You may want to do things the old-fashioned way – pick up a girl, let’s say, in a library, take her to dinner and movies, then go to her place, undress her in the dim light of the candles, and… Well, one thing leads to the other. In the hectic trivial round of every day, finding someone who satisfies you emotionally and attracts you physically is getting harder. So, it’s understandable why we turn to all those websites promising to fix us with our perfect other half. And still, it is hard to find someone who doesn’t freak us out.
It is not only the heavy use of smartphones and social media that makes healthy communication and dating so difficult in modern days! With people like Taylor Swift and Kylie Jenner at the forefront of our society, we, intentionally or not, have become accustomed to a certain, quite limited idea of beauty and sex appeal. You go online and you expect to find a person who is smart, has a sense of humor, offers their seat to the elderly in the bus, can make supreme scrambled eggs, and… looks like Angelina Jolie’s or Rylan Gosling’s twin. However, in many cases, what you come upon instead are dating profiles so disturbing that they can easily put an end to your endeavors to find eternal love and sexual gratification.
Check out 15 of the freakiest dating profile pictures that will make you shudder in horror and disgust.
15. The Russian Cinderella
This poorly dressed Russian beauty takes the derogatory expression “white trash” to a completely new level. She is not exactly showing herself in the best possible light, but she still holds a big chance to find herself a sustainable guy from Germany or Finland. The variety of dating sites in countries like Russia and Ukraine is mind-blowing. Men from any country are promised to find “the Slavic bride to their liking”. Some of the sites offer 50 to 60,000 profiles of women to choose from, and it is certainly easy to get lost in the galleries full of pictures of beautiful women from the former Soviet Union. And some of them are quite… excessive, as you can see for yourself from this one.
14. Man’s (New) Best Friend?
Some people are fans of Rammstein (it’s a band), and others, well they’re just fans of rams – period. We guess this guy from a remote mountainous village somewhere in the Caucasus region doesn’t have much of a social life. With nothing else to do up in the mountains and not many people to meet, farm animals become your best friends. Nothing bad about being a skillful ram whisperer! But the thing that we find disturbing about this picture is that the ram may actually be a hint of what a prospective date should expect from her first intimate contact with our guy.
13. The Sword Aficionado
We don’t know what purpose multiplying one’s passport photo exactly serves, but the intention was probably for the image to firmly stick in your mind. Yes, the expression is to be remembered – the sinister look in the eyes and the sly smile make a slight resemblance to a young Norman Bates from Hitchcock’s masterpiece Psycho. And just to confirm one’s conviction that there must be something wrong with this person, he adds more creepiness to his Tinder presentation. In case you wonder how he is most likely to kill you, it won’t be the Norman Bates way. Because he is “more into swords!” So, you should expect a Lord of the Rings kind of action scene.
12. The Mug Shot
In their endeavors to find love online, most people are likely to hide any information about themselves that can be compromising and lessen their chances of finding a partner. They would lie about their family, their hygienic habits, their weird hobbies and manias, but mostly about embarrassing things and events from their past. That was not the case with this young lady here. Tinder users often accompany their profile pictures with brief (or sometimes not that brief, but rather detailed) description of their personality and list their likings. But Annabelle is less verbose and lets her profile picture do the talking. However, one cannot be completely sure whether she is looking for an ex-convict or a soul-mate with whom she has things in common. Like a DUI arrest, for example.
11. The Space Woman
Hallelujah! Finally someone who gave an answer to David Bowie’s question whether there is life on Mars. Judging by this profile picture, yes, there is! Meet the first recognized life form living on the Red Planet – Shannon. Now that she has come to visit us earthlings, you may find her on Tinder, OkCupid, Match, Happn, Bumble, and many more. And don’t get distracted by her gold space outfit! This is what you need to wear if you live on another planet. In order not to be regarded as a space oddity, Sharon offers some useful information that will help her future suitors get to know better her sentimental human side. She may be “a work in progress” but at least she knows with whom she wants to spend every passing day (on Earth, presumably).
10. The Public Enemy
In case you don’t find men with braids particularly attractive, this creepy guy has found another way to draw attention to himself. In today’s world, when every stranger can be a potential threat to society, which makes people more and more paranoid, he has the guts to advertise himself as public enemy number one. Not only is he closely monitored and/or followed by the NYPD, but also by the Department of Homeland Security, FBI, and even some foreign intelligence agencies! You can’t be sure if this man is indeed that dangerous and is leading a Jason Borne kind of life, or he is just sluggish and has no idea for what purpose he’s wasting air and food on this planet. It’s probably the second.
