Many people are opposed to online dating including the agonizing dating profile creation. It is an awkward process where one has to come up with the right phrase, attitude, or general appearance along with speaking highly about themselves. It is similar to a job application, and those are bad enough as it is but inevitably we find a way to sell ourselves in hopes to land a gig and in this case to score a date.
Online dating has many success stories where people have gotten married, divorced, engaged, remarried, or figured out a way to have fun or to casually make new friends. These outcomes typically arise through one’s online profile where they have clarified what they are looking for.
As one gets older, dating life seems to get more challenging and annoying where one is too busy with their career, friends, activities, or previous bad relationships, that it appears almost impossible to find any fulfilling romance. Therefore, online dating seems to be the next step to go where some people explain it as window shopping for a mate or a random browse out of pure boredom. You have a chance to search through the multiple personalities, looks and to consider dating that person more or less. Nowadays, there is a vast variety of dating sites ranging from OKcupid, Match.com, Tinder, Bumble, to Christian Mingle, Metalhead Dating, and even Jdate. They all seek the same result, but a few of these categorize are for different types of people to better find their true match or hook up. However, one thing remains the same for all: what do you put on your profile and how do you advertise yourself? Many struggle with looking too desperate, too obscene, too blank, or a few can accidentally be considered as a catfish. Here are fifteen simple ways to boost your online profile to guarantee a message, date, or even find your one true mate.
15. Choosing the Right Username
Creating a username seems as though it is a simple task, however, you would be surprised at the effect it has. Depending on which username is chosen, you never know how serious someone is or not. The infamous username has been universal over the years whether it was for your Xbox, Playstation, or the classic Instant Messenger (remember AIM?). One would select a name that would pop out and reveal something about themselves.
Presently, if someone chooses to incorporate their real name, it would be overlooked and considered unappealing. For instance, how many “Mike1234” or “Susan000” are you going to find? Names do not individually stand out until you speak to that particular person.
Obscenity names such as “Huge4U” or cliched phrases including “Looking4U,” “LoveSavior” should never be a choice. One should consider selecting a name that reveals your personality, appearance or interests such as “GuitarSoul23,” “TravelerAtHeart,” “SouthernGal88” or “ShortBrownEyes.”
14. Your Profile Photo
For starters, no one wants to see a close up of your abs, cleavage, thighs, crotch, etc. Initially one would want to see a clear shot of your face with extra room to get an idea of the body type. The main profile image should not include friends, sunglasses, toys, goofiness, nor an over the top self-portrait as though you placed an acting headshot (which those over-the-top photos can appear as a catfish).
Try selecting an image where someone can see who you are – personality-wise. Your profile image is the initial key to swipe left or right on dating apps such as OKCUPID and Tinder. For those who are serious about finding someone, show a clear image. There are many ways to take a clear picture of yourself; all you have to do is ask a friend to take a photo of you at a place that you enjoy whether at a concert, sports game, park, bar, beach, etc. You shouldn’t be too revealing because that leads to the wrong traffic and showcases desperation (unless you are specifically and only looking for that).
13. The Photo Album
Here is where you have an opportunity to showcase your personality through photos. No one cares to see how many adult beverages you can tackle nor see how intoxicated you are during an evening out with friends. What you should want to reveal to a hopeful mate are: your happy face, hung over look, relaxed, refreshed, and even include your work face. Showcase a full body shot and have fun by revealing an image if you wear glasses, a tattoo, or your favorite hat. Do not post revealing pictures as you want someone to like you for who you are personality wise and not be perceived as a desperate individual where many would end up taking advantage.
Be selective on your selfies, you do not want to have an entire album to be just that. Remember to dress like yourself, for instance, if you like to wear band T-shirts, a suit, jeans, or bandanas, showcase that where someone can accept your individuality. You do not want to impress someone by exaggeration and photos that do not represent you as a person. These images are intended to capture your identity and what personality you have.
