It’s happened to us all before – the breakup that came out of absolutely nowhere! But…did it really, though? Did you see the signs but couldn’t actually fathom the idea of someone not wanting to be with you anymore? (You’re so awesome! How?!)
This time, it can be different. You can take a step back and look at your relationship with a more critical eye and prep yourself for the inevitable. The end of a relationship is like the end of an era, no doubt. It’s heartbreaking and difficult to accept. And to be honest, getting dumped just plain sucks! No one wants to be the one who gets the boot. Just ask Scott Disick, America’s least empathetic dumpee. Being tossed to the curb can be hard on the heart – and on the ego. But the sooner you can spot a relationship headed for splitsville, the sooner you can begin moving on with your life and finding someone who does want to go the distance with you.
Sure, all relationships hit some lows. But when are those lows becoming too frequent and going on for far too long? Don’t let a breakup surprise you like a Shonda Rhimes plot twist. Learn how to spot the signs that the love of your life may have fallen out of love with you before you invest more of yourself into a doomed relationship. Who knows, if you can spot it soon enough, maybe you’ll be the one saying, “Bye, Felicia!” instead.
10. Hot Sex is a Thing of the Past
When someone is having second thoughts about whether or not a relationship is working for them, it’s not surprising that sex may become a little less exciting or even disappear altogether. Yes, sex can become less spicy or less frequent even in healthy relationships. But when your sex life crosses over from hot and steamy to basically non-existent, there’s a good chance something’s wrong. If the quality of your sex life takes a turn for the worst, it’s time to brace yourself for the possibility of a split.
Sex is a way happy couples connect with one another on both a physical and emotional level. If your partner no longer wants to do that, something could be amiss. If you can’t remember the last time you guys even had sex – well, let’s just say you should start working on your Tinder profile. Just go download the app right now.
9. Moving to the Next Step Ain’t Happening
If you and your significant other have discussed the future but you don’t see any action, it could mean the end is near! (Luckily, not the end of the world, just this relationship!) You have to ask yourself why someone would be so reluctant to move forward if they are happy. The answer might be that they just aren’t happy anymore and are having some serious doubts about committing further. Whether you discussed moving in together or getting married, if those plans are put on the backburner for what seems like an eternity, your relationship may be headed down the path of no return.
Planning ahead is a sure fire sign your boo is on board for the long haul. If he or she just can’t envision themselves moving any further with you, you can’t be totally shocked when they finally call it quits. Do they brush you off when you bring it up? Or do they dodge the topic entirely? Yeah, the next step is coming, but it may not be exactly what you were hoping for.
8. Your Title is Abolished
If your sweets used to introduce you as their boyfriend or girlfriend and are now just introducing you by your first name, you may be dealing with more than just a rough patch. If your partner never introduced you in any other way, then it’s business as usual for you two.
But when you go from an obvious title to nothing at all, start sniffing around for more clues. What about pet names? Have those become ancient history, too? This is a sign your partner just isn’t feeling it anymore. He or she may not even be conscious of the fact that they’re doing it – which is probably an even bigger sign that things are over in their mind.
7. Intimacy Takes a Back Seat
Intimacy doesn’t only refer to sex. It’s cuddling, holding hands, kissing each other goodnight and all that other sappy stuff everyone pretends is pathetic but really desperately wants more of. If you used to snuggle up together on the couch all the time but now can’t remember the last time your mate wanted to hold your hand, you could be on the verge of getting dumped.
Intimacy is a way couples share their love with one another. Sex isn’t all it takes to make the physical side of your relationship thrive. Some people may not be affectionate, which is perfectly fine. But if someone goes from bringing on the PDA to pushing away from your touch, it could be a sign of trouble. Any major change in behaviour should tip you off that the object of your affection is planning a big move – without you.
