Everything seems to be going smoothly with your girlfriend until you sense something is off. You don’t want to overthink it or else you end up sabotaging your relationship. Plus, as a man, you never overthink. However, a pattern begins to evolve and you can’t help but pay attention to all the signs going around. In particular, you start feeling like you’re being taken advantage of, especially financially and with your time.
There seems to be a lack of emotional investment from your partner and the relationship all becomes more trivial. The only thing on your mind at that moment is if it’s really worth it to continue dating your girlfriend.
Nobody likes to be taken advantage of. Both women and men experience this but differently. Men usually take advantage of women emotionally while women take advantage of men in an opportunistic way. With that being said, there are signs you need to look out for to tell if she’s using you, whether it’s for your money, company or your cool lifestyle. As said before, one of the main factors to distinguish this is if there’s a lack of emotional investment such as she doesn’t give you affection, or tells you sweet things that sound genuine. The day goes something like as soon as the two of you come home from your fun day out, she keeps herself at a distance until you offer her something else.
Below, is a list of 15 signs that show she is using you in some way and can help determine if the relationship is still worth pursuing.
15. Not Introducing You To Close Friends and Family
Just like with guys, if she doesn’t bother to introduce you to her close friends or family, she’s probably just with you for the moment. She’s enjoying the time she gets to spend with you but nothing more. If you want something more serious and stable, have a conversation about it with her. If she brushes it off, there’s a few things that can be considered but one of the main ones is she’s probably using you as a boyfriend just for the moment. That’s right. You’re probably just “Mr. Right Now.” Why would she bring someone to her intermediate circle who she’s not that excited about? Perhaps she can’t function without being in a relationship and needs a boyfriend or she finds you fun but not someone she wants to pursue a future with. Either way, you’re not being taken seriously and it’s up to you to continue the relationship knowing it’s not going to go anywhere later or to stop and find someone who really values you.
14. She Gets Upset When You Lose Some of Your Materialistic Items
Does she become a Debbie downer when your Netflix isn’t working? Does she decide to just go home instead of spending the rest of the time with you? Does she get moody if your car goes down so the date is off? And it just so happens she’s car-less? Does she make you feel bad if your camera breaks and now the whole trip is ruined? If so, she’s using you. She’s only there for what you have to offer materialistically and not emotionally. In a way, it gives her an ego-booster because she can’t afford those items herself so without them, she’s feeling empty inside. There shouldn’t be a prop to make the relationship more fulfilling and thrilling. It only takes two to tango. So if she’s not feeling it when some of your favorite items aren’t available, you need to reconsider the relationship and possibly find someone who appreciates you for you, not for only what you have to offer.
13. She Only Likes To Go Out
She knows you have access to some of the most fun spots so all she wants to do is go out. It’s no coincidence. You’ve never heard her say she wants to stay in but when you two decide to stay home, she becomes indifferent and moody. Do you notice she barely talks to you while spending time inside? In contrast, she’s more in a positive mood when you’re out doing different activities. While it is discouraged to stay in all the time and have the same routine, it is important to take a few steps back once you start noticing suspicious signs. It’s also been advised to keep the relationship alive by spicing things up so it’s okay if going out tends to be more common than staying in. It’s when her attitude is noticeably different between staying in and going out that starts to get concerning. Try entertaining her inside the house and see if she’s up for it.
12. She Only Does What She Wants
This is the ultimate sign of you being a pushover. It’s one thing if she’s taking advantage of your lifestyle but it’s another if she’s pushing you to do whatever she wants. Forget your life, it’s all about where she feels like going. If you’re doing whatever she pleases, then stop now. Not only are you depreciating your value as a person, but you’re probably turning her off as well. The thing is people in general don’t like pushovers. So just because she is still around, doesn’t mean she’s happy being in a relationship with you. It means she’s using you until she finds someone better.
It’s time to grow a voice and put yourself in the loop, too, as opposed to just being tied on a leash. Let her know what you want to do and if she completely shuts it down, refuse to let her to. Tell her you’re going to the mall you want to go to instead of the one she wants with or without her. If she apologizes, then good news. She just thinks about herself too much and she realized she needs to be more considerate. On the other hand, if she leaves you alone without an apology, then it’s really not worth it to fix anything at that point.
