How comfortable are you with your relationship on social media? Every couple is different and two people in a relationship are not completely the same. Even if your past relationship was all about sharing it on social media, that does not mean your current one is. While it all depends on how you use social media, it can either help you or bring you back together with an old love, but it also has the potential to completely ruin a good thing.
Social media is a blessing for many of us in many ways, but in love, how we use it and what we decide to reveal on any of the top 5 sites will determine if we sink or swim. While it may be slightly different, this can apply to people whether you are in a casual or serious relationship. I can’t help but say awww when I see two couples together on vacation on an exotic island or posting pictures of birthday celebrations with family and friends. When I start feeling awkward is when couples post drama and secrets that my eyes and ears are just not meant to see.
As much as I love Jeremy Piven’s role as the arrogant, fast talking movie agent on the hit show Entourage, the recent buzz about his social media drama makes me wonder. He allegedly has been sending creepy texts to his ex-girlfriend Kate Nardi. Things got even more awkward when Nardi’s new boyfriend Justin Rossly (a wealthy entrepreneur), exposed the drama by dishing out details and posting Jeremy’s phone number for his followers to call and ask him to stop contacting her. Not a very good situation to be in now, is it?
Get your pen and paper ready! Here are the top 10 ways to keep your relationship while on social media.
10. Avoid Socializing With Your Exes
Let’s face it. With the way that social media is designed these days, anyone and everyone can find you if they really want to, and our exes just so happen to fall into that category.
There are times when an innocent post and comment to an ex can seem friendly, but if there are pent up emotions still lingering then watch out because it can cause a whole lot of trouble. First thing’s first, socializing with your ex online might make your current partner uncomfortable. Plus, if your ex still has feelings for you, don’t be surprised if they upload an old video or picture of the two of you, tag it and post it for everyone to see.
You have to set boundaries and make sure that using social media doesn’t turn into a way for your ex to make your partner feel jealous in an attempt to get you back. It is important to be completely open with your partner, and never accept flirtatious direct messages or play into attention grabbing posts from an ex. Even if your partner pretends they don’t mind, it can lead to resentment and that can lead to big problems in the future.
9. Don’t Post Everything
Many of us fall into the trap of getting photo happy and posting every moment of our relationships online. While this may work for celebrities and people that live in the public eye, this can hurt your relationship. If done in a toxic way, it can also make you look like you are just seeking attention or bragging, even when your relationship may not be all that great.
If you and your partner have broken up, please do not post a classic love letter about wanting to get them back. With social media comes haters and that’s the last thing you need when you are in a vulnerable state. Trust me, it is better to express these types of things offline.
That being said, it can be nice to make it seem like you have a life outside of social media. Occasionally post pictures of your relationship with a mix of posts of family and friends, and keep other elements of your life a mystery. Don’t make yourself appear that your life revolves around one person and most importantly, if your real friends really want to know how you are doing, they shouldn’t have to see it online first.
8. Jealousy Never Works
We all experience ups and downs no matter how happy we are in a relationship. How you decide to keep it spicy with your partner is completely up to you, but trying to make him or her jealous using social media is completely unacceptable.
I’ve seen people post pictures in the club having a fun time with friends and selfies with their exes just to get even or get more attention from their partner. While this might seem like a good idea at the time, this never ends up working out for the best. If you are feeling neglected in your relationship, the best solution is to talk about it with your partner. Trying to get the other person jealous can turn into trust issues and can put a damper on your relationship.
Relationships should not be based on trying to stir up emotions through negative actions. It might feel good in the moment but it’s not worth it in the end.
7. Eye Candy Photos
This topic is relative because some people love public displays of affection and thrive off of the fact that their partner is considered “hot” to many people, while others may hate it. When posting sexy photographs and videos becomes ridiculous, is when you are not considering the feelings of your partner, and it starts to appear through social media that you are not even in a relationship. Not to mention if the other person you are dating sees you as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend and you are posting bikini selfies, twerking in the club or constantly flexing in the mirror with your shirt off while at the gym, your chances of being taking seriously are slim to none.
