Men and women are different. Really? Are they? If you have ever seen one single stand up comedian over the course of your lifetime then you definitely know this fact. These differences do not force us to live apart on separate planets…yet! Somehow men and women do other things than merely share the planet, like date each other and get along. Sometimes, on that rare occasion, they even vow to be truthful to each other for the rest of their lives and get married. Joined together forever with someone sounds a little intimidating, doesn’t it?
So how do they do it? Is anyone pretending to like something for the sake of being in a relationship? Surely both are faking something to a certain degree. It is almost natural even. You cannot possibly like everything that your significant other likes, it’s literally impossible. It’s nice to pretend sometimes and surely both ways embellish a little bit. Though I, and most likely all men, would like to believe that men pretend a lot more.
Now, this list is just for fun and women shouldn’t take it too seriously. Please don’t tell him off after you read it. So here is the list of the top ten things men only pretend to care about when dating a woman.
10. Dumb TV Shows
Guys are sitting on the couch to be next to you, not to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It doesn’t matter how many times he tells you that he’s interested in what will happen to Kourtney and Kim this week. Truth is, he isn’t. Same goes for any kind of reality TV show where a bunch of people do nothing for an hour. Does he enjoy looking at the girl on TV who is ALWAYS beautiful but likely messed up beyond belief? Probably. But, that’s not enough to get a guy interested in a TV show. Especially a reality TV show. Girls, you know it sucks too, either give it up completely or give your guy a pass when you want to watch that god awful TV show.
9. Celebrity Gossip
Sadly, some girls talk about these celebrities like they are their best friends. Do you know who Jen is dating now? Who? Jen, who works with you? No, she’s talking about Jennifer Aniston (or whoever is popular these days). You do not know her, so what difference does it make who she is dating? Just watch her in Friends, as she was funny on that show by doing her job, which is acting. Living her life, which has nothing to do with you, should not matter to you, but guess who it matters to even less than you? That is right, the guy you are seeing. He does not care at all. Uou can quiz him about it a week later and he will say “yeah, that guy there that was in that movie with the thing.” It doesn’t make a difference to him, not now and not ever. And contrarily to popular belief, men do not care what model an athlete is dating, no matter how attractive she is. If we ask anything about her, it’s only to see a quick picture of her.
8. What Negative Things Guys Did To You in The Past
Is it fairly interesting? Maybe, but guys only use it as a guideline to see what we can get away with and to compare ourselves to the old boyfriends. We take note, only so we can say “I know I did that but at least it wasn’t as bad as what Tony did.” Basically, we don’t really care, but pretend to care because clearly it is important to you. When it is really terrible stuff, it is understandable, as you would want to be able to tell someone you are dating about traumatic life events. However, when you are telling a story of how a guy didn’t come around the car to open your door, we really don’t care. It’s 2014, some guys still do it and some don’t, but why are you telling me this? It doesn’t make a difference to me.
7. Chick Flicks
This is one that really bugs me, because women know damn well that this type of love story doesn’t exist. If guys had a nickel for every time their girl asked them “will you still love me like that when we are old?” they’d be rich. Women fall into the Hollywood trap, then take it out on their boyfriends who only went to the movie because their girlfriend wanted to see it. Don’t you see how he just ruined his Saturday night to watch this terrible move? He did that for you, which is the most romantic thing ever. Appreciate the gesture, don’t get too caught up in the movie.
I’m not saying that guys hate animals. Many of them do, but what I am saying is we don’t exactly care that they made a mess or cuddled you in a cute way. We especially don’t care, or believe you, when you tell us how remarkably smart you think your pet is. If it starts to speak, come find me and I’ll be all ears. Your animal may be a genius, but point is, if we are watching a trick, that’s cool. If they did a trick and you are telling us about it, that’s not cool at all and we’re probably not really listening.
No matter how cool your job may be, no one wants a boring run down of what you actually did all day. If there is a story to tell, then by all means tell it. Like something radical, but don’t talk about how your boss spilled his coffee unless it burned him and that caused him to fall out a window. Same goes for any co workers who you may have quarrels with. Guess what? We likely have never, and will never, meet or interact with any of these people. If they are talking behind your back or you are just suspecting that they are talking behind your back, we really don’t care. It doesn’t matter to us, especially since we don’t know them and don ‘t care to know them. If they become your friends, maybe, but even then, we will be polite and just say hello at the Christmas party.
I’ll never understand how much time women spend on their nails. It seems like such a useless expense that is only used to show off to their other friends who have similar looking nails. Long or colored, that is about as far as it goes for men. Please don’t ask us if we saw them or if we like them, as we will always say yes. Mostly because we don’t know what the answer is. We don’t want to insult you, but it just makes so little difference to us.
3. Being Catty to a Girl You Just Saw
Sometimes you will be out on a date and your girlfriend will see another girl and feel the need to mock them in some minor way. Whether she mocks her fashion sense or how her hair is placed or better yet, if they know them, they will fling some sort of gossip your way. I’ll tell you what, even if we met that girl before tonight, then we don’t care at all. We will sit and pretend like we do because you want to talk about it and you will anyway. So go ahead, make fun of her dress and tell us some gossip about them, we’ll be cruise control.
This one has been around from the beginning of time, as girls want to shop and guys do not care about it. In fact, some rich guys would rather just give their girlfriend their credit card and let them run wild than going themselves. It’s probably worth the extra money that they will spend just so you don’t have to hear or be part of it. The girls will buy pointless things that they will likely never wear and then we are expected to be sympathetic about it. On top of that, there is the endless hours of trying stuff on and the talking about every store that they want to go to. Just buy it, wear it and leave us out of it.
1. Friend’s Social Media Feeds
This one is a new one, but it has flown past everything and vaulted itself to the top spot. We do not care about anything your friends posted on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or any other pointless social media site. Just because Becky posted hurtful song lyrics that you suspect are about you, that doesn’t mean that we want to hear about it. Chances are that she just posted the lyrics because she liked the song. Ever think about that? If you think it is about you, you probably just feel guilty for something you did. Don’t tell your girl that though as she will not be pleased. Because minutes later there will be a Facebook status about you, and little does she know that we don’t care about that either.
Same goes for pictures of your friends that are in bad taste. You can show us all you want, but we will just agree to everything you say while thinking, wow your friend has some nice legs on her.