The myth that all women are searching for Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome can lead many men to be feel discouraged if they don’t quite fit that role – and they shouldn’t be! No one is denying that physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, and it can often be the spark that ignites many long term pairings. However, there’s a big difference between lust and true love. While a handsome man might catch a woman’s eye in a crowded room, and may keep her attention for a short period of time, there are countless other traits that are far more important to her in the long run.
A man’s looks are just one part of the equation when a woman is considering a partner, and often it’s one of the least important traits. After all, a chiseled jawbone won’t make you smile when you had a bad day, and a six pack won’t make you feel like the most special woman in the world. For a lasting relationship, there are many traits that women value more than just physical appearance. A man who turns out to be the marrying kind has to have several key traits, none of which have anything to do with his physical appearance.
Here are 10 things that women find sexier than looks.
10. Likes Children
Now, full disclosure – this trait depends entirely on what a woman wants in a partner. There are some women who do not want children, ever – in that case, a partner who wants children is going to cause a lot of problems in long-term relationships. After all, it’s a pretty big issue and not really one that you can compromise on. However, a large portion of women are looking to eventually start a family with the man they marry – and they want to know that he’ll be a great dad. Women can get a glimpse into a man’s paternal potential by seeing how he is around kids in general. A guy who can crouch down and happily play in the sand with his nephew? Sexy.
9. Sense of Humor
Sure, you want a partner who will stimulate you intellectually and who you are physically attracted to. Those are all integral parts of successful, happy relationships. However, there’s one trait that women around the world repeat again and again as a must-have in their potential partners – a great sense of humor. Simply put, at the end of the day, women want someone who will make them laugh after a long day, who will be able to alleviate tension by cracking a great inside joke. If you’re going to be hanging around someone for the rest of your life, you may as well make it a lifetime of laughter.
No woman wants a man who is unbearably cocky and thinks he’s God’s gift to the world, but a healthy dose of self-confidence is a must-have trait in any potential mate. A guy could be the most perfect man on earth, but if he’s constantly looking to his woman for reassurance, she’ll eventually get pretty fed up – and turned off. A self-confident men definitely values his partner’s opinion, but he also knows how to make decisions on his own because he’s confident he can make the right ones. Besides, if a man isn’t confident in himself, why would his partner be? A man who is secure in who he is and believes in himself is definitely super sexy.
7. A Positive, Optimistic Attitude
It’s no fun to hang around someone who is constantly negative. When you’re having a rough day, or something in life goes wrong, you want your partner to be able to show you the silver lining – not get you even further down in the dumps. A positive, optimistic attitude is incredibly sexy in a guy, because you know he’ll be there to help you see the bright side when you’re having trouble with something. Glass half full people are often happier, cheerier, and more positive about everything in general – that’s the kind of attitude you want in a partner.
6. Ability to Listen
It’s repeated ad nauseum, but we’ll repeat it once more – communication is a key part of any healthy relationship. If you find that talking to your partner is about as effective and enjoyable as talking to a blank screen, you’re going to get very frustrated, very quickly. Sure, everyone gets distracted sometimes, and you might have to repeat your statement to your man when he’s watching the big game. However, at the end of the day, women want a partner who can put the remote down and listen up. The ability to listen is crucial for everything from serious discussions to pillow talk. A partner who is a good listener demonstrates that he values what you say, and things will go a lot more smoothly on the communication side of things.
5. Takes Pride in his Appearance
Okay, let’s just clarify things – taking pride in one’s appearance doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be the next David Beckham. Just like women have different tastes when it comes to their partner’s looks, they also have different tastes when it comes to their partner’s style. A partner who shows up in Cheeto-stained sweatpants and hair that hasn’t been brushed in days, though? Not sexy. A man who takes pride in his appearance takes the time to consider what he puts on every day. He takes the time to trim his beard, make regular hairdresser’s appointments, etc. Whether they prefer a man who dons a suit every day or are happier with a more casual jeans and t-shirt look, women want a man who takes a little time to consider his appearance rather than just grabbing the first potentially clean item from a bundle on the floor.
Our girl Aretha Franklin sang about it, and women have been repeating it ever since – all I’m asking is for a little respect when you get home. Respect is a vital factor in any successful relationship. Women are confident, intelligent, and every bit as capable of success as their male partners. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that they want to be treated with respect. No woman wants a man who assumes she’ll be preparing every meal, or who belittles her achievements at work. However, unfortunately some men seem to feel threatened by their partners success rather than praising them for it, and that just doesn’t fly. Women want a man who will respect them – R-E-S-P-E-C-T is S-E-X-Y.
Women want a man with ambition. Note – this does not mean the same thing as a man with money. Many women who end up dating or married to a wealthy man get a bad reputation, as many claim they’re merely with them for the money. Sure, this might be true in some examples. However, the sexy trait that many wealthy men have in common with ordinary men boils down to one thing – ambition. Whether his goal is to become the CEO of a company or to get his paintings in a gallery exhibition, a man who has goals and dreams and works really hard to achieve them is definitely sexy.
People have different expectations when it comes to romance. One woman might find it most romantic when her partner takes the kids for a few hours and allows her some time to herself to luxuriate in a bubble bath with a glass of red wine and a good book. Another might want to be wined and dined at an expensive restaurant. Another might be content to have her partner’s full attention for a night in with Netflix and popcorn. The point is, all women want a man who makes an effort. Whether it’s bringing flowers on a random night or just knowing your coffee order by heart, it’s sexy when a man proves that he’s trying to treat his lady well.
The rise of the dad bod should prove something – not all women are looking for someone with a six pack. Different women have different tastes, and someone’s tall, dark and handsome may not be someone else’s cup of tea – physical attractiveness isn’t a clear cut thing. However, there’s one thing that women want – a partner who is healthy. This doesn’t mean someone with a completely ripped physique. It means someone who keeps up his cardiovascular fitness, who makes healthy food choices, who gets proper rest and doesn’t let himself get run down. No one wants a partner who survives off fried food and can’t make it up a flight of stairs – not only is it likely to encourage you to make bad choices yourself, it also means you very well may have less time with your partner because of their unhealthy habits. Healthy = sexy.