9. The Axe-travagant Prom Queen
Dressed to impress, this young lady from Rostov-on-Don (a port city in Southern Russia) must have decided that it was going to be a splendid idea to take a picture of herself before what we can only guess was prom night… while she was holding an axe. Not only was this apparently a great photo opportunity, but it was THE picture to put on her dating profile. We can only guess what kind of message she wanted to deliver, but it was probably something between “I am your tiny ballerina” and “I may look vulnerable, but I certainly ain’t defenseless.” However, not to push their fears too far, she’s added a white rose as a hint of her tender side. It’s all about balance, after all.
8. The Aggressive Fisherman
They say fishing is for calm and peaceful people. Besides, fishing is good for your health – it is believed to reduce stress and benefit your mental balance. This, however, is not the case with our guy here. He must have been thinking how to visualize his two favorite pastime activities. The fact that he has chosen a picture of himself holding a fishing rod with a beautiful lake in the background does speak about his passion for fishing. But he obviously loves his guns, too. So, what’s more logical than combining both in one shot? However, a pressing question comes up: Did he really put a bullet into his victim after he fished it out of the water, or is the gun just for show?
7. The Magical Fat Girl
Our profound research on internet dating shows that posing with food is the second most preferred after posing with animals. We all love seeing pictures of girls in low-cut denim shorts and bikini tops, licking a popsicle on a hot summer day. But Kathryn here offers a bit of a different perspective on how sexiness and food should be combined. Beside totally embracing her body and promising to entertain you with magic tricks, she is also confiding to us the current purpose of her young life – saving up for a tattoo on her buttocks. We hope the saving is going well, although there is much room for doubt. After all, ice cream doesn’t come free.
6. The COW-girl
The bestiality theme is not uncommon in the world of online dating. Some people show an uncanny and sometimes unhealthy inclination towards zoomorphism, that is imposing animal attributes upon humans. In this particular case, we see a quite poorly executed attempt of making oneself look like dairy cattle. The intention behind this challenging metamorphosis (and body posture!) is probably to assure the lovers out there that she is ready and very much willing to get milked by some robust manly hands. So, cowboys, pull the reins and flex your muscles, for you are about to meet the cowgirl of your dreams!
5. The Guy With The Snake Fetish
Many youths are feeling insecure and lost in their 20s. But we give you one exemplary young man who, for a change, knows for sure what he wants from life. He has set up his goals straight on, and by the expression on his face we may conclude he is pretty much determined to reach them. Now, let’s see what is wrong about his list. Holding a “massive python, boa or anaconda” is achievable, especially if you know someone owning a terrarium or working in a zoo/circus. The insects crawling on his naked body is also fine – after all, some people arrange sushi on naked people! The beating part is a tricky one but we can totally understand those who are in S&M. If, however, he gets eaten by an anaconda after holding it first, then how can he can possibly get to 3. and 4.?
4. The Wrestling Pro
It is hard to believe this guy has earned that heavy-weight wrestling champion belt himself, but there is nothing wrong with posing with one, no matter how ridiculous it looks on you. If you are an average girl and have always dreamt of dating Chris Jericho or Shawn Michaels, this wanna-be professional might be your chance to make your dream come true. Besides, you can be sure that in case you or your future kids are in danger, be it captives of a sinister terrorist, or caught in a fire in an elevator, he will instantly be messaged on OkCupid. But not necessarily by a police officer. This answer in his profile for sure has won him a lot of fans. And not only wrestling fans!
3. The Hannibal Lover
He is looking for a woman older than 28. Probably, so far he’s been feeding on younger flesh and now he is ready to experiment. The resemblance to Hannibal Lecter, a.k.a. Hannibal the Cannibal, is obvious. We are not sure in which universe posing as the movie character of a cannibalistic serial killer would win you the love and admiration of women looking for a long happy life and, hopefully, having kids! But clearly for this guy the mask is his most attractive accessory. He looks scary enough alright. Or could it be even worse without it, we wonder…
2. The Barbie Guy
Love me tinder, love me long… This is how the golden old Elvis Presley refrain should sound nowadays with the popularity of the world’s hottest app Tinder growing stronger. And once the decision has been made to look for love on your mobile phone, it’s all about perfecting your profile. People become more and more inventive in their efforts to look appealing to the opposite or the same sex. Sometimes, however, you come across profiles you simply cannot find a rational explanation for. Potential lovers pose with apples in their mouth, a full-face cover balaclava hat, or a gnome over their privates. This guy, for example, has decided that a colored Barbie doll dressed in green (to match his own facial accessories) will be a nice touch. We are not quite sure about that!
1. The Centaur
This Tinder profile picture definitely dares you to swipe right – only even of pure curiosity. I mean, you don’t happen to date a centaur every day! Given that centaur, or half-man half-horse, is a mythological creature, it must be a real challenge to meet one in real life. Especially if he “bathes regularly” and “reads often”. The fact that he likes puppies (and probably keeps one) can make the relationship a little complicated though as it may be difficult to attend the needs of two animals of such different proportions and physical characteristics. But still, why not take the chance! After all, your half-man half-horse is only 38 miles away…