For many self-proclaimed good catches in the world, the matter why one remains single can be a bit of a touchy subject. Despite the fact that you and many others may believe that you are insanely awesome, if you are single, you likely secretly sit around pondering over why you can’t find a mate. These feelings are only heightened each time you receive a wedding invitation or are forced to endure yet another single birthday or holiday season. Which ultimately leaves you downright perplexed in regards to your lack of a romantic connection.
Moreover, the more you think about it, the more you likely become baffled. Of course, you probably know dozens of miserable people who manage to continuously win at love. So, why not you?! Fortunately and unfortunately, that is a loaded question that can only be answered by exploring the various potential causes. And it might interest you to know that many traits that cause people to remain single are not necessarily negative. The following is a closer look at 15 of the most often overlooked reasons why people remain single.
15. You’re Too Smart
No, this isn’t an attempt to stroke you ego. (Besides, you’re way too smart for that!) However, studies have shown that the smarter one is, (and especially if that person is a woman), the harder it may be for them to find a suitable mate. This is largely due to the fact the intelligent people tend to spend more time focusing on their goals and accomplishments than they spend cultivating relationships. It seems that most assume the love of their lives will catch up to them eventually. Nevertheless, this is often not the case.
14. You Date the Wrong People
It’s next to impossible to find the love of your life if you keep dating those you are incompatible with. Although it can be argued that opposites attract, this is only true to a certain extent. In fact, in the case of most so-called “odd couples” there is often a common ground consistently of shared values as well as the devotion to one another which manages to sustain the relationship over time. No matter if you’re a “good girl” who consistently goes for the “bad boy” type or a domineering person who seeks out the weak, if you have little to nothing in common with the people you date, you will remain single indefinitely.
13. You have Bad Hygiene
Although this seems to still be a fairly taboo subject, having bad hygiene may just be the reason you’re still single. Many discount the impact that issues such as body odor, bad breath, greasy hair, and the like can have on a relationship. Especially in the case of things such as bad breath, your mate may become infinitely turned off over time. This is due to the fact that it is difficult to get up close and personal with someone when their every breath is accompanied by a foul and unpleasant odor. Be sure to keep up with those dental and hair appointments!
12. You Live in the Wrong Area
Sure, there’s someone for everyone, but maybe the love of your life lives nowhere near you. In fact, some people are so vastly different from the people they grow up around that they have to relocate in order to find peace, friends, as well as love. This can occur for a number of reasons. Namely, the things you take interest in are popular in other areas and the most popular pastimes in your area are of no interest to you. This means that you likely grew up feeling secluded and were essentially forced to create your own reality. Now that you’re an adult, there is no need to keep daydreaming. There are plenty of people who would enjoy your interests and company. You just need to find them!
11. Your Standards are Too High
Sure, we all have our standards in regards to a potential mate. However, if your standards are too high, you will likely remain single. For instance, you may find someone who is attractive, but not as smart as you would like them to be. On the flip side, you may meat someone who is super smart, but not very attractive. Nobody is perfect, (least of all, you) so, why would your mate be the only person in the world to fit the bill? You have to compromise on something or you will never find a partner.
10. You’re Emotionally Unavailable
Moreover, although you may believe you are ready for love, you may actually be emotionally unavailable. Loosely defined as being detached and unavailable for emotional connection, if you have a series of walls and barriers surrounding your heart, this may apply to you. In other words, you may like the idea of a relationship, but not be in the position to handle the emotion aspect that comes along with it. This often describes those who have had a series of negative relationship-related experiences in their past. Although it is possible to spark up a relationship with such a person, it will likely begin to fizzle rapidly as most people become frustrated with all of the effort it takes to try to connect to someone who is purposely sabotaging the connection.
9. You’re Too Hot
Cool your jets. No, this is not to say that you are the most beautiful being in the world and people are in awe of your sheer magnificence (although this may be the case). Rather, you just may be too attractive for the type of man/woman you are choosing to date. For instance, if you are super attractive, but actually prefer to date someone for reasons other than looks, this person may internally feel they are unworthy of your attention. This is due to the fact that we as a society base a great deal of our ideals about relationships on sexual attraction. This causes those who do not consider themselves to be physically attractive, to feel inferior in regards to romantic relationships. Therefore, when they are approached by a highly attractive individual, they may question your motives and even treat you as though you are unworthy of them, when, in fact, their true fear is that it’s the other way around.
