When it comes to making sure you are in a happy relationship, one of the areas that you should always be evaluating is your level of sexual satisfaction. This does not necessarily mean that you are having sex, but that no matter what stage your relationship is in, you feel desired.
Relationships end all the time because the sexual compatibility is not there, and they lack the chemistry or the effort that goes into making sure both partners are happy. Other couples have fantastic sex lives, but they know a secret that I also know. That secret is that fantastic sex lives are built through work and communication with your partner. A healthy sexual relationship is one in which both partners are aware of the struggles that can come in the bedroom, but also make each other feel confident and supported.
A healthy sex life also means that if you and your partner are so inclined, there are always things you can do to add some extra spice to the bedroom. If you’re feeling like your relationship has hit a bit of a wall, you’re in luck because I guarantee that some of (if not all) these items can work to add a lot more fun in the bedroom.
These might not all work for you, but they follow an overall theme. Make sure your partner feels loved. Make sure they feel sexy and desired. If you are wondering if they are having any doubts that you feel this way, tell them how you feel. Sex can be a fantastic thing in your relationship, and you both owe it to the relationship to make it one.
10. Role Play
Part of having a sex life that you can feel confident in is making sure that if you have fantasies, you can explore them. You are not the first guy in the world to think that cheerleaders are hot, and you won’t be the last. If you are with a partner that you feel comfortable with, they should hopefully be accommodating to a healthy discussion about it at the very least. Now don’t get me wrong, I think I look incredibly sexy in my Marvel pajama pants and Blue Jays sweater that is two sizes too big, but I don’t know if that’s really anyone’s ‘type’?
9. Wear Nice Clothes Out
When you are in a relationship for an extended period of time, it can be easy to stop caring about your appearance as much as you did when you first started dating. Don’t get me wrong, sweatpants are romantic, but I don’t think you wore those on your first date together. If you guys are struggling to find the romance, it may be really nice to set out a date together where you both dress up. You should ideally find your partner attractive, and who doesn’t love seeing them all dolled up? It can also be really sexy to know that your partner is putting in that effort for you.
8. Bring In Toys
Sometimes, sex can be really great if it is just you and your partner, but other times, you may start to feel like you want to add another element to your bedroom. That can be a really exciting step if it is one that is properly communicated to your partner. Bringing in things like toys or a blindfold can help add to the overall enjoyment of any session. It can also be really great to know that your partner is open-minded and willing to try out different things.
7. Read Sex Advice Together
It can be really helpful, and sexy, to check out different sex advice sites together. This can range from reading different positions, to just reading about people who have had their own experiences in the bedroom and want to share. Sex is an area of your relationship that should always feel like it is growing, and if it feels routine, then why not take advice from others? It can also establish a great relationship of having proper communication, which as you are about to find out, can lead to much better sex.
6. Talk About Sex Openly
Do you know what is incredibly sexy? Communication! It can do wonders for your bedroom if you feel like you can talk about sex openly and without judgement from your partner. If you are feeling shy about it, then the chances of you having sex at night may only come down to if you and your partner are both in the bed at the same time. Communicating your desires can go a long way towards not only feeling fulfilled, but also making your partner feel attractive. Everyone wants to feel like they are sexy and desired. If you feel that way about your partner, make sure you tell them.
5. Push Your Comfort Levels
You should never do anything in bed that makes you feel inherently uncomfortable. You have your right to your body and should never feel like you have given that away. That being said, it can add some spice to your life if you are able to open up your comfort levels to trying out different experiences. Are there things that you are iffy on but aren’t super against? Why not try them out? You never know what you may find. This can range from different toys (as talked about above) to something like blindfolds. Also just knowing that you can trust your partner to keep you safe while you are exploring a vulnerable part of yourself can be incredibly sexy.
4. Wear Fun Lingerie
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with nudity! But if you are hoping to add that extra little spice in the bedroom, then maybe take a look at adding some spice to your closet. Wearing fun lingerie can do wonders for making you feel sexy and desired, which will dramatically increase your confidence and help make for a memorable session. It also sends a clear message to your partner that you care about putting effort into the bedroom. If you’re a guy, you may not feel like there are as many options, but figure out what type of clothing your partner loves to see you in and try to oblige. If she is in sexy lingerie, make no mistake that this could be a really vulnerable thing for her as well, so you better make her feel like the sexy woman that she is.
3. Tease Your Partner Through The Day
Sex does not only have to happen in the bedroom. It can be instigated throughout the day through simple things like throwing a text to your partner that lets them know you are thinking about them. Leave a fun note or send a picture if you are feeling comfortable. The point of all of this is that it also creates that open dynamic that we now know is so important in creating a healthy and sexy relationship. Nothing will make your partner want to rip your clothes off more when you come home at 9:30pm like having told them what you wanted to do to them twelve hours ago.
2. Vocalize What You Like As It’s Happening
One of the biggest signs of sexual compatibility is that you enjoy fooling around with your partner (shocking, right?). One way to surely add some spice is to make sure you tell your partner what you like. Yes, even tell them what you like while the sex is happening. Perhaps that openness and freedom that you feel with your communication can lead to some experiences in the bedroom that you loved but didn’t know you would. Plus, I don’t know about you, but when my partner makes me feel desired and tells me that… Well that’s a pretty good way to feel.
1. Switch Things Up
I’ve talked before (even in this list!) about the importance of making sure that your sex life does not feel like it is settling into a routine. Do you guys always do the same style? Well, maybe reading sex advice together will help you guys figure out some new areas to explore. Do you always have sex in your bed? Next time, try the couch! The confidence that radiates from someone who is not afraid to explore and switch things up is incredibly sexy, and helps make you feel like your sex life is the kind that will always be expanding.