It’s long-held wisdom that men and women are from different planets. Women are often wondering why men don’t pick up on their subtle signals, and men can spend hours thinking in depth just what the hell it is that women want. There have been scientific studies, psychological reports and social experiments that aim to shed some light on the battle of the sexes; yet nobody is really any the clearer on what either side is thinking.
Everybody enjoys the satisfaction of being found attractive by a member of the opposite sex. It’s in our genetic makeup to flirt, to impress and, fundamentally, to procreate. While the battle to find a partner is often pretty straightforward for women, most men need a bit more help in the romance department. There are no simple answers to explain why you haven’t got hundreds of women chasing you down the street; but collective female wisdom can at least suggest the what-not-to-do, in order to avoid physically repelling females.
It’s likely that all men have, at some time, been guilty of the following sexual no-nos – after all, the dating game has a steep learning curve. If you really want to start winning some hearts and finding true love or even a fun fling, the following fifteen are actions that the male readers should vow never to do again.
15. Behaving Like A Sloppy Drunk
Some of the best nights you’ll have together will come after enjoying a drink together; but there’s a huge difference between being tipsy and being drunk – learn your limits and practice them.
A woman likes to have a man who’s in charge and aware of everything that is happening around then; at the end of the evening she doesn’t want to be the one hailing down the cab and removing your shoes for you.
This one is really just common sense; how would you feel if your girl got so drunk she became obnoxious, loud or fall-over wasted? You would be horrified, so don’t let it become your behaviour instead. There may be nothing more enjoyable than returning home together after a few drinks and heading straight to the bedroom; so make sure you’re still thinking clearly or you might ruin your chances.
14. Being Rude To Service Staff
There is nothing worse than being on a hot date and everything appears perfect; right up until the point where the guy starts barking orders at the waiting staff. Possibly one of the biggest passion killers out there.
Losing your cool over something trivial, such as the starters running a bit late or the wrong bill, really is not a good look. It not only signals you have issues with control but also you weren’t that mesmerised by your date to forget all the other little hiccups happening around you. So keep your cool, engage with the lady and tip the staff well.
13. Having Poor Hygiene
When you first start dating, women will be searching for little clues to find out who you really are deep down. The last thing they want is to discover that you aren’t wearing deodorant, your nails haven’t been clipped in weeks and that you haven’t bothered with floss in a while.This immediately makes women dread the thought of going anywhere near your bedroom.
Almost all women pay close attention to detail, so what you think might be overlooked probably won’t be. You don’t have to be God-like every time you leave the house but at the very least you should take a shower, change into a clean pair of boxer shorts and carry mints.
12. Being Financially Dependent
If you still live with your parents, share a car, have a part-time job but no sights set on a career, you won’t be the guy every woman is throwing herself at. A huge turn-on for women is seeing a man who is completely independent; who earns his own money and can take care of the big things in life. Primitively speaking, even the most independent women are looking for signs that you’re a provider.
Most women are programmed to set up a long-lasting future with their potential partner, and if you’re lacking the drive to let go of your youth then this could spell problems for settling down into a serious relationship. Write a list of everything you want to achieve over the next five years, then go out there and grab it.
11. Changing Personality Around Friends
Social intelligence is a big turn on for any woman. Notice when you walk into a bar, it’s often the man who’s telling the best jokes and ordering the shots that has quite the party surrounding him – instead of the poser who just wants to pout and look good.
Be aware, women are astute and they will notice the slight changes in your mannerisms when you’re not being sincere.
You don’t want to be overtly soppy in front of your friends, that’s understandable; but completely changing in a Jekyll and Hyde manner is not acceptable either. If you use your lady as a pretty prop who isn’t given the opportunity to speak, or if you berate her in a joke with friends, you can guarantee that the most action you’ll be getting that night is a cold shoulder.
10. Name Dropping At Inappropriate Moments
Name dropping is not appropriate and it can actually signal that you suffer from low self-esteem, or that you may have a boisterous personality which can’t survive without being propped up by bragging opportunities.
Being in the company of a limelight hugger is not a turn-on, so try not to rehash your amazing story about all the celebrities you met at a wild party, or all those high-fliers you hobnob with at the office. Often the funniest stories are those that can also be quite embarrassing, so let your guard down and show the real you. Everyone will feel at ease knowing you’re only human just like the rest of us.
9. Having No Wild, Primitive Side
Women want a man who has a masculine side and is not afraid to put it all on display. We’re talking chopping wood with a shirt off, lighting a fire, lifting heavy boxes, D.I.Y around the home and fighting bears with your hands – okay, maybe not that far, but you get the point.
