Everybody has their own personal turn-ons and turn-offs. Some are particular and unique to the person while others are more widespread. In terms of turn-ons, there are some that are nearly universal. Traits that people find attractive include proper hygiene (pretty standard, right), manners, a job, some education, loyalty, some level of fitness, and of course good looks. These pretty much go without saying.
But different from sought after traits, there are sometimes signs in a budding relationship that it will work or it won’t. Plenty of people do not detect these signs for what they are until it is too late. This can lead to messy breakups and even divorce down the road. These signs may present themselves as a single event or a recurring habit and they can be good or bad, indicating it is meant to be or not so much.
While these signs, signals and events may not be as simple to spot and as obvious as the positive traits we listed above, they are just as important. Here are ten uncommon, lesser known signs a woman is worth your time and a relationship is meant to be. Of course, we wouldn’t be doing much of a service to anyone if we only pointed out good stuff to look for, so we’ll include five not-so-common ways you know you need to flee the relationship as fast as you can.
Ten Signs She’s A Keeper. Ring it, bro.
15. She Can Make You Laugh Your @$$ Off
Yeah, yeah, relax, we know: it’s the year 2017 and women are funny, and the Ghostbusters remake was brilliant… and so on and so forth. We aren’t saying women aren’t funny, but what we are saying is that men and women generally (we can’t stress the word “generally” enough here) have different types of humor. Plenty of women can tell a chuckle-worthy anecdote and rock sarcasm brilliantly, but every now and again we all meet a woman who is a humor-unicorn (a “humorcorn”) who can make you laugh much like your buddies can. If you’ve been dating a woman for a little while and she is consistently making you belly-laugh to the point where you have to catch your breath, start saving up for a ring.
14. Shares Your Vices
This one comes with a disclaimer. You know that old adage about “all things in moderation”? Well it applies to this list entry very well. If you want to have an incredible long term relationship, it will help if your partner enjoys the same vices you do. If you’re into craft beer, for instance, that is a great thing to have in common. The same can be said of scotch, and if we go to the topic of illicit drugs, if you like weed, dating a pothead girl is a great idea. If you share a vice in which you indulge responsibly, it lessens any judgment that would ever be passed with regard to that vice.
13. Proud Carnivore
We should clarify (we’ll be doing this a lot throughout this article), we don’t mean a carnivore as a woman who periodically eats a small amount of meat. We mean a babe who is willing to do what so many females are afraid to do: pig out once in a while because it tastes good and life is too short for salad. Obviously doing this for every meal is unhealthy and veggies are important, but being unwilling to just wolf down a plateful of animal flesh from time to time could be a sign of future headaches to come. She may be insecure and may even have a political/ethical issue with eating meat, and why would you allow that negativity into your life?
If you’re at dinner with a woman you’re into and she orders chicken wings for an appetizer and then a 20 oz porterhouse for entree and justifies it by saying “oh well, guess it’ll be some extra time in the gym this week”, you have stumbled across something special, don’t mess it up, dummy.
12. She Knows How To Cure Your Hangovers
This can apply to hangover or just a bad mood, but for our purposes, the hangover scenario is a good example. Plenty of girls these days, especially in the early stages of a relationship, will just not bother being around a guy they’re dating if he’s feeling rough or hungover. Most dudes who party have heard the phrase “gimme a call when you feel better”.
But if you’re texting a girl you’re dating from bed one morning (or from your bathroom floor) and she says “man, that sounds rough, I’ll be over with a burger and a milkshake in an hour”, that is an admirable, caring creature that deserves your respect and gratitude. Treat that one right and for goodness sake, return the favor the next time she’s praying to the porcelain God after a night out.
11. She Can Quote Action Movies/Sci-Fi, Video Games
This is a rare and elusive skill and plenty of men can’t do it. How many times have you heard, “Luke, I am your father”? Vader does not say the word “Luke”, for those unsure what the problem is with that quote. Deep down, most guys have some kind of devotion to a fictional franchise. For some it is Star Wars, others like Marvel and/or DC, and others like Dragonball Z (I haven’t figured out why, but you know, you do you, I’ll do me). Lots of women like to geek out to some extent too, and finding one who’ll tell you she wants to leave a party by yelling “get to the choppa!” or gives you a compliment and follows it up with “strong in the force are you” is a special treat, cherish her.
