What do women want? It’s a question men have struggled with, since long before Mel Gibson tried to find the answer in the 2000 movie, “What Women Want.” People from pick-up artists to self-help gurus have all claimed to know the answer, leading to all kinds of conflicting advice – be funny, be serious, be friendly, be rude, be this, be that. The fact is, guys, dating is hardly rocket science. Things that people – or especially movies, music and TV – have told you are dating no-no’s can actually be positives when it comes to the opposite sex, for the obvious reason that not all women want the same thing. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, and often guys will hide what’s unique about themselves instead of showing it off.
The same is true for girls, too: men may think every woman wants the Channing Tatum, all-American hunk type, but that’s just not true. All kinds of men can be attractive to women, including some types that you wouldn’t expect. Here are 10 guys you might be surprised to find that women dig:
10. Guys Who Cook
Okay, let’s start off with a pretty obvious one: being able to cook elevates you miles in a lady’s eyes. They say that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so why shouldn’t the same be true for women? It shows that you know how to take care of yourself, and how to take care of someone else. Being (literally) catered to makes a woman feel valued, even pampered. Plus, invite her over for a home-cooked meal and there’s no need to take her home afterwards: she’s already there. So, next time you set up a date, try skipping the “Netflix and Chill” in favor of some “Netflix and chili”!
News flash, gentlemen: all things nerdy are cool now. From comic books to coding, most women want a touch of nerdiness in their men, whether or not they’re willing to admit it. After all, being a nerd – a music nerd, a comedy nerd, even a sports nerd – really just means you’re passionate about something, and nothing is more important to a relationship than passion. If you let her in on something you’re interested in, it’s more than likely that she’ll reciprocate and show you something she likes too, and then you’ve got a deeper understanding of what makes each other tick. In fact, some of the most successful relationships are ones that started through video games! Nerd love is real, people.
Success – in the traditional, business-suits-and-power-lunches sense of the word – is definitely attractive to most women, for obvious reasons. But not every girl is rushing to get her MRS degree. In fact, lots of women get tired of men trying to impress them with typical signifiers of wealth. Romance is about adventure, and adventure is about playing by your own rules, not society’s. Showing that you don’t give a f**k about rules and expectations – to a reasonable extent, of course – is irresistibly cool. And a leather jacket doesn’t hurt, either.
To so many men, “feminist” is like a dirty word, conjuring up images of yelling women without bras (or something). But it’s 2016, so it’s time to get woke, men! As Beyoncé will tell you, feminism is really about equality of the sexes. Every woman has had experiences with guys who catcall, make rude comments or treat them as less than equals, so when men understand why equality and respect are important, it’s always much appreciated. With male celebs like John Legend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Daniel Radcliffe proudly calling themselves feminists, you’ll be in good company too.
Every woman will tell you she’s had this experience: you get on the train, sit down, and there across from you is some scruffy, Ray Ban-sporting specimen, deeply engrossed in a dog-eared copy of Nabokov or Kerouac. It’s almost a romantic comedy cliché at this point – boy meets girl amidst stacks of faded classics – but that doesn’t make it any less alluring. Seeing a guy wrapped up in a different world like that is a sign to a woman that there’s more going on in his mind than just sports scores and bra sizes. Plus, there’s no better conversation starter than, “hey, I read that one too!” Instant connection.
5. Mama’s Boys
It’s a piece of advice as old as time: if you want to see what a man is really like, look at how he treats his mother. Now, nobody’s suggesting you go full Bates Motel, but demonstrating your love for the one that gave birth to you is a surefire way to a girl’s heart. For one, it shows you’re sensitive: not afraid to show affection. Nobody wants an emotionally stunted guy, after all! Also, it shows that family values are important to you, and if family values are important to her too – which they likely are – that’s an instant connection on a deeper level.
Remember 2002? American Idol was new and exciting, a flip phone was something you actually wanted, and guys sported faux-hawks and skinny scarves like they were going out of style – which, admittedly, they were. But, in this time of scraggly beards and haphazard man-buns, ladies appreciate a little bit of grooming. Your lady friends will tell you that a well-tailored suit basically has the same effect on women that lingerie does for men, and little fashion details – a tie clip, a nice pair of socks – can make the difference between seeming like a boy and seeming like a man.
3. Kinky Guys
The modern women knows what she wants in bed. If a certain popular book-and-film franchise has taught us anything, it’s that women shouldn’t be afraid to admit if they want to get a little freaky – and lots of women do! Studies have shown that women have just as many sexual fantasies as men do, but, because of stigma, they may be afraid to talk about what they want in bed. Don’t be afraid to initiate a conversation about trying new things in the bedroom. You might be glad you did – and she will be too!
2. Sober Guys
Modern dating is a little too reliant on alcohol. In today’s hookup culture, booze acts like a “social lubricant,” lowering anxiety, especially between people who just met each other. But taking alcohol out of the equation can actually open up a lot of possibilities. You’ll discover that there are loads of fun things to do while sober, things that are way more interesting than just going to a bar. And being sober allows you the chance to get to know each other better, instead of just forgetting everything you’ve told one another when you’re naked and hungover the next day.
1. Humble Men
Dudes – don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself! Humor is key in attracting women, and a little self-deprecating humor goes a long way. After all, being in a relationship with someone means spending a lot of time with one another, up-close-and-personal, and you get to know each other’s flaws pretty well. So, while it’s important to be confident, it’s also important to be honest, and not pretend to be perfect. This includes not bragging about your accomplishments all the time – ladies can always see through fake swagger! If you really have something worth bragging about, let it speak for itself. We’ll be all the more appreciative when you do.