Do you think that the boyfriend or girlfriend you have today would make a good parent? If you are already married and have kids, did you have an idea that your husband or wife would turn out to be the parent that he or she is today, or did such thoughts never cross your mind? Regardless of what stage you are at in your life and your relationship, thinking about the future with your significant other is very important.
When men are looking for women to marry they should not only look at how beautiful a woman is on the outside, but they should consider numerous other aspects including the kind of a mother she will be to his children. Your children are your future because they will carry your family name several decades into the future after you are dead and gone, and their impact on society will be dependent on how well you raise them up.
Since mothers generally spend more time with children compared to fathers, it’s very important for the woman to be a great mother. We have seen many mothers out there who raise their children in the worst possible way; they neglect their children, they hurt their children physically and emotionally, they spoil their children, and they forget to love them to bits. Here are ten qualities that every man should look out for in the woman he is going out with. Have in mind that the more of these qualities she has, the more likely she is to be a bad mother.
10. She is Too Proud
Pride here is used to mean the over-inflated sense that your girlfriend might have towards her looks, her “perfect figure,” and the things she can and can’t do. If you can find the perfect example of the above definition of pride in your girlfriend, then you will have a very hard time raising your kids if you intend on getting married and having children. Children will mess up her figure, make her look fat during and after the pregnancy, and she will have to deal with the baby’s diapers and vomit on a daily basis. If she is too proud to humble herself to the level of doing anything and everything for her children, especially when they are very young, she will make a terrible mother.
9. She is Impatient
How does your girlfriend react when you come to pick her up a few minutes late, or when you take a long time to adjust to a commitment you made where she is involved? Patience is central to parenting, and a mother who is impatient with her children will lead a very miserable life and make the lives of those around her equally miserable. Especially when they are very young, children are very unreasonable. They do not follow instructions, they want to have their way or else they will scream and cry for hours, they will demand all your attention, throw tantrums, refuse to sleep at night regardless of how early you need to wake up, and they offer no apologies for their behaviour. If she is impatient with you, then she will be impatient with your children.
8. She Has No Morals or Values
Every society has its own set of morals, values, and beliefs, and the wonderful thing here is that the above are largely similar across all human societies. Furthermore, it is a great idea to be in a relationship with someone who you share the same set of morals, values and beliefs with, because understanding each other then becomes very easy. If you look at your girlfriend and it appears to you that she has no strong set of morals, does not believe in anything that makes sense, and acts very irresponsibly, then she is likely going to make a terrible mother. If your girlfriend is engaged in life-threatening activities such as taking illicit drugs, getting drunk every other night, and regularly partying until the sun comes up, then you need to think seriously before having children with her.
7. She Lacks a Sense of Care and Anticipation
A good mother is in actual sense a caregiver because she should be able to tell when her child is not feeling well and take the necessary steps to nurse her child back to health. Furthermore, a good mother should be able to interpret what her child is feeling or trying to say especially when the child is too young to articulate what they are feeling, and she should have the ability to anticipate her child’s needs. You will be able to tell if she is caring or has a sense of anticipation by the way she treats you. A good caring mother will have basic first aid skills and a natural instinct to always protect and care for her children; do you think your girlfriend is a good caregiver?
6. She is an Extreme Perfectionist
A perfectionist is a great person to have as a friend because they will always challenge you to become a better person, but when these perfectionists have unrealistic standards they become extremely annoying. If your girlfriend is an extreme perfectionist, she will be a very angry woman for a very long time because children are anything but perfect. She might also end up hating herself because her children might not turn out exactly as she had planned, yet she does not know how to deal with failure on her part. Her inability to tolerate failures and shortcomings in your children might lead them to becoming extremely rebellious or extreme perfectionists like her, and possibly live a miserable life in this imperfect world.
5. She Thinks She is Always Right and is Never Willing to Learn
Every wise man out there who wants to have a wonderful relationship knows that his woman is “always right,” or at least he makes her feel like what she thinks and says is more important than anything. However, some women out there are obsessed with being right all the time and have no space in their lives to learn anything new from other people apart from what they already know. A know-it-all girlfriend who believes she is better than everyone will have a very hard time raising children, not to mention the damage she might do to the children because such people are not open-minded. Parents can learn a lot of things from their children as they bring them up, and those who refuse to learn end up angry and frustrated.
4. She is Very Materialistic
A materialistic girl might not be the best person to have as a girlfriend, let alone as the mother of your children. Materialistic people end up spending too much money on things that could cost less, and place too much importance on being the people with the latest or most expensive clothes, jewellery, gadgets or any other possession. This materialistic nature can be a real bank breaker for a man who is not able to earn as much as she can spend, because if he cannot keep up with her spending she will probably leave him. If her materialistic nature rubs off on your children then you are in for a terrible future, because they will all become spoiled brats who no one wants to be associated with. Furthermore, if they do not work hard and become successful, they will end up squandering the little money they make on meaningless expenses.
3. She Makes You and Everyone Around Her Angry
How many friends does your girlfriend have, and are they the friends you would consider genuine or are they the type that speak ill of her behind her back? If your girlfriend is the type of person who has a way of offending and making everyone angry effortlessly, then she is not a candidate for the best mother of the year award. If she makes everyone including you very angry, then you can imagine how angry she will make the children who will spend a lot of time with her. A good mother is one who goes out of her way to make other people, especially her children, feel loved, appreciated and celebrated.
2. She Does Not Like Children
If your girlfriend tells you straight up that she does not like children, then it would be wise to listen to her and not expect her to be a great mother when she has no choice. Unless the two of you can either wait for her hormones to help change her mind and desire to have children in the future, or accept a life without children, both of you are in for an awful parenting experience. If she accidentally gets pregnant and has to bring up a child, she might end up hating the child, not knowing or even caring what the child’s needs are, and making your life a living hell for getting her pregnant. Therefore, do not force her to have children when she clearly wants to avoid them.
1. She is Emotionally Immature
If someone stepped on your girlfriend’s foot by mistake on the streets, how would she react? If you know she will lose control, start cursing the other person, and end up having a really bad day because of it, then that’s a sign she lacks self-control. A good mother needs to be a woman who can control her emotions because children will make her angry more often than we think. If your girlfriend is likely to lose control every time your child makes a mistake and resorts to physical violence, meaningless grudges, or the use of abusive language toward your child, then you are in for a tough life. A parent should always strive to provide a healthy, safe, and peaceful environment for his or her child, and this requires a great deal of emotional maturity.