by your jackhammer, so think about never using that tactic ever again and dispose of the idea that women like it when you finger-bang them fast enough to wipe out their memory.
There’s so many other things you can achieve with your fingers that she will actually enjoy. Like moving your fingers in a circular motion, and you’ll hit places your manhood can’t. The results are phenomenal. Keep it going at a good pace and you’ll have her begging for more in no time. And remember, “A good lover’s hands never stop moving.” So don’t get lazy on us either.
9. Don’t Forget The Foreplay
Don’t be so focused on that thing between your legs. Sex is nice, but work up to it. Women don’t get turned on like a faucet, so if you reach straight for her panties or attempt to unbuckle her jeans too quickly, you’re just wasting your time. This is a vital aspect to good sex! Women don’t appreciate when there isn’t enough time spent on foreplay. And don’t act as if you’re only going through the motions to get some, we notice. Make it less about the quantity and more about the quality. We get it, you’ve been doing it for a long time, but that doesn’t give you a “get out of jail free” card, we don’t exactly work like that. If you just jump right in, it’ll be completely uncomfortable and it could’ve been avoided if you took the right steps before hand.
Foreplay is so so important. I’m serious. If you want to have a good romp, you need good foreplay. If you find her thighs attractive, stroke them. If you enjoy her backside, kiss it. When a man shows that he enjoys what he’s doing, it’s only going to turn women on more. So, enjoy yourself! And take your time, because there’s plenty of it. Women need time to get aroused, and anyway, who doesn’t love a good foreplay session? Get to know your partner, spend time learning their bodies. The pay off will be big.
8. Stay Away From Our Feet
If you have a foot fetish, any woman who is sleeping with you is doing it purely out of pity because she knows no one else is going to want to sleep with you. But foot fetish or not, stay away from the feet. It is not charming and no it does not turn anyone on. Woman may act like they enjoy it, but when you’re sucking or nibbling on their feet, they’re probably thinking about kicking you in the head to get your brain back in order. It’s disgusting. Drop the habit or don’t try hooking up with women. I could handle a furry or a crazy BDSM kink before I would ever let some guy lick my feet. Sorry, but no thanks. Next!
7. Tease Her
Just like foreplay, teasing a woman is damn near an essential… for life. Too often, women find men digging into their pants within the first couple of minutes of hooking up, making it so things aren’t as effective as they would’ve been had they focused more of their time somewhere else. Tease us, there is no rush gentlemen (unless it’s a quickie). The longer you spend teasing her, the better. So take your time on every inch of her body. Pay attention to know if maybe you should spend a little more time in that area, or if you should move on. Teasing is when you get to torture her with light touches and watch her body beg for more as she’s squirming in your hands. I promise, if you take your time… it’ll be worth it. And in the morning, she might still remember you.
6. Not Just The Bullseye
Contrary to what you may believe, her nipples are not the only arousing part of her boobs. Of course the nipple is sensitive and women love the attention they receive and they may seem to be the center of attention, but they do not need to retain all of your focus. That’s right! The rest of the boob has feeling too! Amazing!!! You’ve got the rest of the boob and a big dirty brain of ideas, so go at it. Caress them and pay attention to them and play with them (nicely), because it’s just as arousing when men stroke the sides and the undersides. Men love boobs and boobs love the attention, but be sure to give attention to all areas.
5. Short Lived?
If you last as long as you did in high school, there’s your problem. Women are going to find it hard (no pun intended) to hook up with men who have no issue finishing in just a few minutes. Finishing too quickly is not just a turn off, it’s super embarrassing and most of the time women think you’re joking when you stop only a few minutes in to admit to her that you’ve already finished. Surely, that’s a “you” problem, but it needs to get fixed ASAP if you want to find yourself succeeding in the sack, let alone getting laid. Word to the wise: it’s probably a better idea for you to sit at home and watch some videos than to go out and disappoint any other women by not being able to please her. Perhaps a pill? Or.. something… I don’t know.
4. All About The Timing
Obviously. Because I can’t mention this enough. Take. Your. Time. It would be immensely appreciated if you went at a pace that didn’t involve you jamming your fingers down her pants and aiming directly for her lady parts. You’ve got to warm her up, as I mentioned before. Kiss her neck and her breasts, and don’t forget the teasing. And there’s a lot that’s sensitive on a woman’s body, other than the obvious. And when you finally do go for it, be nice. Don’t beat it up like it owes you money or throw your fist at it like a punching bag. Might I remind you, despite rough sex, women are not porn stars. You just slide her turn tables at a rapid rate, go easy on the DJ stand, and make some tunes that she enjoys. Are you following?
3. Don’t. Fu**ing. Stop.
Seriously! If you hear her yell “don’t stop” to you all the time and you’re wondering why the end result wasn’t what you were… well… hoping for, then pay attention. When a girl is moaning and yelling for you not to stop… Don’t. Stop. Don’t. Change. A. Single. Thing. Don’t change the speed because you think it’ll be better, don’t change the angle, don’t change a single thing. Go at the exact same pace. In the exact same position, so this girl you’re working on can finish, and don’t ruin it for her by making the rookie mistake of switching up the routine. And if you do, I hope she backhands the sh** outta you, you deserve it if you take away her orgasm buddy.
Just because you’ve finished, doesn’t mean the session is finished. You hear me? Just because you’ve accomplished what you were there for, does not mean she has. So, if she hasn’t, don’t be selfish. Once you’ve finished and a woman has not, that does not mean she just stops being horny; she’s not finished like you. I know you’re tired, but she will be more than willing to tap you back into the ring. And even if she doesn’t, you gotta do what you gotta do. Take care of her and make sure she’s good to go, before you go. Take care of it like a real man and be sure to finish her off.
1. EAT. IT.
Eat her out. Eat her like she’s your last meal on death row. Eat her like it’s going to cure cancer. Until her legs are shaking and she’s moaning so load you’re afraid the neighbors are going to hear her. Eat her out and don’t stop unless she grabs you by your head and drags you up. Eat. Her. Out. Since I can’t emphasize this enough, this is some of the most important sex advice you’ll ever get: If you’re not eating her out, then I can’t help you. No one can help you. You’re a useless scumbag. Have fun living a life full of unsatisfied partners.