11. Only Shows Interest At Work
If you both work for the same company and she shows more enthusiasm during work hours compared to after hours, then there’s something to be concerned about. Perhaps you’re at a higher position and she’s looking to get promoted and you’re her only access she’s got. When work is over and there’s time to go home and relax with each other, she’s not that enthusiastic about it but she’ll go anyways because deep inside, she knows it’ll only benefit her career wise. Again, if you sense this lack of emotional connection from her, she’s definitely using you for something else. Lack of emotional connection includes short responses, no intimate interaction, no initiation from her on an any level, etc. It almost seems as if she’s open to doing anything with you but she’s not really present. If this is the case, you might want to cut the relationship and see her reaction.
10. Interested In A Particular Friend Of Yours
The worst thing that can happen is if she’s using you to get to someone else. It’s so harsh and the lowest of people only commit to this type of behavior. Does she get a certain smile when you mention your friend, Albert, is going to be at that party? Does she tend to mention his name a lot? This is all bad news for you. She’s obviously more into your friend than you. She’s only with you because she knows you’re her only way of access to him. It’s sad but true.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you but more with her. The only way to handle this is as soon as you come down to this conclusion, get rid of her before it gets worse. You can get more hurt in the future so it’s better to end it right away. Communication is key to getting down to all problems, especially this one. If you happen to ask her if she has feelings for your friend and she doesn’t directly answer yes but she kind of slurs through her response then you have your answer.
9. A Change In Her Mood At Social Events
When you two are home alone, with nothing but each other, it should be enough. There’s no need to do something spectacular such as wine and dine to make your relationship valuable. Therefore, if she happens to be indifferent when you’re both alone at home compared to when she’s out with your friends, you need to watch out. Sure, she likes your lifestyle and thinks you have good taste in friends, but that’s not why she should be in a relationship with you. With great friends or not, she should enjoy her time with you. If she doesn’t mind staying at home with you, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s boring. It just means she doesn’t need anything else but you to make her feel good. In other words, is she dating you or your friends? One of the main things guys have been outspoken about when it comes to finding the right girl is she gets along with his friends. But like with everything, too much can be bad. There’s a fine line between getting along with your friends and dating you for your lifestyle.
8. Not Into Your Friends or Family
This is the opposite of being interested in your lifestyle. However, the difference here is it’s not that she rather be alone with you than with others, it’s the fact that she’s not interested in your life at all. There’s being into your lifestyle and not you and then there’s not being into your lifestyle because she doesn’t care to know about it. Both of these are bad news but when it comes to lacking interest in your lifestyle, it’s a red flag that needs to be addressed.
You should be with someone who wants you and is enthusiastic about getting to know your lifestyle without taking advantage of it. So if she only cares about hanging out with you without your friends or family, she’s using you just for company. She’s either lonely or even worse, she knows she can act however she wants with you, especially if she’s being a total pain. Having your friends around not only turns her off but it also scares her because one of your friends will notice how badly she treats you. She certainly doesn’t want that so she rather get away with her bad attitude with only you around.
7. She Likes To Have Her Space Often
Do you ever catch yourself being rejected more than a few times by her? You know she’s not working or doing something productive, but she still doesn’t want to hang out with you. As we all know, it’s fine for couples to want to have their own individual lives but there’s also a fine line between when it’s okay and when it’s not okay. This only insinuates she’s not that into you. When someone is really into you, she wishes the two of you can spend more time together. So if she’s free and isn’t interested in seeing you, you should be concerned.
Once feelings start getting hurt, that’s when one should address the problem. With that being said, if you’re starting to feel down as you notice her lack of interest in seeing you, you need to confront her about it as soon as possible. Communicate your hurt feelings to her and if she doesn’t seem determined to fix the problem, then there’s no point in moving forward.
6. Leaves You Out Of Her Life
Do you happen to notice she doesn’t include you in much of her life events? Do you see her on social media posting photos of her with friends and family but not with you? Do you have to ask her what she’s up to almost all the time? If any of these sound familiar, it might be time to take a step back and see if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in. As mentioned before, it’s important for couples to be independent and have their own lives together, but what’s the point of being in a relationship of you’re not going to share your life with the other person? By not including you in her life, she’s basically saying you’re not good enough only when she needs you such as sexually or financially. It’s nice having you around but you’re not someone she takes seriously. It sounds harsh but the truth is ugly sometimes.