10. She Can Talk Sports
To be honest, a millennial woman who doesn’t frown upon contact sports seems to be getting more and more rare. Those who follow a sport and can have a detailed and engaging discussion however, are absolute gems. A gal who is into sports is more likely to be active in her own life, and if you’re a guy who likes sports, it is one more thing you can enjoy with the woman in your life. Honestly, if she wants to spend time together, it might as well be doing something you both like.
In short, if you ask a girl you met recently what she is doing this weekend and her answer is something to the effect of “well, NFL Network is doing a special on the Manning family…” or “watching Michael Bisping defend his belt, what the hell else would I be doing?” you know you have a cool girl who doesn’t mind watching men be men.
9. You’ve Never Had To Ask For Space
In the early stages of a relationship, the issue of personal space is one that usually comes up and it usually involves an argument (or two). One party generally feels like everything is okay, while the other either feels neglected or completely smothered. This one is easily put: if you’ve been together a while, and are serious about seeing where things are going and neither of you have ever asked for more time together or less time together, you’ve likely found someone with a similar need for attention and this is one of the most unspoken but important elements to any relationship.
8. She Brings New Experiences Into Your Life
This is a given: Experiences are what help us all grow. They can be overwhelmingly negative and boisterously positive, but no matter what, if you do not try new things and seek out new experiences, you run the risk of becoming a stagnant person. A partner may be one of the most consistently beneficial parts of one’s life that can bring about new activities, pastimes, foods, locales, whatever it may be. If you’ve started a relationship with a woman and all of a sudden you’ve done a few new, unfamiliar things in the past month, it is probably worth thinking about keeping her around on a permanent basis.
7. She’s “Adventurous”
Well, will you look at that, we made it pretty far into an article about knowing whether a girl is a keeper without explicitly mentioning sex. Good for us, but now it’s time to talk about the magical act of hopping in bed and getting sticky. We’re guys, we all have fantasies and certain tastes and a girl who will indulge in these can be very hard to find. We won’t name any in particular, but you can use your imagination (we know you can). Plain and simple, if you mention something slightly out of the ordinary and she gets a cute, shy smile on her face and says anything along the lines of “well that’s new but I’d be willing to give it a shot”, that willingness is a great asset to have (and to keep).
6. She’s Adventurous Enough To Share A Friend With You
We aren’t talking about open relationships here, because on the vast majority of cases, those just equal some pathetic dude getting cheated on while he pathetically tries to find random tail on Tinder.
We are talking about a woman who, whether she is bi or can pretend, will find someone to come to bed with her and her man, satisfying the most common of the sick but awesome male fantasies out there. If you ever find a girl who is okay with the idea of bringing a friend into the bedroom on occasion (or on a regular basis, does that even exist?), then you’ve found a rare type of woman and should invent time travel so you can go back and meet her a lot sooner.
Lace Up Those Shoes, Forrest: Time to Run
While there are plenty of behaviors or flaws that are minor and also those that can be reversed, there are some turn-offs that are unfixable or so difficult to fix that the girl will not be worth it. Even concerns like subpar hygiene and a monumentally annoying friend group are things that could change, but the five we have chosen are (in most cases) too disastrous to waste time on. We won’t waste your time with issues like loyalty issues, intelligence concerns and attractiveness, as those go without saying.
5. Can’t Handle Money
We should clarify here, that we aren’t just talking about women who spend a bit more than they should and save a little less than they could. If your girl spends money on Starbucks and cheap sunglasses, that is pretty mainstream. We’re talking about those lasses who metaphorically vomit money everywhere they go and don’t realize that debt is a problem.
