Cell phones are pretty nifty, right? You can do so much with them – text, take pictures, work from your phone, play app games. Speaking of apps, you can find one for pretty much anything, from hooking up to scheduling every minute of your life. This is preaching to the choir, though – who, in this day and age, doesn’t use and love their smartphone?
Of course, smartphones do have their downside as well, particularly in the realm of relationships. Something about your significant other having all this universal access can make you a bit paranoid, right? Like when she’s texting next to you in bed, who is she talking to? Is it an ex? Or just her girlfriends or family?
Most of the time this paranoia is misplaced. It’s not usually a problem where she’s cheating or being shady. Other times, your worst fears are reality. When you see any of these 15 things on your girl’s phone, it’s time to talk – or maybe even break up.
15. Mislabeled Contacts
Maybe your contacts aren’t all labeled with exactly their name. Whether you put your mother as “Helen” or “Ma” though, you still know exactly who that is in your phone and there’s nothing sneaky about it. When you click on your text message thread with your mother, you’ll see texts about how to turn her auto correct on and why her smartphone locks itself when she leaves it alone for too long. Nothing suspect there, right?
Well, if you find out that when your GF is texting her “Mom,” she’s actually keeping up a flirty text correspondence with her buff co-worker, it’s time to maybe end things. There’s nothing shadier than mislabeling phone contacts in order to try to dodge a significant other finding out they’re being promiscuous.
14. Naked Pics…that You Haven’t Seen
There’s nothing wrong with having nudes on your phone – it might not be smart since hackers all over the world can easily get them, but you aren’t a celebrity. Who’s going to try and hack your cloud to get to your raunchy pictures?
The same goes for your girlfriend. If she’s got some nudes on her phone, that’s great. You’ve likely already been sent them, and that’s even better. It is a problem though, when you find nude selfies on her phone that are new – and you haven’t seen them before. She might just be appreciating her body or she just hasn’t texted them to you yet, but be a little bit suspicious. You may not have received them because they aren’t for you.
13. Inconsistent Info
Your girlfriend tells you that she’s going out all day Saturday to visit her grandparents in a far off city. Nothing wrong with that, right? It’s good to have a girl who’s family oriented if you’re looking for a long-term serious relationship.
Then you happen to find out by looking in her phone that she told her best friend she’d be spending the weekend going somewhere else and with some other people. There’s a chance that she’s lying to her friend for some reason, but it’s okay if you’re a little suspicious now – are you the one she’s telling suspect fibs to?
12. Illegal Information
Now, if you’re into illegal things, the advice is simple – it’s not a wise idea, but you do you. If you aren’t, however, living a life of crime and midnight business dealings, then there should probably be an agreement about this with you and your significant other. At the very least, if she’s living on the other side of the law you should know about it.
If you go through your girlfriend’s phone and find pictures of contraband or other talk of illicit and illegal activity, it might be time to call it quits before you get arrested for being an accomplice to a crime you didn’t even know about.
11. Texts from Old BFs
If you’re still texting an ex of yours, you better have a damn good reason. Yeah, it’s hard to let go of some exes, especially if you were friends first, but it’s just not a good idea to keep that kind of relationship going. It’s risky – and what would you think about your girlfriend texting one of her exes?
What if you find out she IS doing just that? There are logical explanations of course. Maybe they are old friends who tried dating, or they wanted to stay friends even after the breakup…but if you find texts that seem a little more than friendly from old flames and she’s responding, it’s time to talk.
10. Flirty Texts with Other Women
The above issue isn’t limited to men, either. Some women are into both teams, and hey, if your girl is? Totally cool. But don’t get too comfortable. Her female exes might be female just like her other friends, but don’t forget the “ex” part of that relationship title.
No matter what gender an ex is, they’re still an ex, and exes may want to get back together some day. If your girlfriend is sending mixed signals to her female ex, it may signal she’s unsure about the breakup herself. Confront her and tell her that she should figure out what she wants if she wants to make a commitment to you.
9. Recent Dating Site History
Monogamy means two people in a committed relationship. You and them. No one else, no questioning, just one and one equals two. Maybe the relationship won’t last, but while it is lasting? It’s just the two of you, end of story.
If you ever find dating site history that’s recent on your girl’s phone it means one of two things. One, she’s not feeling your current relationship and is looking for someone to get with as a safety net once she breaks up with you. Two, she’s trying to two-time you. Either way, it’s a surefire sign that things should end and they should end ASAP.
