Most men probably wish they had the secret formula to please every single woman in bed. If they could just get their hands on that formula, they’d have to fight the women off with a stick! Well, the sad truth is that there is no one single thing you can do that everyone will like. All women have different tastes, and their bodies react in different ways.
However, there are quite a few things that most women seem to agree on. Gathered through surveys, discussion boards, and idle gossip, these fifteen tips are things that just about every woman wishes you would do for her in bed. Remember to read all the way to the end, though, or you might end up making a fair few mistakes along the way!
Get ready to become the 21st century’s answer to Casanova once you finally know what you are doing. If you are already in a relationship, this might be the perfect opportunity to blow your partner’s mind. While it will certainly be very disheartening to find out she has been faking this whole time, at least you will have the consolation of finding out what she really sounds like when you’re getting it right. If she asks you where you learned how to do all of these new things, be sure to ward off suspicion: let her know that you have had an epiphany and realize now that you need to look after her needs just as much as your own. She’ll lap it up!
15. Dressing Up
It’s a bit of a cliché, but it seems that most women really love the chance to dress up. This could be something as simple as a new set of luxurious matching lingerie, or all the way to full role-play. The main problem with this is that most men are quite happy to rip the whole outfit off without pause, instead of appreciating it or playing the role the costume suggests. If your woman likes to dress up, buy her something special and let her give you a fashion parade. Then you can take it off – when she’s ready, not you.
14. Undressing Her
When it comes time to get down to business, make sure you are the one doing the disrobing on her behalf. Women love it when their man takes the time to undress them – and slowly. Don’t rush through everything and fumble with buttons or hooks. It’s far sexier to linger over each item of clothing, and it will build up the anticipation fast. Show her that you appreciate her body by unwrapping it like it’s a present. You can pause in-between each piece of clothing and go in for a kiss or run your hands across the areas you have uncovered to string the process out even further.
13. Spending More Time on Foreplay
Most men are satisfied when “foreplay” means “walking from the kitchen into the bedroom”. For women, however, a lot of arousal comes from the brain. That means you have to work a bit harder at creating it – and not just with the physical stuff. Foreplay can begin with talking and kissing, then slowly build up to a more touchy-feely place. A lot of women aren’t going to appreciate it if you go right in there and expect them to be ready immediately with no prior warning. Foreplay might not be necessary for you, but it’s a real treat for her.
12. Building Up Kisses
While we’re at it, it’s the same kind of thing with kisses. You can start with small pecks and nips and then build your way up to bigger, more passionate kisses. There’s a lot of fun to be had in lingering over this stage; it doesn’t have to be just an extra to the main event. Remember when you were a teenager and would spend hours necking in the park? Remember how exciting it was? Don’t forget the little things just because you’ve made it to the major leagues. When done right, a make-out session can be very hot and steamy, and that will only make the rest of the night all the more exciting.
11. Being Urgent
Slowing things down can work wonders, but so can speeding them up. Most couples, especially those in long-term relationships, tend to settle down into a routine that no longer has that first exciting spark. One of the things you’ve probably forgotten is what it’s like to urgently need each other. Bring that back and let her know that you can’t wait even a second to get her clothes off. The heat and passion this brings to your relationship will be much appreciated. It’s also a big turn-on for a lot of women, who say that it makes them feel more desirable.
10. Adding Variety and Change
You may have noticed a bit of a contradiction in the entries above. How can you undress her slowly, but also tear her clothes off with urgency and passion? Well, the answer is that doing the same thing all the time gets boring, even if it is a very enjoyable thing. You need to vary things up a bit! Don’t become a predictable lover. While there are classic favourites that can be returned to time and time again, there should also be a bit of variety and change every now and then to keep things interesting. It’s also a real thrill to try something new or special.
9. Focusing on Her
One of the worst things you can do in bed is to focus on your own needs and ignore hers. Simply put, it’s going to end up in a situation where only one person is satisfied. If you take the time to focus on her, really making sure that she is enjoying what you are doing, you will reap the rewards too. Happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships are built on this foundation (and so is the start of something new, if you’ve only just met). Of course it’s important that you have fun too, but don’t make it one-sided.