8. Your Job Sucks
Your job (or lack thereof) has a great deal to do with who will and won’t date you. For men, it is imperative that you at least have one as studies have shown that up to 75% of women refuse to date unemployed men. On the flip side, it is also possible to lose your woman if you have a job that doesn’t allow you to spend any time with her at all…though it is still less likely. As far as women are concerned, choosing a profession that is too sexual or being too ambitious can keep you single. This is due to the fact that some men feel emasculated when they’re with a woman who makes more money or who is constantly receiving attention from other men.
7. You have Bad Style
In addition to that, although it may not matter to some, your sense of style may actually be keeping you single. In both males and females, this could mean you either spend too little or too much time on your appearance. A fine line between looking good and being too superficial, most people like people who care enough to get dressed up, but can also be comfortable if they have to throw something on and meet you at a moment’s notice. Therefore, no matter if you’re a male or female, standing in the mirror all the time or not checking the mirror at all can eventually lead to you having no one left to talk to…outside of your own reflection.
6. You’re a Game Player
Another overlooked reason why many people are still single lies in the fact that many choose to see the world of dating as one big game. Indeed, although we each have our own set of tools and tactics we use to land a potential love interest, there is a huge difference between that and choosing to play a game with the relationship as a whole. In other words, if you’re the type of guy who pretends to leave their wallet at home just to see how a woman handles it or the type of woman who orders the highest priced item on the menu to test his wallet, you may soon be sitting at the table alone. Yes, we should all be taking steps to ensure the person we end up with are up to our standards. However, most people don’t take kindly to being manipulated simply for the sake of. There will be plenty of opportunities to see what someone is made of as the relationship progresses. Don’t manipulate yourself back into singlehood.
5. You’re Too Self Sufficient
Furthermore, if you have issues with becoming dependent on another person, you will likely remain single. This is due to the fact that the nature of relationships in and of themselves call for at least some level of dependency. In other words, your mate will like being a part of your life and doing things for you. However, if you simply won’t allow this because you are afraid of getting too used to it, you may lose it altogether. This is not to say you need to totally give up your sense of self and autonomy. Nevertheless, you need to allow your partner to spoil and take care of you from time to time as this helps to build your bond and makes them feel both wanted and needed.
4. Your Self Esteem is Too Low
In addition to that, having self-esteem that is too low can also leave you single. This is due to the fact that having such insecurities can cause you to behave in ways that are counterproductive to a happy, long-term relationship. For instance, you may be jealous and overbearing and blame it on the actions of your partners and others when the actual issue is that you fear they will find someone better and leave you. Moreover, you may be overly flirtatious due to the fact that you feel bad about yourself and crave the attention. This almost always leads to splitsville over time. As cliche as it sounds, you have to lose yourself before you can love someone else.
3. You Refuse Online Dating
In an age in which technology allows us to meet people from all across the globe in a matter of moments, by refusing to date people you meet online, you are effectively drowning a significant portion of your dating pool. Although the vast majority of couples still meet face to face, if you are having trouble finding a mate, you are in no position to be rejecting anything that can help you find true love. Despite the fact that most people are not staying together for very long these days in general, online dating is officially the second best way to meet people in 2016. Get on board!
2. You Still Love Your Ex
Although you may maintain that the truth is the exact opposite, your feelings for your ex may be keeping you single. Somewhat akin to being emotionally unavailable, it is hard to build a new connection, when you’re still attached to the old one. For instance, you may mention your ex…a lot. Sure, we all have our baggage, but most people aren’t interested in being your counselor and you lover. In addition to that, you may still be extremely upset at the person. While it is perfectly fine to feel things for your ex, there is a huge difference between that and being stuck in the moment. Bottom line, if you discuss your ex with passion and too frequently, the average person will see red flags and opt to raise a white flag of their own.
1. You’re Settling for a Situationship
Lastly, in an age in which long-term, committed relationships are on the steady decline, people are finding new ways to satisfy their needs. Rather than getting into full-blown, serious relationships, many young people take on “situationships”, or semi-exclusive relationships that allow for the sex and some of the intimacy of a serious relationship, without the monogamy. While people still tend to get attached in these situations, they are also not inclined to refrain from dating or having sex with others. Moreover, given that many of these “situationships” begin as friendships, things become all the more confusing over time. In addition, some actually believe that the relationship will one day evolve into a more fulfilling one, which is usually not the case. In a nutshell, you have settled for something like a relationship without actually demanding the respect or commitment that comes along with it. What motivation is this giving the person to commit to you if they already have the best of you without compromising at all? Or to put it in today’s terms, why purchase a premium data package when you already get the wi-fi for free?