First dates. We have all had them, and let’s be honest, most of them are horrible. While the potential is always there to fall in love with the perfect stranger, the reality is that more likely than not you will be spending some incredibly awkward time with someone you don’t like a whole lot.
The thing is, you just are not going to have chemistry with most of the women out there, and if you do have chemistry you are also pretty sure to mess it up by saying something totally stupid. We get it, you are lonely. You spend all your nights watching TV and playing around on Tinder- you want to meet the love of your life, or at the very least, someone that you can hang around with, go out and get a bite, and do the deed with every once in a while.
So what do you say on a date? There are a lot of things you can say on a first date, and then there are things that you should never, ever say, so pay attention. These are 15 things that have actually been said on a first date. Do not, under any circumstances, say any of these things to anyone ever. While you might think you are being super charming, the reality of the situation is much different. And, if you say these things, you will find out about the reality the hard way.
Here are the 15 worst things to say on a first date. Use these if you will, but don’t say we didn’t warn you. And please don’t come crying to us when they backfire.
15. You Seem Nervous
This one should be a no-brainer, but it never, ever should be said under any circumstances. It is literally one of the very worst things that you could say on a date. For one thing, if the chick is nervous, then she is just going to feel a million times worse after you say this. And if she is not nervous, then you saying this implies that she is acting oddly, which of course is going to make her nervous. This should not be rocket science, but if someone looks nervous on a date, try and make her more comfortable, don’t point it out. If you do so all that is going to do is make everything more awkward. Tell her that she looks great, laugh at her jokes, ask about her work, pretty much do anything except ask her why she looks so nervous.
14. You’re Too Cute To Be Single
This one is kind of underground when it comes to saying stupid things on a first date. We get it, what you are trying to say is “Wow, you sure are cute, I sure am lucky to be on a date with you right now and that someone else has not snatched you up.” But it comes out more like “Hmm, you sure are cute. What is wrong with you that you are still single? The whole point of this is- don’t ever ask why a woman is single, or a guy for that matter. Even if you think it is coming off well, it just isn’t. Asking someone on a date why they are single is really kind of saying “Are you mentally ill? Are you a drunk? Do you have trouble committing?” Just be smart and leave this one alone, and do not go there. Trust me on this.
13. You’d Like My Wife
So this might sound like a bit of a joke to you, but let me remind you that all of these were actually said to someone on a first date. The thing is, when you are going out with people that you meet online, you don’t really know what their scene is, and yes; some of them are married and just trying to find someone on the side. If you are out on a date with someone like this, well, that is a drag and better luck next time. If you are the one that is married out on a date, first of all, what is wrong with you? And second, you might want to figure out a better way to meet women other than asking them out on a date and ambushing them by asking them a question like this. Just a suggestion, but then again sociopaths usually don’t take suggestions well.
12. How Many People Have You Slept With?
I get it. You are out on a first date and you are curious as to how many partners the person you are out with has had. That is perfectly normal of course. What is not perfectly normal is asking her that question. I mean really? What is wrong with you? This is going to freak your date out immensely. This question should almost never be asked, even if you have been in a long-term relationship it is a tough one to put out there. But asking it on the very first date is just a total mistake. You are either going to come across as a controlling weirdo that only wants a woman that is “pure” or you will look like a creepy stalker that wants a whole bunch of details. Unless you want to look like either of these types, just leave this one alone.
11. You Remind Me Of My Mom
All right, women really do not like this one. A guy that says this is trying to be sweet. He is saying that his mother has some really nice qualities, and that you, as his date, remind him of those qualities that he holds so dear. This is what he is trying to do. Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever? What he does in actuality is quite different. He manages to insinuate that he is a creepy little Momma’s boy, and also is able to take all of the sexuality and flirtatiousness out of the conversation all at once. There is nothing that kills a flirtatious conversation quicker than a guy saying that his date reminds him of him mother. Please, do not say this under any circumstances. If you do, your first date is going to turn into your last date quicker than you ever expected it to.
10. You’re Not The Type Of Person I Usually Go For
“So you see I normally date supermodels, women that are really hot, that dress well, that can carry on a good conversation. I don’t usually date women like you, you are not the type that I usually go for…” Okay, so I know this is not what you are actually saying, but this is what a woman hears when you say this to her on a first date. Seriously, what are you even trying to say with this? Are you trying to be complimentary? Because you are not, all you are saying is there is a type of woman that you usually date, and that this woman across the table from you is not that type. If this is the best thing that you can think of to say during a date, then you might as well just stay home and watch TV. For real.
9. So, Are You smart?
Asking a woman if she is smart implies two things. First of all, it is saying that you think that she is probably kind of dumb. But more importantly it lets her know without a shadow of a doubt that you are kind of dumb. Think about it. I mean if you were smart would you have to ask her how smart she is? Couldn’t you just tell on your own? The only chance you have asking a question like this is if the woman you are asking it to is dumb and just thinks she is smart. That way she will answer yes to your question but be too stupid to figure out how dumb you were for asking it. Either way, no matter how you slice it, you asking this question just makes it pretty obvious that there is at least one dumb person at the table, and it is probably not her.
