Every little girl wants to grow up and be a princess, right? At least, that’s the widely accepted generalization.
After Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton, she quickly became a cultural icon and a woman who many other women envied. I mean after all, there was much to envy about Kate. For starters, her hair is spectacular. Like, how does one even get hair that shiny and perfect? She is like a walking Pantene commercial.
Next, there is her engagement ring, a 12-karat Ceylon sapphire. What woman wouldn’t want to wear Princess Diana’s old engagement ring? Kate Middleton just walks around everyday with a ring worth a cool $500,000 on her finger. You know, no biggie.
On top of the engagement ring, she also has access to the family jewels, like the Lotus Flower tiara, Princess Diana’s favorite. No wonder Kate has sported it herself on a few occasions. Not only does Kate Middleton have access to tiaras, she also has occasions to which she can wear tiaras. When, besides her wedding day, does a regular woman actually have a chance to wear a tiara? Like, never.
While Kate’s life may seem like a whirlwind of fancy events, jewelry and fame, it would actually kind of suck to be her, if you really, really think about it. Yes, I know, it’s hard to get past to jewelry but when you start to realize how little freedom she is granted and how much of her life is in the public eye, you may begin to value your anonymity over her 12-karat sapphire ring. Here are eleven reasons why being Kate Middleton would actually suck.
11. No Career Of Her Own
Unfortunately for Kate, her title is Duchess of Cambridge. I say unfortunately because her title will never be astronaut, CEO, defense attorney, actress or whatever the hell she dreamed of being as a child. Sure, she, like many other little girls, may have actually dreamed of one day becoming royalty, but now that she is royalty, that is all for her. Forget writing a novel, like sister Pippa, or taking up that pole dancing workout class.
Of course, Kate has the ability to champion causes and charities about which she feel passionate so there is that but really, her full-time gig will always be being part of the royal family, being Prince William’s wife and raising the next generation of royals.
10. No Social Media
Considering the fact that many 34-year-old women have several different forms of social media, isn’t it odd that Kate does not? There is no authentic profile on for Kate Middleton on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Even if she had a form of social media, she wouldn’t be able to use it like us normal people do, you know, sharing updates about life and staying in touch with friends. Nope, she’d have to carefully curate everything to be in line with how the royal family wants to be perceived. She could never be tagged in a photo where she looks a little bit tipsy or get into a Twitter war with a Kardashian family member.
It’s a shame that being a princess means that there is no sharing of the selfies or cute baby photos. Next time you dream of being a princess, remember that you wouldn’t have been able to make that status about binge-watching Fuller House and eating pizza.
9. Pictures From The Past
Speaking of social media, how many tagged photos from college would you rather the world not see? Probably a handful, right? If you were to ever marry someone royal, those pictures would come back and haunt you, the same way they haunt Kate. How many times have you seen the above photo of her wearing that see-through dress in college? It’s everywhere. She wore this dress in a fashion show at St Andrews University and supposedly Prince William could not take his eyes off her. Ah, the see-through dress that launched Kate into queen-dom.
So, while you are wishing you were a princess, just remember that those unflattering photos of you doing a keg stand with your shirt falling around your head would be blasted everywhere.
That’s not where the embarrassing photos would end. Can you possibly imagine having your picture taken every single time you step out of your house? That’s exactly what happens to Kate Middleton. There are photos of her grocery shopping, eating at a restaurant, or getting coffee. These are things people do on the weekly basis but they don’t have to worry about being photographed.
This is not to mention the amount of times that Kate has been photographed as her skirt went flying up, revealing quite a bit of royal leg and, sometimes, royal butt. In some cases, she is wearing a tightly tailored skirt but the paparazzi just happen to catch her even in the slightest breeze, because they are always, always there.