It makes sense; you want to lie or embellish in certain aspects about yourself that does not exist at all to land a date. People tend to gloat about their past or do their best to name drop in hopes to impress someone. The reality is, no one cares. What matters is getting to know the other person, seeing if there is a connection.
Now in the body of your profile, write with honesty: from your favorite food, allergies, to admitting your favorite TV show and try not to exaggerate. Remember, you are on a dating site to catch your match, someone you are compatible with and one who would understand you as well. Whether you are a nerd, explorer, musician, jock, hipster, include that in there and do not be ashamed of who you are. Lying will lead you towards the wrong person and who has the time nor energy to continue finding the wrong person based on lies?
11. Desperation is a Turn Off
Be careful with your wording, you do not want to express how much you are striving to find the love of your life or your obsessive desire to get laid. It is evident most people who participate in online dating are there for the chance to find a partner. Therefore you do not need to express dramatically as though you are pleading for your life in your “about me” section.
When you are applying for a job, you don’t go “please hire me so I can have a paycheck!” The same is true here where you should never say “please date me so we can get married” or “please date me so I can get laid.” It just does not work. Additionally, do not show any sign of desperation in a direct message, and if you message the same person four times, you should learn patience or accept the fact that it is not meant to be and move on.
10. Get Rid of the “Woe is Me” Attitude
Life is rough. At some point in one’s life we will all end up experiencing hard times, setbacks, trying days, and horrifying exes where we will have a moment thinking we are doomed. The question is, do you want to move into a relationship with someone because they feel bad about your horrible past and present baggage? Naturally, sad things occur, but you do not need to vent your troubles on your dating profile.
You want someone to like you for who you are and not the awful past you have. You can share the sob and horror stories for a rainy day or compare notes as a joke. Remember to be yourself but do not reveal all of you. Be straightforward and cut to the chase, find someone that likes you instead of searching for someone who will feel sorry for you. Pity will lead to someone feeling forced into the relationship because they will feel trapped and guilty to leave you due to your depressing stories.
9. Be Confident but, Let Go of Your Ego
It is time to be blunt; there are way too many overly confident men and women on dating sites. Many would write in full detail on their profile as though they are the gift to the world where you should be lucky to date someone worthy of their elite and entitled status. It is understandable that you want to showcase confidence because confidence is a sexy attribute. However, try to be more charismatic with your confidence instead.
The ego is not attractive; it is more repulsive than anything else. It spits out arrogance that only people who have egos will understand while feeding into it and causing an ego battle. Similar to working in an office, people tend to stay away from those who carry the big egotistical stick or just smile and nod, wait until they leave the room to do an eye roll. The same applies to your online dating profile. In short, be confidently humble.
8. Watch Your Word Count
There is a limited timeframe someone allots him or herself to read another profile. You do not want to browse a person and discover they have written their entire life story. The person becomes tedious, and you get tired of reading that you just say to yourself, “pass” and move on to the next person.
A long drawn out profile showcases desperation. However, if you put very few words with minimal detail, one would assume it is a catfish profile, someone who hasn’t put much effort into it or doesn’t know what they are looking for. No one wants to read a novella and no one has the time to read it. When browsing through someone’s information, they quickly look at hobbies, interests, musical and movie preferences. They want to get the gist of who you are but do not need to get the full rundown. Consider it as placing the cliff notes version of yourself.
7. Proofread Your Profile
With technology these days and the shortened lingos and slangs, it has become a common trend where people do not read their writing. Auto-correct on the phone alone has caused enough crazy damage as well. Similar to a cover letter and resume for a job, double check your writing, make sure the punctuation, grammar, and spelling are correct. Try not to use all of the slangs and lingos.
Once you get to know the person, then use it but when you are expressing who you are for the first time and your first impression is that you do not know how to write correctly or spell, it can be a turnoff for many. If you need help on grammatical errors and tools, there are many outlets online that can help with that or as embarrassing as it may be to some, have a friend proofread your profile. You want to find someone, therefore take the time and effort to make such adjustments.