A huge turn on for your girl will be when you signal that you are willing to protect her. She needs to know that when she’s on your arm, the pair of you are invincible. Even if you have a traumatising fear of spiders, just swallow your anxiety and kill it for your girl.
8. Communication With An Ex
Holding on to deep resentment or affection for an ex will give the new lady in your life some serious warning bells and keeping up constant communication will increase tension in your new relationship. The best thing to do is just explain to your ex-partner that you have moved on and no longer want to bring the past into your future.
One of the most important things a woman looks for in a relationship is stability, and if there isn’t a secure base to return to each day then she will begin to feel anxious. Be open, honest and genuine with your new partner about previous relationships and make sure she feels as if she’s number one in your world.
Sleep is so crucial for adults; with working hours becoming more demanding than ever it really is impossible to share a bed with a partner who snores as loudly as a bull. If you don’t get your recommended eight hours of sleep a night you can wake quite irritated and grumpy; this may lead to arguments that will push you both apart as a couple.
There is a lot of help available from your local chemist to help you sleep silently. Also avoiding lying on your back or consuming alcohol before bedtime helps, too. Speak to your partner about the frustrations you have encountered sharing a bed together and begin to think of new ways you can solve the problem.
6. Expecting Sex Spontaneously
There is a huge difference between being sexually forward and just being horny. Women are built differently to men and they need a bit more persuasion to crawl between the sheets rather than just “fancy it?”. Pick your moments and make sure there is nothing else playing on her mind; find a time when you are both alone together and relaxed.
Confidence is a huge turn on for women, but being overly boisterous is not. No means no and there is nothing sexier than respect. Talking is always the best way to go about getting what you want, so begin to have a conversation about why you are so turned on, hand out the compliments, and watch her relax and get into the mood..
5. Being A Scrooge On Date Night
Remember going to a restaurant, grabbing cocktails at a bar or heading to a show are all treats. The last thing your girl wants to see is you picking up the menu and almost choking to death at the table before swiftly ordering a glass of tap water. Don’t attend the date if you want to spend the evening complaining about prices.
If you are on a budget then you will have to get creative, why not try a picnic in the local park? It can be seen as a really romantic move and nobody will be any the wiser all the sandwiches and cakes cost less than $10 from the supermarket – often it really is the thought that counts. A huge turn-off for any woman is watching her man slip further and further into the red, or amassing a huge bank balance while being reluctant to spend a cent.
4. Not Putting Your Foot Down Enough
Men and women both have the right to set their own boundaries and expectations in a relationship. Do you often find yourself waiting an hour in a bar for your date to turn up? Are you expected to drop everything immediately when your date calls you? Have you been asked for expensive gifts which are outside of your budget? Don’t be shy when it comes to putting your foot down.
Nobody finds a walkover attractive. Of course you don’t have to cause an argument, but simply make it very clear what you will accept and what you won’t. You’ll come across as incredibly masculine and it will also help avoid arguments further down the line when it’s very clear what your expectations and standards are.
3. Never Getting Out Of Town
Getting abroad can really open you both up to adventure; you’ll feel more alive, better rested, and exploring new places will add an extra spark to your romance. There are so many stunning cities that you could visit even close to home, and hotels offer a luxurious chance for some extra intimate time together.
Staying in the same town, month after month, can mean you’re falling into a routine which is comfortable but not creative. Always make sure you put the occasional weekend aside to enjoy mind-opening trips away; you can guarantee there will be a big grin on your face when you return.
2. Always Putting Work First
Work is important to everyone, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere or you may find yourself trapped in a world of constant overtime. It’s a good trait to be driven towards success, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to impress the boss; but having a lifestyle with a healthy work and play balance is much more attractive.
Men who are overworked can often become too exhausted or stressed for the bedroom; returning home late from work doesn’t help either. Also, knowing when to switch off from work mode helps your partner to feel like they have your undivided attention: Don’t be a slave to your email updates.
1. Having Body Issues Or Insecurities
Men and women are both as bad as each other when it comes to worrying over their body image; everyone has a part of them they are not completely 100% confident with – teeth, unwanted body hair, oversized thighs or a muffin top. It can turn into an endless list of worries.
If you spend time detailing the parts of your body you don’t like, this might encourage your partner to start thinking about their own hangups, damaging both of your confidence levels. So kick back, relax and learn to enjoy your own body so that your girl can, too.