When thinking about taking a woman on a date, you probably spend a lot of time planning some great outing that involves dinner, a movie, the fair or maybe even a concert. You want to take her somewhere that you both will have fun, but that will also allow you the chance to really get to know each other. However, there comes a point in every developing relationship where you have to allow her the chance to enter your personal domain. Yes, it’s a scary step. It usually means the relationship is progressing into more serious territory and it’s one of the many things that has the potential to decide whether or not the relationship is going to continue much further. It doesn’t matter if she’s stopping by for a few moments, if you finally decided to have a quiet night full of movies and cuddling, or if it’s your very first time spending a night together — this moment can make or break you.
Yet it seems as if a lot of men have problems figuring out what exactly it is that turns women off when it comes to their homes. If you have ever brought someone home and found yourself struggling to understand why she never came back, or if you are currently considering bringing your girlfriend over for the first time and need to know how to prepare, then now is the time to grab a pen and paper and take some notes.
It’s important for a woman to feel comfortable in your territory if you don’t want to watch her turn around and make a run for it the second she steps foot in the door. The inside of your residence is a direct reflection of who you are in a woman’s eyes. So unless you want to send out the wrong message, your home should be free of these 15 things that are almost guaranteed to turn women off.
For a comprehensive infographic on cohabiting couples and their preferences, check out this article by moshells.com.
15. A Tiny Bed And Cheap Furniture
Do you know what a tiny bed says to a woman? Its says that there is no room for us. It tells us that we are not welcome. That’s not a good thing! The first thing we think when we see that you have a single bed is “I guess I won’t be spending the night here.”
We are not about to try and cram into that 3 x 6 foot area with another human being, no matter how small we may be. This is especially important if you have any delusions about us spending the night. We would much rather curl up in our own beds by ourselves than cram uncomfortably into one that was made for a child.
As far as the rest of your furniture goes, please don’t feel like you need to go buy a $5000 couch or anything like that. However, replacing the patio chairs that are currently occupying your living room is definitely recommended. You can spend less without appearing tacky and cheap.
14. Mouse Traps And Pests
It should be obvious that you need to make sure there are not any sort of creepy crawly creatures lurking around your home. Taking the steps required to clear them out is a great idea; but while we appreciate the attempt to rid your home of the pests, it’s not a good sign when there’s a trap in every room. That tells us that when we’re at your house or apartment, we’ll have to be on the lookout for mice running around. We also start thinking about everything that a mouse gets into — food, cabinets, closets. Nothing is safe and suddenly we don’t feel comfortable putting anything down due to the fear of our shoes becoming their next residence or our purses their next bathroom.
If you have to put mouse traps out, it’s important to make sure they’re at least pushed out of the way (and preferably out of sight) so we don’t accidentally step on one. And for the love of all that is good, if a mouse trap has done its job, please get rid of it before you bring us over. No one wants to walk into a room only to be faced with the image of a squashed rodent. It’s disturbing and seriously takes away from the comfort factor.
13. Piles Of Dirty Laundry
Just about everyone in the world can understand the lack of a desire to do laundry. It is not a fun chore and it just so happens to be one that never ends. As much as we hate laundry just like you do, if every piece of clothing you own is not only dirty, but pouring out of the laundry basket and/or piled on top of your furniture, then there’s a problem.
Not only is it a disturbing sight (how long has it been this way and when was the last time you had anything clean to wear?), but it also shows us that you don’t take care of your personal items and you actively avoid doing household chores. This isn’t a good indication for someone who looking for a partner to settle down with in the near or even distant future.
Regardless of whether or not that is something you’re actively looking for, at least try and do a load or two before inviting a woman over. You don’t have to do all of it, just make sure that the laundry basket is the only thing holding your dirty clothes. Not your floor, not your desk, and definitely not your bed.
12. Dirty Sheets
Along the same lines, if you plan on having a woman over to spend the night then it is crucial that your sheets are clean before we get there. If we go to crawl into bed with you and we see a strange stain or we get a whiff of something that makes our eyes burn, it’s the best way to make sure we don’t come back. A lot of us might even insist that we couldn’t stay the night after all.
We have absolutely no desire to spend 8 or more hours laying on anything that hasn’t been washed since you moved out of your parent’s house. It’s disgusting to think about what has taken place on the bed since the last time they saw a washing machine, and thoughts such as these have the potential of completely turning us off to you.
So change the sheets or wash them; whichever you want to do, just make sure that we’re not having to contort ourselves to avoid the questionable stains and hold our noses while we pray for morning to come. If you’re looking for some bonus points, it would be wise to consider making your bed as well. Appearance is key.
11. Hair In The Sink
Both women and men are guilty of leaving hair behind in the worst possible places. For women, it’s usually on the shower wall. For men, it’s in the bathroom sink and on the counter.