It takes too much time to make poor money habits go away. There is no easy way to say it and such difficulties are usually the parents’ fault, but no money sense is something that won’t just affect her, but will drag you down as well. A woman who can’t handle debt, is unable or unwilling to save/invest and has no interest in learning is not a woman who is worth your time. Money is important (whether you like it or not) and there is too much at stake to waste time with a woman with no concept of budgeting, saving, investing and handling debt responsibly. Of course this goes both ways, and if dudes can’t be responsible with cash, they don’t deserve a woman either.
4. No Ambition
Much like the money thing we just mentioned, this may seem like something that can change, but it isn’t Note that there is a difference between being comfortable with what you have and having no ambition. A steady, stable job with a comfortable income but not much upward mobility is not the greatest fate, but there are much worse. Working for minimum wage and not looking for anything more (for any reason a person can come up with) is inexcusable. Minimum wage is meant for high school students and new graduates looking to get experience, not a lifelong career. But getting to a broader rule, if your prospective partner doesn’t have much going for her and is doing nothing to improve her situation, she is not worth your time.
3. Nagging and Complaining
Some naggers and complainers may be so hot that a dude will convince himself that he can modify the behavior and should stick around; this is not so.
Don’t misunderstand, there are plenty of reasons for women to get on a guy’s case. If he isn’t living up to his potential or just isn’t contributing to the relationship or is just failing at all aspects of his existence, by all means, a lady should speak her mind. But there are a couple of ways to spot a nagging and complaining problem. The first is when it starts unreasonably early in a relationship. There are certain unspoken rules in the courtship process: in the same way a dude probably shouldn’t fart on a girl he’s been seeing for a few weeks, that same girl shouldn’t start complaining and nagging about small problems too early. If it has been a couple of weeks (or months) and she’s already venting and nagging about nonsense that isn’t your fault, remember what Iron Maiden said and “Run to the hiiiiiiiiiiilllls, run for your liiiiiifffeeee!”
The other way nagging and complaining become a problem you shouldn’t stick around to deal with is when they are non-stop. If you have even the slightest hint that your new crush likes to nag, whine and complain, get out, change your number, fake your death, whatever you have to do. Misery loves company and if you can’t remember the last time your girl said something nice, you’ll end up miserable. Don’t even waste time discussing it with yourself. Next.
2. Incompatible Belief System
Wherever you get your belief system, if you’re a dude with any sort of personal code of conduct (any dude should at least try to live by one), it should be important. Beliefs and thoughts are among the most essential aspects of our being and individuality. If the girl you’ve started seeing is the complete opposite in this aspect of her life, don’t try and make it work. For example, if you’re a cop and she thinks all cops are scumbags: split. If you’re all about anarchy and she works for the IRS, get out of there. If you’re dedicated to religion and she’s a militant atheist, don’t try to make it work; don’t blow your valuable time building a relationship with someone you have such a fundamental disagreement with from the start. Yeah, we know that outdated nonsense about “opposites attract”. It should read, “every now and again, a relationship works between people who are very different”. More often than not, if your entire belief system doesn’t at least fit together in some way, the relationship will be hell.
Obviously there are different levels to this. If you’re a second amendment enthusiast and she isn’t into shooting (or the political side of this issue) but doesn’t care if you shoot and exercise your rights, keep her, you can bond over other stuff. This is minor. Don’t sweat the minor stuff, but definitely pay attention to major differences. If you’re a dude who needs to fool around daily and she’s promised herself to God, it may be time to wish her the best and offer a firm handshake.
1. She’s Helpless Without You
This one can actually be terrifying. People from both sexes can be explosively useless, but this is being written for males. If you’ve been dating a woman for a little while and she wants you around more and more and it just sounds like she is a lost, blind puppy when you’re not around, this is a catastrophe waiting to happen and she likely needs psychological help.
It can seem very flattering at first to have a woman who wants you around all the time, asks for your input on everything and can barely do anything without your help, but like the great Admiral Ackbar once said, “IT’S A TRAP”. That helpless, dependent girl act is just that: an act, and if you fall for it, you’re walking into the relationship equivalent to a pit of fire lined with bear traps. We’d say tread lightly, but even that is a bad idea, tread however you want, but just make sure to tread in the other direction.