6. Complete Your Profile
When filling out an application form despite how annoying and lengthy the process is, once it’s incomplete it is considered null and void. The same applies to your online dating profile. Remember to answer the questions, fill out what you are looking for, and describe who you are. Those that are not brave enough to upload a picture of themselves well, that profile is automatically assumed as a hacked account.
The more information and answers you reveal about yourself, the better chance you have to connect with the right person who seems like a better match for you. Additionally, it will draw attention even further, the more you reveal about yourself (keep it brief), the better. No one needs to know what you had for breakfast either, just fill out each section and describe what is unique about yourself that would make you stand out from the rest.
5. No One Wants to See the Opposite Sex
Unless you are solely looking for friendship, an open relationship, or a polyamorous relationship, do not post photos of you with the opposite sex. No one wants to see your ex, and those awful visibly cropped photos or censored images that were evident that it was a picture of someone and their ex. Take a new photo and experience instead of sharing “Oh these are things I did with an ex.” Secondly, even if this person is just a friend, you want to keep that clean from the profile as well. It will look like you are a couple, including if the person is your brother or sister. Keep the photos focusing on showcasing who you are individually and you can reveal the ones in your current or old life on a later date, and date is the key word.
4. No One Wants to See Your Kids or Pets
As much as it’s adorable seeing those images of someone with a fluffy dog, cat, or child it should stay clear from the dating profile. Understandably so, people do have children and are divorced and want to showcase their love for their children or their love for being single with their pets. It happens, it’s tempting for many. However, aside from the small questionnaire on the profile stating if you have any children or pets, you should not promote such images on your profile.
The more the person gets to know you, the more they will get to know your dog, cat, or child. It is best to reveal these adorable creatures after getting to know someone more. Additionally, people do post photos of pets and kids that aren’t even theirs and could cause an instant confusion. You never know, and it is best to leave certain aspects a mystery.
3. No One Cares About Your Cliche’d Charm
You’ve read those profiles before, as they describe their dreams and long walks on the beach while sipping wine on the mountain top trying to find their soulmate to join them for the ride. No one needs to dabble in on the romantic metaphors as though the profile is written a Fifty Shades of Grey audience. Learn to be sincere, whereas the over the top romanticism does not exist.
Be straightforward and honest. Leave the cliches and fantasy-roleplaying after you meet the person and connect on that level. Everyone does want to escape to some far away land into the mountains and live happily ever after, but please be realistic and less sweet-talking on your profile. Sadly several men and women would woo a partner with such false words that the outcome does not end quite well. Charming can go so far, where these beautiful words could turn into false hope and failed expectations.
2. Be Open Minded
Everyone has a different taste and style with who they are looking to spend the rest of their lives with, have a few dates, and so forth. However, that phrase, “never judge a book by its cover,” is true. Many wish they could be with a blonde and blue-eyed person, or the dreamy musician, or a jock, etc.. However, depending on the profile and the personality, learn to accept the curvy, the athletic, the few extra pounds, the skinny, the brunette, the redhead, etc… Typically in an online profile it asks why someone should message you, do not go into details that state “only blondes,” “a big bust,” or even “must have long hair;” leave that blank and write a simplistic answer that does not limit your search.
A closed minded and shallow profile will only make you appear as just that, closed minded and shallow. Let nature take its course and you might find someone more appealing and attractive in your non-typical preferred choice.
1. Remember the KISS Method
The kiss method is referred to as Keep It Simple Stupid. You do not want to complicate your profile by using powerful slug lines, complex thinking, poetry, and lengthy novels. Your profile is a general outline of who you are.
You are selling yourself, but you want to reveal who you are looking for and who should message you. Explain what makes you unique but without writing as though you are writing in a secret code language. Don’t worry too much, don’t over think, and don’t have a careless attitude. Remember to be clear on what you want, who you want, and you will be surprised who will message you. The more complicated, confusing, and lengthy your profile will be, the less of a chance people will message you. The cleaner, stylized profile will gain more visitors where you would then book more dates.