For many years now, men and women have been coexisting pretty successfully (for the most part). No matter how much we dream and pray though, the arguments will never fade. Men and women are almost born ready to argue with each other, whether it’s a platonic or romantic relationship.
No man likes to argue – neither does any woman. Both parties have their own ways of dealing with things. Men think women get too emotional, and women often think men don’t have enough emotion. This, in turn, starts another fight which is what everybody wanted to avoid in the first place.
There’s probably a million things that men still need to learn and accept when it comes to women – one of those things is knowing there are just some things you aren’t allowed to say in a relationship. If it’s a platonic friendship with a woman, there are still some things men aren’t allowed to say because when we get down to it, some things are just upsetting and offensive to women. Fighting and being called a jerk is never fun, but believe it when it’s said that there are things you can do to prevent tension and arguments in the future. If you assess a situation and really think about what should and shouldn’t be said, that’ll get you out of hot water real fast. All it takes is learning how to develop a filter. Here are 15 things that men need to learn never to say to women. Trust us, dudes, these little hints will save you so many headaches.
Texting or talking through email can often get messy. Obviously, readers aren’t able to interpret tone through texts and emails, so things can often be taken the wrong way even if it wasn’t meant to be hurtful or argumentative. One word that will always pluck a string with a woman though, is “K.” “K,” is the last thing you want to send a woman, unless she’s telling you she’s on her way to your house or something. “K” makes it seem like you’re angry, or you’re trying to end the conversation in a rude way. It’s almost always interpreted negatively, so it’s best just to wipe the response from your brain altogether.
14. “It’s up to you”
Men, women want to know that you care. About everything. If you’re going out on a date, or she’s trying to find something to watch on Netflix, she’s going to ask you where you want to go or what you want to watch. Saying “it’s up to you,” gives her the idea that you don’t care which is automatically going to put her into a mood. If you don’t want her to think that you’re just doing something because she wants you to, at least pretend to have a preference when she asks a question. If you want to go above and beyond, try and be the one who makes suggestions or asks for her opinion every now and again.
13. “Wow, you ate a lot”
Here’s the thing: women love food just as much as men do. There’s not one woman out there who isn’t down to devour an entire pizza with you or make a midnight run to Taco Bell. Women don’t always have to be dainty salad eaters who do yoga everyday – women like to EAT. If you’re with a friend, or a significant other, who can put down a ton of food or who always takes a lot of food (even if she doesn’t finish it) don’t draw attention to the fact that she can eat a lot. This is only going to make her feel insecure about what she eats and how much she eats around you. Just keep the thoughts to yourself and you’ll be fine.
12. Anything about other women
No matter how long you’ve been with a girl, talking about or complimenting other women when your girlfriend is around is never okay. You could have a totally down-to-earth girl who claims that she doesn’t get jealous, but at the end of the day, she does (even if she doesn’t show it). Talking about how hot a friend of hers is or visibly checking out another woman in front of your spouse is not going to get you points at all. Not only is this incredibly insensitive, but you’re making it seem as if she’s not enough for you – so just don’t do it. Ever.
11. “Are you wearing makeup?”
Unfortunately, a lot of women are insecure about their natural beauty and tend to cover it up with makeup. Some girls wear a ton, others wear just a little bit; whatever her beauty regimen is, it’s best to either embrace it or just let it be. Most women wear makeup to feel confident around other women – it’s rare that they wear it for men, believe it or not. The worst thing you could say to a girl who spent an hour plus on getting ready is “are you wearing makeup?” Nine times out of ten, she’s going to think you believe she looks ugly or that she looks tired, or that you just don’t notice her looks at all.
10. “Is that what you’re going to wear?”
Before going out with your girlfriend, even if it’s just to the store, do not ask her “is that what you’re going to wear?” Asking this is pretty much opening the door for her to ask you if she looks bad or if she should change. Covering it up with “oh, no, I was just wondering,” isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card either. She’s going to wonder why you were inquiring about what she was wearing in the first place, and most likely end up changing and checking with you on everything she tries to wear in the near future.
9. “You take so long to get ready”
Appearance is where a lot of a women’s confidence comes from. Some women can spend a few hours on getting ready – it’s really that serious. If she spends a lot of time on her makeup and her hair, it’s best to just appreciate that you have somebody as beautiful as herself and that she cares about the way she looks. Telling her “you take so long to get ready,” is already something she knows, but it’s going to annoy her after a while. Instead of telling her it took her a long time, tell her that her makeup or hair looks good or that she’s beautiful. It’s not hard to swap the two phrases out and it’ll leave her feeling good.
