It’s never easy to realize that it is time to end your relationship. Even if it seems like the right decision, that does not make it an easy one. There is nothing more damaging than being in an unhealthy relationship, but sometimes you need to be removed from that relationship to see how unhealthy it was. Your partner holds too much of an impact on your life going forward, to be with someone that is not making you feel like your best self.
It is up to you to determine what makes a healthy relationship. It is also up to you and your partner, to communicate properly to make sure each others needs are being met.
Relationships can take a lot of work and constant effort to keep operating. This may be even more paramount as the relationship gets ‘older’. Yet for every relationship out there that is successful, there are people that should not be together. It may not always be spelled out to you in super obvious ways that you need to leave. This can lead to many relationships going on for far longer then they should. Situations like living together or expenses or kids are just some of the examples that may make leaving a relationship all the harder. You must not forget that you always deserve to be loved. You deserve to be respected and with a partner that you treat with that same respect. If you are wondering if your relationship is dead, even if you haven’t explicitly said it, perhaps this will offer some insight.
10. You Prefer Being Alone
Why would you look forward to not interacting with your partner? For some people in an unhealthy relationship, they may feel their partner is constantly weighing them down. At least when they are sleeping, you know you will not get into a fight. It is totally natural to want to have time to yourself or your own space. Yet if you find yourself actively excited about when your partner is not around or interacting with you, then what are you doing there? Make sure that your partner coming home from work is one of your favourite parts of the day. Not the part where they left you alone.
9. Your Future Together Is Not Exciting
The best thing in my entire life is my relationship. When I think about the future, there is nothing more exciting than knowing the role she will play in it. For some relationships, the future is not a positive place to think about. They may have found themselves living a future that they do not necessarily desire, but feel comfortable with. Your relationship should excite you, and if does not, it may be time to look at why that is.
8. You Are Unsure Of Marriage
Now let me clarify, if you are unsure about marriage after your first date, that’s okay! Some relationships go on for years and both parties are still undecided on if they should be married. There are some questions in life that you should ask with absolute certainty and know the answer. Asking someone to marry you is one of those questions. It should be so clear to you and to your partner that marriage is the right decision. It should be a decision that was so clearly communicated that you should have absolutely no doubts about your partner. If you have been together for years and are still unsure if you want to spend your life with them, then what sign on earth are you waiting for? You do not need to propose to have a productive talk about your future.
7. You Have Completely Different Life Goals
This is the sad reality of life. You can have someone that you love so tremendously, but if you have different life goals it may not work. This includes but is not limited to issues such as wanting children. If you do not want children, that is fantastic and more power to you. If your partner does however, that is going to cause unfixable damage. Children are not something you can give as a compromise, and it is too much of a lifestyle impact to just give up. Make sure you and your partner both know the answer to other long-term lifestyle questions.
6. You Lack Sexual Chemistry
A proper sex life is absolutely crucial to making any relationship work. If you and your partner only have sex once every 2 months? Great, as long as you both have communicated that you only want it that often. A relationship with a mismatched libido is destined to have countless problems that evolve beyond the bedroom. If sex is not a topic that you and your partner can communicate about comfortably, do your best to work on that. It is too important to leave unattended without constant communication.
5. You Just Don’t Try Anymore
Relationships are not easy. They are a great deal of work, but they can be the most rewarding thing you will ever experience. Some days are tough, but on those days you need to love your partner all the more. One thing that keeps a relationship running is knowing that your partner will put in the time and effort to help you when you need it. It is going to get tiring if you feel like you are always putting in the effort, and that your partner does not care.
4. You Do Not Trust Each Other
This is a fundamental reason why cheating can be so hard to get over. Trust is critical to a healthy relationship. If there is no trust, other aspects of your relationship may quickly erode. You may find yourself getting more paranoid or anxious about your partner’s behavior. This may make you start to turn your relationship to an area of stress as opposed to an area of love. Trust, once broken, can be rebuilt, but it needs to be done over time and through a lot of hard work by both partners. If you do not trust your partner and it is not crystal clear how much they love you and are working for you, your relationship may only be getting worse.
3. You Do Not “Like” Your Partner
It is one thing to love your partner, it is another to like them. Do you like their interests? Are they your best friend beyond just the fact that you spend the most time with them? You are going to spend the rest of your life with this partner, so make sure at least some of your interests match. Sometimes couples get together out of convenience or because you fall for someone quicker than you ever expected. In those moments it is always important to be evaluating what your partner values and likes. If you hate football but it is his favorite thing ever? Enjoy dealing with that for the next 60 years!
2. You Fail To Communicate
Everyone has a different communication style. You need to hope that your partner’s meshes with yours. If you find yourself constantly bickering with each other, you need to ask yourself if this is normal. Everyone has a different way they express love, and there is no value in staying in a relationship where you do not feel appreciated. It is even more difficult when you try to communicate issues, but they fall on deaf ears. A lack of communication can be displayed as a lack of effort in the relationship. Once both those elements manifest, your relationship may be hard to save.
1. Time Together Is What Keeps You Together
Do you love your partner more today then you did yesterday? Ideally you do. Love for your partner should grow every day, as you both constantly find different ways to show love and appreciation for one another. Relationships that get older may run into issues if you take each other for granted. Some relationships may struggle every day, but because they have been together for years or even decades, it may be harder to leave. It is even harder to be with someone that does not love you like you deserve. Never use length of time together to be a justification for actions that you know are unacceptable.