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15 Creepiest Happy Meal Toys That Were Actually Dangerous

High Life
15 Creepiest Happy Meal Toys That Were Actually Dangerous

For most kids, getting a Happy Meal at McDonald’s and other fast food chains is one of the most exciting things ever. Not only do they get deliciously greasy french fries and a cheeseburger, but they get a brand new toy to play with too. However, not all Happy Meal toys are created equal. Nothing was more disappointing than opening your Happy Meal bag only to find a creepy toy that you never would dream of playing with. Or even worse, a toy that will hurt you.

Between creepy masks, pointless toys, and easy-to-swallow plastic pieces, there are plenty of Happy Meal toys that were total day-ruiners. Time after time, parents come forward with horror stories about how their kids were hurt by their kids’ meal toys but the horror never really seems to end. Whether it’s the 1970’s or 2017, kids continue to find creepy dangerous toys in their Happy Meals.

We’ve compiled a list of 15 of the most creepy Happy Meal toys we’ve seen over the years and some that are downright dangerous. Which one of these toys would you hate to get the most? We say, all of them.

15. Sky Dancers

Back in the ‘90s, girls went gaga for these creepy wide-eyed smiling fairies that got catapulted into the air, thanks to their sharp rapidly moving wings. While the toys are fairly innocent for the most part, they were extremely dangerous. Anyone who has played with the toy knows the terrible fate of being smacked in the face by one of these bad boys.

Not only are the toys pretty dangerous, but there’s just something off about them. All of Sky Dancers have these creepy smiles and wide blue eyes. And other than jetting them into the air only to have to pick them up off the floor again, we really don’t see the fun in these toys. Although, they were a great way to get back at an annoying sibling by aiming them at their face. Again, these are pretty dangerous.

14. Take-Apart Rasputin

In 1997, the popular movie Anastasia swept the nation, introducing kids everywhere to Russian folklore and history. Happy meals during that time promoted the movie by giving kids creepy toys that looked like Rasputin, the evil character in the film. Sounds fairly harmless, right? Well, the toy’s special feature was the fact that you could pop off his head and other body parts by pushing a small button on his back. Um, that’s kind of creepy, isn’t it?

Many parents were less than pleased to find their kids playing with this odd toy, as they felt it was a little too gruesome for the little ones. Rasputin’s actual story is a very dark and rather disturbing one, making it one of the most upsetting in history. Totally makes sense that they themed his death to appeal to kids, right? Eek!

13. Ronald McDonald Mask

Sure, this toy isn’t necessarily dangerous. But it’s definitely a level 10 on the creepy scale. This Ronald McDonald mask scared just about every kid who received it in their Happy Meal. There’s just something about clowns—even fast food clowns—that is downright scary and not fun at all. Kids weren’t pleased with this mask not only because of its creepy factor but by the time they put it on their face, it was all greased up from the oily foods it was sitting by.

This was one of the many disappointing toys kids have gotten in their Happy Meals over the years. Other useless items like empty Halloween buckets and lame movie posters were just some of the many lame excuses for “toys” kids received in their Happy Meals.

12. Feel The Burn

It’s always a good thing to encourage kids to be active and participate in fun athletic activities. But is it really necessary to monitor their progress with a watch similar to how adults often do? Last year, McDonald’s offered special exercise-monitoring watches in their Happy Meals in an attempt to counteract their “unhealthy” stigma. That all sounds fine and dandy, but the fact that the watches started burning kids after just wearing them for a few minutes didn’t speak too well for the fast food chain.

One parent claimed her son was wearing the watch for just 8 minutes before it seared his wrist. The light inside of the watch was somehow heating up the back surface of the watch. Once the story was released, many parents came forward and had similar stories. When it comes to being healthy, McDonald’s just can’t quite get it right. The humor wasn’t lost on us.

11. Phallic Jellyfish

For adults, toys shaped like men and women’s private parts can be fun and exciting. This definitely isn’t the case with kids. Parents were pretty shocked to find this phallic-shaped jellyfish in their kids’ Happy Meals based on the hit film, Finding Nemo. It’s easy to see that this toy looks more like a dildo than a fun under-the-sea-themed toy.

Many parents publicly complained about the unfortunately shaped toy and didn’t want their kids playing with such a blatantly s*xual item. We can’t decide what’s more offensive about the toy—its long purple shaft or its obviously phallic-shaped head. Either way, it’s definitely wrong to make kids play with such a grotesque toy like this one.

10. Donna Summer Teaches Kids About The Birds And The Bees

Back in 2011, some Wendy’s Kid’s Meals contained fun sing-along discs to Donna Summer‘s song, “Last Dance.” Sounds harmless, right? Well, whoever made the toy forgot to edit the lyrics to make them child-friendly. Apparently, kids were learning every line of the song including the one that says, “I’m so horny.” We can only imagine the increase of car ride s*x talks and question sessions that were inspired by the fun tune. What’s even more odd is the fact that out of all the fun songs kids could sing along to, Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” was the top pick. What about “Old McDonald had a Farm” or “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?” Even a classic N’Sync would have sufficed.

9. I Went To McDonald’s And All I Got Was This Lame Plastic Bag

McDonald’s has released many questionable toys over the years. And we know for a fact that if we got a toy like this in our Happy Meal, we’d likely swear off the fast food chain forever. One of McDonald’s first Happy Meal toys ever was a lame plastic puppet (a.k.a. a plastic bag) with a super creepy Ronald McDonald on it. Sure, kids and puppets totally mix, but kids and serious choking hazards definitely don’t.