8. Talking to Her
Men can have a tendency to be pretty quiet in bed. But while it can make you cringe at first, talking to her can really help to turn up the heat. Whether you are talking dirty or just telling her how much you appreciate her body, saying what’s on your mind is an aphrodisiac to a lot of women. The flip side to this is also that you have to listen: if she doesn’t respond well, maybe try a different tack. Everyone likes something different, so with this you just have to learn where the boundaries are for your particular partner.
7. Letting Her Be In Control
You may enjoy calling the shots – but maybe it’s time to let her take control. Women can really enjoy directing the situation, making you do what they want and when. You may be surprised to find a change in your long-term girlfriend or even wife if you try this for the first time! For a lot of women, this can be a secret desire which remains hidden. Let her take the reins now and then. She knows what feels good to her and what she wants you to do, and there’s nothing wrong with letting her tell you – and acting on it.
6. Dominating Her
This one can be a tricky issue, especially when it comes to where you draw the line. It’s also true that women can enjoy both being in control and being dominated – that’s why it’s a good idea to change things up once in a while! Everyone has different limits, so make sure you have a safe word or an agreement beforehand. Tie her down, hold her arms to the bed, play rough – the vast majority of women enjoy this kind of play. Just be careful not to take it too far, particularly if your partner has suffered abuse in the past and may become frightened. Pay close attention to be sure she is still enjoying herself!
5. Letting Her Finish First
The ultimate act of gentlemanly manner, letting your lady finish first, is more than just a courtesy; it’s a real sign that you’re a keeper! This requires a lot of self-control, as well as dedication to making sure she feels good. It might be something that doesn’t always come easy, but so long as you make the effort every now and then, she will appreciate. Many women find that their partner will simply reach their own finish line, then decide the fun is over and it’s time to go to sleep/clean up/watch football. That’s why this next tip is particularly important…
4. Making sure she finishes
Can you believe that not every man does this? Actually, you probably can, especially if you are one of the guilty ones. So you’ve had your fun, and now party time is over – for you. What about the woman who is left unsatisfied and wanting more? Just because you’re done, doesn’t mean you haven’t finished dealing with your responsibilities. Your woman will feel more appreciated and loved if you take the time to carry her over that finish line, and – you guessed it – that will probably result in a better time for you as well. There’s nothing worse than being left with an itch that hasn’t been scratched.
3. Making Noise
Men can be fairly silent in bed, while women are expected to scream the house down. You love it when you make a woman moan and groan, right? You feel like you’re hitting the right spot, and it eggs you on further. It can even take you over the edge to hear her scream your name. So what makes you think she wants you to be silent? Give at least an appreciate moan now and then, if you’re not willing to really let go. Let her know she’s doing a good job. The bonus is she will remember what made you moan and do it again next time.
2. Paying Close Attention
It’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment, and for a lot of men, once the foreplay is over, they are dedicated to their own needs. That’s why it’s also easy to not notice when things changed – for example, when your partner’s groans of pleasure turn to groans of pain or frustration. Those moments can really ruin the experience for her, especially if you don’t notice and carry on making it worse. Learn what she likes and doesn’t like by paying attention to the noises she makes, the sound of her breathing, and even the way her body moves in reaction.
1. Distinguishing Between the Bedroom and the Real World
A lot of women admit that they would like to live out dirty fantasies in the bedroom, but don’t do it because they are afraid of how their partner will react. Simply put, you need to know that what goes on in bed is not the same as the real world. Letting her dominate you does not mean you are suddenly a submissive weakling outside of the bedroom. If she wants you to treat her rough, that doesn’t give you a license to do so once your clothes are back on. She might even want you to call her a slut or worse – but if you do that outside, you would be right to expect a slap! Keep these two worlds separate and you’ll find much better results.