6. They Start Hanging Out With Their Single Peeps – A LOT!
When in a relationship, people may start spending less time with the one-night-stand friends and the strip club VIPs they once chilled with every weekend. If those single peeps – you know, the ones out cruising the bar scene every night – make an unusual appearance in your partner’s life again, there’s something to worry about. Especially if meeting up with said friends is becoming more and more frequent.
What do they have in common anyway? Most likely the possibility that your one and only may soon be re-joining the singles team – or is at least considering it. If outings with the boys – or the ladies – start becoming a thing and the crowd your partner is partying with are a little too raunchy for your taste, it’s time to face the facts. You’re probably about to get dumped. Time to get your single posse back on speed dial and start rebuilding your life at the nearest bar.
5. They’re Suddenly AWOL on Social Media
Out of nowhere, your main squeeze decides social media just isn’t for them anymore. They suddenly don’t like the idea of being “watched” by Big Brother. Hmmm…odd, especially since it was never an issue before. But how does going Amish on social media have anything to do with your relationship? Well, it’s actually the perfect plan, you see!
Facebook and Instagram are basically online collages of you two sharing dessert, vacationing together, and watching the sunset. You even check in at each other’s apartments! If the fire in your relationship is gone and your partner is looking to move on, it would be pretty hard to do with pages and pages of evidence that he or she is still committed to someone else. With no traceable proof that you two are an item, your partner is putting themselves back up for grabs. If looking for a new flame isn’t a sign your relationship is dead, we don’t know what is.
4. Your Phone Ain’t Ringing
You can do all the test calls you want, we both know your phone isn’t broken! Your significant other just isn’t calling you back – which is a sure-fire sign they’re starting to write you out of the equation. Your voicemail used to have a ton of messages every day – it was borderline scary! And now you can’t get a returned call or text message without faking a medical emergency.
There’s definitely trouble in paradise when one person just can’t seem to make time for the other. We get it – he or she is just busy. But unless they’re out there deciding the fate of the free world or working as the PR reps for the Kardashian empire, they’re not busy enough to not make time for you! The question is: do they want to? Judging by your cell phone’s full battery despite not having been charged in two days, we’re going to have to say no, they don’t want to.
3. They Need a Minute – Or Like a Lot Longer
If your partner is asking for space in your relationship, it’s pretty clear they need some time to process how they really feel about things. They’re obviously having a moment and need to figure things out – without any interference from you and your relationship.
As time goes on, relationships can slowly become more distant. But a straight up demand for it – especially when it seems to come from absolutely nowhere – just isn’t a good sign when it comes to the future of your relationship. Even if it doesn’t mean the end for good, it does mean there is some serious doubt going on. That alone is enough to plant a wedge between the two of you and cause some damage you may not be able to repair.
2. Convos Are Turning Into Monologues
You guys used to talk about everything. With the cheeky banter going back and forth, you never had a quiet or dull moment. And now, you find yourself asking pointless questions just to get anything more than a one-word answer out of this person! You may even instigate an argument just to get some sort of reaction and still – nothing!
When your partner seems to shut down and doesn’t even care enough to argue with you anymore, it’s safe to say this isn’t exactly a match made in heaven. Your partner has lost interest in sharing anything with you and his or her mind literally goes blank when you strike up a convo. If you’re now the only one keeping the conversation going, you’ve officially entered into a relationship with yourself. On the plus side, at least you’re discussing with someone who is finally on your level!
1. You Just Know
Don’t underestimate the power of intuition. If you have that nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just know your significant other isn’t in it anymore, they probably aren’t. You can try to come up with different ways of excusing their strange and suddenly distant behaviour, but eventually you’ll have to face facts.
If you’re not feeling the love anymore, it may be because the other person just isn’t giving you any. It doesn’t mean it’s anyone’s fault. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out without any particular reason. The sooner you can admit to yourself what’s really going on, the sooner you can get back into the swing of things and move on with someone who does want to pretend they hate PDA and loves shooting the shit with you.