Many kids were putting the puppets on their heads or blowing them up into balloons. All parents know this is a big no-no. Why on earth would the fast food chain think that giving small children plastic bag puppets was a good idea? Not to mention that they featured a seriously creepy clown on the front? We’re surprised that Happy Meals became as successful as they were with such a poor start.

8. Hidden Nazi Agenda

In 2011, many kids living in Sweden were surprised to find fun temporary tattoos in their Happy Meal, including a super obvious swastika design. The special meal prize was designed and manufactured by a Chinese company, who was ultimately blamed for the poor choice in design. Parents were reasonably outraged by the toy and couldn’t believe that no one in the fast food chain bothered to look at the toys before packing them in their kids’ meals.

Not only are temporary tattoos of swastikas super creepy, but they are really dangerous for kids too. It forces everyone to acknowledge the universal symbol of hate and become aware of it when they shouldn’t ever know what it is or have a need to use it. Needless to say, the temporary tattoos were discontinued.

7. Creepy Dolls From “Wizard of Oz”

The film Wizard of Oz came out back in 1939, which explains why McDonald’s gave away Happy Meal toys featuring the flying monkeys and other characters from the film in 2008. Wait, what? For some random reason, McDonald’s began giving these super creepy-looking flying monkey dolls in their Happy Meals, produced by a company with a creepy, “Madame Alexander.”  The company took a new take on the flying monkey from The Wizard of Oz film and turned it into a super off-putting flying monkey baby doll combo. The whole doll was colored blue and stuffed into a plastic case, which frankly looked like it had suffocated in there. Flying monkeys were already scary enough, but turning them into creepy dolls was definitely a poor choice for a kid’s toy.

6. Hello Kitty, Hello Choking Hazard

Most toys made of plastic are made in large pieces so that they’re harder to ingest. Apparently, whoever made these Happy Meal Hello Kitty Whistles didn’t get the memo. Back in 2014, McDonald’s had to recall their Hello Kitty Whistles due to the fact that kids were literally coughing up pieces of the toy after blowing on them. While no serious injuries had occurred, it was still troubling to most parents as well as the kids who were unwillingly eating the loose pieces of plastic.

When the toy was recalled, Happy Meal toys were temporarily replaced with a yogurt tube or a bag of apple slices. We can imagine the kiddies weren’t too thrilled about that either.

5. Cursing Minions

In 2015, Pixar’s Minions were some of the most popular cartoon characters around. While kids loved the cute repetitive little guys, most parents found the Minions to be extremely annoying and even a little creepy. When McDonald’s partnered up with the movie, kids were thrilled to get little talking Minions along with their fries and Chicken McNuggets.

However, parents were surprised to hear what exactly these Minions were recorded to say. Many parents claimed the Minions actually said the phrase, “F*** you!” Minions supposedly speak the made up language of “Minionese” which is basically a hodgepodge of various languages ultimately creating a bunch of gibberish. Somehow, these combined sounds and words made it sound like the Minions were actually cursing the foul saying. Needless to say, parents weren’t too pleased.

4. Mini Furbies That Haunted Your Dreams

Back in the ‘90s, Furbies were one of the most popular toys around. What seemed like a cross between a gremlin and an annoying talking parrot was all the rage for kids. McDonald’s cashed in on the popularity of Furbies and started putting mini versions of the annoying toys in their Happy Meals.

Unfortunately, parents had to deal with the creepy talking toys the entire ride home from the restaurant. In fact, that’s what makes these creepy toys dangerous. Well, at least for the parents. Hearing the repetitive sayings and creepy voices causes them to become extremely irritated and more likely to get into an accident on the way home. Hopefully not!

3. Lame Popoids

This is probably one of the lamest McDonald’s toys yet ever. In each Happy Meal, kids would get a couple pieces of what was supposed to be a cool funky creation. But most kids ended up with just a couple random pieces, basically amounting to nothing but a creepy weird shape. Not only were these pieces easy for small kids to swallow and choke on, but they also enforced the idea that kids had to keep eating unhealthy Happy Meals to collect all the pieces they need. And even if kids did collect all the pieces, it was the most underwhelming result ever. The toys just looked like these weird shapes and kids didn’t really know what to do with them. Good job, McDonald’s!

2. Farm Animal Glove Gone Wrong

The Farm Animal Glove is the second early Happy Meal era toy to make our list. This cheap glove was one of the less loved toys by the kiddies eating Chicken McNuggets and fries at McDonalds. The glove was made of cheap plastic and had felt finger puppet barn yard animals attached to it. Delightful!

Parents quickly started reporting cases of choking, as their kids were ingesting pieces of the glove. The glove didn’t last too long in the Happy Meals due to the fact that it was hurting kids. Yet another notch on the ol’ McDonald’s not-so-happy-meal belt.

1. Inappropriate Tickle Feather

Nothing screams “Happy Meal” like a good ol’ s*xually inappropriate kids’ toys, right? The McDonald’s Tickle Feather was released in the ‘7os and was basically a cheap piece of foam made to look like a feather. We’re not quite sure what the appeal of this toy was or how on earth the toy creators came up with it. We can only assume that it was cheap to make and therefore a good choice for the Happy Meals.

The Tickle Feather, while not advertised in a s*xual way, seemed to have s*xual undertones to it. Why would kids use a feather tickler, anyway? We can only assume these foam feather tickler went from the Happy Meal Bag and straight into the trash.

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