If you had to rate yourself based on how kinky you are, on a scale of one to ten, what number would you pick? Are you a totally vanilla, “no sex unless the lights are off” kind of person? Or a BDSM dungeon-dwelling freak who eats sex toys for breakfast? Most people would honestly rank themselves lower on the list. The craziest they’ll be is lingerie and role-playing. Maybe a three-way if the opportunity presents itself. As such, you may also find that your sex life is stagnating. These two facts go pretty hand-in-hand. When you repeat the same old sexual activities over and over, even if it’s with different partners, you’ll find that the routine gets pretty old. After all, variety is the spice of life, is it not?
In order to boost your kink rating in the bedroom, it’s time to try out some new things – some things you probably would never try unless you were dared to. Well, here’s the dare: try at least one of these 12 weird ways to get intimate, or all of them – if you’re nasty. Here are twelve things that may sound weird but will be awesome.
12. Mutual Exploration
Sometimes the best way to start having more fun in the bedroom is to start off by not actually going at it at all. Great sex is all about exploring and understanding both you and your partner’s body, and how they fit together in the best way. Not every woman is one size fits all, and men aren’t all the same either. This means that you’ll have to truly learn to explore and get used to someone before the sex can be as electrifying as you want it to be.
Don’t actually go for the Full Monty next time you’re with your partner. Have an exploration session where nothing is off limits – squeeze, pull, touch and feel every inch of each other in any way you’d like to better physically understand one another.
11. Risky Places
There’s actually a bit of science behind why risky sex is more pleasurable for most people. When you feel anxiety or like you’re afraid of something, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins can be very closely linked to pleasure, and thrills and pleasure go hand in hand.
Don’t just start going at it next time you’re on the subway, though, and remember there’s always a legal element to having sex in places that are public – but that’s part of what makes it risky. If you want to make things safer but without getting the cops called on you, try to have some kinky fun at a friend’s house or a party. You may get caught, but you aren’t having sex in a public place, so no laws are broken. Just make sure no minors are around to walk in on you – that could be a problem.
10. Light Bondage
You don’t have to be hanging from the ceiling by your ankles to participate in bondage, BDSM, or dominant/submissive-play. You also don’t need a lot of fancy, expensive equipment either. Next time you want to explore, simply grab something that can be used as a restraint (a tie, a pillowcase rolled up, a cord of some kind) and a spatula or other flat instrument. Voila, you have a restraint and a flogger.
Remember though, that even light bondage should play by the rules of normal bondage. Always have a safe word just in case you become uncomfortable with what is happening, and never try out acts that include violence without first trusting your partner.
9. Pretend Strangers
Girlfriend? What girlfriend? You’re a single man – or at least you are in your next role-play scenario. While the point of most fantasies is to be different people, there’s usually a fantasy element involved. You’re a doctor; she’s a nurse, etc. Instead of making things wildly unrealistic (unless you do happen to be a doctor and a nurse in a relationship), try for something a little more manageable.
A “pretend strangers” exercise is also a good way to rekindle romance in a relationship that’s flickering out. Go to a bar or restaurant and ask your partner to pretend they don’t know you, and vice versa applies to you. Try to pick each other up and flirt like you’ve never met before.
8. Age Difference
As a disclaimer, this does not mean you’re allowed to try and score with people that aren’t legal – that’s never cool. What this advice does mean is you should probably try to experiment with someone who’s in a different age bracket from you. If you’re a 20-something, try going for a cougar or an older guy. If you are a cougar or an older gentleman, try experimenting with someone outside of a 10 year age radius.
Learning and exploring with someone who is outside of your age group can be a really enriching sexual experience. Either you are learning from someone more experienced or you’re being with someone that has a youthful vigor you aren’t accustomed to. Isn’t that a win-win?
7. Reverse Voyeurism
Voyeurism is usually applied to someone when they like being seen having sex. Reverse voyeurism is when you enjoy watching someone have sex. Get the difference?
The piece of advice about risky places could be a form of light voyeurism, but you’re always free to take things up a notch. In this example, however, you’re the person observing someone being intimate in some way, and you’re doing it on purpose. There’s something especially scintillating about watching someone be sexual for you, all while you can look but you can’t touch. This is an activity you can enjoy alone or with a partner for great results.
6. In Water
“Sex on the beach” is both a common romanticism and incense fragrance that definitely isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. You can get a sunburn, there’s sand everywhere and it scraps where the sun doesn’t shine, and not to mention all that saltwater. If you want an actually enjoyable experience akin to having sex on the beach, why not try it in the bath?
It’s hard to enjoy getting it on in the water elsewhere, as nice as the thought might be. Pools have chlorine and lakes have trash and fish debris floating everywhere. If you want a nice, romantic atmosphere to try out this tip, just settle for the bathtub. It’s also a lot more intimate, boosting the romance factor.
5. Different Places
This also kind of goes hand in hand with the “risky places” tip, but this can be a lot more general. The bedroom may be the usual choice but what about other places? The kitchen table, the couch, the washing machine?
Don’t just settle for one room and one position. If you can figure out how to fool around on your riding lawnmower, by all means try (while it’s off, of course). The point is, be inventive. Standing up, sitting down, or upside down if you can figure out how. Just try someplace different and reap the sensual rewards.
Sex isn’t just about touching and feeling. It also doesn’t have to be about just having a physical connection, either. Your auditory sense is often the most underutilized sense you play with when you’re having intimate moments, outside of enjoying a nice moan or two.
Try this exercise next time you and your partner want to be intimate: think of it as phone sex without the phone. Talk each other through instructions and descriptions of what you want and what you want your partner to do. No touching, just telling and listening to the product of your instructions. See if that can get things spiced up again.
This may not be so easy for guys, but ice can be the cheapest and easiest sex toy you can ever make in your own home. Forget the vibes and plugs for a second and simply go get an ice cube tray to have fun with. The cooling sensation of ice can both arouse a sense of pain, but also pleasure. At first, the sudden sensation of ice can be a little jarring, causing some goose bumps, but it’s also pretty easy to get addicted to this rush.
You can also take things a little further with oral and more sexual play. You don’t have to make a commitment to it, either. If you don’t like playing with ice, the worst it can do is melt.
2. Bedroom Games
Getting a little cheesy sometimes can be exactly what you need in the bedroom. You can easily Google a hundred different weird sex games, but here’s a couple you can try out pretty easily. First, find a pair of dice and pick out 12 different acts. Roll the dice and see what numbers you get. Whatever the dice comes up with, that’s the act you must perform.
Simple things like striptease card games can actually do wonders for your sex life, as corny as they sound. All in all, just doing something outside of the norm is usually enough to spice things up.
1. Home Videos
The “adult” industry isn’t just shot in a basement with “professional” actors and a pair of large stage lights. You can make movies in your own home as long as you have some kind of video camera. Maybe the idea of a sex tape is a little too publicized and trashy for you, especially considering how they’re essentially a new form of media promotion in the celebrity world, but they can actually be a lot of fun.
Just don’t focus on putting a lot of effort into it. It can be really exhilarating to watch yourself have a fun time with your partner, especially if they happen to not be there at the moment. Just remember that if you ever break up, do the honorable thing and delete it.