If you needed to brush your teeth only to find that everything is covered in tiny little hairs from someone else’s face, would you be uncomfortable? It makes us uncomfortable. Not having a single place to set something down without it becoming covered in hair is a very disgusting thing and it reflects highly on your cleanliness.
Seriously, how long does it take to wipe the sink clean? It displays laziness and you’re not likely to keep us around long. If you can’t take the time to clean up after yourself then maybe you need to consider looking for a maid rather than a girlfriend.
10. No Decoration/Individualization
A woman may not necessarily like your particular decorating style, but she will always appreciate that you actually put time forth to personalize your home. Whereas if your walls are barren enough to make us feel like we’re staying in a hospital when we’re over at your place, it’s a bit uncomfortable. It tells us absolutely nothing about you or what you like and your doesn’t feel like a home. If anything, it feels like a temporary squatting place — and that’s definitely not the vibe you want to give out.
Throw some pictures up, hang that framed gaming poster, display old trophies or degrees you earned, paint your walls, and put up some curtains. Bring some life to your home! However, remember that when bringing a woman home, it’s best to take those posters of half-naked women down. And if you’re one of those guys who has nothing but black lights or colorful bulbs to illuminate your space, you may want to consider investing in a lamp or two with some normal bulbs. Trust us when we say that the green “mood-lighting” is only going to annoy us. That’s probably not the mood you want to aim for.
9. Freeloader Roommates
It should come as no surprise that a woman admires a man who is a hard worker. What we don’t admire is a man who is a pushover and who is supporting his buddies who do nothing but drink, sleep, eat and make a mess.
This isn’t even something to cover up for when you bring your girlfriends over, it’s something that you should actively stay on top of for your own benefit. If you have roommates who contribute nothing, it reflects poorly on you and it can be a huge turn-off for women. Especially those who are self-sufficient.
We can understand putting someone up when they’re between jobs or otherwise struggling, but don’t let people take advantage of you. The only women who like that are the ones who will want to take advantage of you as well. If your roommates cannot find a job, then they should be helping around the house. If not, then they need to go. You are not their parent. You don’t need to support them as if they’re your kin. And if you choose to do that, don’t expect the relationship to get serious because we’re likely not looking to take on the responsibility of supporting a grown child.
8. Trash Scattered Everywhere
We don’t expect your home to be completely sterilized and spotless, but we do expect you to take some pride in it. If the side of your bed has a pile of empty bottles, crumb-filled food wrappers, and used napkins then we’re probably not going to come back. Your trash cans shouldn’t be overflowing to the point where if we pile anything else in there, it’s going to roll to the ground. There shouldn’t be empty pizza boxes and Chinese takeout containers spread across the counter. Take your trash out. Pick up and discard the mess that’s been sitting there for weeks. Otherwise we’re going to walk in the door and feel like we’ve stepped foot into the local dump.
This is not the kind of impression that you want your place to give off. Remember: Your home is a reflection of you. So unless you want your girl to think of you every time she passes by a trash can, then you really need to make sure you contain the trash problem. Also, when you take the trash out, don’t forget to replace it with a new bag.
7. Cluttered Floor/No Organization
Once again, women do not expect your home to be spotless. However, it should go without saying that being able to walk comfortably through your home is necessary. Don’t make us play hopscotch in order to get to the living room and we shouldn’t need a GPS or a designated path to make it to the bathroom. Pick up your floor and when doing so, put things in a designated place that makes sense. Books go on a book shelf, clothes go in the closet. Throwing your clutter on whatever happens to be the nearest piece of furniture is not a fix to this problem. All that does is give your home a claustrophobic vibe.
The only exception to this suggestion would be to those men who happen to be a single dad. Even then, at least try to straighten up the house or apartment so we aren’t stepping on Lego pieces every five seconds. The bottom line is that we should be able to see your floor, have a place to set our stuff down, and not have to question our own safety when trying to navigate from room to room.
6. Sink Full Of Dishes
Along the lines of laundry, we understand that doing dishes is a rather annoying chore. You clean dishes only to turn around and have them end up dirty all over again. We’re not going to hold it against you if you have some cups and plates in your sink. What we have an issue with is when every single dish item you have is filthy and the pile of dirty dishes fills both the sink as well as all your counter space.
If we need a drink of water, we don’t want to have to pull a used glass out of the sink and wash it ourselves. And while you may be okay with using your fingers to eat your food because there are no clean utensils, we’re probably not.
This seems to be one of those issues that is the most common thing we see upon spending time at a boyfriend’s house. It’s even fairly common when we’re at a potential boyfriend’s house. If this was a sight we encountered the first time we went to your house, then you need to stop questioning why we haven’t come back yet. This is the answer.
