Being an alpha male means many things. We often think of wild animals who snarl and fight over the lead position or sometimes it relates to a control-freak kind of person who no one really wants to deal with, but does anyway just to make peace. Either way, most people willingly follow alpha males as they demand control and act as though they are ahead of the game. Ever wonder if you’re an alpha male and if you’re the kind women love or… the other kind?
It’s not necessary to embody all of these traits, but the more you relate to, the more likely it is that you are ‘one of those guys’ who have it all. We’ve gone into detail on how much of each characteristic is a good thing. After all, too much of a good thing quickly turns into something no one wants. Not enough, of course, makes it hard to detect.
If you’re not sure after going through this list, make a quick checklist on one of your devices. Make a list of the traits from one to ten and check off those that come naturally. Then next to those checks, list a number of how intense or balanced you are in those areas. Then check off those you feel you could learn easily.
For example: You may be a natural leader, so you would check it off. Then from a one to ten scale, how much of a natural leader are you? Are you a control freak (a 10?) or a balanced leader who knows how to incorporate others’ opinions and ideas into the end results.
If you find none of these traits relate to you and you have no interest in learning or deepening how to be a charismatic alpha male, then you might enjoy being someone who feels no compunction to be an alpha or a follower. Your path might be completely different and that’s what makes the world go round.
However, if you’re dying to be the kind of character Gabriel Macht plays as Harvey Specter in Suits, then get ready to take a few notes. His character is a good example of a sexy alpha male and he practically owns this list.
Everyone likes to be a winner, but the difference with an alpha is they expect to be the winner. It’s that confidence thing – they aren’t trying to undermine anyone else, they are simply doing their thing by being the best they can be and end up crossing the finish line first.
Alpha males naturally feel an inner yearning to make progress and feel fulfilled from what they are spending time doing. Just like all of the other characteristics on this list, too much or too little just doesn’t work. Ambition is great until it takes over all decision-making, then it is out of whack and causes imbalance. Everyone around them takes a back seat and they lose the sense of what is important in the real scheme of things. So if you are one of “those guys” then get over your silly self and find a way to balance ambition with the values that really matter.
8. Breaking Rules
Breaking rules doesn’t mean being deceitful or dishonest, it just means you have the chutzpah to realize that many rules were made to be broken. Drawing outside the line, thinking outside the box and creating your own game is what this trait is all about. It demonstrates a deep understanding that the world is made up of man-made laws, rules and guidelines and some of them are just plain ole silly.
Confidence is attractive in both genders, as it makes those around them comfortable and somehow safe. Being around a man who is comfortable in his own skin is intoxicating. Being with someone who will tackle any situation that comes his way, with class and an eye for finding win-win situations is amazing. Too much confidence can come off as egocentric, too little seems weak. The art of maintaining the right balance of confidence and humility might take a little practice. Think Cary Grant, George Clooney and Matt Damon and you will see the sexy balance in play.
6. Leading the Pack
The alpha guy will always be the one leading the pack, even when he isn’t the head of the organization or group. He nonchalantly does his own thing and before he knows, everyone is following. It’s axiomatic – the alpha leader is aware of where he is going and the group follows because if he is successful, then they have a glimmer of hope that they, too, will be successful. Where you go, people will follow.
5. Protective Instincts
Of course both genders have protective instincts over their young, but alpha men feel the responsibility for taking care of everyone around them. The true alpha male does it without fanfare, but the others prefer to act like they are the gatekeeper to progress, safety and self-respect. Beware of being the latter. Everyone wants someone who is watching their back. No one wants a censor who monitors everyone’s activities to the last degree.
4. No Peer Pressure – Just You
If you’re an alpha male you are completely aware that you make your own way in this world without allowing others opinions to determine your path. Your ego is in check because you’re busy following your own path without looking on either side or behind. You’re too busy filling your time following passions and taking steps to meet your goals.
3. Likes Ego Stroked
Okay, who doesn’t love a good ego-stroking? Even a dog will perform more if he knows you appreciate his tricks. The alpha male tends to know he has got it going on, so he doesn’t really worry about whether people are watching. However, he is secretly waiting for kudos to trickle in – after all he performs better with a little ego-stroking. A strong alpha male has a self-created ego that doesn’t rely on others opinions. He knows he is the pace-setter and the one everyone else is following. Yet, when others notice, it is icing on the cake.
2. Loves To Be Right
There are the guys who have to be right all of the time and those who are actually thrilled when they have something to contribute that they know is right. The kind of alpha males who shine in the other areas on this list automatically have a sense of when to be happy about being right. Never to rub someone’s nose in – only to feel like a welcome contributor.
1. Persistance – In A Good Way
Are you one of those guys who knows what you want and will keep at it until it is yours? Persistence can be a very sexy trait, as long as it isn’t coupled with insensitivity. Are you bringing roses and red wine because you like them or because she does? Have you been listening? Knowing when to use that alpha male persistence or when to back off is a balancing act that every alpha male would be wise to learn. In business, of course, persistence may not get you many friends, but it will get you the deal… always coupled with a certain degree of sensitivity.