Who on Earth really knows what is going on right after you get intimate with your partner? Every time is different and brings with it different tips and tricks that you may be able to use going forward, helping to improve future sessions. Furthermore, you need to hope that your partner is a big fan of communication. That way if you are left wondering what it is they are thinking after sex, you know you can ask her and she should (hopefully) be honest.
That doesn’t mean that there isn’t definitely a checklist of a bunch of different things that you hope your partner is thinking about after you guys have just knocked boots. Some of these are sweet, some practical, but they are all generally positive feelings that you should always try and invoke when you are being intimate with your partner.
Remember that the biggest tool that you have is your openness and willingness to communicate with your partner. Sex is an ever-changing topic, and you need to be in a relationship in which you feel that close connection with your partner every time you are intimate.
10. “You Are Amazing.”
Let’s be honest, you aren’t going to knock boots with someone who doesn’t think you are an amazing lover. Now, this isn’t always the easiest thing to achieve, but there are tricks to being a sex god! If your partner is instead thinking about how she cannot wait to get out of there, you may find yourself constantly looking for a new lady love.
9. “I Feel Sexy.”
Part of making sure you have a healthy sex life is making sure that both you and your partner have a healthy view of your own physical bodies. The more confident you feel in the bedroom, the better everything is going to feel and the more excited you will be to try things out in the future. If you have done your job, the last little while should have been spent with you finding different ways to show her how amazing you think she looks and that should leave you both feeling great after any session.
8. “I Feel Safe.”
There is no sexual relationship in the world that is going to be worth continuing if your partner does not feel safe throughout the session. This is especially paramount in relationships that may have a bit of a kinky element, where after-care is a crucial component. If your partner feels unsure in your sex life, you may find that she is a lot less spontaneous or a lot less willing to bring up the topic of sex. This can be really damaging because there is no shortage of areas where communication can improve your sex life.
7. “You Looked Hot.”
Right on par with her thinking that she is attractive, you need to hope that she is also thinking how attractive you are. Sex should be an area of your life where you get to feel confident, and if your partner is thinking about how sexy you look then you need to hope that she also has the confidence to let you know how you look. You can respond with how sexy you think she looks and everyone ends up feeling better as a result!
6. “That Felt Amazing.”
There can absolutely be value in having intimate time that involves different toys or elements that may be a little bit painful but ultimately pleasurable. While you never want your partner to be sore after any session, it’s even more important to remember after more extreme sessions. Also, make sure that the pain is something that is mutually agreed upon. Similarly, if you want to try and do something like pull her hair, it might not be crazy ‘kinky’ but if you do it wrong you can also leave your partner feeling more annoyed than turned on.
5. “I Want To Cuddle.”
I know the stereotype out there is that guys don’t like to cuddle, but I think that’s a lie. There is nothing that is quite as relaxing as being able to hold your partner close after a vulnerable but building moment for the both of you. I am sure there are men out there who are hoping their partner is thinking the opposite, but I am a firm believer that every kind of physical contact is important, not just the times where you are literally having sex.
4. “When Can We Do That Again?”
Now, it’s not always going to be realistic to have back-to-back sessions, but if you are lying there with your mind currently being blown then you may be hoping that your partner is thinking about when they can do you again! Telling your partner that after the session can also really help facilitate the future session as being something to be excited about. Plus, nothing is going to make you feel quite so desired like hearing that your partner can’t wait to be on you again after they just rocked your world.
3. “I Love Him So Much.”
Sex does not always have to be an exchange of love, but doesn’t that make it all the more meaningful when it is? If your partner is lying there with you and you have just been close, you may constantly be thinking about how much you love your partner and you hope that your partner is feeling the same. Feeling that love, especially in that moment, is a solid representation of how safe and beautiful you both feel in the moment.
2. “We Should Try New Things.”
This may sound like a negative from the outset, but if it’s what she is thinking after sex then it may be a really good sign. Trying new things, as you now know, is a great way to experiment in the bedroom. If she is thinking this, she obviously feels safe enough to be adventurous in the bedroom and that’s when some real fun can begin. Just hope that she doesn’t phrase this like, “Oh, we really need to find something new to do in the bedroom.”
1. “This Was A Good Decision.”
You’d expect that this is not going to be the case of your girlfriend or long-term partner, but for many of those small hookups that start at a bar with some tequila, you definitely want to hope that her first thought after sex isn’t that it was mistake. Similarly, your line of thinking may then translate to, “I hope she still thinks I look as good as she thought I looked when she was drunk.” If there are parts of your experience that you regret or do not want to repeat again, take the opportunity to have that open discussion with your partner and you both will benefit tremendously.
Now when you are looking over at your partner and she has a smile on her face, you may start to have an idea of what she is thinking. If she isn’t smiling, then maybe check out this list about how to spice things up in the bedroom, and realize it is always a benefit to try and work on your sex life.
Also, feel free to explore the potential thought process of every guy right after sex and see if any of them match up!