7. Everything You Do Is News
Literally, everything single thing Kate Middleton does is news. If she attends an event, it is news, what she wore is news, who she spoke to is news. It is news that she breastfed her children. When she steps out of the house six weeks after giving birth, looking quite thin, that is news. You get it, anything she does is news, even what she buys at the grocery store.
Recently, tabloids have gossiped about her missing events. We can all probably calm down though, since she’s a mother of two and a little busy with that to keep up with all her social commitments. There’s also the ongoing news of her weight gain or weight loss, proving that losing five or ten pounds is news when you’re a royal. Being under the microscope isn’t much fun.
6. Queen Elizabeth Is The Boss
Kate Middleton isn’t the queen yet and until she is, she’ll have to answer to ol’ Queen Elizabeth II. The rumor mill has reported about the Queen Elizabeth vs Kate Middleton throw downs ever since Kate was linked to William. Whether there is truth in all the rumors of Queen Elizabeth’s disapproval, one thing is for sure: Queen Elizabeth is still in charge.
It is rumored that Kate Middleton’s staple wedge-heels have disappeared from her wardrobe because of the Queen’s distaste for wedges. Considering the Queen may have control over something as small as shoes, one must wonder what else she dictates about Kate and William’s lives.
5. She Can’t Even Wear What She Wants
Queen Elizabeth dictating Kate’s shoe choice (the infamous wedges in the above photo) is only one small issue in Kate Middleton’s wardrobe. The truth is that everything she steps out wearing is under scrutiny. Unfortunately, because of this, she ends up dressing in clothes that are more conservative and, at times, considered boring by fashion critics. Even in her attempts to avoid criticism, it is still there. Most recently, Kate was blasted by PETA for wearing fur gloves on a family ski trip. Then again, PETA is always blasting someone.
4. Windsor Castle Is Probably Haunted
Alright, so Kate might not have to live here but she hosts a lot of formal events here. The Windsor Castle was built by William the Conqueror in the 1070s. That’s almost 1,000 years ago. 1,000 years! Just think of all the people who have probably died in these walls. Oh, and apparently, ten British monarchs are buried in the chapel there. There’s lunches, dinners, parties and galas all held here that Kate is expected to attend. While the castle is undoubtedly beautiful, it is probably creepy as hell, especially when night falls.
3. All The Small Talk
Holy hell. Can you even imagine all of the small talk Kate Middleton must make in a single day? Being that she has one of the most recognizable faces in the world, she cannot even go food shopping without having to make pleasant conversation with a stranger. This is not even to mention all of the events she attends and all of the dignitaries to whom she must talk. How many witty stories must she have up her sleeve for all of these encounters? On top of that, she has to know all the major current events because heaven forbid she is talking to someone about their country and doesn’t know what’s going on.
2. Those Awful Post-Labor Pictures
This seems like, hands down, the worst part of Kate Middleton’s life. With both Princess George and Princess Charlotte, Kate has had her hair and makeup done, put on a dress and stepped out with her new baby and Prince William for a little photo op only hours after giving birth. You have got to be kidding me. Literally, the last time any woman wants to do after pushing a baby out of her body is have photos taken of her and not just any photos, photos that will wind up in every magazine around the world. I can’t imagine a nightmare worse than having to deal with this. So, ladies, be thankful you are a lowly commoner, who gets to lie in your hospital bed, tired, sweaty and gross, instead of having to pose for photographs that will be in almost every magazine around the world.
1. Her Inability To Lead A “Normal” Life
Before the royal wedding, 1,000 British women were polled as to if they would like to be Kate Middleton. A whooping 86% said that they were not jealous of Kate at all and the reason being was her “inability to lead a normal life.”
This last point is basically a summary of all the above points. Despite being a princess and seemingly having it all, Kate does not have the ability to lead a normal life. She will never experience life the same way most normal people do and that is actually really, really sad. While Kate Middleton has all the treats that come with being royalty, you know, like jewelry, privilege, castles, security, money, she doesn’t have the precious anonymity that we common folk have.