No matter how unhealthy your relationship may have been, it is never a smooth transition after a relationship ends. Sometimes a relationship ending can seem like the hardest thing you may ever have to experience in this life, and on top of that you’re experiencing it without what used to be your biggest support system. It can sometimes not make sense, it can be frustrating or devastating and in those moments you may feel so alone.
It may not sound all that comforting, but that lonely feeling is one that is common in a lot of individuals after a relationship ends. Sure, your relationship ended for different reasons than Bill’s down the street, but that feeling of a part of you being missing is a far too familiar a feeling in this world.
In those moments where it hurts more than you know what to do, it can be important to take a deep breath and remember that every relationship that ends is just a stepping stone until you find the right person for you.
Everyone moves on from relationships differently, but there are general tips that most people agree can be incredibly helpful in moving on after a relationship ends. It is never going to be easy, but if handled properly, a breakup can be one of the healthiest things you ever do for yourself.
10. See Your Friends
One of the fastest ways to get over a tough breakup may be to re-enter yourself into your social circle. You may not have meant it to happen, but sometimes relationships can severely hinder the time you get to spend with your former besties. By going out and seeing your friends it can also help deal with the loneliness that you may feel initially after the breakup. They will be happy to see you, and can remind you of the importance of keeping yourself active. Just because the person that used to make you the happiest doesn’t anymore, does not mean you don’t deserve happiness.
9. Pamper Yourself
You’ve just been through something incredibly hard. No matter the reasoning behind it, try and take some time out of your day to treat yourself. You’re going to need all the positive endorphins that you can get your hands on to get through the tough days. Common suggestions may be going for a massage, or perhaps going and having a nice workout to get some endorphins flowing. Whatever it is, make sure you listen to your body. Not up for leaving the house? That’s okay! You are only human and you’re just going to do the absolute best that you can. Breakups are hard, but use this time to try and remember what used to make you the happiest before that person. As Tom Haverford would say, TREAT YO SELF!
8. Go On Another Date
Now this is definitely not the best strategy for some people, but it is one that people use. Sometimes when relationships end, you may find yourself feeling like it had been over for a while, but nobody had the courage to end it. If you go out and can find yourself having fun with strangers, then at least it will help limit the feeling that you may never find yourself another partner again. Make sure you are in a healthy place before you decide to engage in another exclusive relationship though, or you may end up hurting both yourself and your new partner. Yet, if you’re hurting and feeling unattractive, it might be nice to have somebody else call you sexy.
7. Change Your Routine
It can be incredibly jarring to have a relationship end. All of a sudden things that you used to do every day are now completely different. Even watching Netflix is an activity that may be a little bit too close to the heart to bear at the present time. It can be huge to change your routine up when your relationship ends. You wanted to pursue a new hobby? Jump on it. You want to travel or start a new job? Anything to make you feel like you are starting to create a new and stronger sense of identity. Being single can be a tremendous opportunity for you to learn how to really love yourself and further your sense of development.
6. Talk To The Person
This is not always a recommended method, but if you feel it is safe, then talking to the person you ended it with can be a huge help in moving on. Relationships end, and while it is not always easy, there were hopefully reasons for it that were valid. If you cannot see that, maybe having a healthy discussion with your partner will allow you to see why it was better that your relationship ended (even if you don’t think it is for the best right now). You’ll find it much harder to move on if you are always thinking that the relationship was perfect.
5. Get a Good Cry On
Make sure you remember that it is completely okay to feel sad. A relationship ending is a monumental change in your life, and it would be unfair to yourself to not allow for some sadness. Even if you know the relationship should have ended, there should (hopefully) be parts of that person that you are going to miss. Part of being able to move on is being able to make peace with that person and the impact they had on your life and taking the lessons forward to your next relationship. Plus, you know what goes really well with a good cry? Ice cream!
4. Clean Your Environment
If your life is feeling like it is spiralling out of control because of a relationship ending, it may be helpful to clean your environment. A messy house or work area is a great way to increase the level of stress and despair that you may already be feeling. Similarly, if you come across things in your house that you find hard to look at because of the breakup, cleaning your environment can be a great way to help physically move on. If you were living with your partner, it may be an ideal opportunity to try and find a new living environment.
3. Write About It
Now I’ll be honest, this is absolutely something that I enjoy because shockingly, I enjoy writing things down (…say what?). It can be huge to sit down and physically write out the reasons why your relationship ended. If you are angry at that person, writing it down can also be a great way to release some of that energy in a controlled environment. It may be less helpful to send said angry letter and incite further drama between the two of you, though. As you go forward and find yourself getting some distance from the breakup, having helpful reminders of your past emotions can also be crucial in moving on in a healthy way.
2. Accept Where You Went Wrong
This will hopefully be something that you come across when you are talking to the person or writing down your feelings. A big part of moving on from any breakup is being able to let go from that relationship. You won’t be able to do that if you can’t see the areas where you faltered. A relationship ending does not have to be a sad thing, but it can be a really healthy thing if you can identify key things that you can change to create healthier relationships going forward. If you can’t identify your own negative patterns, you are more likely to repeat them going forward. Once you find out what to improve on, it can be an incredibly freeing experience.
1. Read Advice
Sometimes when you are feeling alone, it can be incredibly helpful to read advice online or from friends on their own experiences. Breakups are awful, but when you get to the other side and are a stronger person, you will hopefully be able to see the value that came from it. Similarly, you may come across tips online that will help you in your own life. It might feel like you’re never going to get to that other side, but there are other people that have felt that way and survived, and they can help. Every break up is different and each brings on different circumstances, but you never have to face it alone.