8. “You always do that”
This phrase isn’t nearly as bad as some others, but when in a fight, it’s best to avoid it. If your girlfriend does something cute that you like, that’s the only time it’s okay to say “you always do that.” If there’s something that she does in a fight or something that you don’t like in general, it’s best to try and find something else to say other than “you always do that.” Saying this is definitely going to open the door to a fight or she’s going to challenge you with the bad habits that you always indulge in.
7. “Maybe you’re pregnant”
A majority of the time, when men say “maybe you’re pregnant” to a woman, it’s intended as a joke. She, however, is not going to take it like a joke. There’s a ton of things wrong with saying this to a woman. If she’s not feeling well, you don’t reply with suggesting that she’s pregnant. Women are allowed to feel sick without pregnancy being the only explanation. A lot of people think that saying this is okay, so not only is it going to annoy her, but she’s probably going to follow-up with asking if she looks pregnant – which leads to the “oh, so you think I’m fat?” argument, which is never fun.
6. “You get all emotional”
Men are raised very differently from women, and a lot of it is for good reason. One thing that shouldn’t be gender-specific however, is when and how much emotion can be shown. Women are allowed to cry whenever they want and men just think she’s being a normal woman; but when a man cries, he’s weak and should feel embarrassed. Neither of these things are correct. Humans show emotion in whatever why they need to, and shaming each other for crying, or for not crying, is ridiculous. If your friend or girlfriend gets upset quicker than you do, you don’t respond by telling her she’s emotional. Figure it out or try to practice a bit of empathy. It can go a long way.
5. “Can we have sex?”
When things are getting hot and heavy (or when they’re not) asking a woman if you can have sex is one of the least sexy things to say. Not only is it just putting it out there, but you’re actually asking her before acting upon it. Obviously, make sure it’s consensual, but blatantly asking just makes the situation kind of humorous and awkward. If she seems like she wants to, go ahead with it until she tells you to stop. If she doesn’t seem like she wants to, why would you ask in the first place? It’ll just seem creepy and desperate.
Regardless of if it’s in person or over text messaging, telling a girl “whatever” is not smart. Saying “whatever” is the ultimate eff you without actually saying eff you. Not only that, but it automatically makes it seem like you don’t care about what she’s saying or what you two are arguing about. Even if a woman is reiterating a point that’s already been made, “whatever” isn’t the correct response, ever. It’s better to just stay silent and let her carry on rather than saying whatever.
3. “You don’t look THAT fat”
Talking about a woman’s weight or figure is a battlezone. There are so many things that could go wrong, and she might actually explode if you word something the wrong way or look at a certain part of her body that she’s insecure with for too long. When a girl is trying something on or getting your opinion on an outfit she’s wearing and suggests that something “makes her look so fat,” it’s the man’s job to tell her she looks wonderful and furiously deny that she could ever look fat. Saying “you don’t look THAT fat” implies that she looks kind of fat and that’s going to be locked in her brain for weeks to come – and she won’t let you forget it, either.
2. Saying nothing at all
Women can admit (or at least most of them can) that they always want to have the last word and it’s nearly impossible not to butt into what you’re saying during a fight. They’re always out to make their point and counter what you’ve said and that’ll never change. The only way to avoid those annoying habits is to say nothing at all during an argument; but that’s also one of the worst things that you can do to a woman. She’s going to think that you don’t care about whatever it is you’re arguing about or that you literally don’t have the capability to communicate when things get hard. Just always have a response ready, because saying nothing at all is going to make the problem exponentially bigger.
1. “Is it that time of the month?”
Hands down, the worst thing to say to a woman is “is it that time of the month?” Even if you’re right about it being “that time of the month,” she’s still going to be pissed that you’d ask. Using a woman’s period as a means to justify why she’s angry makes you seem insensitive and like her feelings aren’t validated just because she’s on her period. If she’s not actually going through her time of the month and you ask if she is, that’s going to upset her too. Men have to learn to respect that women’s anger always needs to be valid – and it doesn’t need to be justified with “that time of the month.” This one may be a funny joke to you and your buddies, but it’s also one of the quickest ways to cause a woman to blow her stack.