It does not matter how amazing your mental connection may be with someone, your relationship may always feel incomplete if you are not sexually compatible. It is imperative that you know you have the ability to connect with your partner on every level that a healthy relationship requires, and that includes being able to grow sexually with them.
There is nothing wrong with having a high libido, low libido, being asexual or anything in between, but it can be unfair to your partner if your sexual preferences do not line up with their own. The more you connect with your long-term partner, the more you can hope that your sexual chemistry will grow over time. That being said, there still needs to be that physical attraction in your relationship or you’ll have fears that they are thinking the worst during moments of intimacy.
It is important to also know that it’s okay to not always know your preferences or what will make you sexually compatible with one person but not another. The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself in what your desires are for a partner, and make sure that you do not spend time in an unhealthy relationship. If you are left in an unhealthy sexual dynamic for too long, you may start to feel like that is the expected pattern in a relationship and it can be damaging even after the relationship ends.
If the sexual chemistry with your current partner is strong, it may have been something that you picked up on within moments of your first date. It may have been made all the clearer by a passionate kiss that made you swoon. There may be many reasons as to why you think your partner is the bee’s knees in the bedroom, here are 10 of them.
10. You Can Laugh
I know it doesn’t look like it in the romance movies, but sexuality is not always going to be a smooth area of your life and can bring with it unexpected moments. As a result, one of the most important things to remember in regards to sexuality is that it is supposed to be something that is fun. You absolutely need to be safe, but you may find your perfect partner when you know you’re able to laugh at something ridiculous that may happen in the heat of the moment. Intimacy can sometimes lead to some involuntary noises, and knowing you can both relax goes a long way to ensuring excellent sexual chemistry.
9. You’re Physical Outside Of Bed
Sometimes the best foreplay takes place far away from the bed. A great sign of how compatible you are is how affectionate you can be in everyday life. Little gestures like hands on the small of your back, or cuddling close on the couch even if sex is not imminent can be a great way to make any physical actions a smoother transition, as well as make it a comfortable extension of your relationship. Not to mention that if you are constantly physical, even in little ways, it will limit the chance that your relationship will feel more like roomates living together than a real relationship. Plus, if you feel awkward just touching your partner in everyday life, good luck once you get them naked!
8. It Feels Good
Did you know that intimacy is supposed to feel good? There is not a person out there that you would claim to be sexually compatible with if physical affection was not a great time for you. A lot of people get hung up on the idea of always having an orgasm every time, and that is not always going to be the case. Physical time together can still feel good both physically and mentally even without the big O. If you’re with your partner and you’re constantly staring the clock down and praying it’s over, it probably isn’t the healthiest sex life.
7. You Get Aroused Quickly
While foreplay is always going to be something I recommend, a sign of sexual chemistry can be how quickly aroused you are. If your partner is kissing you up and down or wearing something to arouse you, and you’re really not digging it, then there may be an issue. If you feel that you have a strong connection with your partner, you may find the process all the quicker. Similarly, giving your partner a look of intent may be a clear sign to someone who is sexually in tune, but could be completely lost on a partner that does not mesh with your style.
6. Your Sex Is Adventerous
Sexuality is an ever changing thing, and what you love today may not be what you are craving in a year’s time. Hopefully, you have hopes that your partner will stick around and what that may mean is that your routine will get switched up as time goes on. The more compatible you are with your partner, the more exciting (instead of anxiety-inducing) this process can be. It takes a lot of confidence to be able to open up about different interests in the bedroom, but it can be an incredibly beneficial skill to develop in your relationship.
5. How You Feel When You’re Away From Them
It can be incredibly exciting to know that your partner can make you smile just by thinking about them. As your connection with your partner grows, the more you think about your partner and your sex life the more you may start to grow in confidence in your relationship and how comfortable you are about talking about intimacy. How you think about your partner when they are not around is a huge indication of the potential of any relationship, and a healthy sex life may also lead to some thoughts that can make the previously mentioned exploring all the more exciting for the both of you. It also isn’t the worst sign if they start popping up in some provocative dreams!
4. You Feel Beautiful And Desired
When you are with a partner that makes you feel loved and respected throughout the day, your sex life should be an extension of that. Given the physical nature of any act, you should also hope that it leaves you feeling beautiful and desired. The better you can feel about yourself after any form of intimacy, the more likely you are to want to continue exploring things with your partner. If you are sleeping with someone that makes you feel used, or not beautiful during the act, you may want to start asking yourself if this is someone that is worth your time and effort.
3. Sex Feels Balanced
It always baffles me when I read people online that complain that their partner expects foreplay or oral, but they also refuse to give the act themselves. Sex is not an “all me” thing, it’s a give and take relationship with your partner that should be based on open communication so that you always feel appreciated. Even if something like oral is not your favorite thing in the world, with the right partner, you should hopefully enjoy it because you enjoy pleasing them. Similarly, you should do so with the confidence that if you have needs or desires that you will be able to have an open and honest conversation with your partner.
2. You Have Similar Libido’s
One of the biggest things that can end a relationship, is a sex life where you do not have a similar libido to your partner. It is not fair to either partner for one to feel deprived of sex, while the other feels pressured to have too much sex. You know you have perfect chemistry when you are both perfectly satisfied with the amount of intimacy that you have in your life. It doesn’t have to be a staggering number, it just has to be an amount that makes you feel beautiful and not neglected as a partner.
1. You’re Great At Kissing
This is never going to be a sure thing, but one of the first tells that someone is a great lover for you may be how they kiss. If they feel like they are fumbling to find your lips, I can only imagine what they are going to do when faced with a bra clasp (the secret? Just cut it with scissors). Kissing is hopefully a part that is present throughout any intimate act, and it’s a lot harder to get in the mood if every time your partner opens their mouth you get hit with a waft of garlic bread and Cheetos.