When you meet someone who really gets your heart racing, it can be a bit nerve racking when you want to approach them. You don’t want to say the wrong thing when all you want to do is to impress someone, man or woman.
So let’s just say you went out with a girl you were really into. She seemed great. Maybe you had a date or two. Everything seemed to be going well. You give her call to see how she is, possibly with the intention of asking her out again. She picks up the phone or responds to you via text message. And she says “Thanks for the date but I’m not interested in seeing you any again”. Or even worse, she leaves you hanging for days with no response. You’re left wondering -what the heck happened?
This happens all the time, regardless of gender. However, there are things both men and women don’t realize that can be a complete turnoff to the person we are seeing. Of course, we have the obvious suspects: horrendous body odor, a foul mouth, or being incredibly disrespectful are common culprits that makes us reject a second date. Now, for men, there are some things that you may do that will turn her off, intentional or not.
Whether you are in a relationship or just casually dating, our list reveals possible traits and habits that can push any good woman away. So here are 12 unexpected things men do that can really turn their girl off. Read closely, fellas!
12. You’re Being Too Nice
Of course, being nice and respectable are great qualities human beings should possess anyway, and it is a major turn on for women to see a guy who is kind. That being said, there is a difference between that and being too nice for your own good. When a guy is too nice it can come off as if he is passive. Women don’t like that and it’s a major turn off. We want a man who has boundaries and has self-respect. It’s okay to say no if you don’t want to eat at our favorite restaurant tonight or disagree with our political opinions. We will respect you for it.
11. You’re Hearing Us But You’re Not Listening
There is a difference between hearing and listening. We get it! Women can talk a lot- way more than men do. But listening to what we have to say shows more interest rather than just saying “oh cool” or nodding your head. It will take you a long way. In the early stages of a relationship, we need to listen to the other person closely because it shows you are open to conversation and in-tune with the other person. When you are only hearing a few choice words, it shows you don’t really care about what we think or feel. Not listening is one of biggest turn offs a woman can get from a guy.
10. You’re Overly Emotional
Look, it’s okay for a man to cry. It shows you’re human with a heart. Sometimes you’re trying so hard to be strong that you just couldn’t do it anymore. It’s a whole other level though, if you are crying me a river everyday or getting overly passionate about every little thing. Women expect men to be the strong one in the relationship, physically and emotionally, because you guys usually assess the situation first before reacting. Again, this is not to say men can’t have themselves a “moment” every now and then. It’s lovely when a man shows his emotions every once in awhile. Just don’t lose control over your emotions on every single thing because that can definitely push us away.
9. You’re Being Sexist
Women are automatically turned off by a man who believes that women should be beneath him, socially and economically. Woman do not want a man who doesn’t support her career goals, lifestyle, and life aspirations. We deserve to be respected and treated equally. So whether your girlfriend wants a career in the arts or just wants to travel the world, support her. She will love you for it. Don’t be jealous of her because you would rather work corporate or because she gets paid more than you. It makes you look insecure and no independent woman will stick around for that. If she supports you, you should do the same. Trust me, she will love you even more if you do.
8. You Talk Too Much About Yourself
On some level, we all like talking about ourselves. But when you’re going on a first date with someone you like, you don’t want talk too much about yourself. When women hear a guy bringing the conversation back around to focus on him, we start thinking “What??? Don’t you want to ask anything about me?” This can make you appear egotistical. It’s as if you just want to hear yourself talk all day and that is a mega turn-off. The focus should be on her and less on you. I’m not saying women aren’t capable of this also. Or that it can happen unintentionally. Nonetheless, you should be less selfish, Mr!
7. There’s Such A Thing As Being Too Much Of A Mama’s Boy
Granted, these times are tough for many of us. We may have to go back home after graduating from college, a bad breakup, or losing a job. There is no shame in going back home to help your parents out or to figure out what your next steps in life are going to be. However, it’s a turn off if you are purposefully staying at your parents place because you don’t want to do your own laundry, your mom is making every financial decision for you and you are turning thirty-five next week. While most of our parents do have good judgment that we can rely upon (God bless them!), we have to make our own adult choices. Women want a man who can hold a job, is financially secure, and is able to take care of himself. Again, there is nothing wrong with being close to mom. We just don’t want a Norman Bates situation.
6. You’re Too Shy
Sometimes a little shyness can be cute and endearing to some women. Just try not to let it hinder you from communicating. Or worse, let it prevent you from showing interest in her. I love meeting a man who’s confident (even if he is a bit reserved at first) and isn’t afraid to approach me. There’s nothing wrong with being shy in the beginning because you are a person just like everyone else. But at some point, you have to approach her or else you will lose your chance. Smile, talk to her, and look at her in the eye. If you don’t do any of these things, we’ll think you’re not interested or too uptight to have any fun.
5. You’re Cheap!
We love it when you leave a good impression, especially when we are going out to dinner. That being said, you cannot be cheap. If we catch you complaining about paying the bill or not wanting to tip the waiter, we may not give you that second date. How you treat money is important. It shows how you value money but it also gives us a chance to see how you treat affection and love. It also shows if you are generous person or not. If you are stingy with your money, are you the same way with love? Let’s hope not!
4. You’re Being Indecisive
Women want a man who can make decisions, whether it’s only plans for a date night or career choices. We all have moments of being unsure about things but at some point you have to make a choice. Coming across as someone who always leaves decisions up to someone else shows laziness and a lack of interest. Men who are able to take charge are incredibly sexy. That doesn’t mean that women should just leave all the decision making up to him. We just want a man who isn’t wishy-washy and can make decisions with us. Make us feel like you care, okay? That’s all we ask.
3. You Give Other Women Too Much Attention
This is a big one. We understand that there will always be other attractive people in this world but, when you are with your girlfriend or soon-to-be significant other, you want to make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the room. Make her feel special by focusing your googly eyes on her, not the “hot” woman standing next to you who has curves like Beyoncé. You are not dating her. People say you shouldn’t have tunnel vision but this is an exception. The same rule can be applied to your best gal pals. Again, they may look lovely… just don’t make your woman feel inadequate. It may make your woman back away if this becomes an issue.
2. You Come On Too Strong
Yes, we like a man who is confident and shows interest. It’s completely fine to do those things. However, if your feelings for us are over the top with your affections, we may begin to question if you’re being genuine or not. Of course every woman is different. Some may not mind it. Yet, there are women out there who may not want to do a lot of PDA on the first couple of dates. I don’t mind getting compliments but if they are to the point where they are too suggestive too soon, I just may head for the hills. Take your time with her. She will kiss you when the moment is right. We want you to get to know us. “Too Much Too Fast” can be a turnoff for sure.
1. Don’t Give Her The Cold Shoulder
It doesn’t matter if we had an argument that left you upset or if you just had a bad day at work. Giving your girl the cold shoulder is a big turn off. Communication in a relationship is important. What’s the point in being in a relationship if you cannot or will not tell your significant other what’s going on inside? It’s common knowledge for us women that men keep their feelings bundled up inside but you have to remember women are emotional beings. We need to talk stuff out. We can tell if you are hurting and it hurts us if you push us away with the “I’m fine, leave me alone” routine. The cold shoulder makes us feel unwanted and it’s just plain rude! If you want us, don’t be afraid to open up.