8. Negative Texts about You
It’s okay to have bad feelings about your significant other from time to time. Whether your girlfriend is a nag or she said something that seriously pissed you off, venting to friends is how you start to get over fights and get support or perspective. In short, speaking negatively about a mate isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it’s about getting out frustration and nothing malicious.
Sometimes, however, meanness is just for spite. If you catch your girl talking smack about you to one of her friends in a way that isn’t obviously airing out frustration, you shouldn’t have to put up with a mean girl. Confront her and send her packing. After all, even when venting, you should never say something about a friend or partner you wouldn’t say to their face.
7. Locked Files She Can’t Explain
Everyone deserves privacy, but everyone in a relationship also deserves some transparency from their partner. Say you pick up her phone because it’s close and you want to order a pizza. You unlock the screen and there’s a file you’ve never seen before. You tap it and you’re asked to unlock the file via a password.
It might just be some confidential bank data she wants to keep safe, but it may be something more sinister. Ask her about it – if it really is something she can tell you about, she should be able to talk about it and prove it. Otherwise she may be trying to hide something from you that isn’t all that pretty.
6. Inappropriate Facebook Convos
Inappropriate messages don’t just get sent via text. Your suspicious significant other has many other means of sending sexy convos to someone else – and Facebook is the number one place for finding someone to have fun with on the side.
You’re probably thinking “really? It’s not a dating or hookup app?” Nope. The reason is that these kinds of apps are obvious, meanwhile everyone has Facebook. It’s easy to hide illicit activity when you’re telling your boyfriend you’re just going through your FB feed when you’re really trying to reconnect with an old high school flame.
5. Private Information About You Made Public
A lot of couples have a pretty simple rule about sex: what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If you like to share these intimate details or participate in voyeurism, that’s certainly alright – but for most, their private times and parts are exactly that. Private.
If and when you ever find anything private of yours online via your girlfriend, breaking up is probably a good idea. It doesn’t even have to be something sexual, honestly – if it’s something that she doesn’t have the right to post and yet she’s posting it anyway? You have the right to dump her on the spot. There should be a pretty straight-forward rule about gossip in your relationship, and she’s breaking it.
4. Plans to Dump You Eventually
Not every relationship works, and that’s okay. The problem is when you know a relationship isn’t working and you don’t put an end to it. If you find information in her phone about how you aren’t working out and she wants to dump you, it’s probably impossible to work things out.
The context of this information can vary drastically, and that’s important. If she’s just asking for relationship advice and considering options with a friend of hers, think about your decision. If you find that she’s already solidified the plans, however, don’t give her the satisfaction – you should be the one dumping her, instead.
3. Opinions or Views You Don’t Agree With
As much as everyone says it’s possible to agree to disagree, sometimes that’s oversimplifying the problem. For instance, important issues such as minority rights and liberties can’t just be slapped with a simple phrase like that where someone can just shrug their shoulders at someone else’s opinion and call it a night.
No matter what side of an issue you stand on, you and your significant other should find a lot of common ground in your opinions and views on topics you care about, especially if she happens to be pretty extreme about them. If you find pictures of white hoods or links to the Westboro Baptist Church on her phone, I think it’s safe to say you can dump her guilt-free.
2. Stalker Data
It’s pretty much always nice to have a girl interested in you, but sometimes things can get a little out of hand. If you’ve ever had a stalker, you probably know what this feels like – while it’s great that a woman is into you, it’s not great that she’s following and harassing you at every turn, especially if you’ve already spurned her advances.
Sometimes girlfriends get a little too comfortable with their intimate boundaries and try to over step them at times. Just because a girl has a right to know where you are during the day, she doesn’t have a right to follow you, spy on you, track your whereabouts or take pictures and information from you without your knowledge. If you find stuff like this on her phone, there’s rarely a good explanation. Just dump her and move on.
1. Nude Pics of Guys (that aren’t You)
Your girlfriend might receive nudes from guys, and that’s okay. She can’t control what other men send her, especially on social media. Women get unsolicited pictures of male genitals all the time and it’s not cool – they didn’t ask for that, so you probably shouldn’t be giving it to them unsolicited, if that’s your thing.
What is their fault is when they receive these pictures and then don’t delete them. Even if they’re sent from an ex, once they’re over those pics should go straight into her virtual dumpster. This isn’t the same thing as adult entertainment either, if that’s her excuse. P*** is impersonal, whereas she probably could connect with the guy sending her nudes. If she wants to keep them so badly, maybe she should date that guy instead – she certainly isn’t going to be dating you anymore.