8. So, How Long Have You Been Single?
Do you want to hear about how horrible your date’s last relationship was? Do you want to hear that he cheated on her, that he was verbally abusive, or that he could never find a job and just sat around playing World of Warcraft all the time? Or do you want to hear about how your first date just had a mental breakdown and her last boyfriend left her because he didn’t understand and now she has really big trust issues? Does this sound fun to you? No??? Well, then don’t ask this question. You really don’t want to know about how long she has been single. Just keep it light, stay in the now, just talk about things that matter today. Asking this question is just going to put your date on the defensive, and also force her into talking about why she is single. Don’t do that.
7. You’d Make A Beautiful Mother
This one is just a huge creep alert. If you say this you might as well just have a giant sign over your head that is blinking “Run Away” in neon letters. Seriously, don’t say things like this. Maybe it is true, maybe you are really thinking it, but unless you are the star of The Bachelor, just don’t even go into places like this. Don’t say anything about how you could see yourself falling in love with her, don’t say anything about how you want kids, and for the love of all that is holy, don’t say anything about how your date would make a beautiful mom. It would honestly be better to be totally boring and talk about the weather than to go into something like this, unless you want her to be telling all her friends about what a weirdo she dated last night.
6. My Ex Used To…
Yeah, no. Just no. Don’t ever do this on a first date. People just don’t want to hear about it. It is a huge red flag. It makes it look like you are not over the woman or guy that you used to go out with, and it is just bad form all around. Even in long term relationships people hate hearing about each others exes, so don’t do it on a date under any circumstances. If you complain about your ex then you seem bitter and make it seem like the reason you and your ex broke up was you. If you say nice things about your ex then you seem pathetic and make it seem that if your ex wanted you back you would be happy. Either way you seem totally pathetic. Do you want to seem totally pathetic? No? Then don’t talk about your ex.
5. Do You Go On A Lot Of Dates?
There are some occasions that this could be okay. For example let’s say that your date is going okay, and that most of your other dates have gone really badly. Then this question could be asked just as something funny to say about how hard dating is. Other than that, just totally leave it alone. If she says yes, that she does go on a lot of dates then she looks a little like a tramp, and also like someone who has had a lot of failed dates. If she says no, that she has not gone on a lot of dates, then she looks like someone who is undesirable and that no one asks out. Or even worse, maybe it is because she just got over a relationship, and you don’t want to know about that right away. Just leave this question alone. Do not ask it.
4. I’m Not Looking For Anything Serious
Why? This does really not to be said. If you don’t want anything serious, then that can be figured out down the road- you don’t need to bring it up when you are sitting down in the first 20 minutes of conversation. It also implies that your date actually does want something serious and that you are letting him or her know that is not going to happen. Why would you even presume your date wants something serious with you? For all you know, she is sitting there right now wishing she was anywhere but on this date with you, at the same time that you are telling her you don’t want a serious relationship. This just makes you look lame. Just act like you are on a first date. You can save the “I don’t want anything serious” stuff for when she proposes to you.
3. Not To Sound Sexist Or Anything But…
If you even think that you are going to say these words just stop and keep your mouth closed until another thought enters your head. If you are thinking that you need to qualify what you are about to say because it might seem sexist, well, it probably is sexist, at least a little bit anyway. And honestly, being sexist is probably not the way you want to come off on a first date. In fact, just the fact that you are about to say anything that might even resemble sexism on a first date is probably a good reason for you to practice up on your social skills. Just stick to the conversations you are good at, whatever those may be, and leave alone topics of conversation that might imply that you are sexist, because, hey man, chicks don’t dig that. Trust me on that one.
2. How Long Until You’ll Let Me Sleep With You?
I get it. I really do. You obviously are thinking this, and maybe she is too. And maybe you are even trying to say it in a flirty sort of bad boy way. But it is not going to work unless there is a ton of booze involved somewhere along the way. There are ways to be flirtatious, and there are ways not to be flirtatious, and just coming out and asking a woman straight up when she is going to let you do the deed with her is most definitely not how to do it. The whole first date thing is awkward enough anyway, do not make it worse. If there is chemistry there then you guys will sleep together; maybe even on the first date, who knows? But pretty much the only reason it won’t happen for sure is if you say something dumb. So don’t say it.
1. So, How Do You Think That Went?
Please, don’t ask at the end of the date how it went. This is one thing that should never be asked in any circumstance. You obviously should already know. If you don’t know that the date went well it pretty much means that it didn’t, and if it didn’t at least have the pride and intelligence to just let it go, don’t force her to say it. It is obviously fine to say things like “I had an awesome time, want to do that again?” but it is not okay to say they equivalent of “I am not sure what sort of time I had, do you like me?” If there was any spark you just poured a huge bucket of cold water all over it, and if there wasn’t you just lost every last little shred of dignity that you may have had left.