Have some discretion and before you post. Think to yourself, if my partner posted this, how would I feel?
6. Should I or Shouldn’t I?
It’s fun when you post questions on Twitter or Facebook to get your friends’ opinions on an outfit, what restaurant to go to or the best island to visit for March break. When you post questions about whether you should get back with someone or drama that is happening in your relationship, press delete and walk away from the computer.
Depending on the dynamic of your non-romantic relationships, most of your real friends should be on your speed dial or a text message away. Why post your personal business online to get an opinion when you can invite a group of your friends out to dinner and dish the news?
The last thing that you need is your girlfriend calling you about a post their friend sent to them because you needed relationship help.
5. What’s The Role Of Privacy?
There are people out there in successful relationships that have not and will never turn to social media to show the world what they have. Some people like to keep their information completely private because they know very well what the wrong post can lead to. It may seem like some people are trying to play the field online, while hiding their man offline, but this is not always the case.
There is no rule in a book that says if you keep your relationship private online that means you are cheating or hiding a good thing. Some people just so happen to be more interesting, and enjoy posting themselves online versus just photos of their relationship.
4. Delete As Soon As Possible
Most of us have good intentions when we are dating and just starting to get to know someone. However, many of us have experienced friends, or people we barely know, posting or tagging us in photos that just don’t paint us in the best light.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and we see things differently compared to others. What may be an inside joke to yourself and your friends may look awful to a new potential dating partner. If a friend posts a picture of you with a person that your partner just so happens to be in an argument with, it could also cause big drama. The last thing any relationship problem needs is outside trolls who start commenting or sharing the photo and getting you in hotter water. It is even worse when you were not even talking to the person in question, you just so happened to be standing beside each other or were just in the same location, but for different reasons.
When in doubt, delete, delete, delete. Some people like to cause drama online, and getting caught up into something you had no intention on starting can turn into more than what it really needs to be.
3. Sharing An Account
I am starting to see this more often when a couple will share an account. Their profile picture and user name makes it very obvious that it is a “couple’s” social media account. This can be good for those that own a business together and are known for working together when promoting the business. Depending on the two people, it can also help to diffuse social drama that is bound to happen at any time.
If you decide to share an account, this indicates that the both of you are confident and trust each other in the relationship. It might even take off the pressure of having to keep up with your account if the two of you are sharing it at the same time.
For couples with children (that are comfortable with posting family info) this can also make your relationship easier, if both of you can be on top of posting enough cute photos of your children. Get creative and make it fun. Social media doesn’t necessarily have to be a challenge when the whole family is involved.
2. “The World Revolves Around Me” Problem
There are some people that are born to naturally draw people to them. Some men and women are born with good looks and whether they are doing something exotic or just holding hands with their partner while out on the town, it will still draw attention even when they are not looking for it.
If you are one of those people that are a lady or hunk magnet, the comments and direct messages will reflect the same reality. Whatever you do, don’t bask in the attention to the point that your partner starts feeling neglected. Remember, social media can be a fantasy world for many. A wink, like or nice comment doesn’t mean that you can get away with flirting or cheating even if Popular is your middle name.
When you are in a serious relationship, the world no longer revolves around you. Remember that one has become two.
1. Keep it Classy
There is an old saying that goes “always walk the high road.” This applies to work, school, relationships and life in general. We all know that what you post online can be deleted, but not completely. People can save images and photos, sometimes quicker than you can delete them. Even when you think your Facebook is secure like Fort Knox, the right amount of online activity and those photos can be linked to your name when you search yourself on Google. Say goodbye to job prospects!
Now that social media is an essential part of our lives, I have heard many men and woman mention they will Google a person they are just starting to get to know. With that being said, think before you post and if you have a gut feeling it is not a good idea, listen to your intuition.