Don’t think for a second that while you were in the bathroom we didn’t take a moment to analyze that mess. We saw the hardened food that has likely been sitting on that plate for a month. It’s disgusting. Just remember that those kind of messes are the ones that attract bugs and rodents; and you may not be able to smell the rotten milk from last week’s bowl of cereal, we sure can.
5. No Food Or Drinks
When you’re entertaining a house guest, a general rule of thumb is to make sure you’re able to offer something to drink in the event your guest gets thirsty. While we won’t complain if all you have to offer is tap water, you’re much more likely to make a girl feel comfortable if she isn’t limited to that. Find out what her favorite soda is, invest in some Gatorade, get some juice. Stocking on booze is fine, but keep in mind that we shouldn’t have to settle for some tap water in the event that we don’t feel like drinking.
On the same note, if your cabinets and your fridge are empty then you should do a little bit of grocery shopping before we come over. Contrary to popular belief, women do eat. So having some snacks on hand is a good idea. If you really want to impress us then consider buying ingredients that can be put together to make a nice meal. Even if we’re not on a dinner date, just seeing real food that needs to be cooked will earn you some serious bonus points. While we have no problem with ordering pizza and eating out, it does become a huge turn-off if your kitchen tells us that you cannot (or will not) feed yourself.
4. Filthy Bathroom
We already talked about how your beard hairs piled up in the sink is a turn-off, but more than that it is important to keep your bathroom as clean as possible. You don’t need to scrub your showers and floors with bleach until they sparkle, but a good sweeping and mopping makes all the difference. Cleaning your toilet is also a must as well. Skid marks in the bowl, dried urine due to splash back, and a collection of hair or other questionable substances behind the seat is one of the most disgusting things that we can witness.
If using your bathroom feels a lot like using a public restroom, then we’re going to seriously question your personal hygiene. Allowing your bathroom to get to this state shows a lack of care for your own surroundings, and expecting others to be okay with it is extremely inconsiderate. Huge turn-off. Keep your space clean.
3. A Lack of Necessary Bathroom Items (Toilet Paper, Hand Soap, Towels, etc.)
It’s important to remember that although you guys don’t use toilet paper every time you use the bathroom, women do. So if we go into the bathroom only to be faced with an empty roll and absolutely no more rolls in sight, it’s frustrating. We also would like the chance to actually wash our hands with soap and dry them on a hand towel that doesn’t look like it’s been used every night for the past week after a shower.
Make sure that your bathroom is stocked with things that a woman needs to have available, otherwise we’re not going to want to come back. However, keep in mind that having feminine products stocked in your bathroom may seem like a nice gesture, but it’s not as nice as it sounds in your head. If you make it a point to let us know you have feminine products (or if we stumble across them), all we’re going to think is that you are entertaining female guests on a regular basis. Or we’re going to think you have a girlfriend that you’ve been hiding from us. Either way, it doesn’t look good for you. Don’t worry about that stuff, we’re usually well-prepared. You just worry about making sure that basic, hygienic necessities are supplied.
2. A Noticeable Stench
It’s extremely common to spend so much time around a smell that you actually become used to it and can’t detect it. That doesn’t mean that the rest of the world can’t smell it, though. Whether it’s the smell of sweat or the rotting food that’s in your sink, that’s something that no woman wants to walk into the first time they come over to your house.
It’s always a safe bet to spray some air freshener or light some candles in an attempt to remove any sign of the “guy funk.” Combine this with some house cleaning and you should be good to go.
The most important thing to remember about this is that you need to aim to get rid of the smell rather than just covering it up. So if you’re one of those guys who takes his cologne and sprays it all over the place, all that you’re accomplishing is making an awful combination of smells that’s likely going to act as a woman repellent.
1. Pictures Of Exes And Signs Of Other Women
Do you have a picture of you and your ex set up on your desk? Did one of your past flings leave behind any intimates? Are there tampons or a woman’s razor in your bathroom? Toss them. Burn them. Get rid of them. If this person that you are bringing into your home is someone that you have any intention of keeping around, then this is the most vital thing you can do before she steps through that door.
Holding onto things that obviously represent an ex makes it seem like you’re not ready to move on, on hoarding other girl’s personal items gives you the image of a sleaze ball. Both of these are major factors that will turn a girl off to the idea of a serious relationship faster than you can imagine.
We don’t care that your ex made you a CD that had some great songs on it. Put them on a new CD and toss the one where she declared her love for you in permanent marker all over it. If you’re still friends with her, that’s fine. But a picture of you two all cozy together on the couch that we were just sitting on shows a level of attachment that you don’t have with your guy friends. And there is absolutely no good excuse for you to keep the frilly pink panties that some random chick happened to leave behind one night. Lose all of it or lose your girl. It’s that simple.