5. Doesn’t Talk To You Except To Nag
If she’s visiting you and all you hear is her complaining about work or a friend, then something is up. She’s not coming to see you to spend some quality time, she’s most likely coming to see you because she knows you’ll hear her out. Basically, you’re being a pushover. If her venting is beginning to annoy you, say something. Don’t let her treat you like you’re a wall she can talk to and not want a response from. If she doesn’t care to hear your opinion, it’s definitely a sign she’s using you to let out her feelings. She can care less about who you are and how your day went. The only thing that matters is her own satisfaction and her feelings being resolved and she can count on you to not shut her up.
As soon as you begin to notice this next time, bring something else up without completely shutting her down. Be there for her but also mention how everything has been going with you or say something entertaining. If she doesn’t show interest such as saying one word responses or even nothing at all, it’s probably time to reevaluate the relationship.
4. She Never Pays For Anything
This is probably one of the biggest signs she is using you and one all men hate. For men, it feels good to be able to provide and some men genuinely feel better if they fully take care of their woman. However, it can get out of hand to others where she doesn’t input anything or bother to take care of you financially. Even if the man enjoys paying for her, it doesn’t hurt for her to ask if she can take care of it. It shows she genuinely cares for you and is overall a well-rounded person. Who doesn’t want that? If she happens to be financially unstable, it can be understandable with a few circumstances. Otherwise, she knows she’s not in the best situation money wise but she has you so she’s fine. That is until you decide to split from her then she starts to panic.
The best thing to do to avoid all of this stress is to bring up early in the relationship how the two of you like to divide money when paying for each other. Be direct about wanting to pay for her food every time so she doesn’t feel a little guilt. Also, be open about how you admire if she takes care of the groceries every now and then. Again, it’s about communication. Don’t wait until things get awkward and you two are forced to talk about it.
3. She Only Calls You At Night
This one should come as a no brainer. She’s using you just for her sexual needs. It’s not only men who are wandering at night. Women also like to be affectionate and if they have someone they know will always be there, then they’re not wasting any time. They’re calling you. If you notice a pattern of her calling more often at night than during the day, then she is most likely up to something. Unless you’re totally on the same page as her, confront her about this. Make sure you’re not in a friends with benefits type of relationship. That’s the last thing people who wish for a real commitment want to hear. Besides confronting her, you should just reject her the next time she calls you in the evening. Tell her you’re busy with something else. If she happens to feel bothered by it, she’s either sexually frustrated or she’s jealous you might have someone else. If it’s the latter, then there is a small chance she might have serious feelings for you other than in the bedroom. However, you can’t be too sure so communicate with her about what you want.
2. Only Calls You When She Doesn’t Have Anyone Else
Being last resort is definitely a sign of being used. If you have an idea of her schedule or what she likes to do for fun, then you know when she’s busy doing her own thing. So if she happens to call you, it’s probably because everyone else is taken and you’re her last option. It sounds sad but it’s something that always happens. Some people are just better at hiding the fact you’re a last resort. Try asking her to hang out more and hope she says yes. If she happens to reject your offer, it’s because she’s genuinely not interested in hanging out with you whether she has plans of her own or not. The only time she’ll take your offer is when she wants to but has no one to go out with. Nobody likes being an option in a relationship. You want to be one of the first people she thinks of when she wants to have a good time.
1. She Doesn’t Care What You Have To Say
Unless you’re about to tell her you have tickets to the most talked about concert that month, she’s not going to show interest in what you’re saying. This includes how your day is going, what you want for dinner, your back pain, etc. She’ll show she cares because as a girlfriend, that’s what you’re supposed to do but it’ll be obvious when it’s not genuine. Why would you be with someone who doesn’t find you interesting? Sure, she likes everything else about you such as your car and where you live. But other than those, she doesn’t care about anything you have to say. The lack of interest will get to you eventually and that’s when you have to bring it up to her that the relationship is not going so well. If she is willing to make you feel more loved, then there’s more to look forward to. If she doesn’t find anything wrong with the way she’s treating you, then it’s time to look elsewhere for a loving relationship.
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