As a serious relationship progresses, it’s bound to hit a few milestones. There is the first time you spend the night at their place, the first time you say “I love you,” and the first time you meet their parents. Of all the relationship milestones, moving in is one of the most committing.
Moving in together brings an assortment of emotional issues. Can you really stand living with this person, sharing a kitchen with this person, a bed with this person, a bathroom with this person? You’re bound to learn new things about this person that you hadn’t realized before – whether it is how late they sleep, how often they wear a face mask or how lazy they are when it comes to cleaning. All of these things can take a toll on the relationship in one way or another.
On top of discovering what the person you’re dating is really like, there is also a financial aspect. Living together adds another dynamic to the relationship that is not all that fun and not all that sexy: finances. Not all relationships can endure adding this aspect. They crack under the pressure of due dates and the awkwardness of asking your partner to fork up their half of the electric bill.
With that said, moving in together can be an exciting time in a relationship … that is, if you’re ready. Sharing an apartment results in sharing a bed every day, shower sex and nightly homemade dinners, or, if we’re all being honest, ordering from Seamless. How can you tell if moving in together will be paradise or disaster? Here are ten major signs that you’re ready to make this next big step:
10. You’ve Had A Big Fight
Having a huge, blow-out fight and getting over it is the sign of a strong relationship. If you haven’t had a huge fight yet, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is so strong that you two will never fight. It means that it just hasn’t happened yet. All couples fight, no matter how much they get along. You are bound to fight eventually and you have to be sure that your relationship is strong enough to withstand the slamming doors and sleeping on the couch. The ability to repair what damage has been done to the relationship after the fight is the important part, especially if you plan on sharing a home.
9. You’ve Had The Awkward Money Conversation
Talking about money can be awkward, but if it’s too awkward or avoided all together, that is a red flag. Moving in together means eating meals together, using electricity, water and gas together, and paying rent together. Expectations about how the bills will be paid should be discussed before a couple ever moves in together. Do not just assume that you will be splitting costs down the middle. Some couples do split everything 50/50, but there are many other solutions to the question of how to pay the bills, so discussion is key. Being in a place with your partner where you feel comfortable discussing finances is important, since you’ll soon be sharing all the same bills.
8. You Like Each Other A Lot
This should go without saying, but you should really like the person you are moving in with. The important thing is to not confuse infatuation with actually liking someone. There is a period at the start of any relationship during which the person you’re seeing is perfect and can do absolutely no wrong. That period is infatuation and it will wear off. After the butterflies have subdued and the wild sex slows down, do you and this person have fun together? Can you even hold a conversation with this person? You’d be surprised at how much infatuation can mess with your mind.
7. You’re Okay With Sharing A Bathroom
Usually it takes some time in a relationship before one feels completely comfortable using the same bathroom. Obviously using the toilet is a hot topic, but there’s also showering, face masks, and your nightly ritual. If you’re okay with this person seeing you at your most vulnerable and undone, then that is a great sign for moving in together. You should be okay with your partner knowing that you’re a human being, and human beings floss, have zits and use the bathroom.
6. You’ve Discussed Living Expectations
Where are you two going to live? The world is a big place and there are a lot of options when it comes to where to live. Some people are okay with sacrificing size for a prime location, while other people would like a larger living space further outside the city. Knowing what your significant other has in mind living-wise is important. You may be dating someone who thinks no backyard is a deal-breaker, and you’ll have to find that out the hard way.
5. You Know What They Watch On TV
Televisions have become the focal point of many living rooms. Now, most American households also have televisions in their bedrooms. You and your significant other may not like all the same television shows, but it’s important to, at the very least, know their watching habits if you’re going to be sharing a living space. They may need to watch Grey’s Anatomy every single Thursday with a box of tissues nearby or they may occupy the television all day on Sundays watching football. You should know what you’re getting yourself into before there’s a fight about watching a Giants game over The Good Wife.
4. You’ve Met All The Important People In Their Everyday Life
You might not have met everyone in their life. Hell, you may not have even met their parents – if their parents live far away or they aren’t close to them. That isn’t necessary. What is necessary is meeting all the most important people in their everyday life. If they are very close with a friend, boss or relative, you should have met them. It’s likely that this person could be coming over to your shared place so it’s nice to make sure that you don’t, you know, hate their best friend (who comes over way too much) before you move in together.
3. You Respect Each Other’s Lifestyles
A night owl and an early bird can most certainly be in a relationship with each other as long as they respect each other’s lifestyles. It’s not necessary to have the same schedules and preferences, but knowing what your significant other’s lifestyle is and respecting it is very important. It is also very important that they respect your lifestyle choices as well. If you like to sleep in but your partner wakes up at 5 a.m. for a run and is not all that quiet about it, it could cause some unnecessary friction in the relationship.
2. You’ve Vacationed Together
Vacationing together is one the big signs that you’re in an adult relationship. Vacations with a significant other can be adventurous, fun and romantic. They can provide some of the best memories you’ll ever make with a person you’re dating. However, vacations can also be disastrous. If you aren’t living together, a week-long vacation may be your first taste of what living with this person is like. Do they leave the hotel room a mess? Do you feel comfortable sharing the bathroom? All of these obstacles come into play when on a vacation with someone you’re dating. That being said, if you love your time vacationing with someone and saw no issue sharing a hotel room then it might be time to move in together.
1. You’re Spending Almost Every Night Together
If you and your partner are spending every single night together, it’s time to move in. You’re practically living together already, just make it official. It will feel good to just have one space and one rent to pay between the two of you. At this point, one of you is probably paying for an apartment that you guys are never at. Plus, it will alleviate the issue of wondering if your favorite white shirt is at their place or your place since all your stuff is scattered between the two apartments.