Imagine yourself with the perfect girl; you guys are like two peas in a pod. One minute, everything is rainbows and butterflies… and the next thing you know, you get a smack in the face by reality. Without hesitation and without warning, she breaks up with you and says you pushed her away. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a heads-up when you’re on the wrong track?
So many factors are involved when considering one’s flaws as a partner. And oftentimes, it’s much easier said than done to correct these shortcomings. But, fear not, there are some clues that will give you insight into what you should, and shouldn’t be doing with your girl. For each, there needs to be some customization on your part. Not every girl is the same, and it goes to follow that not every relationship is the same either. Hence, you need to do your part. None of this will matter if you don’t genuinely care about the person you’re with. Like any endeavor, you need to want it; if you do, then the rest will flow naturally. With that being said, here are some gentlemen sure to drive away any woman.
10. Mr. Clinger
This guy’s a given. People like to breathe, so your whole smothering, suffocating, overbearing nature is a no-no. When it comes to this trait, you need to suppress, suppress, suppress! It’s perfectly fine to want to be with your partner, but space is healthy (for both parties). Now, that doesn’t mean you have to go days without seeing her. Space can be given in different ways. For example, you don’t need a play-by-play of where she is and what she’s doing, and you don’t need a list of people she’s going to be with. These might be extreme examples, but you get the idea.
9. Mr. Winner
Men have a tendency to be competitive, and that’s good, as long as you know where to draw the line. Key points to consider are:
1) Frequency: your ‘competitive’ switch doesn’t have to be on all the time. This doesn’t mean you need to let her win; girls actually like when they’re treated like worthy competitors (within reason, of course, don’t go challenging her to a wrestling match, unless it’s the playful/foreplay kind of wrestling).
2) Context: in some cases, it’s better if you just give up the win; basically, pick your battles. On game nights with her, the winner doesn’t matter. As for playing sports, work, or other situations where payout is more ‘significant’, girls like to see some kind of drive in their man.
3) Opponent: when she is your opponent, you always bring your ‘competitive’ game down a notch. Unless, of course, she is equally competitive; then it can be like a ‘thing’ between you two. Your friends may not appreciate it, but whatever… they’re not sleeping with you!
8. Mr. Always Right
This is a pretty universal faux pas, but it tends to be prevalent in men who have issues with accepting defeat, especially by their lady friend. Similar to Mr. Winner, Mr. Always Right has trouble giving up the reigns. What’s particularly problematic for this guy is that he probably recognizes he’s wrong. What he doesn’t know is that she’ll sense that he knows he’s wrong and she’ll just get annoyed of his persistence. Don’t be like him, or before you know it, you guys will be stuck in this pointless argument, and she’ll just lose her patience with you. Whether it’s a simple piece of information you misunderstood, a lapse in memory, or even a healthy debate, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Own up to it and show your woman you have the berries to admit defeat; you’ll get the next one.
7. Mr. ‘I’m Busy’
Everyone wants to feel important. Now amplify that feeling a little. This is the level of value women need to get from their man. How you make her feel special is up to you, but it must be done. Here are some tips that will help: 1) listen to her, 2) remember what she says, and what she likes/dislikes.
The easiest way to show a girl that she’s special to you is randomness. You don’t need to be extravagant in your gesture; the fact that it’s unplanned makes up for this. Text her a random little kiss emoticon throughout the day, light a candle the next time she comes over, or get her, her favorite ‘anything’… remember, it’s the little things that count.
6. Mr. Man
Yes, you’re a man. You’re strong, and handsome, and rugged. That stuff isn’t going away and you need to remember it. So… when your girl wants to go watch a ‘chick flick’, you suck it up and you go watch that chick flick. She, then, is going to suck it up and go watch that new action movie; and if she doesn’t, she should.
Furthermore, when she wants to talk about feelings, and cuddle, and light candles, and hold your hand … you do it. And though it may not seem like it is, it’ll be the manliest thing you do. Simply because you’re giving your woman what she wants, you’re giving her the man she wants. And, if she’s smart, she’ll give you the woman you want in return.
5. Mr. Jealous
This guy is special because a little bit of him is good, and even necessary. The problem with Mr. Jealous is that he, like Mr. Winner, doesn’t know where to draw the line. If you’re the type of guy who doesn’t allow your woman to have any contact with the male sex, or blows up when another guy so much as looks at her, then you’re definitely slowly pushing her away. You may know that the dude talking to her has hidden motives, but you need to trust that, should the time come, she’ll make things clear and put Mr. Douche in his place. In the mean time, you need to be jealous enough to show her that you care if you ever lost her, but still trust her to do the right thing.
4. Mr. Possessive
Mr. Possessive is a little like Mr. Clinger, except with a hint of aggression. Here’s an exercise, think back on your behavior with your girl in different situations. When she was getting ready to go out with friends, for example. If you see any similarities between what you do, or say, with what a strict, European father would do, or say… then you know you’ll end up driving her away. You can give her your opinion on her outfit, or ask her where she’s going and the people she’ll be with (for safety purposes). These are all acceptable behaviors as long as you recognize when your motives are to control her actions so they fit your needs, and when they are genuinely in her best interest.
3. Mr. Free spirit
Now here is a gentleman who is more than famous among women. Almost all the girls you meet will have, at some point, met Mr. Free Spirit. While there is nothing wrong with avoiding attachment (you have your reasons), you are not exempt from being honest with your current sidekick. Contrary to popular belief, there are quite a few Mrs. Free Spirits out there as well. You just need to search, and for the love of God, communicate what you want. If you don’t tell her, how will you know you’ve found her? And if she isn’t a Mrs. Free Spirit, chances are, she’ll be too proud and stubborn to give you up. She’ll make up some excuse in her head about ‘changing your mind’ and stay. But at least you did your part and she made the conscious decision to continue being ‘free’ with you. If you’re too afraid to tell her the truth because you don’t want to push her away, then maybe it’s time you do some thinking and change your name.
2. Mr. Vain
Here’s another universal, Mr. Vain. In any relationship, some self-involved a-hole is guaranteed to push the other person away. Now, the tricky part is identifying that you are indeed one of these men. It goes without saying, if you only care about yourself, chances are you’re not even reading this list. Just because you don’t care if you push girls away, as long as you’re happy. But then, are you happy if girls keep running away from you? Which begs the question, are you reading this list? If you are, good on you! You’re one step closer to keeping a girl next to you. A good start is to think about, get this… you! Replay any arguments you’ve had with girls in the past. If you find the main theme of the fights are because you don’t do anything for her, or don’t remember anything about her, then there’s a chance you may be too self-involved. Think of it this way, if you like her, you want to keep her. If you keep her, you’re happy. So it’s as if keeping her meets your own selfish need to be happy! So just do what you need to do to keep her.
1. Mr. ‘I’m sorry’
This gentleman is somewhat of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. At first, he’s refreshing. Giving his woman what she wants, apologizing when he needs to, and when he doesn’t. What he doesn’t know, though, is that this pleasant feeling will quickly fade. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes that “I’m sorry” is not always the answer. Mainly because Mr. I’m Sorry doesn’t know when to actually use the words. He just throws them out to end the discussion or the argument. He has no clue what his partner was actually talking about, and he’ll inevitably end up repeating his original error, again, and again. Mr. I’m Sorry will be stuck in this never-ending cycle of mistakes until she finally dumps him. Moral of the story: don’t be like Mr. I’m Sorry.